I know you guys probably don't care but I just need a place to vent.
So I work second shift. and I've been working like 50 hour weeks lately. My wife a teacher and she doesn't work as many hours as I do (which is fine). However during the day I watch our daughter and at night she watches her. well today I got up early(after working late at work) to run a few small errands like take recycleables to recycling center, and cash some checks. She got up with me at 8 am. I asked "Look could you please unload and reaload the dishwasher." she was sitting on the sofa watching our daughter. She said "Yeah, No problem." So I go and do my errands out in the community. I come home about noon. she hasn't moved. nothing done. keep in mind I do the majority of the housework(laundry,80-90 percent of the time I do the dishwasher, cleaning of the house,cooking) I just went off. I said "How hard is it to take dishes and put them in the fricken cupboard and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher."
She said "why are you yelling at me." I said "because you didn't complete a easy task I asked you to."
she said "but I was watching Sierra(our daughter)."
I said "yeah can't you watch her and unload and reload the dishwasher."
she said " I don't think so."
I said "trust me you can I 've done it myself."
she said "whatever, I'm going to my mom's for a week with Sierra."
I said "find do what you gotta do."

On top of that she's bi-polar and hadn't taken her medication. (which I picked up at the pharmacy this week) and she's bitching because I yelled at her because she can't complete jobs.

 

that sucks dude. i can't make a relationship work for shit so i have no words of wisdom here. good luck.

 

oh boy, a new Water-S post

Man, my last girlfriend was bi-polar and wouldnt take her meds. That's why she's my EX-girlfriend. So what, let her vent and run off. Sounds like she's either being lazy or you're a little anal. Either way, cool off. If possible, take some time off and relax, you sound a little high strung.

 

You need to sleep, and she needs her meds. If she hasn't taken them it's not too wise to leave her with your daughter for a week.

 

the reason I haven't been sleeping a lot is cause they've been telling me at the end of my shift "Hey can you stay for a couple more hours, Derek we need to get this out." which my paychecks are great cause I'm hourly. However on saturdays are my "Chore day." basically anything around the house that needs done or fixed I try to do. but she just wants to sit on the sofa.

 

I would slap her around the trailer a bit. But that's just me.

 

I can see it now, Water-S on the next episode of the local news

 

I wouldn't hit or slap her around.(I don't hit women). I might chew her ass and make her like an idiot.
-The sad part about this Is in college because I graduated in business administration(fancy way of saying Business Management) the college in displinary and supervision class taugh us how to taught us how to chew an employee's butt but not be not hit or anything like assult.

 

I am speechless.

 

Relax. If you plan on making this relationship work you cant keep a mental count of who works harder than the other.

Or just get a dog like I told you to months ago

 

Yes that's a tuff one water....sounds like you do more than your fair share of house hold work. But yet your wife can't complete a simple task and use your daughter as an excuse as to why she can't do it.....


My belief is she has a responsibly to take her meds as if she does not erratic decisions are made like she leaving for a week, YOU even made the effort to get them for her, she don't bother to take them.

My advice is simple, stand your ground and make her see that what she is doing is not helping her and your relationship, and could possibly make tensions worse between you guys.

Its her thats got to make the changes not you. In the cases i've seen Bi-polar woman never do, and always find some excuse as to how they don't blame themselfs, but blame everyone else.


Goodluck......

 

she does make excuses why some didn't get done or why she didn't do. it.
now update #1: tonight night one: tonight was hard usually on Saturday nights I give my little 10 month old daughter a bath because during the week I'm working this time of night. So I thought I'd call her to see how Sierra was doing. she refused to answer the phone. So I decided hey maybe I'll go out to dinner and might help me forget about it. I saw a little girl similar or a little older than Sierra. She was smileing and giggling like Sierra does. I started crying. Tonight been hard. I want her back but I just want her to pull her own weight.

 

Well, the only thing I would suggest is to tone it down with her. But what you must do is give her her meds everyday. Just get the meds with a glass of water, be cheerful and watch her take it. With her condition, it is important that she keeps on her med but what happens (as I understand it) is while on the meds, they start feeling better and they think they can then go off the meds. If she is on the meds, maybe things will get better.

I feel for you...

 

sounds rough dude, sorry. sounds like you need to get her doing more work around the house. you work a lot more than her, and yet you are stuck doing that stuff, especially laundry. good luck man, hopefully everything works out. pretty ridiculous how she just left though

 

get her on her meds, and get to some couples conseling.

 

 

I've been with many women in similar relationships and from what I've learned in all that time is since the relationships exists so will issues. Even the best of them only cover things up better...but......their still there.

My live in girlfriend (8-years) is also a teacher and they tend to want to be in control of the relationship the same way they are in control of their classroom. Bugs the hell out of me too.

 

Tough break Water. I agree with :killer:. Pimpslap her around a little and tell her if she doesn't shape up you'll kick her ass to the curb.

 

:ibdivorceandcustodybattle:

 

i would say that too, except there are kids involved, which sucks. but logically you might have a shot at getting the kids, cuz your wife sounds psycho. the woman usually gets em though if something happens. prenup?

 

I hate my mother in law she such a idiot. I call her up asking to talk to my wife. she won't let me. I ask her to talk to my daughter she won't let me. I said then I'm picking up my daughter. she said "fine we'll call the cops on you." so I didn't cause I didn't feel like sitting in jail and have the police's bull shit. However I got her running scared. I paid for my wife's plates on her car. (She didn't pay a dime on it) even though it's in her name I said, fine you do that. I'm gonna pull the tags on that car. she hung up on me. even though I'm not gonna pull the tags.
her mom a giant cunt.

 

then her mom when my wife and I are argueing said well you Derek don't want to come to my family function much.
which is true because.
-One dude there a ex child molestor(he's been let of jail)
-the one chick is a "god freak" and for the entire time is acting like a pastor.(which I go to church on Sundays which I don't mind 2 hours of being at church but 6 hours is B.S.)
-The other chick an ex stripper who has let her self go. she's like the town whore. her husand is a harley riding redneck.
she wonders why I only want to stay at these functions for maybe 2 hours.
here I am a college educated with 3 Degrees and and some these losers didn't graduate high school.

 

^ Sounds like a pretty dysfunctional family... in laws can be a pain in the ass, sorry to hear all that.

I pretty much live in with my girlfriend (I'm still a senior in college) and afterwards her parents offered to have me stay at their house. We all get along so I doubt it'll be that bad. But I get along with her due to the fact that I end up cooking and cleaning all the time...

 

Water -

Only think I can say at this stage is you need to take control of the whole situation, forget about the mother in law...


Seems to me you miss your daugther more than you wife, based on what you have said again seems like your wife don't seem to be mentally 100% all there, and at the end of the day its only hurting you...

Like Sarlacc said, get her on her meds, and get to some couples conseling...If she don't personally i'd start looking at Divorce... Why go thru you life like this, especially @ 24, you should be having fun.

Its clear your doing your part, you wife can't be bothered......

 

She can't take care of herself, much less your daughter. I don't know the particulars here, but for you to have married and had a kid with her knowing that this could (and probably would) happen, the cooch must have been good.

In all seriousness, if I were in your shoes at this point, I'd be building up a case for myself in court as to why your wife should not have primary custody of your daughter. I hate to pee on the hopeful parade, but be realistic - and, ruthless. Get her prescription refill records for the last x months showing that she hasn't been taking her meds. Get witnesses to her behavior, document anything and everything you can related to her unstable behavior and why that isn't a good thing for a kid.

In the best case scenario, your wife shapes up and you can just throw away everything I just said. But, I'm a realist. Behaviors don't change. You do everything and she just sits around and plays the victim.

I'd start collecting legal ammunition and kick her to the curb. From what you've said in this thread alone, I'd call this marriage an all around losing proposition for you, and more importantly, your daughter. Good luck.

Executive summary: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

edit: and before anyone says I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, I have a friend in this situation (except it's her mother and sister who keep fucking things up) and she has to continually bail them out at her own legal and financial peril. Bi polar is not to be screwed around with - it will really mess up someone's life unless the patient is religious about taking their meds - which seems to be pretty rare.

 

Derek, I'm moving out of Michigan, you can have whatever job here that's waiting for me that I ain't taking.

Ohio: the official state of child molesters, strippers, god freaks, and cowfuckers.
That's right, you heard the last one.

I see it all the time in Ohio, women go into the fields and play with the farm animals.
And then they come back home, and the menfolk, well, they don't have to listen to them, they have had their pleasure already for the day.

I say, you take the kid and hit I-75 NORTH.

Normally I wouldn't condone this, but you DO have a business degree, and I'm sure you'll get rid of your Ohio plates soon enough after moving in.

Good luck!

P.S. Shoot those damn cows, they are stealing your bipolar women.
P.S.S. Be careful with the god-freak cows, they have something that looks like a Branch Davidian complex near like Bucyrus or something. They'll hole up in there and as long as Janet Reno or Bob Taft don't lay siege, no one will get hurt. That's what they say at least.
You ain't getting no milk, man!!! and they're stealing your milk from you, if you know what I mean.

P.S.S.S. Yes, I have been working on cow jokes all day, but this time, it ain't funny.

:ibthecowsoverruntheentirestateofOhioandit'stoolat e:

... whew, that felt better. Michigan people look at me crazy with all my year's worth of Ohio stories.
LET THEM TRY LIVING IN AKRON FOR A YEAR AND SEE IF THEY LIKE IT!

Maybe they want anal sex with cows You never know, especially the Michigan Militia. They're up for anything.

 

The one problem with raising kids in Michigan is that they might want to grow up "to be like Eminem." That's some scary shit. That's why you want to be in Grand Rapids with peacefrog.
He can show you all the churches, and how to get a 'high paying' job at Amway.

 

I talked with my best buddy which I've known for 20 years. I was his best man at his wedding and we've been through a lot together.(both good times and bad). he's practically a brother. He's married but doesn't have a kid. he's a year older than me. he told me "Look Derek, it happens with me and Laura all the time."(he's a farmer) "I'll come in from the fields and something isn't done or she didn't get something after I asked her to. I've learned not to raise hell with her. just go out into the barn turn on the stereo REAL LOUD and start yelling." the thing is IMO i think he's whipped. because if you ask someone nicely to do a small duty or a reasonable duty. they should do it. and in my opinion Brad(my best buddy) is just building up to blow up at his wife. he said he goes out and welds or strightens metal in the barn. my thing is he's not taking care of the issue. he said "you gotta learn in marriage even when she's wrong she's right man." but I disagree with that too. I don't care if you're man,woman or child. if your wrong your wrong. she can't win all the time otherwise she's gonna take advantage of you.

My buddy wife work for Lear(they make carpet floors for like Ford,and GM cars) they make "okay" money with him farming too. but I know if his wife just out of the blue said "Oh honey I just closed on a 1/2 million dollar home." and never said a word to him before that or took him house shopping or anything like that, he wouldn't go off. he'd probably go out to the barn for a little while but that's about it.

 

Ohio has nothing on Texas, Florida, or California when it comes to strippers.

 

Farming?! Lear?! Half a million dollar home?!?! No no no no no, you don't make that much money from hacking the damn ground and working for a nearly-defunct US auto supplier!!! Plus, it's not like West Ohio housing prices are going up anytime soon. Throwing money down the drain like it grows in teh cowpatches.

I swear, I'm not going to have to do anything, the Buckeyes are gonna self-destruct themselves. Hey, have another beer, it's not like drunk driving hurt anyone. When you think of all the stories about guys driving the wrong way down the intar-state, you think, oh man that guy has absolutely no idea of how to solve his problems without hurting himself.

It sounds like there are a lot of family problems involved. I was gonna say, Derek, listen to your friends, but they're whipped too.
Shaking my head like this hurts baaad.

Oh, and SpeedyV6, if you're ever looked at webpages of Ohio escorts and strippers ... ouch my eyes STILL hurt.

 

If the home included a farm of several hundred acres $500K is not that much.

 

yeah after I quit at Honda my wife wasn't happy. becuase where I'm working at IT'S WELLLLLLLLLL known in the county that the high school I have to go past at for my new job that the girls are "hot sluts." my wife knows #1. my name means a lot in the county. (we got a road named after my family DeWeese Road) #2. most people know I'm gonna get the farm after my dad dies so that means big $$s.#3. I'm a firefighter and know a lot of cops so I can get friends or my wife out of some trouble. #4. I'm a decent looking guy.
she told me I swear If i hear of you doing anything with these high school chicks that you go by their school when they get off from school your a dead man walking.

 

Divorce her before your old man passes and leaves you the farm.

 

guys come from 30-40 mile radius of the school and cruise past the high school and honk when school letting out. it's getting worst since it's getting to be spring and outfits are getting less and less.

 

I haven't told her this but once dad dies I'm worth over 2 million in ground and barns. that doesn't include machinery. I could get probably another million out of machinery. but that's pre tax dollars. the damn goverment gotta get their hands on it.

 

dad was cool when I graduated college. because he never went to college and made me a deal if I graduated college . He always wanted my sister and myself to go to college and graduated which both of us did. she's a certified pharmist. He said" Look son, If you graduate college after I die you can the farm and all the machinery. which he has a SHITLOAD of money tied up in machinery.

 

I have to agree with gpump and start building a case against her. Hopefully, if you decide to go that route, you can get your daughter and not have to pay the crazy woman anything. sounds like you won't have problems supporting both of you, especially if you ditch the wife. of course you would like your daughter to have a mom, but not if she isn't all there. I really feel bad for ya man, and wish there was an easier solution. But right now you gotta do whats best for you and your daughter

 

If you really do not see this marriage going anywhere, then I would seriously think the D word. I know it is hard with having a kid. If you dad leaves you the farm etal, she can nail to the wall in D Court....

I got so lucky when my wife divorced me. We sat down amicably and she conceded alot to me. Gave me my 98 Harley off the table, let me off easy with the my retirement and let me keep the house (market value less 6% I would pay if I sold the house later).

 

i honestly don't think either one of us wants a divorce. Her mom is nuts. her family nuts. I listed what her family like in a post above. Her mom always has to be in our business. like by not letting me talk to her. I've told Amy to talk to her. she claim she has. It does no good. I've tried to talk to her it does no good. she claim it's cause she cares about her daughter. but she's SOOOOOO good at giving advice why did she get a divorce.
her family a bunch of hillbillies. for example her mom wants me to stay at their house for 6-7 hours for christmas or thanksgiving and I only want to stay 2-3 hours she bitched at me.
keep in mind I spent 1/2 tank of gas going to and coming home to her house.
I want to move out of the state so I can get her away from her damn mom and family but I just got a job I liked and plus her mom would have a fit about that.
Her mom pump her full of all this shit that i'm a useless sack of crap. and why are you still with him. blah blah. her mom says she loves me but I don't believe a damn word she says.
She acts like she's grandma of the year. because she gets shit for Sierra at Wal-Mart she's like yeah that shirt for Sierra cost 10 bucks. I almost said "whoop-de-doo" ma'am you make 10 bucks an hour answer phones in a call center.My sister who a pharmist dresses her daughter in Gucci and Baby gap shit. I make a hell of lot more money than you do and you're 50.

 

Let me add one little suggestion...yelling because the dishwasher didnt get emptied is stupid...Using your "training" to chew her out is stupid.

Your family is your family, and work is work. seperate the two.

Two, try a little yes yelling...really frustrating, sure. Want to yell, sure. But how abou tinstead saying "OK, well I am here now to watch Sierra, could you please do the dishes?"

I know she isn't on her meds, and sounds lazy as hell...but you losing your cool doesn't help anything.