So let's say there is a girl that you are currently friends with who you've talked to off and on for a while, and really started hanging out with about two months ago. After going out a few times, you were slightly buzzed, she was drunk, you have sex in your car in some parking lot. That was over a month ago.

Ever since then you have progressively hung out more, and had sex multiple times. In general there is affection shown by both parties. Even when no sex or alcohol is involved she'll let you lay there with your arms around her, hand holding, some kissing...etc. We've also had a few serious/long talks about things. She stayed over my house last Thursday night and we didn't sleep at all. We had sex 3 times throughout the night, cuddled, talked a lot; yes alcohol was involved, but arrangements to sleep over were made beforehand. We had plans to go out friday night and her stay over again (sleep this time around), but that didn't happen because she was tired (I know that she stayed home and didn't go out with anyone else). Saturday I was with her for about 6 hours.

So my question is simply do you think there is a possible future with this girl someday becoming a girlfriend? I know damn well that I've already started to get feelings for her. Normally when you are a 'friend', you get stuck in the 'friend zone', but 'just friends' don't normally have sex?

cliffs:
- friend that you've had sex with multiple times
- you start to develop feelings
- can this turn into a grilfriend down the road or are you simply stuck as 'a good friend'?

 

I don't see why she wouldn't be GF potential. Unless there's something you left out. Maybe its time you find out if she feels the same way.

 

Anything is possible. If you like her, go for it.

 

pics

 

Well I don't remember how it exactly came out Thursday night but...she told me that she likes me a lot, cares about me, wants me in her life, but right now doesn't see us going past friends. She already knows that i certainly care about her because I've told her and I'm sure it's obvious I have some feelings for her. I (stupidly) believe that things might change over time/she will change her mind about it, and I (stupidly) said something to that effect 2 mins later and her response was it's entirely (or anything's) possible. I think if she felt really strongly about it she would have just said "no it won't". Later on in the night she was the one making the move to kiss me, and touch me...which adds to the possibility things will swing in my favor.

We both have issues we are working on correcting, which I think needs progress to be made on before gf/bf can seriously be in the picture. I think I'm a motivator for her, and I told her on saturday that she is a motivator for me (which is the truth) hoping it would boost her self esteem/know she is helping me.

 

I don't think they will be posted at all...

and I don't understand your new avatar...must be missing whatever it's from.

 

Its a trout....

 

But you've already gone past just being friends. Sounds to me like she wants to keep her options open. I'd continue doing what you've been doing and see where things go. At worst you stop being friends, but fact is, true friends don't have sex on a regular basis so you really wouldn't be losing a friend IMO.

 

Sounds better than some marriages I know of

 

Eh, not so true. I had a very good friend with whom I slept with regularly. Meaning, every night. (She lived with me for a while.) We didn't hold hands in public, or do any boyfriend/girlfriend things. We just had sex. Our feelings never went into a romance zone. It was just fun.

 

I guess there are always exceptions but generally speaking in most cases the relationship/friendship isn't the same afterwards. So many fuckbuddy horror stories.

And from I gather, this isn't someone Adam has known for years, only a couple of months. So it doesn't sound like a great friendship has had time to develop. They pretty much went straight into relationship/sex territory.

 

I don't know if I'd try to be bf/gf with someone if our first time banging each other was in a car. But that's just me. It sounds like she has commitment issues.

 

Is she dating other guys? If not, I see no real need to give the what you have a "title". Therefore, just keep going on as you are and try not to bring up the whole relationship thing as much as possible, because it may have adverse effects, and hopefully it works out for you.

 

Agreed.

 

Would she care if you dated other girls?

 

[QUOTE=AdamNJ]
We had sex 3 times throughout the night
QUOTE]

Three times.Shit you one hell of a man.Give me tips.After two hours of sex I'm wasted!!

 

[QUOTE=nokiaman]
Uhmm.... 3 1-minute sessions throughout the night isn't exactly very taxing


I kid I kid

 

Never seems to work moving forward with friends with benefits. If they were willing to sleep with you with no commitment they're not going to give you any commitment.

 

I think you should just take it for what it is, sex.

IMO Having sex with someone before having an actual date doesn't seem like a good start to a romantic relationship. Maybe I'm old fashioned?

 

Is this someone you really see as girlfriend material? Sounds like you are more into her than she is you (no pun intended). I don't know why it couldn't develop into something more, I'm just not sure I'd want it to from the story you tell.

 

Just do what you've been doing and talk about it with her. A lot of talk is really important. I think this is going into a romantic relationship...

 

Maybe shes afraid of ruining a good thing. if its good, and you both enjoy it, roll with it.

 

I think that it can potentially become a girlfriend/boyfriend situation, just respect her and don't think less of her for what ever you all did in the encounters.

 

Sounds like your in a relationship without it "officially" being made a relationship. I mean you have the sex, the handholding, long talks...etc.

 

Yeah it's not like it was some 3 hour session. Probably sometime after 1am was the first, the second about 10-15 (recoup time). The third was hours later a little after 5am.

 

What makes you say there were no dates involved? Because I said 'hanging out'? Well when words like "so you have to date for xxxx night" are used w/o a "it's not a date", "I want to take you out to dinner", we are alone, and i'm paying for stuff...that's a date to me.

 

Maybe she doesn't want to give what you have a "title"... My experience, it adds unnecessary pressure/responsibility/obligation as opposed to being completely spontaneous/fun. At least this early into knowing her, why not keep going especially since it sounds like she does have feelings for you in return.

 

can a mod fix that for ye 'ol search?

In general it looks like I'm getting the response here that I was hoping for and one that I got from one of my best friends last night while we were talking about stuff for hours. That response is that there is def. a chance, we already sort of have a relationship going, she wouldn't be say and doing certain things if she didn't care/wasn't interested at all...etc.

Thanks for the responses.

 

No, actually I spelt benefits wrong in the thread title. I removed the F*k. I'll fix it.

 

 

I think there is definately a chance.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

 

Oh that's right...sorry for my profanity.

 

it looks like this relationship will go on.. I mean, if she's not going out with anybody but you, then I think there's a good chance that she is only into you. It seems like a really good start man, but I was wondering.. How did you feel about her BEFORE you guys started goin out?

 

I am not sure what to say here...what do you mean how did I feel about her? If I didn't find her attractive I wouldn't have kept going out, spending money and her. If I didn't like her at all I wouldn't have hung out with her. If you are wondering if I started hanging out with her with the intention that I wanted her to be my GF...no that's not the case, didn't even consider that before.