^^ JLatimer's post in the Male Turnoffs thread is the inspiration behind this thread.



I've always thought this was pretty lame. It makes it sound like the sex part of the relationship is something they have to do, not that they want to do. Like there's nothing special about it at all.


I've never had a girlfriend use it on me, but I do remember my friend's fiance threatening him if he didn't tell her what we we had been talking about (which he did ). I thought she was just joking but when I asked him he said she was being serious

Am I the only one?

 

 

but its a turnoff...

to sex as a tool...

IMHO, if my girl said that if I didn't do X for her she wouldn't have sex with me anymore... I'd respond with...

"Guess I have to go find it somewhere else."

I think relationships are not based off of sex alone... and when a woman uses it as a tool, that just goes to show you that they aren't really enjoying it having it with you and it's actually a chore for them... usually the relationship doesn't work out...

:darksom1:???

 

Another soccer ball incedent?

 

If you are doing her right, then it's just a bluff. If you suck in bed, it's real.

 

 

What if her reply was "No prob, I had my eye on one of your friends anyway!"

Of course it's immature and selfish, but unfortunately, women have passed this trend down from pussy to pussy!!

However...Fellas...it can only be christened a tool when it works! If you respond in any kind of way unfavorably or vexed about the pussy games, then you are, excuse the pun - FUCKED!! They will go to it like it is their bread and butter.

What you have to do to counter that is in fact show it doesn't have any ill effect on you at all by actions, not words. Just don't do or say anything to her, but cope with what works for you. If it's time, then handle your biz. If you wanna fuck somebody else and that's your thing, then do that - but don't announce it or do gestures so that they can assume it or they WILL get the last laugh!

Buckle up for the potential long haul, but treat her the same. When she sees that it is a stupid ploy, and it doesn't bother you, she won't go there again. But if you argue against it or try to retaliate...then she will know how much you miss/need the pleasure principle and your ass is grass!!

Me personally...while I'm going without that pussy, she is going without this dick...I ain't lost one of those wars yet dawg! ROOF!!!

 

I think if a chick uses it and is really serious, then she's prone to the drama.

Unfortunately, no one told me that when I was younger.

 

I would also like to add that I would NOT be long term with a woman who used her pussy as a weapon on the regular!

Can we get a female opinion on this topic????

Where is my girl Nightwalker?? I know I can count on her for this one! Sasha too, she keeps it real! What's up ladies? Is the center attraction a viable weapon option???

A female friend once told me that no way will she play pussy games. She was like why punish herself when "he" fucked up? Hahahahahaha!!!

 

"Here's darksom1's phone number... you need a ride???"

I'm not a great looking guy and i'm not a like some of you are... but damn, if a girl told me that... especially infront of others... that just lets me know that the girl is just in it for what I can give her and not because she wants to be with me... also gives me the hint that I either suck at , or she's not enjoying it... If she needed to get paid to have sex with me... she should have told me when she first got with me... Hit it and quit it...

BUT if you like to be treated like you are buying your way into bed all the time... then I guess you are right and do like it doesn't phase you...

 

I don't get the paid part. Did someone say something about paying for it that I didn't see? My post was meant to reinforce the need to put yourself before the pussy. If you yield to it then you are toast! Did I not make that clear?? But if you turn it into a real war of words with the woman or start doing weird shit to show her it has a negative effect on you, then it gives her reason to keep playing those stupid games. I personally will never give ANYONE dominion over me, no matter what! I rule me! That's just how I'm built...

 

When My GF was all shiney and new, we were with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. Her sister said some shit to her boyfriend about he wouldn't get any if he did something. I told my GF right there that I WOULD be having sex on a regular basis. If not with her, then it would be with someone else. 7 years later and she hasn't pulled that shit once.

 

Just an analogy of getting compensated for her pussy... thus the paid, remunerated, or rewarded... whatever you want to call it in my prior post... She tries to threaten not to have sex with you... then I'll go find it somewhere else... if she says fine... there's the door...

I wouldn't put up with those kind of "pussy games" as you guys say... She's not in the relationship because of you... rather she's using you...

The way I understood the OP's post was she was using her pussy to get you to do/get something for her... Like I said... If you like that kind of treatment from your girl, then act like it doesn't phase you... and in that case you are absolutely correct...



Exactly... I told my girl the same thing... still hasn't pulled that crap on me...
<~~~ is stupid for thinking the same thing huh...

 

Yes, it's a ridiculous tactic, and I see it as manipulative in the extreme. I've never withheld sex to get my way. I wouldn't even think of it. But then, I have too much self respect to view my body as a bargaining chip.

If I can't make a good enough case for my wishes in a given argument, then I'm probably wrong.

And yes, Scotty, I agree with your statement that it implies sex is something to be endured in the relationship, and that only the man needs. Maybe it's not true in a given situation, but the implication is there.

 

I think the bad thing is that most women can go without sex alot longer than men can. So if you play the game of Survivor (Outwit Outplay Outlast) you are going to get pretty frustrated.

Best thing to do is to not play that game and find a woman that doesn't use sex as a bargaining chip.

 

Playing any type of game with a partner is the quickest way to end a relationship. If you disagree on something, discuss it, don't make stupid threats like an 8 year old.

ps - One exception - If a guy wants oral but is unwilling to reciprocate, the girl has every right to say no(and then kick him to the curb). Same if it's the other way around. That's not playing a game IMO.

 

Are you saying you would kick a fine young thing that cooks, cleans, looks after her man, loves sports and actually knows what's happening, gives him his space, fucks the shit out of him, helps with the bills and doesn't blow her money, and has a head on her shoulders - but just won't give "you" head cuz she thinks it's nasty - to the curb???

I don't believe you...nope...don't believe you!

 

Well said!

 

No, I said that I'd kick someone to the curb b/c HE thinks it's nasty. Why? Because if you are that selfish, then you're not for me.

I think you missed the quote requesting a female opinion.

 

Oops! Wow...speed reading kills! LOL! Sorry.

A woman making a case for oral is cool as hell in my book, but if the guy was perfect otherwise, would you still kick him to the curb? In other words, reverse everything as far as gender in my original response if you will.

 

I would.

I've thought about this and oral is just that important to me.

I could deal with a woman that doesn't cook, or clean (hell it's the norm in my age bracket). But not give oral, at least to someone she's in a monogamous relationship with??? I can't deal.

 

Dude...let me break down the error in that judgement call.

If you are with someone that will do all of the things I mentioned before - but won't suck a dick...no prob. Because as your relationship progresses, that is something they can come around to doing, and even WANT to do to make you happy. And vice versa if YOU had a problem doing it. That is not something that can't change, just an initial matter of preference for someone either not skilled, naive about the act itself, or grew up being told it's nasty or gross for some reason or another.

BUT...if you have a woman that is slacking in those OTHER areas I mentioned...that's just who she is and how she is built! I don't have time for a woman to LEARN ON THE JOB, how to be a home-maker. I have no patience for someone to learn to be responsible.

Your lady can learn to suck a mean dick in months...but she can't learn how to help take care of the home in that time frame. Old habits are hard to break. Would you marry a slut and expect her to be a good wife because you did in months? Hell to da naw! A good woman or man is hard to find. When you reach your 30's, that list is bound to get a little stronger as far as reality. LOL! I have had many strong, AEROBIC dick suckers, but not ONE of them had what it took to be a virtuous woman. You read my posts in that other thread dawg!

Peace2fingaz!

 

 

Honestly, I've never experienced this, but friends have. IMO, if someone is too selfish to even want to try and compromise then they are too selfish to spend the rest of my life with. I just can't picture someone being perfect in every way except this. I'm very lucky, I married the greatest guy, but many out there are stuck with partners who aren't.

 

Thats why I have second thoughts about relationships.... at least at my age. A hold out is annoying when you have raging hormones

 

I as a female haven't and wouldn't play that game. However, with that said, I don't think it's true that if a girl DOES play that game, that she's dissatisfied with you in bed. Girls know just how important sex is to a man, and so if she has to pull out the big guns to fight with, that's the biggest. Hit 'em where it hurts. My

 

For the record, I have never had an SO that used sex as a tool. (just in case my wife reads this and thinks I am talking about her) I knew friends that dealt with it and their relationships lasted less than 7 years... I dont blame sex as a tool as a cause, but rather it was just a consequence of deeper lying relationship problems.

That being said, sometimes the the SO takes the stand of 'I am pissed off at you right now and NO! I will not have sex with you'. That is not sex as a tool. That is just the emotional connection that many women make to sex. Men are a lot less discriminating...

 

I think (for most chicks) sex is an emotional thing.

If Im pissed at you, it aint gonna happen.

I could see the two being confused.

 

Throwing anger into the equation... Spur of the moment type of thing... I see where it could be let slide... Especially if its infront of other people...

Once we get home (alone), IMHO, I'll let her know whats up... There's nothing compared to good communication in a relationship... I would simply ask why she needed to prostitute herself to get me to do/get something for her... Embarrassing us as a couple... At least give her that last chance to retract her comment (and i'd explain to her) that it really shows her lack of self respect, which was said in a very intense momment where a panic response such as this could/did happen...

I wouldn't continue playing the game but rather reiterate the rules... because if one of you is playing the game one way and the other the other way, then that just causes problems which may lead to ending the game early...

that sex is an emotional thing, and truely, I wouldn't want to "make love" to a girl if she didn't want it... that causes the cold fish effect if you catch my drift... or the limp for the guys... no feelings whatsoever is just wrong when having sex... especially during anger... most certainly brings awkwardness to the relationship and would show a lack of self respect on the guys part, making her feel like that is all he wants from her and doesn't care for her feelings... etc...

That is how things get turned around and now its the guy's fault...

On everything else... there's :whiskers:

 

The hand is always happy....