if you read all the posts, then you will see that I did give him some advice...and when you are talking about life or death issues, you can't leave God out of it...

 

RU487 is the way to go

http://www.ehealthforum.com/health/topic809.html

Read what aquababie03 has to say about 90% right

I've been down that road before so i know its not a easy one.

Good luck

 

Actually, only the first line was directed specifically at you. To me, there's a certain irony when someone touting themselves as a devout Christian fires off (or implies) a string of insults or profanities as opposed to taking the high road (my preferred method). I don't need a diatribe about it by the way...it's just one of life's little paradox's in my book.

The rest was directed to the level of bickering that was getting way out of hand.

And if you're one of "the great unwashed" as I proudly count myself...who considers the law of the land before considering any scripture, you can and should leave God out of it.

 

do some research condoms aren't 100% that shit can happen, oh and you might wanna start hanging around more staircases and carry a coathanger

 

rob!!

 

God Bless you two...please remember how messed up this feels right now, so you will never, ever find yourselves here again...don't beat her or yourself up about it...just don't forget...God has already forgiven you and will never remember if you don't repeat this episode...BTW...He will forgive you again, and again and again...pretty cool, Huh?

 

Dark

 

 

hey guys. just wanted to give u an update

she's at school down in the south.. im up here in binghamton, NY. she wants me to fly down to be with her for the procedure... lots of stuff happened since i last posted but much of it was drama, nothing really important. i told my dad about the situation, he was cool about it and he told me that the abortion was the best bet for our situation... but we both agreed it would be insane to tell my mom.. she would've probably killed me if she found out. so my dad is helping me out, covering for me while i go down to emory to be with her.

will let you guys know when everything's over.. thanks for everyones advice. a-cl, u guys rock

 

glad to hear that you could be open with at least one of your parents

 

That's great that your Dad is supportive during this difficult time...God's speed and safety in your travels!...You'll do fine!

 

Great to hear the update, and that you have a supportive and understanding family.

 

Glad to hear that it's all working out for you.

The thing that will mean the most to your dad right now is convincing him...through deeds as well as words...how sorry you are and that mistakes like this won't happen again. It also wouldn't hurt to tell your dad how lucky you are to have him and how much you love him. Us dads can't hear that enough.

Speaking from one father to another, you can tell your Dad that he's a good man.

 

yeah be glad that your dad decided to keep you.

sorry. i couldnt resist

 

im richer that he is why wouldn't he haha

 

braggart!

 

my father is a great man.. been through an insane amount of shit through his whole life, and he works hard for his family and most of all for me and my sister's welfare.

i mean he wasnt exactly happy about what happened but he knew that there was no point in scolding me, etc.


haha silvia, i was just kidding. grandparents on both sides left me insane amounts of property and other stuff in their wills.. complicated (and archaic) korean tradition dictated that i get it. i dont deserve a single penny of it i know but its good to have around to use one day i guess.

-rez

 

Good luck buddy, i am in a similar situation however we are having it. I always thought that i would be pro-abortion in this case but once i saw the ultasound with the baby moving and stretching and sucking it's thumbs at 14 weeks, i couldn't do it, i would tell her to have it and i would adopt it. But i totally believe that if the situation warrants it it is the only option. Kids are a crapload of work, and you need to make sure that they have a loving solid home. Best of luck to you man i feel for you.

 

so I just happen to drop in and started reading a couple of pages and had to stop....it scared me.

lots of lots of lots of mis-information here where people were so sure they were right....

do they not teach sex education in school anymore?

no wonder these things happen.

your situation is unfortunate but you may want to consider abortion. to be blunt, you're young enough to where over the next 10-20 years, you'll get over it.

 

Ken you're a bit late...that decision has been made. But just to elaborate on what you said, we had some hausfrau in this neighborhood knocking on doors several years back trying to circulate a petition to try and keep the local public school from teaching sex-ed. Most people laughed and shut the door in her face.

But in answer to your question...they do teach it, but no one pays attention.

 

around here they dont teach anything about safe sex or contraception.

just abstinence. which always works with the kids

 

NJ only teaches abstinence, nothing more, which is kinda sad. I graduated with a girl who had 3 kids.

 

we were taught about condoms and birth control. big help it did me

 

but then again i am a retard

 

Get a test done and make sure it's yours... let me tell you a little story.


When I was in highscool one of my friends Mike knocked up this girl. They had the baby and kept it, however because of their differences they coudn't stay as a couple. He went on and paid all of his child support, kept up with taking care of his son. And was a great father.

Well... 7 years after having the kid the girl goes and gets married. They have a blood test done on both her and the child prior to getting married. Low and behold they find out my friend mike WAS NOT the father of the child he's been supporting for the past 7 years. It turns out my *OTHER* friend Rich (who mind you just got married 8 months prior to this) is the father!

So Rich gets a call saying he's the father. (mind you his new wife is thrilled about this information)
Mike who has been paying and being the kids father for the past 7 years finds out he's NOT the father.

...

have the baby tested!

 

Also rez man, you talked about finding funds that your parents don't know about. Now I know nothing about your family or even you, but for me before my now fiance and I decided what to do about the kid, my parents were the most supportive people that I could have asked for, so it might be worth a try, i was pretty pleasantly surprised. I really do feel for your situation man, if you were in my city i would buy you a :beer:

 

Siggy, did your friend Mike keep supporting the kid or what?...that is a jacked-up situation...one that I have seen more than I would have ever imagined as a doctor...God knows that these kids are not asking to come to this world and then get screwed around...it just makes me so sad...

 

crazy ass dilemma now...

it seems that my girl is having lots of emotional ethical issues with the abortion... last night she told me that she didn't think that she could go through with it. she proceeded to tell me that she wanted to have the kid.

not sure what to do...

-rez

 

You're fucked.


All you can do is express your opinion, wants, and needs, but she makes the final decision.

Sorry to hear about this update.

 

damn, that must really suck. Does she know about all that money you have? hehehe...but all joking aside, seems like you're FUCKED...

 

nothing you can do if she wants to keep it.

I told you it sounded like she didnt want to do the abortion.
Try to ask her what she expects out of you as far as being part of the baby's life.

I dont know. I find that most people who didnt want to have a kid turn out end up saying it was the best thing that ever happened to them.

 

Sorry to hear about your latest update.

It really isn't up to you anymore, unfortunately. She will most likely keep it and you will have to deal with it. It could be the best thing in the end, for you and her, but it will make anything you do or want to achieve that much harder, but in the end, it will make you a stronger person.

Just keep your head up...

 

she's asking me about marriage. i don't know what to say

 

Well, be honest, that is all you can do. You definately don't want her to believe something that isn't true.

You know your not ready, and she probably isn't either. She is only thinking about it simply because of the situation, but she doesn't know what the future holds. Most marriages at your age end in divorce, and plus, the reason for getting married isn't right, and you will probably regret it later. The child doesn't need to be born into a marriage that was only created because of it.

 

keeping the baby is one thing. marriage is another. DO NOT get married because of this baby. Its not fair to you, and its not going to be fair to the child, who will either
1) have to deal with parents who bicker all the time and stress the child out or
2) will have to go through the pain of why mommy and daddy are breaking up. and then eventually learning in the future it is THEIR fault for why mommy and daddy got together in the first place.

I dont know why she is so keen about marraige for the baby. if she was so concerned about her religious values she shouldnt have been having premarital sex

 

What she said.

Don't marry her unless you want to marry her because you love her and because she loves you back and you both want to be married. Or if she has shitloads of money. End of story.

 

Rezurex-

You need to tell here, you NOT ready for to marry, especially her and especially with having a baby, you need to be strong minded and not give her any hope that, thats what you want. Time is not on your side, you need to make a desicion and stick with it. Don't indirectly lead her on by not saying anything.

Thats only going to make matters worse, and then when you finally decide to abort, its too late, then your really fucked.

BTW go and both see a counselor, that might make the difference for her to change your mind.

Good luck......I feel for you as i know its not a easy time.

 

A big to whoever gave me negative rep for this post. May all your children be flipper babies you religious fanatic you.

 

Laugh at her. That might change her mind.

 

Just an old guys opinion, I agree with the others that say, don't marry unless YOU and SHE are ready, it has to be a mutual thing or it will only hurt all of you in the long term. If she wants to have the baby, it's her decision, I hope you will be a participant in the upbringing of the child, I hope. Please make sure you understand your obligations, legal as well as moral. It sucks that this happens, but you are not the only one, and believe it or not, you will survive, and I suspect, be a better person for it. Hang in there guy, you really will make it. Just buck up and accept the situation. Again, only marry her if you really really think you are both ready. Best wishes and best of luck in your new future.