Someone needs to begin explaining shit to me about women, because I know it's bound to get worse. I'm going to put this in the shortest text possible, even though this has been about a 2-month thing. I'm going to do cliffsnotes with this one.

- I liked this girl from the restaurant that I work at. Mind you, she's a couple years younger than me (she's legal, thank you) but I guess word travels rather quickly in a place like that. We never discussed my feelings about her, nor ever hung out outside of work.

-She calls me one night on a Sunday while I'm working and asks me to hang out, out of the blue. Okay, so maybe we're getting somewhere... I begin to hang out with her a few nights per week, with her calling to hang out with me most of the time.

-One night, I decide to finally dig up the courage to tell her I like her. The response? ''Matt, I hang out with you because you're a great guy, but I don't like you like that.'' During our about half-hour convo, she tells me how nice I am and compares me to her exes about 40 times. Whatever, I don't want to waste my time... I don't talk to her outside of work for like a week.

-Her response to this? She flips out! She starts calling me three times every day, yelling on the phone to me whenever I tell her I can't talk. She even tries to get answers as to why I'm ignoring her. When I come to her house to finally talk to her, we have an argument which leads to, of all things, a relationship talk. We decide that she's been holding back from me and she's not being true to herself, so we kinda start ''seeing'' each other.

-The problem with this? We never hook up, and we continue to hang out at night like we're just friends. After about a week, I decide to tell her flat-out that I'd just rather be her friend for now because I could tell she isn't feeling it, which leads to the response that she was trying to make me happy by seeing me for the time being. I personally don't really care because I'd rather be her friend for then if it's not gonna work out.

-Then... we go to a party last Saturday. I had a little too much to drink, but despite this I still see her walking down the block with a co-worker of mine. I leave the party and sit on the corner, disgruntled and drunk. She finally comes alongside me and sits next to me with my co-worker. It turns out they were just talking about HIS girl problems, with his girlfriend of 2 years and all.

-This drunken escapade leads to her walking with me towards my house, and us having ANOTHER relationship talk. Again, she doesn't want to go out with me, which really puzzles me because I have plenty of things going for me and we get along incredibly well. This conversation kind of ends sour because she WOULDN'T give me a reason as to WHY she doesn't like me, she just doesn't. I find this incredibly selfish on her part because at least if she said I'm fat or ugly or mean or a loser I'd actually feel better.

-Now, the good part. She calls me on Sunday night while I'm playing poker while she's at a going-away party, and I don't pick up the phone after she calls me about seven times between the Nextel and cell phone. She flips out, ignores me the next day at work, and makes a huge deal about it to other people.

Today... she spent all day at work telling my other co-workers how mean I am and stuff. She also ignored me all day and didn't once look over my way. The girl totally makes a huge fuss over me and sweats me so bad, yet she doesn't like me? Is it just me or is this girl fucking insane? It's really pathetic because she has no reason as to why she doesn't want to go out with me, she always calls me to hang out, and she actually cares about what I do on a regular basis. I've even told her several times (while we're arguing) to say that she'll NEVER want to be with me, and she always says shit like ''I believe in destiny, so I can't say that to you'', or ''I don't know how I'll feel in the future.'' I have a lot of things going for me and I shouldn't be stressing younger girls, but this is just a really upsetting situation because I feel like I'm being played.

What I think? I think when I find another girl (I return to NYU for my soph year next week, that's a start) she'll be crawling all over me and wishing she didn't make the mistake of rejecting me. I have absolutely no answer for this situation, and neither does anyone with knowledge of this situation. I'm thinking of bringing a girl out for dinner tomorrow night to the restaurant to make her jealous but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. I should drop this girl like third-period French but between working with her and how we are right now I just can't do it. Help me please!!! Maybe someone can explain to me what the hell this girl is thinking!

THANKS IN ADVANCE.

 

She is . She has enough psychological problems to not even be a good candidate for a friend. Don't pay her mind any longer. It's not like you've even been friends with her for a year or something. It's been 2 months. Just think, could you imagine being married to someone this neurotic? If the answer is no (as it should be), then get out, NOW. This girl is nothing but trouble. She gets a subconcious kick out of stirring the pot, or rocking the boat. It's a power thing. She has power over you and it makes her high. Say goodbye, and find yourself a SANE WOMAN!

Edit: Not that it's any of my business, but which restaurant pays enough to afford an S4 or an RL?

 

!

Couldn't have said it better. Nothing worse than a female with mind issues.....

 

Why would you try to make her jealous? Those are games girls play. Do you regularly take shit from other people? Is this fun to you? Why is this even being questioned? What are you expecting, a future relationship?

I think you've been emotionally attached. She's not just a pretty face, she's someone you've become emotionally invested in. It's not your fault, emotions are crazy like that, they just sort of happen. But, you're a logical thinker. Think about this for a second, but forget about the fact that she's acting the way she is. Is this really what YOU want? NO, obviously not! So, get rid of the situation. Dump her.

By the way, I hope you've learned to NEVER date a girl from work. NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRR.

Here's a quick story:
A close friend of mine worked at a restaurant and dated a girl he thought was cool. It turns out she's just as psycho as the girl you're talking to. A couple weeks into their "relationship", he drives by work to go home, and he sees her car there later than what she told him she'd leave it there for. So he wonders, and decides to call her to see if she was OK or if she needed help with her car. She says she's at home and about to go to sleep. Anyway, she was cheating on him with another guy at the restaurant. A plot developed around my VERY INNOCENT friend. This guy's a firefigther! The girl filed a sexual harassment suit against him, and he was later suspended without pay. She had NO evidence! Just her complaint was enough to get him fired.

 

I too would like to know this... despite it not being my business.

And seriously. Just drop her. That's a lot of talking, and not enough relating if you get my drift.

 

Either hit it, or quit it. Or hit it and quit it. But either way you gotta get out. Luckily you have an escape (college). The past 4 summers I've had that escape too from all the worthless girls I met at home, but those days are gone, so take advantage of it while you can. It sounds like this girl thrives off of attention and when she doesn't get it she goes insane. Does she come from a broken home by chance?

 

Sounds somewhat like mine, but mine isn't as crazy and extreme.

See thread: https://acurazine.com/forums/dating-relationships-14/ugh-i-dont-get-sometimes-315705/

 

Seriously, from a girls perspective none-the-less, you can and will find someone better. Sounds like she is digging you completely as a friend. I am sure she is attracted to you and does occassionally think about getting a little closer to you, but in the real world, for some strange reason she isn't ready for that. Yeah, that sucks for you. But if you can just get over the fact that she just wants to be friends and be there for her when she needs your company, you might find yourself getting lucky. Here's just a little bit of advice...never try figuring out a girl...you'll never accomplish this unattainable task!

 

You need to listen to Tom Leykis on the radio to start with.

She is not into you so walk away. Tell her that for you, you are looking for more than friendship and since she does not feel the same, you are walking. Just have to be upfront.

 

Woa...like was said before, too much talking and not enough action... the girl is a little wacko and now she has your head spinning fast. Get away from her and get her out of your head.

 

she's psycho drama queen and she loves to play that part.

avoid at all costs, nothing good will come from associating or speaking with her. Drag you down man, dragin you down.

 

drop her. She's an AW.

 

I don't blame you for asking this. Let's just say between my parents giving my sister an overly extravagant wedding three weeks ago and making a deal with my parents if I made a great college and saved them money by commuting, I'd get a nice car. This is basically my deal, plus I'm a waiter making about $200 per night, so I'm going to be assisting with the payments on the S4. I know I'm blessed.

As for the girl, I really don't know what's wrong with her. Mike, to answer your question, she's actually from a fairly wealthy and very tight household and she has two older sisters of 20 and 22.

Does anybody really think that immaturity could just play a role in all this? Like basically that she does like me and she just wants to play games because she knows the ball is in her court? I think this may be it, basically because the girl probably doesn't have as much experience with relationships as I do. I just really can't find any single way why she'd flip out constantly when I don't pay her mind or I drift away from her except for her being immature or her liking me. It just doesn't make sense to me.

 

No.

She's just psycho. Avoid at all costs.

God help you if you actually sleep with her.

 

Guys play this game too!!!

 

P.S. We are crazy. You just have to keep that in mind. We're all emotionally unstable and do crazy things b/c at the time they seem like perfectly sane things to do, but later we realize it was psycho and blame it on our period. That should sum up the majority of your datings years for future reference.


Also- it seems to me like that girl is just not that into you and even if she eventually agrees and hooks up w/ you it will not last cuz it seems to me like she's just (do not take this personally i am sure you are a terrific guy) waiting for something "better" to come up. She also seems like she thrives on drama and you don't seem like you are into the drama. Which could also be another deterent for her. Take the high road- do not do things to make her jealous cuz it just causes more drama (which I'm sure she'll love). Just move on w/ your life, ignore her, don't retaliate by saying n e thing bad. That will make u seem like the good guy and she is the nut job.

 

I miss that excuse to stop seeing a girl SO MUCH. Hey i'm going back to school. Hey I'm heading home for the summer. Hey i'm going to Europe for a few months. Sorry it didn't work out. Now i'd actually have to move and find a new job to pull any of those. Weak.

 

I guess keep her around until you find somthing better... but don't get attached because once you find that (new)cutie you want to slowly drop her like riced out civic..

 

This is so true!

 

She's definately young and nuts. Not that I know anything about going through that

 

19 - a couple of years != legal.

Anyways.. she seems like the Queen of drama queens. Even if you two do end up together, she'll likely drive you insane.

 

Those are the chicks you should be going after. Screw young immature chicks.
Just be careful, the whole loonie thing may be genetic.

 

I'm in same situation as you guys. Started hanging out with a girl back from highschool. We were hanging out as friends for 2 months and after 2 months, she tells me she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone.

She would put her head on my lap, hold my hand and stuff so I thought I had it but

 

You're going to NYU there are millions of people in NY, I bet you can find a better ho in less than 15 mins. Please move on.

 

Slap her in the forehead with your dick and knock some sense into her

 

Oy. Forget her. this is scooter's girl-and i gotta tell ya-you're young-you'll meet lots a women in school........and better to be alone than with some sadistic psycho bitch.

 

wtf scooter your girl is posting now when you have not been here for mad long.

 

at least she is telling you the right thing. please think straight and don't be a dumbass

 

Dude, forget her. When I came home from college, I started hanging with a girl from my school who lived one town over from me. I asked her out like 5 times when we were in school, and nothing. We start hanging out after school, and she tells me how her mother is already writing the wedding invitations.
Basically, I was there to be her emotional crutch when the guys she was screwing were actually screwing her over. One night she calls me and says come over. We hook up and everthing seemed great. The next day she gives me the " I want to be friends" bullshit. So I lay it out for her. Now or never. She can't decide blah blah. I get up and walk away and never look back. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Skip ahead ten years, I'm at a dave mathews concert with some of my friends and bump into one of her friends. She tells me how she's doing and that this girl knows I was the one that she thru away. She then tells me I should call her. I say no thanks, and I am better off without her in my life.

Run away, bro. Far away.........

 

<~ run like this mofo

 

heh. Nice. Maturity and Kharma can be a bitch.

 

I see no evidence from your post indicating that you've been physical with her in any way shape or form. Have you even kissed her?

Talking about relationships, that's a waste of time. You must take action if you're attracted to her. Yes it's risky to make a move. Making a move does not consist of you spilling your guts verbally. Making a move means looking at her dead in her eyes, putting your hand on the small of her back, pulling her towards you and kissing her, then go from there, or doing whatever it is you do to seduce a woman.

Also, you're acting way too needy and you're being way too emotional. It's her job to be emotional, not yours. Lean back. Are you pursuing other women or are you focusing all your attention on her?

It's not that she's being crazy, it's that you're not taking control of the situation and being the dominant man that you should be. If she rejects you move on, no big deal. At least you know you gave it your best shot.