so confused, gf had drunken sex (pg. 7 Update)
#162
The Creator
It's really tough to say, either way, from our perspective because were hearing only one side of the story second hand.
Assuming though, for a minute, that this 1StG is reciting her stor(y?)(ies?) first hand then I would be inclined to believe that this is not a case of rape.
Questions:
1. What is it? Did she "make him" put a condom on, or, did she "notice" he had a condom on?
2. Her friends sound like dumb bitches, but are they trully so bad that they would, basically, call her a liar if she claims rape?
3. Why won't she take this to the authorities? She "just wants it to go away" or "nothing will come of it" sound like bad excuses to me. Even if there is no case, the fact that she would make a signed statement to the police would be enough for me to believe her... who wants to perjure themselves?
4. Have you discussed this subject with her in front of her friends? Have you brought it up to her friends? Are the statements you've posted from her friends theirs first hand or have you heard them through her?
I would simply find it impossible to believe her story of rape if she isn't willing to make that claim publically in your presence. I know, I'm insensitive.
I've known girls who have trully been raped, and I've no many who have "claimed" rape extremely casually.
I was once accused of rape. Things got hot and heavy with a girl, not a single "No", or "I don't think...", or any sign that she was not interested. Plenty of foreplay, your typical hook-up... not even any alchohol involved. Halfway through however, she got up and walked away. I didn't know what to think, so I just went back with my friends and said nothing. Later that night though I'd found out she had said I raped her! I'm not interested in, in need of, nor capable of rape. I have no idea why the girl would have made those claims, or why she did what she did... to this day. Luckily for me, she didn't take her bullshit to the police.
Similarly, I was once talking to a girl who claimed that, years earlier, my friend "raped" her. Little did she remember though, I was there the night in question. It didn't look or sound like rape to me. Until the next morning when she felt stupid because she realized my friend was dating someone else at the time...
I have a million similar stories. Girls, surprisingly often, throw the word rape around as if it's nothing more then an easy way to clean the egg off their face after a one night stand.
Even more disgusting, being "raped" seems to carry little baggage in some high school and college circles. If a girl claims "rape" the whole situation is often forgotten about. The term rape has been diluted by these supposed "victims" into meaning little more then "I was too drunk to remember" (after two Coors Lights) or "I didn't know he had a girlfriend!".
It's really a shame because, despite claims by some females here, the reason "rape" claims are looked upon with such doubt is because more often then not the girl IS making it up. Unfortunately.
I know, the girls here who feel they have been raped will call me an asshole for feeling that way. But like they claim, "you have no idea". Try being on the wrong side of a false rape claim.
Anyway, moral of the story is, from what we know it does not sound like a case of rape. It sounds like a stupid drunken mistake that she feels incredibly dirty and guilty for.
If it was indeed rape, at this point, she should go to the police. Especially if, as you made it sound, she already told her friends... and you. The hard part is out of the way. Girls who are raped and don't report it do so, typically, because they don't want anyone to know. If everyone already knows, what has she got to lose by making a formal statement if her story is indeed true?
In either case, it's not your responsibility to bring "justice" upon the guy. If he raped her, the police will take care of it.
If all he did was have consentual sex with your drunk girlfriend, well, it's your girlfriend who's at fault... not him. I'd challenge you to find me a single young guy on the planet that would turn away the opportunity to have consentual sex with a girl that has a boyfriend.
Assuming though, for a minute, that this 1StG is reciting her stor(y?)(ies?) first hand then I would be inclined to believe that this is not a case of rape.
Questions:
1. What is it? Did she "make him" put a condom on, or, did she "notice" he had a condom on?
2. Her friends sound like dumb bitches, but are they trully so bad that they would, basically, call her a liar if she claims rape?
3. Why won't she take this to the authorities? She "just wants it to go away" or "nothing will come of it" sound like bad excuses to me. Even if there is no case, the fact that she would make a signed statement to the police would be enough for me to believe her... who wants to perjure themselves?
4. Have you discussed this subject with her in front of her friends? Have you brought it up to her friends? Are the statements you've posted from her friends theirs first hand or have you heard them through her?
I would simply find it impossible to believe her story of rape if she isn't willing to make that claim publically in your presence. I know, I'm insensitive.
I've known girls who have trully been raped, and I've no many who have "claimed" rape extremely casually.
I was once accused of rape. Things got hot and heavy with a girl, not a single "No", or "I don't think...", or any sign that she was not interested. Plenty of foreplay, your typical hook-up... not even any alchohol involved. Halfway through however, she got up and walked away. I didn't know what to think, so I just went back with my friends and said nothing. Later that night though I'd found out she had said I raped her! I'm not interested in, in need of, nor capable of rape. I have no idea why the girl would have made those claims, or why she did what she did... to this day. Luckily for me, she didn't take her bullshit to the police.
Similarly, I was once talking to a girl who claimed that, years earlier, my friend "raped" her. Little did she remember though, I was there the night in question. It didn't look or sound like rape to me. Until the next morning when she felt stupid because she realized my friend was dating someone else at the time...
I have a million similar stories. Girls, surprisingly often, throw the word rape around as if it's nothing more then an easy way to clean the egg off their face after a one night stand.
Even more disgusting, being "raped" seems to carry little baggage in some high school and college circles. If a girl claims "rape" the whole situation is often forgotten about. The term rape has been diluted by these supposed "victims" into meaning little more then "I was too drunk to remember" (after two Coors Lights) or "I didn't know he had a girlfriend!".
It's really a shame because, despite claims by some females here, the reason "rape" claims are looked upon with such doubt is because more often then not the girl IS making it up. Unfortunately.
I know, the girls here who feel they have been raped will call me an asshole for feeling that way. But like they claim, "you have no idea". Try being on the wrong side of a false rape claim.
Anyway, moral of the story is, from what we know it does not sound like a case of rape. It sounds like a stupid drunken mistake that she feels incredibly dirty and guilty for.
If it was indeed rape, at this point, she should go to the police. Especially if, as you made it sound, she already told her friends... and you. The hard part is out of the way. Girls who are raped and don't report it do so, typically, because they don't want anyone to know. If everyone already knows, what has she got to lose by making a formal statement if her story is indeed true?
In either case, it's not your responsibility to bring "justice" upon the guy. If he raped her, the police will take care of it.
If all he did was have consentual sex with your drunk girlfriend, well, it's your girlfriend who's at fault... not him. I'd challenge you to find me a single young guy on the planet that would turn away the opportunity to have consentual sex with a girl that has a boyfriend.
#163
Originally Posted by 1StGenCL
Best of all her roommate who left the night of the whole incident decided to put a picture of my gf and her on the fridge with this fucker in the background, what the hell?
Leave her. This is way too much for you to deal with. This girlfriend of yours has some HORRIBLE friends. And just by proximity alone I wouldn't imagine your gf NOT having at least some of those characteristics.
#165
Originally Posted by soopa
Girls, surprisingly often, throw the word rape around as if it's nothing more then an easy way to clean the egg off their face after a one night stand.
She cheated but I believed she was raped because I was a gullible 18 year old kid who thought he was in love with a good girl. Bullshit...... she used "rape" as an excuse.
The same signs were there (minus the alcohol). She wouldn't report it to the police, she told all her friends and me (her then bf). And she later ended up hanging out with the guy!
I'd challenge you to find me a single young guy on the planet that would turn away the opportunity to have consentual sex with a girl that has a boyfriend.
#166
Originally Posted by soopa
I'd challenge you to find me a single young guy on the planet that would turn away the opportunity to have consentual sex with a girl that has a boyfriend.
#168
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I dunno, sounds like chicks can just say "hey, I'm NOT lovin' it" and whine about it and call it rape. Entitlement philosophy: you have to provide the best sex ever, or YOU get screwed.
I'm good enough at smacking my car into things and having to fix it with touch-up paint and expensive dent removal. I'd really rather not have to replace the windows after pissed off guy with baseball bat finds them.
Originally Posted by soopa
I'd challenge you to find me a single young guy on the planet that would turn away the opportunity to have consentual sex with a girl that has a boyfriend.
#169
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Not to beat the hell out of a dead horse, but 3 of the many girls i've dated all claimed the same as well. There are some girls out there that use it as a sympathy trip...its ashame..
#170
Stage 1 Audi S5
Thread Starter
UPDATE: You guys are right, she consented. I went with her to a friends birthday dinner and low and behold he is supposed to show up. Long story short, he doesnt come to dinner but he comes to a party after and i confront him and ask him to leave. A girl i just met pulled me outside and said hey i have been super trashed but never did anything i didnt want and went on to say my gf and this guy have been flirting for a bit. She also said they kissed in front of everyone and she actually pulled him into the room. She said i seemed nice (yah nice ppl do get fucked over) and despite not knowing me suggested to ditch her and appoligized about telling me.
His story was very similar to this girls expect he said she gave him a bj and then he did have a condom on because she asked him to put one on before sex. He did say a minute or two into it she realized it was wrong and started to cry and left. I asked my gf to take me home from the party since she drove and confronted her. She told me nothing like that happened and "Fuck you, you dont trust me it's over." This explains why she could tell me he was wearing one at the start of things and then changed her mind and why she wouldnt press charges. I knew it was bad she didnt want the police involved which is one of the main reasons i pressed for them to come into things because i knew she wouldnt lie to them.
Overall this just sucks, the guy is one ugly mother and is know to be a bit violent and force himself on girls according to the ppl at the party last night but i dont think he had to do much forcing last weekend. God this sucks, i havent been alone for six years and now college is over and im looking for a job not meeting anyone. I feel so hurt and confused still and cant sleep, why does she have to be so heartless
Oh i dont think i have ever felt so violent but i want to go after this kid or do something and dont know why, it wasnt really all his fault. Would you guys do something knowing its wrong?
His story was very similar to this girls expect he said she gave him a bj and then he did have a condom on because she asked him to put one on before sex. He did say a minute or two into it she realized it was wrong and started to cry and left. I asked my gf to take me home from the party since she drove and confronted her. She told me nothing like that happened and "Fuck you, you dont trust me it's over." This explains why she could tell me he was wearing one at the start of things and then changed her mind and why she wouldnt press charges. I knew it was bad she didnt want the police involved which is one of the main reasons i pressed for them to come into things because i knew she wouldnt lie to them.
Overall this just sucks, the guy is one ugly mother and is know to be a bit violent and force himself on girls according to the ppl at the party last night but i dont think he had to do much forcing last weekend. God this sucks, i havent been alone for six years and now college is over and im looking for a job not meeting anyone. I feel so hurt and confused still and cant sleep, why does she have to be so heartless
Oh i dont think i have ever felt so violent but i want to go after this kid or do something and dont know why, it wasnt really all his fault. Would you guys do something knowing its wrong?
Last edited by 1StGenCL; 01-22-2006 at 06:51 AM.
#171
Stage 1 Audi S5
Thread Starter
Fuck, now she is calling me wanting to go get something to eat or have a fuckin picnic, literally she wants to get some food and go for a picnic because it is in the seventies. After all the fighting from her last night saying she doesnt want to date me im not for her she wants a PICNIC! She called me like nothing had happened and told me what a crappy night she had once she dropped me off. Her roommate, SJ, got drunk and ran away and then my ex proceeded to tell me how shitty it was that her other friends wanted to give up looking for SJ. Hello, your friends suck one giant donkey dick, scratch that they suck lots of dicks just depends on the night, they are shitty friends why be friends with them i dont understand. Granted you guys have got to be wondering why i am still talking to her and i dont know. She called like nothing has happened when i have cried all night
#172
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Originally Posted by 1StGenCL
Granted you guys have got to be wondering why i am still talking to her and i dont know.
Please stop wasting your time with this person and move on.
#173
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by mantis23
Please stop wasting your time with this person and move on.
Unless you like getting walked on.
And lets face it, she lost your trust in her... its over.
#174
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by 1StGenCL
Oh i dont think i have ever felt so violent but i want to go after this kid or do something and dont know why, it wasnt really all his fault. Would you guys do something knowing its wrong?
Should thank him for proving that your girl isnt faithful.
#175
Team Owner
Move on. At 23 there is plenty of better fish in the sea.
#176
The Creator
Originally Posted by Crazy Sellout
Should thank him for proving that your girl isnt faithful.
It's not the dudes fault.
The only reason you could have to beat the shit outta him is to save face with your mutual friends, but, they're not friends anyway and you're not in college anymore.
Put him behind you. He's just some dude doing what any dude would of done.
Originally Posted by doopstr
Move on. At 23 there is plenty of better fish in the sea.
You're young. You seem to have a good head about you. You'll find one that WONT blow another dude while shes with you before you know it.
Like Jesal said, you'll never be able to trust her again. It's over whether you want it to be or not. Whether you acknowledge or accept it... it's over. There's no going forward from here even if you try. Save yourself a ton of pain and let it go.
Now to you feminazis here who said "give the girl the benefit of the doubt" despite the obvious...
Try being on the opposite side of a false accusation. THAT'S powerless.
#177
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by 1StGenCL
UPDATE: You guys are right, she consented.
Now move on and forget about her. You should be happy you have rid yourself of someone who sleeps around, cheats, and lies.
#178
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by 1StGenCL
...She called like nothing has happened when i have cried all night
Toss this bad apple away.
#179
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Damn, this has come full circle huh? you don't need her...I know ypou've head this all before but just try your best move on.
Your fresh outta college, what better way to make fresh start all around.
Good Luck!
Your fresh outta college, what better way to make fresh start all around.
Good Luck!
#180
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Originally Posted by soopa
Now to you feminazis here who said "give the girl the benefit of the doubt" despite the obvious...
Well you said you're not meeting anyone. I know how that can feel but you said the girl that told u about it was one that you just met. I'm not saying go after her specifically, but it's an example of how you just met someone new, and probably will be followed by a lot of other new people.
Just don't waste time with her just because you're afraid that you're not gonna meet someone else.
#181
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Unfortunatly, this type of story happens. Would you have felt differently if she told you outright that she cheated and didn't cry rape? Go out with your friends and have some good nights being single. The thing that sucks about this situation is that it puts girls who actually did get raped in a bad position. One of my friends claimed rape on a guy, when really, she got bombed and woke up the next morning and was horrified about who she banged. She pursued it enough to where the kid left my college. Now my school handles rape cases very differently when there is alcohol involved-they are less likely to pursue things. Move on and have fun-you're still young
#182
Damn. I feel for you dude.
I know this pain will go away, just give it some time and really TRY to go out and have some fun with your real friends.
This has just been a huge learning experience for you. Now you're likely to meet someone really special, fun and casual, or at least someone who will respect you.
You'll be fine. But make sure to keep her out of your life.
I know this pain will go away, just give it some time and really TRY to go out and have some fun with your real friends.
This has just been a huge learning experience for you. Now you're likely to meet someone really special, fun and casual, or at least someone who will respect you.
You'll be fine. But make sure to keep her out of your life.
#183
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hahaha. Picnic.
She's a very interesting bish. But, you should let her cry to someone else, because one can only hope you've broken off contact with her. You'll be fine ... dunno about her!
She's a very interesting bish. But, you should let her cry to someone else, because one can only hope you've broken off contact with her. You'll be fine ... dunno about her!
#184
POST HER PICS.
AMEN !!!
What did I tell ya back on P2:
And guess what...at only 23 and given your circle of "friends", it's likely you'll go thru a couple more of them hos so get used to it and stay strong man !
Forget this bitch and move on to the next one
soopa:
Now to you feminazis here who said "give the girl the benefit of the doubt" despite the obvious...
Now to you feminazis here who said "give the girl the benefit of the doubt" despite the obvious...
What did I tell ya back on P2:
Originally Posted by huckleberry
It takes two to "Tango": Asshole + WHORE
Forget this bitch and move on to the next one
#187
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by soopa
I'd challenge you to find me a single young guy on the planet that would turn away the opportunity to have consentual sex with a girl that has a boyfriend.
Anyway, in essence, she's a filthy ho who needs to be cut off from the supply of excessive dick that she's getting. Starting with you would be a good beginning. Forget her. It's easier said than done, but forget her.
#188
Race Director
Originally Posted by soopa
Now to you feminazis here who said "give the girl the benefit of the doubt" despite the obvious...
This is why the women who are really raped will probably be scared to come forward, because theyre going to be scared to be called a liar and a whore.
Id personally like to beat the living shit out this girl.
#190
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by 1StGenCL
Fuck, now she is calling me wanting to go get something to eat or have a fuckin picnic, literally she wants to get some food and go for a picnic because it is in the seventies. After all the fighting from her last night saying she doesnt want to date me im not for her she wants a PICNIC! She called me like nothing had happened and told me what a crappy night she had once she dropped me off. Her roommate, SJ, got drunk and ran away and then my ex proceeded to tell me how shitty it was that her other friends wanted to give up looking for SJ. Hello, your friends suck one giant donkey dick, scratch that they suck lots of dicks just depends on the night, they are shitty friends why be friends with them i dont understand. Granted you guys have got to be wondering why i am still talking to her and i dont know. She called like nothing has happened when i have cried all night
NO girl is worth the rollercoaster ride of emotions that going back to her will bring.
#191
05/5AT/Navi/ABP/Quartz
Sorry you had this experience. If you keep talking to her... you get what you get, move on Now!
Be glad it happened now instead of after 3 years and two kids!
Be glad it happened now instead of after 3 years and two kids!
#193
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I only read the first page, and in all seriousness, have you thought about killing the fucker who did this. Do you love your girlfriend?
hmm just read the last page. did she go against what she previously said and we can come to the conclusion that it was not rape?
hmm just read the last page. did she go against what she previously said and we can come to the conclusion that it was not rape?
#194
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Originally Posted by slayer202
I only read the first page, and in all seriousness, have you thought about killing the fucker who did this. Do you love your girlfriend?
hmm just read the last page. did she go against what she previously said and we can come to the conclusion that it was not rape?
hmm just read the last page. did she go against what she previously said and we can come to the conclusion that it was not rape?
I'd want to kill the guy as well, but the gf is at fault here.
At 23 years old, you should dismiss this like your dog's shit and call it a day.
#197
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by soopa
you'll never be able to trust her again. It's over whether you want it to be or not. Whether you acknowledge or accept it... it's over. There's no going forward from here even if you try. Save yourself a ton of pain and let it go.
Move on.
#198
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Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
^ the silence KILLS them!
it does. with my last ex (who still trys to fix what she fucked up), thats exactly what i did. you have to just move on and drop her from your life. its tough at first, but soopa's right ... no matter how bad you want it to work, the trust will never be there. delete her number, ignore the calls/IMs/anything else, and hopefully she will get the point. it may take awhile (its been 2+ months for me, and she still calls without an answer), but just stay strong and find a better woman. there are a ton out there!