Dating & Relationships Love sucks. Now you can cry about it…

Selfish when on the rag?

Thread Tools
 
Old 07-02-2008, 08:44 AM
  #1  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Selfish when on the rag?

So I just started having sex with this girl I've started going out with. So last night she is over and we are fooling around and she lets me know that she is having her period, so no sex.

Now every other girl I've been with in my life has always at least taken care of me in some way during that time of the month. This girl does nothing, we just kiss and feel a while, then she goes home. I even directly told her I bad I wanted to do something.

Should I be worried about this? It's really bothering me, almost to the point where I'm thinking about leaving her. It makes me feel like she doesn't care how I feel and is pretty selfish because we did nothing just because she couldn't do something.

What do you guys think?
Old 07-02-2008, 08:46 AM
  #2  
Race Director
 
RMATIC09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NY
Age: 38
Posts: 12,434
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Idk man, if shes a great girl i think you can live without any ass for a week. But then again , the chick i marry better be blowing me when shes on the rag, or at least let me do her (dosent bother me).

She wont even lit you sit her down and wack off onto her? THats pretty lame, maybe shes just shy since it's a new relationship.
Old 07-02-2008, 08:47 AM
  #3  
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (2)
 
NSXNEXT's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: where the weather suits my clothes
Age: 55
Posts: 27,921
Received 1,080 Likes on 661 Posts
yes you are selfish.
Old 07-02-2008, 08:49 AM
  #4  
GEEZER
 
1killercls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dunedin, Fla.
Posts: 44,444
Received 2,227 Likes on 1,421 Posts
Originally Posted by NSXNEXT
yes you are selfish.
Old 07-02-2008, 08:49 AM
  #5  
I don't have a Ferrari in
 
mastertl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 3,437
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes on 1 Post
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
This girl does nothing, we just kiss and feel a while, then she goes home.
I've always thought this was illegal
Old 07-02-2008, 08:50 AM
  #6  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Originally Posted by RMATIC09
Idk man, if shes a great girl i think you can live without any ass for a week. But then again , the chick i marry better be blowing me when shes on the rag, or at least let me do her (dosent bother me).

She wont even lit you sit her down and wack off onto her? THats pretty lame, maybe shes just shy since it's a new relationship.
In her defense, I didn't specifically ask her to do anything. It's just ever other girl I've been with has immediately offered to take care of me in other ways when she was out of commission for the week
Old 07-02-2008, 08:50 AM
  #7  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Originally Posted by NSXNEXT
yes you are selfish.
me?
Old 07-02-2008, 08:51 AM
  #8  
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 53
Posts: 69,918
Received 1,236 Likes on 825 Posts
Originally Posted by NSXNEXT
yes you are selfish.
and stupid...
Old 07-02-2008, 08:53 AM
  #9  
Team Owner
 
svtmike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago
Age: 60
Posts: 37,666
Received 3,864 Likes on 2,031 Posts
When she's painting the front door, you have to go around back.
Old 07-02-2008, 08:53 AM
  #10  
Race Director
 
TeknoKing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 10,497
Received 277 Likes on 161 Posts
sorry but about you being selfish....

Most girls get excited as they perform an act on you...it will be major selfish to her.
Old 07-02-2008, 08:54 AM
  #11  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
I don't get how everyone thinks I'm selfish, if the situation was reversed and I was the one who couldn't do anything, I would take care of her without expecting anything back.
Old 07-02-2008, 08:55 AM
  #12  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Originally Posted by svtmike
When she's painting the front door, you have to go around back.
not there yet, in time
Old 07-02-2008, 09:00 AM
  #13  
has Gloryhole Girls in
 
phil2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Ballston Lake, NY
Age: 48
Posts: 11,473
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Redwings FTW!
Old 07-02-2008, 09:00 AM
  #14  
Moderator
 
Street Spirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 9,161
Likes: 0
Received 58 Likes on 34 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
I don't get how everyone thinks I'm selfish, if the situation was reversed and I was the one who couldn't do anything, I would take care of her without expecting anything back.
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
It's really bothering me, almost to the point where I'm thinking about leaving her.
There's your answer.

Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
It makes me feel like she doesn't care how I feel and is pretty selfish because we did nothing just because she couldn't do something.
So ironic.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:02 AM
  #15  
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 53
Posts: 69,918
Received 1,236 Likes on 825 Posts
I think SS is also on the rag
Old 07-02-2008, 09:04 AM
  #16  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Originally Posted by Street Spirit
There's your answer.



So ironic.
That makes no sense to me. You act like I'm some dirtbag who expects the girl to blow me and then go home. I treat this girl like gold, I do a lot to make her happy, I don't see why, knowing that the guy she is with wants her, she can't do something for me to make me happy.

Like I said, I would happily do it for her.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:05 AM
  #17  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Hey Street, where did your "I don't deserve her" post go?
Old 07-02-2008, 09:10 AM
  #18  
Team Owner
 
svtmike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago
Age: 60
Posts: 37,666
Received 3,864 Likes on 2,031 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
That makes no sense to me. You act like I'm some dirtbag who expects the girl to blow me and then go home. I treat this girl like gold, I do a lot to make her happy, I don't see why, knowing that the guy she is with wants her, she can't do something for me to make me happy.

Like I said, I would happily do it for her.
It's selfish because you're thinking only of yourself, and aren't even making an attempt to see the situation from her side and empathize with it. She isn't factoring into your thoughts, only you, what you want, what you're not getting, and what you feel you do for her.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:11 AM
  #19  
Moderator
 
Street Spirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 9,161
Likes: 0
Received 58 Likes on 34 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
Hey Street, where did your "I don't deserve her" post go?
I deleted it, thinking it was a bit too harsh.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:16 AM
  #20  
Moderator
 
Street Spirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 9,161
Likes: 0
Received 58 Likes on 34 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
That makes no sense to me. You act like I'm some dirtbag who expects the girl to blow me and then go home. I treat this girl like gold, I do a lot to make her happy, I don't see why, knowing that the guy she is with wants her, she can't do something for me to make me happy.

Like I said, I would happily do it for her.
Because you're basing this entirely "great" relationship on the one week when YOU don't seem to get what YOU want, ignoring all else that you'd think would be just as important in a great relationship. Who cares what every other girl you've dated has done; she's not them.

Thinking about breaking up over not getting what you think you deserve, during a few days each month, seems rather selfish and petty, no?

You obviously can't like her too much if you can't see past those few days.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:18 AM
  #21  
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
 
darksom1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Germantown, MD
Posts: 6,798
Likes: 0
Received 4 Likes on 4 Posts
If you say you just WANT her to do something - then that's cool, but if you are talkng about leaving her if she doesn't, then that is like a demand or ultimatum (I know you didn't say it to her).

Look, of course you are selfish. A lot of guys are when it's like that. I am. We're horny and we want some satisfaction. Nothing wrong with being selfish then. What is wrong, is taking it out on the girl and acting like you don't know you are being selfish! Aren't you old enough to deal with the disappontment of finding out it's that time of the month yet? How long have you been fucking??? And how in the fuck do you justify leaving someone for some shit like that? Be honest...you just wrote this shit for attention dude! Either that or you have a lot to learn young gunner!!

Sheeyyiitt...I want something, head or anal during those times, too. But I'm not going to kick the girl to the curb just because she didn't offer or do it!! That's stupid as shit! She should leave YOUR ass and probably would if she knew you were this selfish and superficial!

Some of ya'll just sit at home and think of some of the dumbest shit to come up in here with...that was funny...NOT!
Old 07-02-2008, 09:25 AM
  #22  
Pro
 
Pete1burn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Boston, MA
Age: 46
Posts: 595
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
You're that shallow? Seriously?

It's a fucking week, maybe less. Grease your palm and deal with it for a few days.

And you're thinking about leaving her...
Old 07-02-2008, 09:30 AM
  #23  
Earth-bound misfit
 
wndrlst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Age: 48
Posts: 31,704
Received 608 Likes on 312 Posts
Sorry, but I agree with those saying your thinking is selfish.

You should understand that there are a lot of things at play for different women during that time of the month. On days when the flow is particularly heavy it's virtually impossible to feel sexy. I'm all about giving some love to a guy when I can't get my own for whatever reason, but if I'm not feeling it, that just makes me feel like a prostitute. Particularly in a brand new relationship, a woman will be looking for some kind of a connection in any sexual encounter.

You also have to factor in her hormones which will fluctuate during that week and affect her libido for better or worse. Also important to consider is that very few things will make a woman less interested in sex than cramps. I know you don't have a uterus, so think of someone grabbing your intestines & wringing them out like a wet towel. Still horny?

Not to mention, you're sitting there expecting yours, when she's not going to have hers. If she's willing, that makes her generous. If she's not, she's not generous, but I wouldn't tip it into selfishness either. Thinking of leaving her because you didn't even ask, and she didn't offer, puts you on the selfish side. We don't read minds any better than you do. Ask for what you want. If she looks at you like it's the most bizarre request ever, and says she would never consider it regardless of how she's feeling, THEN you can talk about looking for a more generous lover.

Old 07-02-2008, 09:32 AM
  #24  
Suzuka Master
 
sasha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: D.istrict of C.orruption
Age: 44
Posts: 6,251
Received 71 Likes on 28 Posts
You're thinking of leaving a girl just because she didn't wack you off or give you head?!... Sorry, but that is kinda selfish. So I'm assuming you're not serious about her and she's just another pussy for you?

And by the way, a girl sometimes just doesn't feel sexy when she is on her period, especially if she has cramps.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:33 AM
  #25  
Suzuka Master
 
sasha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: D.istrict of C.orruption
Age: 44
Posts: 6,251
Received 71 Likes on 28 Posts
Originally Posted by wndrlst
Sorry, but I agree with those saying your thinking is selfish.

You should understand that there are a lot of things at play for different women during that time of the month. On days when the flow is particularly heavy it's virtually impossible to feel sexy. I'm all about giving some love to a guy when I can't get my own for whatever reason, but if I'm not feeling it, that just makes me feel like a prostitute. Particularly in a brand new relationship, a woman will be looking for some kind of a connection in any sexual encounter.

You also have to factor in her hormones which will fluctuate during that week and affect her libido for better or worse. Also important to consider is that very few things will make a woman less interested in sex than cramps. I know you don't have a uterus, so think of someone grabbing your intestines & wringing them out like a wet towel. Still horny?

Not to mention, you're sitting there expecting yours, when she's not going to have hers. If she's willing, that makes her generous. If she's not, she's not generous, but I wouldn't tip it into selfishness either. Thinking of leaving her because you didn't even ask, and she didn't offer, puts you on the selfish side. We don't read minds any better than you do. Ask for what you want. If she looks at you like it's the most bizarre request ever, and says she would never consider it regardless of how she's feeling, THEN you can talk about looking for a more generous lover.

Exactly.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:34 AM
  #26  
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (4)
 
myron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Edmonton, Canada
Age: 39
Posts: 8,205
Received 269 Likes on 229 Posts
I am with you Gibson, I would expect a girl to do something to help me out while shes on the rag but then again ig she doesnt get it, just ask her. Maybe not for a bj but a hand job at least or soemthing.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:35 AM
  #27  
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 53
Posts: 69,918
Received 1,236 Likes on 825 Posts
Yep...so that's all the women on Azine saying that you suck....
Old 07-02-2008, 09:35 AM
  #28  
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Landisville, PA
Age: 49
Posts: 37,115
Received 601 Likes on 418 Posts
You're selfish dude.

Gibson, meet right hand.....right hand, meet Gibson. Please enjoy. If that doesn't do it for you, then go find a hooker.
Old 07-02-2008, 09:35 AM
  #29  
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
 
darksom1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Germantown, MD
Posts: 6,798
Likes: 0
Received 4 Likes on 4 Posts
Go ask WILLDOGS for that herpes broad's number...she'll take a selfish motherfucker right about now, period or not! Hahahahaha!

Should I leave the girl and am I selfish?...Nah, that's not the question, you already know that...the question is why am I so damn selfish and stupid...
Old 07-02-2008, 10:08 AM
  #30  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Well, i guess you all told me exactly what I was hoping you would. Even though I don't entirely agree, I can't argue against all of you. I guess I need to lower my expectations. Maybe I've been spoiled by the other girls I've dated.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:10 AM
  #31  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Originally Posted by sasha
You're thinking of leaving a girl just because she didn't wack you off or give you head?!... Sorry, but that is kinda selfish. So I'm assuming you're not serious about her and she's just another pussy for you?

And by the way, a girl sometimes just doesn't feel sexy when she is on her period, especially if she has cramps.
I really look at as more than a HJ or BJ, hence the selfishness reference. It's not just an orgasm, it her willingness to please me.

Like I said a couple times, if there was something that stopped me from having sex with her, I would go down on her without thinking twice about it because I would want at least one of us to be enjoying something. Is that so bad?
Old 07-02-2008, 10:14 AM
  #32  
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Landisville, PA
Age: 49
Posts: 37,115
Received 601 Likes on 418 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
Well, i guess you all told me exactly what I was hoping you would. Even though I don't entirely agree, I can't argue against all of you. I guess I need to lower my expectations. Maybe I've been spoiled by the other girls I've dated.
Maybe the other girls were whores There were reasons that those didn't work out.

Give her a chance. If this is your biggest issue, you have it easy.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:17 AM
  #33  
My Garage
Thread Starter
 
GIBSON6594's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NY
Age: 42
Posts: 13,386
Received 11 Likes on 10 Posts
Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
Maybe the other girls were whores There were reasons that those didn't work out.

Give her a chance. If this is your biggest issue, you have it easy.
The funny thing is, this girl is the most "whorish" of the girls I've dated. Past girls have all been sweet, innocent girls.

Who knows man?
Old 07-02-2008, 10:20 AM
  #34  
Moderator
 
Street Spirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 9,161
Likes: 0
Received 58 Likes on 34 Posts
Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
Maybe the other girls were whores




I wouldn't say that. I'd just say that each individual has her own likes, dislikes, expectations, moods, emotions, etc, etc, etc, etc. Just because one woman likes or dislikes something doesn't mean that is how it is with all womankind. Not everyone is the same. Doesn't seem too hard to grasp.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:22 AM
  #35  
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Landisville, PA
Age: 49
Posts: 37,115
Received 601 Likes on 418 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
The funny thing is, this girl is the most "whorish" of the girls I've dated. Past girls have all been sweet, innocent girls.

Who knows man?
Maybe she just knows what she wants more than the other girls. When I was your age, the younger, more inexperienced women I dated were always eager to please. But they never knew what they wanted in life. FLAKEY to say the least. The sex was never the reason it didn't worked out. It was them not knowing what they wanted.

The more experienced ones, the ones that knew what they wanted, and maybe not as eager to please were 10000000% easier to deal with mentally.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:23 AM
  #36  
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Landisville, PA
Age: 49
Posts: 37,115
Received 601 Likes on 418 Posts
Originally Posted by Street Spirit



I wouldn't say that. I'd just say that each individual has her own likes, dislikes, expectations, moods, emotions, etc, etc, etc, etc. Just because one woman likes or dislikes something doesn't mean that is how it is with all womankind. Not everyone is the same. Doesn't seem too hard to grasp.
Sorry. I was actually kidding. Should have put it in red.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:25 AM
  #37  
Moderator
 
Street Spirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 9,161
Likes: 0
Received 58 Likes on 34 Posts
Originally Posted by GIBSON6594
Well, i guess you all told me exactly what I was hoping you would. Even though I don't entirely agree, I can't argue against all of you. I guess I need to lower my expectations. Maybe I've been spoiled by the other girls I've dated.
You don't need to lower your expectations for anyone, and you should always feel comfortable and excited with who you're dating. Maybe this person isn't right for you in a variety of ways. Calling her selfish though, IMO, was just ironic when you considered your reasoning.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:53 AM
  #38  
Suzuka Master
 
SakiGT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Age: 41
Posts: 5,115
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Why is it off limits when shes on the rag.
Old 07-02-2008, 10:54 AM
  #39  
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (4)
 
EL19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DC
Age: 38
Posts: 5,340
Received 194 Likes on 151 Posts
Just talk ot her about it. Dont draw conclusions from something you didnt even discuss with her. Thats would be ASS-U-ME-ing you see what that spells LOL. If after the talk she still feels the same way then thats when you make your decision. Plus she may have thought that you were satisfied with the making out. Alot of girls don't know (or act like they dont know) that they cant get the "man" up and not put him back down. Alot of the times they are just content with kissing or grab assing and think you are too. Speak your mind.
And most women feel un attractive or bloated or in pain when they are bleeding
Old 07-02-2008, 11:01 AM
  #40  
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 53
Posts: 69,918
Received 1,236 Likes on 825 Posts
Originally Posted by SakiGT
Why is it off limits when shes on the rag.
You're my type of woman...


Quick Reply: Selfish when on the rag?



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:09 PM.