I'd like to know how to go about telling someone you're interested in them when you're not sure if that person likes you.

----stop here if you're offering general advice or are too lazy to read the rest otherwise continue reading-----

Here's my situation:

Ski Trip for Grad 2002...I get drunk on the bus (for the first time in my life, at 18) and I become really rowdy. I end up stealing my friend's seat on the bus, he gets pissed off at me cause I'm taking up two seats and I swing at him and instead hit the roof of the bus, cutting my knuckles. A football player from the back of the bus who I knew as an acquaintance (friend of friend), tells me to come to the back of the bus so I listen. I sit down beside him when he moves over, squishing his girlfriend.

I fall asleep but vaguely remember him putting his arm around me, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend who had heard rumours he was bi. When I wake up, I was laying against his chest and the girl was staring blankly out the window with her arms folded sternly. He says "you're awake!" and kissed me on the cheek. It was slobbery and sorta gross, but I liked it anyway. The entire school already knew about me beforehand so it's not like it was gossip worthy.

Not too much was said about that whole thing afterwards. He was always friendly towards me but the bitch kept him on a short leash. I developed a crush on him after that incident but I kept it to myself.

Fast forward 4 years. I haven't seen him since high school, and one day after work (Tuesday of last week), I look over while doing tricep press, and I see a familiar form on the elliptical machine who smiled wide at me. I'm nearsighted slightly and don't usually wear my glasses, so I walked over and sure enough it's him, except for one difference. Holy damn is he ever hot now! I mean he was cute before but now he's really gotten into shape! We talked for quite awhile while we continued our workout. He stopped cardio immediately when I came over to do weight training with me. Eventually I had to go, so I told him so, and then he asked me what times I work out and stuff, and he told me when he does and what times he works at his job. We didn't exchange numbers though. He's not with the girl anymore either.

Then, I go into the locker room and change and go into the showers. He comes in and picks the one right next to me. I didn't think he was done working out yet because he said he was only half done 5 minutes before, and I told him I was almost finished. We had a nice conversation about the playoffs in the shower and a few other things about his work and that he's still living at home like me. He's not shy at all and dryed off beside me for quite awhile while showing me his tatoos. Then when we finally got out of there he said he was almost late for his fire training at 7pm (which he told me about earlier). If he hadn't spent 20 minutes in the shower next to me he wouldn't have been even close to late.


So, I don't know what to think. Given all this information, I want to take some sort of action, but I'm too scared that I'll be too aggressive. I only saw him once more at the gym while he was already getting in his car to leave as I was arriving. Damn! I forget what his number was because the last time I used it was 4 years ago. I have friends who know it but I'm even too shy to ask them because they'll want to know why I want it all of a sudden.

How do I let him know it's okay for him to make a move on me? I feel like I should be the expert on this but I'm not. Maybe some of the ladies can help? I don't know.

 

If he was on AZ he'd be posting the same thing, me thinks.

My suggestion would be to suggest dinner or "grab a beer" to watch the playoffs or whatever. An action that could be taken either way. Then see how it goes from there.

Good luck, and at his pissed off girlfriend 4 years ago.

 

The playoffs are over and the Oilers lost ....

I'll take some of that advice though. I was going to ask him to go for a run with me, if I can ever get the chance to talk to him!
Should I ask our mutual friend for his phone number or should I wait until I see him again?

 

hell, ask for the #. Who cares what your mutual friend will think. Sounds like you've wanted him for a while, so just go for it.
Just dont get all crazy and call 5 times just cause he doesnt answer. Call him once, if he picks up, fine, ask to grab a beer, or go for that run sometime. If not, leave a message saying you'd like to workout or run sometime. That'll keep things less aggressive and keep you from getting too worked up about it.

 

stop turning straight men gay.

 

I'm sort of scared of leaving a message with his parents since I remember what they're like. But I guess I have to brave it.

 

I wouldnt go to any crazy lengths to get his phone number...seems a bit weird. At least to me it does.

 

Okay, now I've got conflicting opinions. I thought to myself that it would be a little too creepy and/or aggressive to get it from someone else. I'm just going to have to use my knowledge of when he works out to just show up at the gym at the same time. He has a red Trans Am so I can look for it since it's not a common car.

Too bad it's too late for me to post a poll on whether it's okay to sneakily get someone's phone number.

 

Put it this way...

If hes interested in you he'll like the fact that you got his number.
But if he's not he'll be weirded out and you may mess up any possible friendship or anything further.

 

Water-S is :ghey: Who knew?

 

Where's AD when we need him.

 

lubrication is key in these situations

 

You'll run into him at the gym again I would think so there's no reason to go chasing after a phone number.

And play it cool or you'll drive him away. Don't put the sphincter on a pedestal.

Mike

 

He and I are in the same league looks-wise so it's not that.

I'm going to listen to you and Saki and be cool about the whole thing. He's a very very laid back type of guy so that's probably more to his comfort level anyway.

 

um, it seems to me that this guy has done everything he can except write his telephone number on his forehead..... he's taken the locker next to you, toweled off with you, shown off his body art and engaged in a lengthy conversation AND HE HAS ASKED FOR YOUR WORKOUT SCHEDULE/PROVIDED YOU WITH HIS. I would strongly suggest that that means that he is intrested. Probably very interested. Probably very very interested. Generally, folks don't broadly smile, towel off, show off body art and share workout schedules with someone that bores them......

In asking you when you work out and in telling you when he works out, he has defined, in all probability, a "choriography". Either he will show up at your regular schedule (by accident!/?), or you show up at his (certainly not intentionally, just a coincidence......). I would suggest that a few more toweling down scenarios in the men's locker room will lead to the opportunity for intense conversations, an opportunity to get to talk, and then ..... pick up where you left off in the bus four years ago, sans your boozy state and his gf.

I would bet real money that the two of you will be spending time naked in environments other than the locker room in about three to six weeks.....

 

He has practically put himself on a platter. Man up, go to your's and his' scheduled time and talk to him.

 

Is looks all you ever think off?

 

That comment was in response to the "pedestal" comment.

Anyway, thanks for the wakeup call Ric and ATX. I'll try and catch him at one of his times and play it cool and see what happens.

 

I'd suggest you play it direct. He sounds like a no-bullshit kinda guy. the next time you "run in" to him (given that you now have his schedule and he has yours), tell him you'd like to go out. The worst thing that can happen is that he will say no, which - if he is inclined to do, he will, even after you" play it cool". If he's genuinely interested, and he certainly seems to be, he will greet your invitation with a "yes".....

 

The pedestal has nothing (necessarily) to do with looks. It's simply how one person relates to persons in whom he is romantically interested.

Putting someone on a pedestal is usually a big mistake due to the (a) negative reaction of the pedestalee and (b) unrealistic expectations of the pedestaler.

Mike

 

I agree with that statement. And that's still not what I'm doing here. I like him, but he's just another guy like me and I wouldn't be devastated if things didn't work. I'm not obsessed with him.

I would just be very pleased if things do work.

 

i also agree with not getting the phone number. if if hes interested in you, its kind of, stalkerish like

 

I'd wait until you have to work out next time, then just be direct and ask for a number. If he's interested, good. If not, then like everyone has said, he seems like a laid-back kind of guy, so it probably won't be a big deal to him and you can still be friends and work out together.

 

I've been having rough luck working the days while he works the evenings during the week, and we both go at random times on the weekend. Here's to probability being in my favour!

 

I thought so, now I for sure won't.

 

So, I saw him at the gym again. We're going for a run on Sunday! And he just gave me his number without me even asking.

Thanks everyone for the advice!

 

There you go, boy!

 

 

 

Line of the week!

 

And youngTL, make sure you mention your 14 inch penis in conversation. Although somehow I'm sure its already been brought up.

 

We were naked in the locker room at the same time, so I don't have to say anything. I saw him looking anyway. Oh yeah, and it's only 58% of how big you think it is.

 

 

 

Congrats, big guy!

From everything you've said, he's as interested in you as you are in him.