Major League Baseball Thread 2006 Season
04-11-2006 | 09:09 PM
#402
Go B's Go
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 4,220
Likes: 0
From: MA
Originally Posted by PillsburyChoboy
I'm hoping Beckett has a solid season (he's on my fantasy team). He's always pitched well when healthy but I don't know any other pitcher who has frequent blister problems like he does. Hopefully he can get that figured out and put together a 32-to-34-starts season for a change. Meh about the WS game back in 2003 ... sorry to say but I abide by the "what have you done for me lately" doctrine, which is suitable because Beckett's pitching for a new team, a new league, and for some serious money. Sure, he was awesome during those playoffs but it's 2006 now and he's gotta execute (a la Schilling after joining the BoSox from AZ).
04-13-2006 | 01:23 PM
#408
Tristate ViP Crew
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 14,089
Likes: 1
From: North Jersey
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Do they count if they're against the Royals? 
04-13-2006 | 01:35 PM
#410
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by CL Platano
C'mon it's too early in the season for Yankee bashing atleast wait till June when they are 5 games ahead of the Red Sox. I can't even call them Gay Sox because there is only 1 left ( Varitek ).
You guys have the gayest trio in baseball now. All you need to do is hire ABreece as a bat boy.
04-13-2006 | 09:54 PM
#411
Senior Moderator
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 6,360
Likes: 66
From: Ft. Lauderdale
Woot!
Went to the Marlins game today. Watched them beat the Padres 9-2. A rout.
It's funny to see the batting averages go from .000 to .500 with one hit.
I should have taken pictures. It'll prolly be rare. A Marlin's win.
Loria had a letter to the fans in the program whining about how he wants a dedicated, retractible roof baseball stadium. He says the reason the fans don't show is because of heat and/or rain.
Well it was a breezy and sunny 75 degrees today and I doubt there were more than 3,000 ppl there.
Maybe more ppl would show if there were water fountains in the stadium and/or you didn't have to pay $7 for a draft beer or $5 for a coke or $6 for a friggin hot dog.
Sad.
It's funny to see the batting averages go from .000 to .500 with one hit.
I should have taken pictures. It'll prolly be rare. A Marlin's win.
Loria had a letter to the fans in the program whining about how he wants a dedicated, retractible roof baseball stadium. He says the reason the fans don't show is because of heat and/or rain.
Well it was a breezy and sunny 75 degrees today and I doubt there were more than 3,000 ppl there.
Maybe more ppl would show if there were water fountains in the stadium and/or you didn't have to pay $7 for a draft beer or $5 for a coke or $6 for a friggin hot dog.
Sad.
04-18-2006 | 11:21 AM
#416
Banned
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,994
Likes: 0
Originally Posted by RyeCL
The Orioles let him go, he was rumored to be retiring, right now he is listed on the Free Agent list.... :twocents:
I guess Sammy and Rafael Palmeiro are radioactive toxic waste to the Major Leagues teams right now. :shakehead
at the end of the day, they made the money but didn't get the glory...
04-19-2006 | 12:13 PM
#417
Three Wheelin'
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,742
Likes: 0
From: Winter Park, FL
Does anyone subscribe to the MLB.TV service....ive been thinking about it....but i was wondering how the quality was, or how many games are blacked out, etc. Also can you watch it on two computers at the same time....like say i watch a game at work, while someone else is watching one at home?
04-28-2006 | 04:12 PM
#418
My Garage
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 13,386
Likes: 11
From: NY
04-28-2006 | 04:14 PM
#419
Senior Moderator
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 167,734
Likes: 23,026
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
But, his pin-up wife is cute.
05-01-2006 | 12:28 PM
#421
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Dougie's fucking back! 
Too bad they paid for their mistake. And I can't believe the Yankees were trying to get him to keep him from returning to the Sox.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2428645
In honor of Mr. Mirabelli's return I'm going to repost 'a day in the life of Doug Mirabelli'...
Too bad they paid for their mistake. And I can't believe the Yankees were trying to get him to keep him from returning to the Sox.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2428645
In honor of Mr. Mirabelli's return I'm going to repost 'a day in the life of Doug Mirabelli'...
Doug Mirabelli's day
9:00 shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed
9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands farts 5 more times
9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge
9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for 3 he picked up last night
9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone
9:17 takes a dump
9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower
9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee
9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror, screams out loud "Dougie is going deep tonight"
9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tank-top and gets ready to leave
9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them tomorrow
9:57 pulls onto Rt-1 with Led Zeppelin blaring, cuts three people off, gives the finger to all three people
10:15 pulls into Fenway park, tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks Nomar in
10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his families' life if there is one scratch on his truck
10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the first time today and 350th time this month, asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni
10:27 takes a sh*t, leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by
10:30 gives Nomar a dead leg and calls him a homo
10:33 stuffs Derek Lowe in a locker and pisses on him
10:37 goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Tim Wakefield
10:45 takes Pokey's headphones off and steps on them, says until he is hitting .250, no music.
10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DHing the first game "
10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling
10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this: 375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S
11:17 writes back response to fan's Letter "Hey P*ssy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for p*ssies like your boyfriend Nomar "
11:30 Walks out to batting practice with a tank-top on
11:45 after no stretching steps into the cage, ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure
11:47 takes 25 cuts, hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8
11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang Nomar for mixing in a curveball after Dougie hit one onto the pike
11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie, calls him a pickle smoker
12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives
12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar's locker
12:15 Tito posts lineup, Dougie sees he is not the DH, Calls Francona a p*ssy. Francona runs behind Schilling
12:25 Dougie gets naked and takes 25 swings in front of the clubhouse mirror, announcing "Dougie is going deep tonight "
12:45 Takes a sh*t, uses Nomar's 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his a**
1:05 game starts , Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind Schilling
1:25 Dougie announces he is ready to pinch hit in the bottom of the first for Nomar.
1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in, Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at Trenton (minor league) by 7 tonight
1:55 Dougies 4 fenway frank arrive, pays with Nomar's credit card
2:15 finishes shopping with Nomar’s credit card, maxed it out at Auto Zone
2:30 dozes off
3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and Wakefield
3:33 announces himself ready to pinch hit
4:30 sox lose game, Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'ed him, Francona runs away
5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for p*ssies
5:30 Dougie takes Batting Practice again, refuses to bunt
5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair, 11 foul, all pulled, he missed 15 pitches
6:00 Dougie see’s name in lineup, calls Fancona a p*ssy for batting him 8th. Francona hides behind Schilling
6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup
6:25 announces that Dougie is going deep tonight
6:30 dinner arrives, 2 steaks from the Capital Grille. Dougie pours steak juice into Nomar's locker, makes Derek Lowe eat the fat
6:35 Dougie gives D Lowe an atomic wedgie
7:00 tells Wakefield the show some balls tonight and don't throw anything in the dirt
7:10 scoreless first. Dougie tells Francona it must be the catching
7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep
7:27 Dougie screams at pitcher, tells him he is a p*ssy and he is taking him deep
7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall, coasts into second. Almost gets thrown out
7:31 Tells pitcher his fastball sucks. Tells shortstop and second baseman that he didn't get all of it
8:15 Dougie ropes a rocket to third, third baseman takes all day and still turns a double play on Dougie
8:16 fans boo Dougie
8:17 Dougie tells family of 4 to @#%$ off and steals some kids hot dog on way to dugout
8:18 Dougie is tired and is happy he it into a double play, he did not want to run the bases anymore
9:10 Dougie strikes out on inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs. Calls pitcher/catcher/ump all p*ssies
9:30 9th inning. Dougie is exhausted. Walks out to the mound and calls Embree a p*ssy and tells him to just bring the heat. Dougie wants to get home
9:50 Dougie showers and walks around the clubhouse naked. Tells the Globe's Dan Shaugnessy and Gordon Edes to bl*w him
9:55 Dougie shaves and leaves a goatee
10:00 Knocks Nomar off his exercise bike. Calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse
10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans. Gives the bird to everyone near him
10:25 arrives at Kowloon Chinese Restaurant on Rt 1
10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3
12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn, goes for a dip in his above ground pool
12:10 leaves tighty whitey's on his neighbor’s windshield
12:15 walks into house naked and screams "who saw my bomb I hit tonight???"
12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood
12:45 takes 35 swing s naked and orders porn
12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie
1:15 Dougie passes out on couch
9:00 shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed
9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands farts 5 more times
9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge
9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for 3 he picked up last night
9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone
9:17 takes a dump
9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower
9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee
9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror, screams out loud "Dougie is going deep tonight"
9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tank-top and gets ready to leave
9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them tomorrow
9:57 pulls onto Rt-1 with Led Zeppelin blaring, cuts three people off, gives the finger to all three people
10:15 pulls into Fenway park, tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks Nomar in
10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his families' life if there is one scratch on his truck
10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the first time today and 350th time this month, asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni
10:27 takes a sh*t, leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by
10:30 gives Nomar a dead leg and calls him a homo
10:33 stuffs Derek Lowe in a locker and pisses on him
10:37 goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Tim Wakefield
10:45 takes Pokey's headphones off and steps on them, says until he is hitting .250, no music.
10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DHing the first game "
10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling
10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this: 375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S
11:17 writes back response to fan's Letter "Hey P*ssy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for p*ssies like your boyfriend Nomar "
11:30 Walks out to batting practice with a tank-top on
11:45 after no stretching steps into the cage, ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure
11:47 takes 25 cuts, hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8
11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang Nomar for mixing in a curveball after Dougie hit one onto the pike
11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie, calls him a pickle smoker
12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives
12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar's locker
12:15 Tito posts lineup, Dougie sees he is not the DH, Calls Francona a p*ssy. Francona runs behind Schilling
12:25 Dougie gets naked and takes 25 swings in front of the clubhouse mirror, announcing "Dougie is going deep tonight "
12:45 Takes a sh*t, uses Nomar's 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his a**
1:05 game starts , Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind Schilling
1:25 Dougie announces he is ready to pinch hit in the bottom of the first for Nomar.
1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in, Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at Trenton (minor league) by 7 tonight
1:55 Dougies 4 fenway frank arrive, pays with Nomar's credit card
2:15 finishes shopping with Nomar’s credit card, maxed it out at Auto Zone
2:30 dozes off
3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and Wakefield
3:33 announces himself ready to pinch hit
4:30 sox lose game, Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'ed him, Francona runs away
5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for p*ssies
5:30 Dougie takes Batting Practice again, refuses to bunt
5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair, 11 foul, all pulled, he missed 15 pitches
6:00 Dougie see’s name in lineup, calls Fancona a p*ssy for batting him 8th. Francona hides behind Schilling
6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup
6:25 announces that Dougie is going deep tonight
6:30 dinner arrives, 2 steaks from the Capital Grille. Dougie pours steak juice into Nomar's locker, makes Derek Lowe eat the fat
6:35 Dougie gives D Lowe an atomic wedgie
7:00 tells Wakefield the show some balls tonight and don't throw anything in the dirt
7:10 scoreless first. Dougie tells Francona it must be the catching
7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep
7:27 Dougie screams at pitcher, tells him he is a p*ssy and he is taking him deep
7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall, coasts into second. Almost gets thrown out
7:31 Tells pitcher his fastball sucks. Tells shortstop and second baseman that he didn't get all of it
8:15 Dougie ropes a rocket to third, third baseman takes all day and still turns a double play on Dougie
8:16 fans boo Dougie
8:17 Dougie tells family of 4 to @#%$ off and steals some kids hot dog on way to dugout
8:18 Dougie is tired and is happy he it into a double play, he did not want to run the bases anymore
9:10 Dougie strikes out on inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs. Calls pitcher/catcher/ump all p*ssies
9:30 9th inning. Dougie is exhausted. Walks out to the mound and calls Embree a p*ssy and tells him to just bring the heat. Dougie wants to get home
9:50 Dougie showers and walks around the clubhouse naked. Tells the Globe's Dan Shaugnessy and Gordon Edes to bl*w him
9:55 Dougie shaves and leaves a goatee
10:00 Knocks Nomar off his exercise bike. Calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse
10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans. Gives the bird to everyone near him
10:25 arrives at Kowloon Chinese Restaurant on Rt 1
10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3
12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn, goes for a dip in his above ground pool
12:10 leaves tighty whitey's on his neighbor’s windshield
12:15 walks into house naked and screams "who saw my bomb I hit tonight???"
12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood
12:45 takes 35 swing s naked and orders porn
12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie
1:15 Dougie passes out on couch
05-01-2006 | 12:43 PM
#422
Thread Starter
Senior Moderator
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 35,218
Likes: 15
From: Swansea, MA
Yeah, lets just hope that Cla Meredith doesn't turn into the next Casey Fossum 
It's funny how the PR (i.e. bullshit) the Sox were throwing around about how they weren't worried about Bard and that w/ experience Bard would be fine. This is while evey jamoke on WEEI was screaming to get Dougie back...
Oh, and Fuck the Yankees...
It's funny how the PR (i.e. bullshit) the Sox were throwing around about how they weren't worried about Bard and that w/ experience Bard would be fine. This is while evey jamoke on WEEI was screaming to get Dougie back...
Oh, and Fuck the Yankees...
05-01-2006 | 12:50 PM
#423
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by GreenMonster
Yeah, lets just hope that Cla Meredith doesn't turn into the next Casey Fossum
This whole situation could turn into a disaster. I still don't understand how they let Mirabelli go in the first place.
I've never seen that post before. 
05-01-2006 | 01:48 PM
#426
Thread Starter
Senior Moderator
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 35,218
Likes: 15
From: Swansea, MA
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
This whole situation could turn into a disaster. I still don't understand how they let Mirabelli go in the first place.After all is said and done, we got Loretta for Bard, Meredith and a 6 figures of cash... Not a great deal, but when you make a mistake (by letting Dougie go), you have to pay a bit to get it straightened out.
I love the fact that Dougie's return to Fenway will overshadow Damon and Myers
05-01-2006 | 02:11 PM
#427
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by GreenMonster
It could... BUT, it doesn't seem that bad...
After all is said and done, we got Loretta for Bard, Meredith and a 6 figures of cash... Not a great deal, but when you make a mistake (by letting Dougie go), you have to pay a bit to get it straightened out.
I love the fact that Dougie's return to Fenway will overshadow Damon and Myers
After all is said and done, we got Loretta for Bard, Meredith and a 6 figures of cash... Not a great deal, but when you make a mistake (by letting Dougie go), you have to pay a bit to get it straightened out.
I love the fact that Dougie's return to Fenway will overshadow Damon and Myers
Pefect timing.
05-02-2006 | 01:25 PM
#429
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Alright - I just stopped running in circles around my office. I just had a pair of sox/yankees tickets to tonight's game given to me, completely free, with the possibility of four more coming my way depending on whether or not someone bails.
All seats are at the tip of this red arrow. second or third row off the field. I really have a semi right now.
All seats are at the tip of this red arrow. second or third row off the field. I really have a semi right now.
05-02-2006 | 02:20 PM
#430
likes it raw
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 10,133
Likes: 1
From: 42.4°N, 71.1°W
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Alright - I just stopped running in circles around my office. I just had a pair of sox/yankees tickets to tonight's game given to me, completely free, with the possibility of four more coming my way depending on whether or not someone bails.
All seats are at the tip of this red arrow. second or third row off the field. I really have a semi right now.
All seats are at the tip of this red arrow. second or third row off the field. I really have a semi right now.
05-02-2006 | 03:13 PM
#432
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Dougie's day 2, from the SoSH:
<TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%">7:02 am PDT: Awoken at home by phone call from Kevin Towers. Learns he's traded to Boston. Calls Towers a pickle smoker and tells him San Diego is for pussies anyway.
7:05: Takes 40 naked cuts in front of a mirror.
7:07: Packs a duffel bag with 10 tank tops, 5 pairs of tight jeans, and no underwear. Announces "Dougie's going commando" to no one in particular.
7:08: Kills it.
7:09: Kills it again.
7:10: Calls Wake, tells him "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Wake says it's getting dusty in here. Dougie calls him a pantywaist.
7:15: Takes cologne shower. Uses Stetson. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282840-->
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Yesterday, 10:45 AM
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199
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</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282882 -->7:21: Drives to the airport. Uses the shoulder to bypass traffic. Flips the bird to drivers who make faces. Screams "Stay nancy, San Diego!" when someone honks at him.
7:38: Parks Escalade in front of terminal. Flips keys to airport police officer.
7:40: Passes through airport security. Refuses to remove 4" belt buckle for metal detector. Offers to show TSA his security wand.
7:42: Gets three orders of chicken parm at Sbarro.
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</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282951 -->7:43: Finishes chicken parm. Belches.
7:44: Calls Nomar's house. Asks for Mr. Hamm and hangs up.
7:55: Boards First Class to Logan. Orders five Sambucas and a meatball sub. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282951-->
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</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282981 -->8:10: Plane takes off.
8:11: Dougie dials Tito on cell phone. Screams "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Tito shrieks, puts on a fourth layer of clothing.
8:12: Flight attendant asks Dougie to turn off cell phone. Dougie asks flight attendant to turn off her high beams.
8:19: Pilot turns off Fasten Seatbelts sign.
8:19:05: Dougie enters bathroom. Kills it.
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Wants to sex Dlew
Posts: 2,361
From: Philadelphia suburb
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282985 -->Part of the original
IIRC, this was day 2 of the diary.
This post has been edited by sfip: Yesterday, 11:41 AM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282985-->
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</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282994 -->11:24 am EDT: Reads back issue of Bushwackers magazine.
11:49: Opens portable DVD player, watches Nina Hartley video. Orders three Sambucas and veal parm.
12:30: Uses cell phone to order $1,295 worth of items from in-flight catalog. When flight attendant protests, asks if she'd like to sit on his Brookstone.
12:34: Receives visit from co-pilot, who demonstrates the Airfone. Dougie calls Curt Schilling on Airfone, asks if he has Prince Albert in a can. Hangs up.
12:35: Co-pilot returns to cockpit.
12:35:15: Dougie calls over flight attendant. Asks if co-pilot is a pickle smoker.
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</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283025 -->12:43: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone, asks if Lowe is hung over. Tells Lowe he shaved Trinka's pubes into the shape of a D, asks Lowe if he's ever been with a woman having revenge sex.
12:45: Calls Hazel Mae, tells her to wear something low-cut tonight. Mae faints. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283025-->
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199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283083 -->1:01: Finds Brian Giles' Amex in his wallet, calls NESN switchboard on Airfone using Giles' Amex. Asks if Tina Cervasio is a stracciamanici.
1:15: Orders Pellegrino. Flight attendant brings Perrier. Dougie pisses in cup, asks if flight attendant would like some Perrier.
1:20: Calls David Wells on Airfone using Geoff Blum's Visa. Tells Wells to get his fat fucking ass in shape or he'll get a towel party.
1:34: Calls Remy on Airfone using Dewon Brazelton's MasterCard. Tells Remy to pick out some nice Game On! girls for a postgame party tonight.
1:36: Calls the flight attendant over, asks what's the biggest sopressata she's ever eaten.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 12:36 PM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283083-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
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199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283145 -->2:03: Flight lands at O'Hare. Dougie commandeers cart for transporting disabled, drives through concourse at 25 mph. Stops at Sbarro, picks up 2 orders of chicken parm for second flight; stops at Borders, picks up Penthouse Letters.
2:12: Arrives at gate for Logan flight. Asks gate agent if she's ever heard of Josh Bard or Cla Meredith. Asks if she's ever heard of the Motherfucking 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox. Dougie smiles.
2:14: Boards into first class
2:15: Calls Ozzie Guillen on Airfone using Scott Linebrink's Diner's Club card. Thanks Ozzie for keeping AL championship seat warm, but Dougie can take it from here. Ozzie breaks into stream of Spanish curses. Dougie says, "Whatever, puta" and hangs up. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283145-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283154--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">DLew On Roids</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 01:19 PM
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199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283154 -->2:17: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone using Josh Barfield's Carte Blanche card. Asks if Derek ever got a rusty trombone from Trinka. Hangs up. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283154-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283172--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">DLew On Roids</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 01:28 PM
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199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283172 -->2:31: After spending 10 minutes trying to get Airfone to work with Rob Bowen's SpeedPass, gives up and uses his cell to call Roger Clemens. Asks if he's wearing Ninja Turtle shoelaces like a little bitch. When the flight attendant protests, Dougie screams for eggplant parm and two Sambucas.
2:32: Debbie Clemens picks up the other line. Dougie offers her a Dirty Hitler mustache.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 01:29 PM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283172-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283185--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">DLew On Roids</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 01:35 PM
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199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283185 -->2:35: Dougie's starting tonight, so time for some BP. Goes to galley, removes clothes except for cowboy hat, and takes 50 naked cuts. Makes eye contact with flight attendant. Screams, "DOUGIE'S GOING DEEP TONIGHT!" He does not have an erection. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283185-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283203--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">DLew On Roids</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 01:47 PM
<!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283203 -->2:45: Calls Chien-Ming Wang on Airfone using Chan Ho Park's JCB card. Tells him the bombs we dropped on his country are nothing compared to the bombs Dougie's going to drop on Wang tonight. Says "Wang" a few more times, laughs. Hangs up. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283203-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283249--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">DLew On Roids</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 02:34 PM
<!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283249 -->3:27: Dougie wakes up from a nap and lets fly with a 10-second parm fart. He gets Penthouse Letters from his carry-on and heads to the lavatory, grabbing a Sambuca from the beverage cart on the way. Dougie hates courtesy flushes.
3:29: Dougie wonders where the fuck this small midwestern college is anyway.
3:30: Kills it.
3:38: Opens the lav door and demands high-quality toilet paper. Screams, "DOUGIE CAN'T CATCH WITH A HEMORRHOID!"
3:41: Lights a match.
3:42: Fire alarm goes off. Dougie is nonplussed.
3:43: Alarm disabled. Pilot leaves cockpit, asks, "Who the hell do you think you are?" Dougie nonchantly replies, "I'm a stud who hits bombs."
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 02:44 PM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283249-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283393--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">reggiecleveland</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 05:08 PM
<!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
SoSH Member
Posts: 2,120
From: Canada
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283393 -->Nice <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283393-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
<!-- REPORT / UP --> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=catend colSpan=2><!-- no content --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!--Begin Msg Number 283397--><TABLE cellSpacing=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=row2 vAlign=center width="1%">DLew On Roids</TD><TD class=row2 vAlign=top width="99%"><!-- POSTED DATE DIV --> Yesterday, 05:14 PM
<!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283397 -->3:58: Uses cell phone to call Tito and confirm he's hitting cleanup. Tito shrieks, puts on fifth layer of clothing.
4:15: Plane lands.
4:16: Dougie getting impatient. Sees pic of Natalie Gulbis in the in-flight magazine. Kills it to waste time.
4:23: Gate is being swung too slowly. Screams, "DOUGIE'S GOTTA GET TO THE PARK!" Opens exit door, deploys inflatable slide. Three Boston PD cruisers are waiting to escort Dougie to the ballpark.
4:29: Takes call from Tom Menino. Calls him "Mayor Giuliani." Announces that he will hit a bomb for his paisan.
4:30: The motorcade stops at Papa Gino's. Dougie orders two meatball parm sandwiches. He leaves a $100 bill.
4:48: Dougie arrives at the ballpark. He puts Theo in a headlock and gives John Henry a noogie.
4:51: Walks into clubhouse. Announces, "TWO BOMBS TONIGHT!" Terry Francona gasps, locks office door.
4:54: Changes for BP. Does not wear a cup. You don't need a cup with balls of steel.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
7:05: Takes 40 naked cuts in front of a mirror.
7:07: Packs a duffel bag with 10 tank tops, 5 pairs of tight jeans, and no underwear. Announces "Dougie's going commando" to no one in particular.
7:08: Kills it.
7:09: Kills it again.
7:10: Calls Wake, tells him "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Wake says it's getting dusty in here. Dougie calls him a pantywaist.
7:15: Takes cologne shower. Uses Stetson. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282840-->
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Yesterday, 10:45 AM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #2
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282882 -->7:21: Drives to the airport. Uses the shoulder to bypass traffic. Flips the bird to drivers who make faces. Screams "Stay nancy, San Diego!" when someone honks at him.
7:38: Parks Escalade in front of terminal. Flips keys to airport police officer.
7:40: Passes through airport security. Refuses to remove 4" belt buckle for metal detector. Offers to show TSA his security wand.
7:42: Gets three orders of chicken parm at Sbarro.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 11:50 AM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282882-->
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Yesterday, 11:12 AM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #3
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282951 -->7:43: Finishes chicken parm. Belches.
7:44: Calls Nomar's house. Asks for Mr. Hamm and hangs up.
7:55: Boards First Class to Logan. Orders five Sambucas and a meatball sub. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282951-->
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Yesterday, 11:27 AM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #4
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282981 -->8:10: Plane takes off.
8:11: Dougie dials Tito on cell phone. Screams "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Tito shrieks, puts on a fourth layer of clothing.
8:12: Flight attendant asks Dougie to turn off cell phone. Dougie asks flight attendant to turn off her high beams.
8:19: Pilot turns off Fasten Seatbelts sign.
8:19:05: Dougie enters bathroom. Kills it.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 11:28 AM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282981-->
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Yesterday, 11:30 AM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #5
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>Wants to sex Dlew
Posts: 2,361
From: Philadelphia suburb
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282985 -->Part of the original
IIRC, this was day 2 of the diary.
This post has been edited by sfip: Yesterday, 11:41 AM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282985-->
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Yesterday, 11:33 AM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #6
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 282994 -->11:24 am EDT: Reads back issue of Bushwackers magazine.
11:49: Opens portable DVD player, watches Nina Hartley video. Orders three Sambucas and veal parm.
12:30: Uses cell phone to order $1,295 worth of items from in-flight catalog. When flight attendant protests, asks if she'd like to sit on his Brookstone.
12:34: Receives visit from co-pilot, who demonstrates the Airfone. Dougie calls Curt Schilling on Airfone, asks if he has Prince Albert in a can. Hangs up.
12:35: Co-pilot returns to cockpit.
12:35:15: Dougie calls over flight attendant. Asks if co-pilot is a pickle smoker.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 11:37 AM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_282994-->
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Yesterday, 11:46 AM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #7
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283025 -->12:43: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone, asks if Lowe is hung over. Tells Lowe he shaved Trinka's pubes into the shape of a D, asks Lowe if he's ever been with a woman having revenge sex.
12:45: Calls Hazel Mae, tells her to wear something low-cut tonight. Mae faints. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283025-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
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Yesterday, 12:22 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #8
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283083 -->1:01: Finds Brian Giles' Amex in his wallet, calls NESN switchboard on Airfone using Giles' Amex. Asks if Tina Cervasio is a stracciamanici.
1:15: Orders Pellegrino. Flight attendant brings Perrier. Dougie pisses in cup, asks if flight attendant would like some Perrier.
1:20: Calls David Wells on Airfone using Geoff Blum's Visa. Tells Wells to get his fat fucking ass in shape or he'll get a towel party.
1:34: Calls Remy on Airfone using Dewon Brazelton's MasterCard. Tells Remy to pick out some nice Game On! girls for a postgame party tonight.
1:36: Calls the flight attendant over, asks what's the biggest sopressata she's ever eaten.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 12:36 PM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283083-->
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Yesterday, 01:12 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #9
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283145 -->2:03: Flight lands at O'Hare. Dougie commandeers cart for transporting disabled, drives through concourse at 25 mph. Stops at Sbarro, picks up 2 orders of chicken parm for second flight; stops at Borders, picks up Penthouse Letters.
2:12: Arrives at gate for Logan flight. Asks gate agent if she's ever heard of Josh Bard or Cla Meredith. Asks if she's ever heard of the Motherfucking 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox. Dougie smiles.
2:14: Boards into first class
2:15: Calls Ozzie Guillen on Airfone using Scott Linebrink's Diner's Club card. Thanks Ozzie for keeping AL championship seat warm, but Dougie can take it from here. Ozzie breaks into stream of Spanish curses. Dougie says, "Whatever, puta" and hangs up. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283145-->
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Yesterday, 01:19 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #10
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283154 -->2:17: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone using Josh Barfield's Carte Blanche card. Asks if Derek ever got a rusty trombone from Trinka. Hangs up. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283154-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
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Yesterday, 01:28 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #11
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283172 -->2:31: After spending 10 minutes trying to get Airfone to work with Rob Bowen's SpeedPass, gives up and uses his cell to call Roger Clemens. Asks if he's wearing Ninja Turtle shoelaces like a little bitch. When the flight attendant protests, Dougie screams for eggplant parm and two Sambucas.
2:32: Debbie Clemens picks up the other line. Dougie offers her a Dirty Hitler mustache.
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 01:29 PM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283172-->
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Yesterday, 01:35 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #12
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283185 -->2:35: Dougie's starting tonight, so time for some BP. Goes to galley, removes clothes except for cowboy hat, and takes 50 naked cuts. Makes eye contact with flight attendant. Screams, "DOUGIE'S GOING DEEP TONIGHT!" He does not have an erection. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283185-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
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Yesterday, 01:47 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #13
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283203 -->2:45: Calls Chien-Ming Wang on Airfone using Chan Ho Park's JCB card. Tells him the bombs we dropped on his country are nothing compared to the bombs Dougie's going to drop on Wang tonight. Says "Wang" a few more times, laughs. Hangs up. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283203-->
<!-- THE POST --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=formbuttonrow noWrap>
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Yesterday, 02:34 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #14
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283249 -->3:27: Dougie wakes up from a nap and lets fly with a 10-second parm fart. He gets Penthouse Letters from his carry-on and heads to the lavatory, grabbing a Sambuca from the beverage cart on the way. Dougie hates courtesy flushes.
3:29: Dougie wonders where the fuck this small midwestern college is anyway.
3:30: Kills it.
3:38: Opens the lav door and demands high-quality toilet paper. Screams, "DOUGIE CAN'T CATCH WITH A HEMORRHOID!"
3:41: Lights a match.
3:42: Fire alarm goes off. Dougie is nonplussed.
3:43: Alarm disabled. Pilot leaves cockpit, asks, "Who the hell do you think you are?" Dougie nonchantly replies, "I'm a stud who hits bombs."
This post has been edited by DLew On Roids: Yesterday, 02:44 PM <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283249-->
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Yesterday, 05:08 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #15
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post2 vAlign=top>SoSH Member
Posts: 2,120
From: Canada
</TD><TD class=post2 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283393 -->Nice <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_283393-->
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Yesterday, 05:14 PM <!-- REPORT / DELETE / EDIT / QUOTE DIV -->
Post #16
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=post1 vAlign=top>199
Posts: 1,767
From: Justin To: Kelly
</TD><TD class=post1 vAlign=top width="100%"><!-- THE POST 283397 -->3:58: Uses cell phone to call Tito and confirm he's hitting cleanup. Tito shrieks, puts on fifth layer of clothing.
4:15: Plane lands.
4:16: Dougie getting impatient. Sees pic of Natalie Gulbis in the in-flight magazine. Kills it to waste time.
4:23: Gate is being swung too slowly. Screams, "DOUGIE'S GOTTA GET TO THE PARK!" Opens exit door, deploys inflatable slide. Three Boston PD cruisers are waiting to escort Dougie to the ballpark.
4:29: Takes call from Tom Menino. Calls him "Mayor Giuliani." Announces that he will hit a bomb for his paisan.
4:30: The motorcade stops at Papa Gino's. Dougie orders two meatball parm sandwiches. He leaves a $100 bill.
4:48: Dougie arrives at the ballpark. He puts Theo in a headlock and gives John Henry a noogie.
4:51: Walks into clubhouse. Announces, "TWO BOMBS TONIGHT!" Terry Francona gasps, locks office door.
4:54: Changes for BP. Does not wear a cup. You don't need a cup with balls of steel.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
05-02-2006 | 04:15 PM
#435
Suzuka Master
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 6,897
Likes: 1
From: Austin, TX
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Alright - I just stopped running in circles around my office. I just had a pair of sox/yankees tickets to tonight's game given to me, completely free, with the possibility of four more coming my way depending on whether or not someone bails.
All seats are at the tip of this red arrow. second or third row off the field. I really have a semi right now.
All seats are at the tip of this red arrow. second or third row off the field. I really have a semi right now.
05-02-2006 | 04:24 PM
#436
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by kurt_bradley
I hate you. Then again, you get to scream at Johnny from a few feet away being right on the Yankees dugout. Give my old teammate some love out there tonight. Last time he played the Yankees he seemed to do pretty well. Something along the lines of CG, 4H shutout at Yankee Stadium in game 6 of the 2003 Series.
I'll do all of the above.4 tickets in my pocket. Me, the old lady, my non-JC brother... and ... JC if he can sack up and leave work on time.
05-02-2006 | 04:35 PM
#438
Team Owner
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 28,853
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by GreenMonster
@ non-JC brother...Great Seats... I'll have to look for you (god I love HD)...
But only because I want to see what JC looks like
