This coming from a relationship expert.

 

I'm so glad your advanced years render you so rich with the experience of life...........................

 

It sure does make it interesting 'round here....

He does make some valid points tho'...

 

I probably won't make it to 40


or


she'll be 20

 

What's this girl expect people to say. Picking up dudes in a bar that are old enough for her to be her father. It was obviously a hookup. She let the dude bang her after the first date so let's save "it could be love" crap.

Not sure if I really agree with JimCol, but his eval albeit premature because this girl's history would need to be examined....but on the face.....how could this girl get pissed at jmcol.

 

im glad to see that at least SOME people have the sense and the balls to admit that they agree with me (whether partially or fully). i refuse to hold back, beat around the bush, sugar coat, etc....i call it like i see it and while i am not always right....i am USUALLY right and thats good enough for me....

 

sez it all..

 

And what shall we call the 38-year old who picked her up - a bottomfeeding scumbag? Doubt it---------- a number of posts seem to think he got lucky.

Sounds like a double standard to me.

 

old milwaukee is tha mothafuckin SHIZNIT 4 bucks for a 6 pack of pounders, can't beat that shit yeeeehaaawww



on topic: i think she can do whatever she wants...there IS a double standard....if one of you guys hooked up with a 38 year old women you'd have "OH MAN MILF" and "THATS AWESOME" shit flying around more than if the opposite happens. Try and view it from both sides

 

ah, yes, the advanced life experience that comes fro your vast knowledge acquired in the four years between you and the young woman.................. am glad that's clear...........................

 

He's not to clean either.........

 

Does anyone here actually not consider him a bottom feeding scumbag? I mean dont most guys in bars fall under that heading anyway

All guys are sluts, most will admit it with pride, if superglossy wants to admit it with pride than more power to her (again i go back to my earlier post where i don't know if she is a slut just that she is easy).

And i think we all agree he got lucky. I mean I think we all think that a 20 year old girl does not need a whole lot of skill to pick up a guy (let a lone a 38 year old) but he must have had his child molester skills in overdrive that night to land her

 

here's another angle: when you guys (and gals) have a 20 year daughter, think of her being bought drinks and taken home by a 38-year-old that night doing what she described to her.

you'd probably kill him because you knew excatly what he was up to. :angryfire

 

I think Batin Dean aka "Love Doctor" was in this exact same situation; only he was the possible expletive described above. if i remember correctly, the young lady's box smelled like week old hot garbage. (not releveant, just the details i recall from the thread )

At any rate, these two identical thread subjects have generated totally different responses. This is an interesting study of the double standard we all may subconciously hold. Batin was given props for landing a 19 year old despite being 36. Compare that to what has become of this thread and we have ourselves an interesting study of gender bias and double standards.

((Although consciously, I do agree that this dude is a bottom feeding scumbag. ))

 

Yep, I think there is a double standard going on big-time, but that aside for the moment.................

Frankly, I don't think the young woman is a slut, and the evidence as to the guy being a scumbag is hardly in yet. As the one who can speak to the issues of being 38 from the other side of the fence, I would note that I may have more sympathy for him than most - I really doubt that he is a bottom-feeding scumbag, those folks hang out in worse places than the place he connected to this young woman. I would guess that, for some reason, he is unberably lonely, and at 38, may be freaking out over the big 40, at which point, you are officially middle aged, and no longer young. Is he proving his virility? probably, but it also appears that he is something of a sexual athlete and one that apparently enjoys pleasuring his partner a great deal, which tends to skew the bottom-feeding scumbag theory, bottomfeeding scumbags look for scoring, and not particularly for pleasuring their partner, and the whole event takes on a compulsive nature............

If I had a 20-year old hanging out with a 38 year old, I'd freak, but try to hang in there. I was less than thrilled when my 65-year old father in law connected with a bimbette excactly one year younger than him, and she has proven, through his life and now her widowhood, to be a moneygrubbing gold-digger. That said, I would want to know if this is just some sexual scorekeeping on the part of my daughter, and I would, if the reltionship turned real, want to know how to connect with this guy. If it just a three-night stand, a concept that I am entirely familiar with (somethimes with women both far younger and far older than myself........... I thing I would look at it as an escapade, and look to see if there is a pattern. The last thing I would do as a parent, is freak out, particularly given my own rather broad participation in life, but would try to stay with her in some way. At twenty, it's her life................................. and if I've done my job via discretion and responsibilty, I've gotta cross my fingers and hope the notions stay.....................

 

Man, it's hard to do the math. Please post an age table that I can print out and keep in my wallet (like those "how much should I tip?" credit card-sized tables).

 

If he is having (oral) sex first time you met the sex is all that's all he is interested in. He is promiscous.

Remember you are also having sex with everyone else he had sex before - do you know they were and he is HIV free?

FYI I am a guy.

 

Regardless if you have done a respectable or even exceptional job as a parent, most 20 year olds hold the belief that they are invincible and do not fully grasp the results of their actions and decisions. Plenty of statistics and evidence to back that up.

You can say there is a double standard, but the fact remains that males and females hold different emotional quotient’s, and that gap is huge when relating a 20 year old girl to a 38 year old man.

 

 

Is this thread had a poll I would vote

 

Vote yes to what?

 

the slut question.

 

I wouldn't say slut. Like others mentioned, we don't know her history. But definently easy, too easy IMO.

I personally wouldn't want a serious relationship with a girl that let me go down on her on the first time we met and let me bang her on the first date, but thats me.

But if she doesn't have a problem with it then neither should we, its her life.

But we can most definently have opinions, since she's sharing.

 

I'm not saying she IS a slut for sure. We cant say that with only one story. But if I had to place a $10 bet it would be that this sort of thing has happened before, and will happen again, and again. So all signs point to slut and that where my money would be.

But your right she may just be easy. (Although its a fine line between being easy and being a slut. )

And either way, I'm not trying to offend. If she is a slut, then she should be proud of it. Like she said, she can "fuck whoever she wants".

 

I love this bebate between slut and easy...as if there is an ultimate difference. I wouldnt think it qualifies as a dicotomy like has been defined in this thread.

or does it..

 

there is no difference....easy....slutty...whore....loose....

its all different ways of saying the same thing....

 

Dam guys, I was trying to be nice

 

I guess its debatable and some girls are "easier" or bigger sluts than others, so

Is the 38 year old a slut for doing the same thing? He should be no?

 

I know Just keepin it real

 

I dont think men have a choice in these situations do they?

 

I was just trying to be nice too....

 

omfg in just spit out my coffee at that

you guys are too much

 

this thread needs to be locked

i quit. i can't argue with a bunch of 20-something guys who think with their infinite wisedom that they know so much more than me at their ripe old age. good lord, get a life. i posted a simple question, "what would you guys do?" and instead of it getting answered in a MATURE fashion, i get insulted for pages and pages. gee, thanks for being respectful of someone you don't know.

 

Here's a mature answer to your question... If you like how he eats you and you like to eat some of him then go for it... doesn't matter about age... doesn't matter how much money he has... doesn't matter how big his house is... the only thing that matters is... you think he'll respect you as much as you will respect him??? because you know the age diffrence will come in to play (even though it doesn't matter) his "wisdom" will tell him that you are 20 and that you just wanna :boik:

Just ask yourself: will he respect you as much as you will respect him??? and you will find your answer to what to do...

If not... like other members said... jack him for his cash... get him to get you an RL and then blow him off... (not in that way, you might need to to get the RL... nothings free in this world you know...) anyways... just do it...if it doesn't work out... F$#K It... (again, not in that way...)

One last thing... Also, ask yourself... can you be the kind of person that pride theirself for having so and so quantity of BF's, Flings, etc??? Because in the position i'm in... and i'm proud of it... i can say i've only been with 1 seriouse relationship... with only 1 woman... and thats my wife...

then again... have fun while it last... you only live once... make it a good one...

Hope this helps... Alrato...

Oh and you can all lock it now... i gave my already...

:padlock: as the thread starter said...

 

This is the most amazing amount of insulting misadvice I've seen collected under one thread.

The thread would have been completely different if some 38 year old guy was talking about getting it on with a 20 year old, and I doubt few would have had the nerve to call his companion of the moment a slut.

If it had been a 20 year old guy talking about banging a 38 year old, the thread would have probably been a bit more rowdy, but I am sure he would have gotten kudos for his prowess.

So this young woman shags off a guy who appears not to be serial killer, and they have an extraordinary time together sexually, and apparently find the time to have a decent conversation or two in the process, but she wonders about the age difference.

Where did her question go, and where did the thread get lost? She could have gotten better commentary shouting the question out at the back of a frat bar during a beer break while everyone was frazzed during finals and forgot to take their ludes.

The answer is, she did get a question, for having a sexual adventure that she shared in the initiation of, she's a slut. I personally don't think so. I personally think that she, and another consenting adult had a significant sexual moment. Will it lead somewhere? maybe, maybe not.

Young men are encouraged to, in the arcane language of another generation, sow their wild oats. Who the fuck are they supposed to do that with? deflowered debauched women? They will probably be doing it with women who are also exploring the parameters of behavior. She's entitled, and she's entitled to a modicum of respect the following morning, and she's entitled to a rational discussion about the complexities of the moment.

My marriage was late in life, and by the time I got married, which is rather older than most of the folks on this thread, I had had times in my life where a one-night stand would have constituted an enduring relationship. Not a part of my life of which I am proud, but certainly not one in which I assumed the women with whom I played were to be disrespected because of the brevity of the contact. (and no, I never bought it). In the process, I learned a whole fuck of a lot, about myself, about sexual interchange, about sex vs intimacy.

Cut the young woman some slack for crissakes. She asked a question that, had she been a guy, would have garnered a radically different perception and response.

 

ric,

great post. But the fact of the matter remains - double standards are blazingly prevalent. The dude is wrong for messing around with a young'un and I hope his buddies burn him a new one. Think about it - 20 years old, barely out of high school.

 

ric, I guess we all have our different moral standards, and different definitions of "slut". All I know is I would frown upon any female in my life (daughter, sister, etc) if she did anything like that.

Maybe I am holding females to a higher standard than men, but its only because I think they have more sense about these matters. I admire them for this, and I think its a shame to say "its OK" just because we say its OK for guys. Guys are primal brutes who have thousands of years of programming to be the sexual agressor and unfortunately it cripples our commen sense.

Anyways, i agree with you that its unfortunate the thread digressed so much. She had a serious and legitimate question. But when you lay something out in a public forum like this I guess you have to accept some critisicm.

supermega, if you really want the thread locked pm me (or any other mod).

 

I was going to post a poll to analyze this double standard but I deleted it before I sent it. I figured it would be in bad taste to make an example of her situation.

However, the geek in me is interested to see if our opinions have any shread of objectivity in this matter; or do we truely hold different expectations for women.

 

Best post EVAR!!!

I agree that there is a double standard, but it's only because men are stupid. Yeah, I said it. And yes, I'm a man. Girls make me do stupid things, too.

 

thread starter asked for the lock down.... thread starter gets a lock down...