Need some advice on how to proceed!
10-12-2015, 01:34 PM
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Need some advice on how to proceed!
Alright, so long time Ramblings troller, first time thread started 
Figured I would need some advice on this from people who would be brutally honest with me.
So on to the background story: I've been single for a year a half or so now, came out of a 6 year relationship so I forgot how a lot of this fun stuff works nowadays. I came out of my relationship about the same time I (for now temporarily) relocated for professional school full time to Chicagoland. I figured since school and work keep me pretty busy and I'm very particular about what I want from someone in a relationship that I would try the online dating game. This is a legit dating site, not tinder et al.
I messaged a few girls in the last few months, none of them panned out until l messaged one girl that caught my attention last week on Thursday. She responded right away on Friday and suggested we talk. We exchange numbers and we text for a little bit on Saturday morning since she has clinic hours (she's a chiropractor, 1 year older than me).
So after we exchange some texts, she asks if I'd like to talk over the phone. What I thought would be a half hour conversation turned into 2 hours and 15 minutes. I thought we hit it off pretty good. During the conversation, I asked her if she was planning anything since the weather is nice (she's an outdoorsy type), she said she might go to a bonfire later that night, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to go. She then asked me if I'd like to tag along if she decides to go. I paused and said yeah sure, that would be nice.
She texts me a little while afterwards saying she decided she would go and offered to meet somewhere else beforehand. We met at Starbucks on her side of town where we mostly chatted outside over some hot chocolate for a little while before we went to her friend's house, each in our own cars. I figured that way we would feel more comfortable and it gave me an exit strategy if things went south from there. We get to her friend's house at about 8:00 and introductions were made, were I was simply introduced as her friend, nothing more, nothing less. I tried to chat with her friends either with her next to me or in my vicinity. My honest impression is that her friends did like me, I didn't really see any red flags from her friends. I don't see them discouraging her from me when they probably talked about me later. One guy even commented, off a topic we were talking about, that I gave the impression I really had my life in order, that I'm surprisingly calm and collected for my age (26) and that I gave off an older vibe.
We left together at about 11, and we chatted briefly before we each went our separate ways. I had a 45 minute drive home and I figured I would text her once I got home that I had a good time, etc. My impression that things went well was confirmed when she responded to my text 10 minutes later. She said she had a good time and was glad I came out. Mind you it was past midnight by the time I sent this and she had been to work early that day.
So yesterday, she texted me in a group chat, it was one of those chain messages saying that "if you forward this, you'll get good news in X time". I was driving at the time, didn't think much of it, and I didn't reply. To be honest, I just glanced at it and profiled it as an Ignore message... After that, I figured what the hell, let me text this girl. I remember her mentioning that because of her work schedule she's usually better at texting, and she said she had a lot of patient notes to do that way. So she replies, and I offer to meet to something on the 24th (Saturday). She said that her brother's birthday is that day and she couldn't. I'm gonna quote the last few messages between us:
Me: talked about being unproductive Sunday, offered to meet on the 24th if she's free
Her: Haha same here... Plus all the food I had yesterday made me sick
Her: The 24th is my brother's bday party, I can't, I committed to it first
Me: (I might get some crap about the cake part of this message, I only put it there because she gave me hard time about the fact that I ate two pieces lol) Must have been all the chocolate cake
Oh that's cool, I completely understand. I'd love to have dinner with you sometime. 
Her: You're so sweet... I suppose we can do that sometime. Probably and the pizza hahahahahaha
Me: Hahaha mmmm pizza... I'll leave it up to you since my schedule is more flexible than yours
This was yesterday at about 9:30 at night. I haven't heard from her since, and I figured she's probably at work today, so I don't wanna seem to pushy either.
Now here is where my question comes in, and if you read this entire thing, cudos to you and thank you!! What is my next move at this point? Do I call, text? If so, when do I reach out to her? Did I misread the fact that she's interested in me or am I on the right path that there is something going on here? Thanks guys (and gals)!!!
Figured I would need some advice on this from people who would be brutally honest with me.So on to the background story: I've been single for a year a half or so now, came out of a 6 year relationship so I forgot how a lot of this fun stuff works nowadays. I came out of my relationship about the same time I (for now temporarily) relocated for professional school full time to Chicagoland. I figured since school and work keep me pretty busy and I'm very particular about what I want from someone in a relationship that I would try the online dating game. This is a legit dating site, not tinder et al.
I messaged a few girls in the last few months, none of them panned out until l messaged one girl that caught my attention last week on Thursday. She responded right away on Friday and suggested we talk. We exchange numbers and we text for a little bit on Saturday morning since she has clinic hours (she's a chiropractor, 1 year older than me).
So after we exchange some texts, she asks if I'd like to talk over the phone. What I thought would be a half hour conversation turned into 2 hours and 15 minutes. I thought we hit it off pretty good. During the conversation, I asked her if she was planning anything since the weather is nice (she's an outdoorsy type), she said she might go to a bonfire later that night, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to go. She then asked me if I'd like to tag along if she decides to go. I paused and said yeah sure, that would be nice.
She texts me a little while afterwards saying she decided she would go and offered to meet somewhere else beforehand. We met at Starbucks on her side of town where we mostly chatted outside over some hot chocolate for a little while before we went to her friend's house, each in our own cars. I figured that way we would feel more comfortable and it gave me an exit strategy if things went south from there. We get to her friend's house at about 8:00 and introductions were made, were I was simply introduced as her friend, nothing more, nothing less. I tried to chat with her friends either with her next to me or in my vicinity. My honest impression is that her friends did like me, I didn't really see any red flags from her friends. I don't see them discouraging her from me when they probably talked about me later. One guy even commented, off a topic we were talking about, that I gave the impression I really had my life in order, that I'm surprisingly calm and collected for my age (26) and that I gave off an older vibe.
We left together at about 11, and we chatted briefly before we each went our separate ways. I had a 45 minute drive home and I figured I would text her once I got home that I had a good time, etc. My impression that things went well was confirmed when she responded to my text 10 minutes later. She said she had a good time and was glad I came out. Mind you it was past midnight by the time I sent this and she had been to work early that day.
So yesterday, she texted me in a group chat, it was one of those chain messages saying that "if you forward this, you'll get good news in X time". I was driving at the time, didn't think much of it, and I didn't reply. To be honest, I just glanced at it and profiled it as an Ignore message... After that, I figured what the hell, let me text this girl. I remember her mentioning that because of her work schedule she's usually better at texting, and she said she had a lot of patient notes to do that way. So she replies, and I offer to meet to something on the 24th (Saturday). She said that her brother's birthday is that day and she couldn't. I'm gonna quote the last few messages between us:
Me: talked about being unproductive Sunday, offered to meet on the 24th if she's free
Her: Haha same here... Plus all the food I had yesterday made me sick
Her: The 24th is my brother's bday party, I can't, I committed to it first
Me: (I might get some crap about the cake part of this message, I only put it there because she gave me hard time about the fact that I ate two pieces lol) Must have been all the chocolate cake
Oh that's cool, I completely understand. I'd love to have dinner with you sometime. Her: You're so sweet... I suppose we can do that sometime. Probably and the pizza hahahahahaha
Me: Hahaha mmmm pizza... I'll leave it up to you since my schedule is more flexible than yours
This was yesterday at about 9:30 at night. I haven't heard from her since, and I figured she's probably at work today, so I don't wanna seem to pushy either.
Now here is where my question comes in, and if you read this entire thing, cudos to you and thank you!! What is my next move at this point? Do I call, text? If so, when do I reach out to her? Did I misread the fact that she's interested in me or am I on the right path that there is something going on here? Thanks guys (and gals)!!!
10-12-2015, 01:52 PM
#2
Senior Moderator
Whatever you do, don't put it on a pedestal.
I think most of the times in life that there is a lingering uncertainty of if you should proceed, it's best to take a step back and give it some time. Plan to do something today/this evening that will take your mind off of it. If you sit around all day thinking about it, you risk coming off as desperate or clingy.
Play it cool. Let it brew. Then proceed.
I think most of the times in life that there is a lingering uncertainty of if you should proceed, it's best to take a step back and give it some time. Plan to do something today/this evening that will take your mind off of it. If you sit around all day thinking about it, you risk coming off as desperate or clingy.
Play it cool. Let it brew. Then proceed.
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RL09 (02-02-2016)
10-12-2015, 01:58 PM
#3
with your last text, you left the ball in her court.
if she's like any other busy person, she noted that its her turn to suggest something, but let the text message fall farther down her inbox.
she's a woman, and as much as a strong independent woman she is, she still likes to be pursued.
so, pursue her!
either casually text her into another date suggestion
or be a man and pick up the phone with a plan/date.
if she's like any other busy person, she noted that its her turn to suggest something, but let the text message fall farther down her inbox.
she's a woman, and as much as a strong independent woman she is, she still likes to be pursued.
so, pursue her!
either casually text her into another date suggestion
or be a man and pick up the phone with a plan/date.
10-12-2015, 02:05 PM
#4
Play it cool
Don't be desperate
Let her reach out to you
Don't be desperate
Let her reach out to you
10-12-2015, 03:28 PM
#5
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Whatever you do, don't put it on a pedestal.
I think most of the times in life that there is a lingering uncertainty of if you should proceed, it's best to take a step back and give it some time. Plan to do something today/this evening that will take your mind off of it. If you sit around all day thinking about it, you risk coming off as desperate or clingy.
Play it cool. Let it brew. Then proceed.
I think most of the times in life that there is a lingering uncertainty of if you should proceed, it's best to take a step back and give it some time. Plan to do something today/this evening that will take your mind off of it. If you sit around all day thinking about it, you risk coming off as desperate or clingy.
Play it cool. Let it brew. Then proceed.
with your last text, you left the ball in her court.
if she's like any other busy person, she noted that its her turn to suggest something, but let the text message fall farther down her inbox.
she's a woman, and as much as a strong independent woman she is, she still likes to be pursued.
so, pursue her!
either casually text her into another date suggestion
or be a man and pick up the phone with a plan/date.
if she's like any other busy person, she noted that its her turn to suggest something, but let the text message fall farther down her inbox.
she's a woman, and as much as a strong independent woman she is, she still likes to be pursued.
so, pursue her!
either casually text her into another date suggestion
or be a man and pick up the phone with a plan/date.
Now, I'm almost certain she's interested. There is no way in hell I'm that socially inept at this point, I would have caught something by now. Luckily I have a much busier week with week, and I'm returning to Michigan from Thursday to Sunday. The million dollar question at this point is how long do I wait? I'm definitely going to call her to set something up, and I do have a few ideas, but the question is how long, barring her reaching out to me first...
On a side note, three replies and not one of them asked for a picture. I'm confused
10-12-2015, 03:31 PM
#6
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I just came in here to ask for a pic... 
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10-12-2015, 03:36 PM
#7
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Agreed with others, wait.
Trending Topics
10-12-2015, 03:43 PM
#8
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Like everyone else said, let her contact you first.
+1 for a picture.
+1 for a picture.
10-12-2015, 04:25 PM
#9
Women can smell desperation
Don't matter if you have a light week. Let her reach out to you.
Someone who is in her profession doesn't want a guy sitting at home desperately calling her, or making plans.
Let her reach out. Don't be over eager.
Don't matter if you have a light week. Let her reach out to you.
Someone who is in her profession doesn't want a guy sitting at home desperately calling her, or making plans.
Let her reach out. Don't be over eager.
10-12-2015, 06:52 PM
#10
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You said yall last spoke Sunday night. My guess would be Tuesday or Wed night if she doesn't contact you first.
10-12-2015, 08:59 PM
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Patience is a biiiiiiiiittcchhhhh... She did text me back about an hour ago, I think 2012wagon hit the nail on the head, she probably left work and got back to me... Looks like I just need to work on my patience at this point. I guess I look like a dumbass now don't I?
Alright, so I guess I'm just waiting this out until I'm actually ready to set a date then I'll just call and make a plan.
I guess I don't mind posting the picture she used on her profile since she was OK with sharing that? Mods, does it violate anything if I post a picture she used on her profile?
Alright, so I guess I'm just waiting this out until I'm actually ready to set a date then I'll just call and make a plan.
I guess I don't mind posting the picture she used on her profile since she was OK with sharing that? Mods, does it violate anything if I post a picture she used on her profile?
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2012wagon (10-12-2015)
10-12-2015, 09:02 PM
#12
When I was dating my wife , I did 30 hour rotation shifts at the hospital. When you are on those in house call shifts, your dating life is least of your concern. Then you come home and crash.
So it isn't uncommon to get back to someone in 48-50 hours (especially when it's brand new and things haven't progressed yet)
Be patient , you will be fine .
Additionally you are 26 and came out of a 6 year relationship !!! You moved for graduate school
Concentrate on finishing graduate school. Don't worry about relationships . Bang them as you need them
Once you are done with school, have a real job, plenty of time for the woman of your life
Time is precious, concentrating on yourself at this time is the best thing you can do
Good luck
So it isn't uncommon to get back to someone in 48-50 hours (especially when it's brand new and things haven't progressed yet)
Be patient , you will be fine .
Additionally you are 26 and came out of a 6 year relationship !!! You moved for graduate school
Concentrate on finishing graduate school. Don't worry about relationships . Bang them as you need them
Once you are done with school, have a real job, plenty of time for the woman of your life
Time is precious, concentrating on yourself at this time is the best thing you can do
Good luck
Last edited by 2012wagon; 10-12-2015 at 09:05 PM.
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10-12-2015, 09:14 PM
#13
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When I was dating my wife , I did 30 hour rotation shifts at the hospital. When you are on those in house call shifts, your dating life is least of your concern. Then you come home and crash.
So it isn't uncommon to get back to someone in 48-50 hours (especially when it's brand new and things haven't progressed yet)
Be patient , you will be fine .
Additionally you are 26 and came out of a 6 year relationship !!! You moved for graduate school
Concentrate on finishing graduate school. Don't worry about relationships . Bang them as you need them
Once you are done with school, have a real job, plenty of time for the woman of your life
Time is precious, concentrating on yourself at this time is the best thing you can do
Good luck
So it isn't uncommon to get back to someone in 48-50 hours (especially when it's brand new and things haven't progressed yet)
Be patient , you will be fine .
Additionally you are 26 and came out of a 6 year relationship !!! You moved for graduate school
Concentrate on finishing graduate school. Don't worry about relationships . Bang them as you need them
Once you are done with school, have a real job, plenty of time for the woman of your life
Time is precious, concentrating on yourself at this time is the best thing you can do
Good luck
Yeah I feel ya... 6 year relationship is a year and a half in the rear view now. Looking back on it, it should have ended at 2 to be honest. That's a long story, probably more than you're interested in hearing and more than I'm interested in talking about now.
I guess you're right, I probably should place less emphasis on the outcome of this....
10-12-2015, 09:18 PM
#14
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You say you're a long time Ramblings troller, but this post puts you in the occasional Ramblings light-browser group. You will catch WAY more flak from her finding this thread than you ever would from a mod for posting a picture of anyone. Just keep teh nudez in PM inboxes.
10-12-2015, 09:32 PM
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You say you're a long time Ramblings troller, but this post puts you in the occasional Ramblings light-browser group. You will catch WAY more flak from her finding this thread than you ever would from a mod for posting a picture of anyone. Just keep teh nudez in PM inboxes.
You guys are too funny. Unless she happens to steal my laptop anytime soon, she ain't seeing this thread lol. And you know how some girls look better in pictures than in reality. Throw that out the window here.
10-12-2015, 09:37 PM
#16
More important is a picture of her mother
Because that is who she will turn into
Because that is who she will turn into
10-13-2015, 11:38 AM
#20
Senior Moderator
Learn to be patient, especially with someone that is in the medical field. They get crazy busy and as someone else mentioned, sometimes they forget to "check in" because working with patients gets exhausting.
I work in the IT field and even worked on the support side where response time is NOW NOW NOW. With the advent of the internet we all expect almost instant gratification. Let that shit brew, give her time and space, if she's genuinely interested she will respond and give you time.
It doesn't hurt after a few days just to see how's she's doing and tell her what you've been up to. I don't think that's being pushy at all. Who doesn't like attention and to be pursued? So pursue, but don't be overbearing, there's a fine line but I'm sure you'll figure it out.
She's cute, good luck.
I work in the IT field and even worked on the support side where response time is NOW NOW NOW. With the advent of the internet we all expect almost instant gratification. Let that shit brew, give her time and space, if she's genuinely interested she will respond and give you time.
It doesn't hurt after a few days just to see how's she's doing and tell her what you've been up to. I don't think that's being pushy at all. Who doesn't like attention and to be pursued? So pursue, but don't be overbearing, there's a fine line but I'm sure you'll figure it out.
She's cute, good luck.
10-13-2015, 12:51 PM
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She's cute! 
10-14-2015, 08:54 PM
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Admittedly, she IS really good looking But yeah, I think the take home message here for me is pretty unanimous: patience is key. Thanks everyone! Will update on how this progresses in due time
But yeah, I think the take home message here for me is pretty unanimous: patience is key. Thanks everyone! Will update on how this progresses in due time
10-15-2015, 11:53 AM
#23
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Like Tom Petty said "The waiting is the hardest part"
I've been playing the online dating game for over a year, and you just can't rush it or be pushy. Some chicks see the commercials and think they'll be engaged in a week (avoid these) others are looking to take their time and get to know you. A lot of the ones I've talked to have had super busy schedules, and if they're interested, they will find time to text you here and there. You just have to wait and not be pushy, let them come to you
BTW, nice pics
I've been playing the online dating game for over a year, and you just can't rush it or be pushy. Some chicks see the commercials and think they'll be engaged in a week (avoid these) others are looking to take their time and get to know you. A lot of the ones I've talked to have had super busy schedules, and if they're interested, they will find time to text you here and there. You just have to wait and not be pushy, let them come to you
BTW, nice pics
10-19-2015, 01:55 PM
#24
GEEZER
1. By a new RDX Elite.
2. Buy all your clothes at Costco.
2. Buy all your clothes at Costco.
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10-21-2015, 01:11 PM
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Cliffs?
10-21-2015, 01:55 PM
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10-21-2015, 02:03 PM
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10-21-2015, 02:21 PM
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10-21-2015, 10:11 PM
#34
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10-22-2015, 09:48 AM
#35
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I want to see her lady parts.
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10-22-2015, 12:29 PM
#37
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10-24-2015, 02:13 PM
#38
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
I literally spit food out of my mouth when I read that.I think you already got a lot of good advice - being patient and flexible when dating someone in the medical field is a good idea. It's hard to walk that line between making sure she knows you're interested but not a needy stalker. She sure looks like a keeper however - best of luck!
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1killercls (10-26-2015)
10-24-2015, 09:44 PM
#39
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I'm not reading all this. Did she touch your peepee?
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