SakiGT

Someone who's on meds? Which he's aware of?

If shes a crazy bitch you need to accomodate this to an extent. She needs to get back on her meds, and you cant expect her to act normal until she does.

And about the jewelry being a non issue.

moomaster_99

That's not the point.....**putting cape on tight**

moomaster_99

I wont even say it.....

moomaster_99

Actually what Water-S needs to do is punch that bitch in the neck.....choke her...and then take his daughter and tell that bitch to never come around again...

s_jack

Always Dirty

JC made one but it's on my work PC.

saiko_cl_duck

minched, that's beautiful. Come on AD, you gotta post that.

M TYPE X

I think you're in a state of denial.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/ohio/1935-re-ohio-2.html

NOTE: The city-data site DOES NOT have any data on per-capita wife jewelry collections. But, if they did, it would be right up there with unemployment statistics and aggrevated assaults ... and tractor ownership rates!
'More bling: more blight'

... not that Water-S really lives in a 'city.'
It's more like a country road with "hot sluts" !!

I feel bad for beating on Ohio when it's down.

^^ should have been in red text!

ric

Right on target.

A bipolar who is non-compliant is no long-term solution to being a wife and a mom. Untreated bipolarity is extremely risky, it creates a permanent state of instability in the household, and in its extremes, can result in a depression of suicidal proportions and/or a manic stage that can rack up more credit card debt than Dubya running a war. Bi-polars, whilst not on meds, are entirely egocentric, self-focused and self-absorbed, unaware of the chaos they create, and unrepentant when their behavior is presented to them. THere is really no room for negotiation with this condition.

The deal needs to be very straightforward; she is either medically compliant and stays that way, or you walk, and you walk taking the kid for the kid's sake. No inbetween ground, no vacillation, no strum un drang with the inlaws, who sound like a dysfunctional basket case of crazed goodies, just the ultimatum with a very good lawyer in tow. Then, given that she probably will not choose medical compliance, deliver on the ultimatum and walk. Carefully presented, her untreated mental illness makes her an unfit mother. Period.

ric

Damn. Shoulda read the entire thread. Right now, you have far more important issues at hand than a damn minivan or her bling. It's the kid, dammit. Essentially, what has happened is that your mentally ill wife has hijacked your kid. Take the money you would have spent on bling and vans and hire a damn good lawyer, do the stand-up thing and build a life around being a single dad for now. Your daughter's emotional and possibly physical health are at risk with a non-compliant bipolar mom. Bipolarity rarely improves with age, and her symptomology is illustrating itself early in her life; her non-compliant behavior will only grow worse over time. Cut your losses, secure the future of your kid, and grow a set of brass ones. If it were just you, I'd just suggest you cut your losses, sell the ring and start dating again, but the two of you have a precious kid involved, and that kid should be your central concern. To that end, preserve your own fiscal security as best you can, and dissociate yourself from her finances as soon as you functoinally can, including dismantling joint accounts, severing joint credit cards, etc. Bi-polars in manic stages tend to be shoppers on a grand scale, and have little perspective about the implications of buying two new cars a day......

In the current legal environment, a carefully presented case for unfitness of the mom will lead to your obtaining custody. You need an attorney who understands he information and is fully willing to clobber her in court with it.

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

ric, great post.

Unfortunately water-s lost you at "right on target"

ric

I know

I did avoid this thread for a very long time, but I was sucked in, with the power of Water-s's stream of consciousness thinking. It is a marvel to behold.

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

Cliff notes:

Unless your wife is going to take her meds every day for the rest of her life, pack up your shit, grab the kid and go.

ric

Thank you

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

Water-S

i talked with her last night at work during my lunch break on my cell phone. she said "she will go with me ot marriage couselling this Saturday." plus she brings Sierra home to me this weekend. which I'm really excited about. She's dirt poor. she has like 10 bucks in her checking account. she's crying to me she doesn't have any money. I'm not giving her any money. The thing is I've been working 50 hours a week trying to take care of her and Sierra and now she moved out I'm not giving her cash.
she claims I'm being "unfair." I said " move back home if you #1. take your meds #2. do what's expected of you. then you won't have to raise hell about money."
she kept on claiming I make double what she does as a "first year teacher." that I should pay for her gas in her car and all this other shit. I'm like you're the one that moved out. So either deal with it or don't do it.

She's suppose to call Friday early because Friday at work sucks because we have a ISO audit plus Inventory.

SakiGT

She forgot to read independent woman rule #1: Do not depend on your man for money.

No offense to you, Water-S, but if she was financially stable she could continue doing what "she thought was right." Luckily for the kid, she does not have that ability.

Sorry. Her complaining about not having money struck a cord with me.

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

Sounds like she's more interested in your money that you. Sounds like marriage counseling is the last resort.

SpeedyV6

In other words Saki agrees that once she comes home you need to lay the smack down. Maybe that will bring her to her senses.

zeroday

independant woman rule #2: independant women almost invariably end up as old maids with only cats to talk to.

SpeedyV6

Actually Water-S' predicament sounds like a typical country music song: She took his money, took his kid, and left him with nothing but a 6 year old Honda Odyssey and a dirty pile of dishes.

1killercls

I say fuck it all and go on jerry springer.

SakiGT

Cats > Annoying man (redundant, I know) with ED.

Look. Im not saying you cant fall in love, but I think relying on anyone for all of your needs whether it be emotionally, physically, or monetarily (did I spell that right?) isnt a good idea. They may throw it back at you at a later date...as exampled in this thread, actually.

CKcentral

i hate country

Water-S

not really I have the house, the Accord, and 1/2 the farm(i get the other 1/2 of the farm when dad passes away which I hope awhile), plus my 4-wheeler, snowmobile and farm machinery.

Water-S

that's all we listen to at work
but what do you expect I work at Botkins Feed and Grain.

moomaster_99

She's a fucking teacher too!?!?! WTF!?!! I will never move to Ohio now....

The only thing you should do is buy stuff for the baby and drop it off at her mom's house...diapers, food, formula, some clothes, toys...etc.

Or you can just make the case that she is mentally unstable and unable to support herself financially much less a child.

Marriage counseling only works if both people want to make it work. She doesnt want to take her meds, which might solve a lot of your problems.....ie, she is not taking the first step to resolve the problem and marriage counseling aint gonna do shit.

SakiGT

Water-S

Yep, she's a first year "out" teacher.

moomaster_99

This is why the American educational system is the worst.

Water-S

she said that she went to one of the best colleges for early childhood education.
she went to Otterbein College.(it's in Westerville,Oh) suburb of Columbus. it's a nice college just expensive as hell. it was like 23 or 25 grand a year.

moomaster_99

ECE is simple....spending 25k on it is stupid. Unless she got a PhD.....a degree in ECE from anywhere is gonna be almost the same. Maybe you shouldnt tell us anymore about her......the outlook keeps getting worse.

fdl

put on one of these and take care of business. Are you a man or what?

ric

So her brief fling of independence has scared the shit out of her. She will be compliant (maybe) and sounds as if she is going to see a marriage counselor only to appease you.

I'd still: separate your finances from hers
Stop buying her bling and invest in an attorney
MONITOR her medical compliance.

This should be stiffer than "three times/you're out". This is a one-shot, and then it's curtains. Last thing you want is a kid growing up in a household filled with angst about whether mommy is here/there/grandma/nuthouse.

Always Dirty

Here it is.

fdl

fdl

although in reality her head is about 5 times the size of that bag.

Hojo061782

A certain level of reliance in marriage is necessary for it to work. But it's definitely true that a clingy, complete emotional dependance is not a good thing and will result in resentment down the road.

It sounds like Water's wife just wants a sugar daddy to support her even when she's not treating her bipolar disorder. Water, you need to be unequivocal about this situation: if she's not going to treat her disorder, you've got to take your daughter and leave. Not only will her untreated bipolarity adversly affect your daughter, but you as well. And as Ric said, you can't "fix" someone who's bipolar; they need to want treatment, and more than that recognize the importance of treatment to ensure their own stability and the stability of the family.

Always Dirty

Just out of curiosity, water, you made a comment on the last page about how you want her to "do what's expected of [her]" - what exactly does this include?

saiko_cl_duck

AD, that just made my fawking day

fixed