Wife is cheating
Senior Moderator
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 31,897
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From: Austin, TX
OP truly doesn't see that what he's doing is guaranteeing failure
He thinks he's trying to keep it together, but in reality, he's just setting himself up
Even if his wife is honest and dedicated toward the family, he'll never trust her again
And when she finds out he violated her trust as a confidant partner
She'll never trust him again, etc
He thinks he's trying to keep it together, but in reality, he's just setting himself up
Even if his wife is honest and dedicated toward the family, he'll never trust her again
And when she finds out he violated her trust as a confidant partner
She'll never trust him again, etc
They didn’t know before he did. He told them what he knows now. At least that’s how I read it.
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Spying on her and tracking her movements...
Next thing you know he'll start putting hidden cameras in the bedroom
What do you know, he might actually like what he sees somehow
Do we have a literal cuck in the making?
Next thing you know he'll start putting hidden cameras in the bedroom
What do you know, he might actually like what he sees somehow
Do we have a literal cuck in the making?
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,489
Likes: 859
From: Salt Lake City, UT
There's something to say about the opinions of those that aren't involved in the situation. Which is the reason I started this thread. But there's also something to say about being close to the situation. There are things I see that you don't. I'm not ignoring the advice. I'm taking it into consideration but also not jumping the gun either. There are things I'm already doing to protect myself if things go south. But I'm not throwing in the towel just yet.
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,489
Likes: 859
From: Salt Lake City, UT
I lost my cool with her today over her spending habits. She's been racking up crap on the CC that I don't feel is really necessary. Not to say she's going out to Macy's and buying $100 shoes, but the overall habits when shopping and what not are pretty lax in my opinion. We live comfortably but have to stick to a budget with having half-a-dozen kids. She was defensive at first but then admitted she could do better and committed to trying harder. That was weird. That's the way it's been for some time now. She doesn't complain at me anymore. She doesn't nag or even ask me to help with dinner/cleaning/kids/etc. I'm frequently asking her what she needs help with. She usually tells me she's good and that I should go do what I want. I'm not a lazy-ass slacker so naturally I still spend all my time helping with those things - up until the kids go to bed after which I'll dink around in the garage or hop on the PC and game a bit.
There's only a few explanations for the change.
1. She got a good talkin' to from her father, who is very dominant and traditionally "patriarchal". He served over 30 years in the Army and raised his family as such.
2. She knows she's really screwed up and is trying to do her best to prevent me from filing. She's already asked a few times if she should expect to be served papers. And something usually comes up on at least a weekly basis where the subject of the creep comes up. She knows it's frequently on my mind.
3. She's still seeing the creepo and wants me around just to be the mule while she's out getting pounded by him.
There's only a few explanations for the change.
1. She got a good talkin' to from her father, who is very dominant and traditionally "patriarchal". He served over 30 years in the Army and raised his family as such.
2. She knows she's really screwed up and is trying to do her best to prevent me from filing. She's already asked a few times if she should expect to be served papers. And something usually comes up on at least a weekly basis where the subject of the creep comes up. She knows it's frequently on my mind.
3. She's still seeing the creepo and wants me around just to be the mule while she's out getting pounded by him.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 78,247
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some people have a hard time with a break up with a toxic girlfriend after a few months.
the guy has 6 kids with her and has been through a lot with her. It ain't that easy or cut and dry.
i know he came on here looking for opinions and suggestions but he's kept a pretty cool head
with us suggesting he's okay with his kids getting molested or his wife screwing another guy. shit.
as long as he keeps that guy away from his kids...he's done his job. at this point, the guy can have
the wife because even if it's not him, it'll be someone else down the line.
maybe she feels guilty so she's letting you off the hook lately...
you're going to drive yourself crazy. don't let her rack up the debt or spend all your money all of a sudden
as that might be a tactical move. For all you know she is planning to strike first and has already spoken to an attorney
and painted a very different picture of you. So controlling (spending and spying), so neglectful (gaming)...the truth can
be spun many ways...
the guy has 6 kids with her and has been through a lot with her. It ain't that easy or cut and dry.
i know he came on here looking for opinions and suggestions but he's kept a pretty cool head
with us suggesting he's okay with his kids getting molested or his wife screwing another guy. shit.
as long as he keeps that guy away from his kids...he's done his job. at this point, the guy can have
the wife because even if it's not him, it'll be someone else down the line.
maybe she feels guilty so she's letting you off the hook lately...
you're going to drive yourself crazy. don't let her rack up the debt or spend all your money all of a sudden
as that might be a tactical move. For all you know she is planning to strike first and has already spoken to an attorney
and painted a very different picture of you. So controlling (spending and spying), so neglectful (gaming)...the truth can
be spun many ways...
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
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From: Waffles, BU
Race Director
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From: MAGA country
But...
Joined: Sep 2008
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even if I had them, I would be much too scared to post any pics of the pink poodle for fear of retaliation. 100% he has pics of the first time I sucked a dick.
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,973
Likes: 7,362
From: Seattle, WA
Alright, alright. So I took some action. I called up the creeps parole officer and informed him of the situation. I just told him that know for absolute certain that he's seen my kids. The muddy part is whether or not I'd want to get the kids involved as far as testifying or even talking to a cop or parole officer. I may have neglected to mention that the wifey and I sat down with them a few weeks back and explained why they can't visit him anymore. It was actually the wife's idea. I didn't divulge to them anything about the wife. We only talked about how it was dishonest to have hidden it from me and how much trouble he could get into if someone were to find out. Naturally, the wife and two older boys think he's completely innocent. I have no proof he's guilty so there's no way I'm going to be able to convince them otherwise. I don't even know for myself. I'd bet money he is, but I have no proof. Anyway, that's another matter. He's convicted and that's enough.
I've been working really hard trying to find constructive suggestions given you are deciding to remain together. But this is the one truth right here:
You are not re-building a relationship that will last with these tactics. You are building something that is doomed to fail. Selfishness and deception are the cancers that will end all relationships. It's not if. Its when.
I really think you need to consider getting rid of all secrets, all deception, and get counseling so you stay in a state of open and honest communication. Everything you do behind her back will come back. Absolutely guaranteed.
Safety Car
Joined: Feb 2009
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2. She knows she's really screwed up and is trying to do her best to prevent me from filing. She's already asked a few times if she should expect to be served papers. And something usually comes up on at least a weekly basis where the subject of the creep comes up. She knows it's frequently on my mind.
3. She's still seeing the creepo and wants me around just to be the mule while she's out getting pounded by him.
3. She's still seeing the creepo and wants me around just to be the mule while she's out getting pounded by him.
"Honey are you going to divorce me? No? Okay I'll be at his house if you need anything!"
what. the first time?
The Third Ball
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 50,493
Likes: 5,869
From: Los Angeles, Ca
I get it. And I feel for the kids as they are the victims in all of this. But I dont care if its cool or PC. No one needs 6 fucking kids. We live in an over populated planet that we, the humans, are destroying. I say the same shit about the orthodox Jews going nuts having 6+ kids because its a "mitzvah" to repopulate the planet with Jews ever since the holocaust. Or to christians who dont believe in birth control because of some BS in the bible.
Whatever the excuse...having kids is selfish in general...having that many or more...just makes you assholes.
/rant
Whatever the excuse...having kids is selfish in general...having that many or more...just makes you assholes.
/rant
Null and proud of it
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 10,385
Likes: 904
From: Metairie, LA
This thread is :exlpode:
OP has nerves of steal and up for the challenge not for the faint of heart.
I'm telling you, I couldn't deal with this...
Whatever happens, I hope it's for the best.
OP has nerves of steal and up for the challenge not for the faint of heart.
I'm telling you, I couldn't deal with this...
Whatever happens, I hope it's for the best.
Instructor
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 157
Likes: 32
It's really sad that you can't see your delusion. You may be able to salvage your marriage, but not this way. Your wife already doesn't respect you. You're just showing your weakness, ability to be manipulated, and propensity to forgive betrayal. You need to stomp all of the shenanigans out. Report the guy and be bold. Air out all the dirty laundry. Your wife doesn't care about your relationship, she's scared of being exposed and losing her comforts. She has no regard for you. You can't even look at her phone still.
Be a man of respect. Do what's right and face all the consequences head on. The only thing you did wrong was not be an appropriate gatekeeper to your family. Don't associate with scumbags. Separate yourself from anyone who isn't living a wholesome life and make no excuse for doing so. That includes people in the church who aren't living honestly.
If your wife truly loves you, after all is said and done, she'll beg for your forgiveness. After some time to clear your head, whether you forgive her or not will be on your terms. Trying to keep your house together is the easy and selfish choice. Being righteous is the difficult path, but the only way to rectify things and bring order back. Have some self-respect. Be someone your kids will respect at least.
Be a man of respect. Do what's right and face all the consequences head on. The only thing you did wrong was not be an appropriate gatekeeper to your family. Don't associate with scumbags. Separate yourself from anyone who isn't living a wholesome life and make no excuse for doing so. That includes people in the church who aren't living honestly.
If your wife truly loves you, after all is said and done, she'll beg for your forgiveness. After some time to clear your head, whether you forgive her or not will be on your terms. Trying to keep your house together is the easy and selfish choice. Being righteous is the difficult path, but the only way to rectify things and bring order back. Have some self-respect. Be someone your kids will respect at least.
GEEZER
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,444
Likes: 2,227
From: Dunedin, Fla.
I get it. And I feel for the kids as they are the victims in all of this. But I dont care if its cool or PC. No one needs 6 fucking kids. We live in an over populated planet that we, the humans, are destroying. I say the same shit about the orthodox Jews going nuts having 6+ kids because its a "mitzvah" to repopulate the planet with Jews ever since the holocaust. Or to christians who dont believe in birth control because of some BS in the bible.
Whatever the excuse...having kids is selfish in general...having that many or more...just makes you assholes.
/rant
Whatever the excuse...having kids is selfish in general...having that many or more...just makes you assholes.
/rant
clown car
noun
noun
- a small, colorful vehicle used in a circus act, typically in stunts in which parts fall off or a large number of clowns emerge from inside.
"acrobatic stunts in miniature clown cars"
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 88,888
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From: Waffles, BU
The planet sucks because the people running the shit show neglect basic science and consideration.
It doesn't suck because it's overpopulated and people are having a shit ton of kids.
Population growth rate has actually been decreasing across the globe.
Europe is actually negative.
That being said.. the real assholes are the rich..
CO2 emissions, destruction of natural resources, extinction of animals.. mostly by the rich.
The top 10% of wealthy (hold 85% of all wealth) do more damage to the earth than the remaining 90%.
If you can't provide for a proper education for your kids so they are a value to society.. well.. you're an asshole.
But having a grip load of kids that you can properly provide for is not putting us on the brink.
It just annoys you.
OP is an asshole
But not for having a bunch of kids
You're not helping anyone
Read Taco's book.. A pussy's guide to being
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Ex-OEM King
Joined: Dec 2013
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From: Minnesnowta
I lost my cool with her today over her spending habits. She's been racking up crap on the CC that I don't feel is really necessary. Not to say she's going out to Macy's and buying $100 shoes, but the overall habits when shopping and what not are pretty lax in my opinion. We live comfortably but have to stick to a budget with having half-a-dozen kids. She was defensive at first but then admitted she could do better and committed to trying harder. That was weird. That's the way it's been for some time now. She doesn't complain at me anymore. She doesn't nag or even ask me to help with dinner/cleaning/kids/etc. I'm frequently asking her what she needs help with. She usually tells me she's good and that I should go do what I want. I'm not a lazy-ass slacker so naturally I still spend all my time helping with those things - up until the kids go to bed after which I'll dink around in the garage or hop on the PC and game a bit.
There's only a few explanations for the change.
1. She got a good talkin' to from her father, who is very dominant and traditionally "patriarchal". He served over 30 years in the Army and raised his family as such.
2. She knows she's really screwed up and is trying to do her best to prevent me from filing. She's already asked a few times if she should expect to be served papers. And something usually comes up on at least a weekly basis where the subject of the creep comes up. She knows it's frequently on my mind.
3. She's still seeing the creepo and wants me around just to be the mule while she's out getting pounded by him.
There's only a few explanations for the change.
1. She got a good talkin' to from her father, who is very dominant and traditionally "patriarchal". He served over 30 years in the Army and raised his family as such.
2. She knows she's really screwed up and is trying to do her best to prevent me from filing. She's already asked a few times if she should expect to be served papers. And something usually comes up on at least a weekly basis where the subject of the creep comes up. She knows it's frequently on my mind.
3. She's still seeing the creepo and wants me around just to be the mule while she's out getting pounded by him.
Hope this all works out though.