EVOLICARUS

when you get blind sided and feel like shit because this was the girl of your dreams and you both at one time saw marriage and kids and a happy life, only to come home to a empty house with no life in it that use to breathe life in it. I loved her, she loved me, life was great even when it sucked because we had each other. Now its gone, its ripped from me.. life is very sad and empty right now.. sorry for the sad thread.. this isn't new to me, i've been down this road a few times before with other women, but this one hurts the most!

Moog-Type-S

:ibmovetodating&relationships:

princelybug

iTrader: (16)

Sorry, bro. I'm sure you're hurting right now.

EVOLICARUS

sorry! didn't relize or i would've posted in here...

but yeah....it sucks

life was going in the right direction for both of us, very career focused and successful. Both wanted kids and marriage, and we both were in love deeply. we kissed and hugged each other at any given point. We spent everyday and night together. we were the couple that was admired. i can't really explain my love for her, but it involved respect, trust and love.. all 3 things you need. i bought a new house 2 months ago, we lived together, everything was great, only to come home monday night to her leaving me and with no clear answer, but she said she is depressed and dead inside.. what a low blow! i want her to be happy, thats all i ever wanted. she is still very important to me.. i still love her like i did on monday before this happened. i'm just hurt.. and its very lonely right now without her by my side. this bed feels empty, this house is empty.. its sad shit!! this weather sucks, i haven't even seen the sun in a month...

moeronn

Sorry to hear. The most recent one always hurts the most, but being that it was a complete surprise doesn't help matters any.

Were there any signs? Was there a clear reason?

Time will heal and the support and advice of friends and family (not to mention the awesome folks of AZine) will help.

subinf

Sucks.

teranfon

No need to apologize for the thread. Stay focused and stay strong, and eventually you'll put it behind you. Whatever you do, however, don't carry a candle for her too long as it will only make the healing process that much more longer, and don't let the experience sour any experiences that will come later in life.

Best of luck.



Terry

Anachostic

When you say "I bought a house", do you really man that you alone bought a house? I know I've had the feeling when living in someone else's place that I was always a visitor. Could that possibly be something she felt? Obviously it should have been discussed but if she held it in all that time without saying anything, you couldn't have known.

EVOLICARUS

she wanted a ring, i almost bought it back in dec.. i told her lets do some more shopping around.. i think she thought since i didn't do it then, i never would. then she wanted a dog, which i understand..she gave up her last dog due to her job being very demanding.. and i already had a dog, but she wanted a dog for herself and together with me, which i understand..i explained that she can get a dog and i will help train it at her place until its potty trained, then we can bring it out here. i have brand new carpet and nice furniture, i don't want to ruin it, she didn't like that decision and was upset. i went through the dog thing before, this is how i have my dog now, my last g/f and i bought a dog together, the relationship didn't work and there was mad drama for a year over the dog, i told her this, and she still was upset ...she still had her own place, but after i bought my house, she moved alot of her stuff out here, and never went back to her place but maybe 3 times in the 2 months. i wanted her to stay at her place every once in a while so we could have some downtime and not get bored, but she said she didn't want that. so i just quit talking about it.. i did so much for her this time around, and i feel like i'm being punished for being a good guy and taking care of her.. i was committed, i gave her the keys to my house and told her marriage is on the horizon along with kids and a future. my only guess is that she got lost within herself and needs to find herself again. dude! it blows!! i'm sad, not sad enough to drink and not sad enough to date.. i'm just sad to the point of talking everyones ear or eyes off

EVOLICARUS

i did buy the house by myself..she called it our home, sometimes i would joke around and say it was mine because she still owned her condo, but never stayed there..

she could've felt like a visitor still, but she stayed out here everynight, i gave her the keys to my place.

come to think of it, this makes sense since you said it, 3 weeks ago, we had an argument over her getting a dog and keeping it here, i told her to go home to her home for the night so i could have some downtime, she took it as i'm kicking her out.. i messed up!! she prolly thought she was a visitor here and started to think differently

dallison

sorry to hear.

1StGenCL

So sorry to hear but on the plus side you didn't buy the home together. Maybe she did feel like you were never going to marry her but this is a bit extreme. Women can be that way tho and like Terry said, don't hang onto her too long because she will take over your life despite not being in it.

Get out with friends, have a few (read few) drinks, take on a new hobby, and start exercising more. As gay as it sounds, concentrate on yourself and things will get easier plus with things like exercise, you will be more attractive to women when you are ready.

Best of luck

gatrhumpy

iTrader: (1)

That stinks man. So because you didn't buy her a ring, she left? She knew you loved her and was commited to her, so I don't know what to say.

miner

The 'mones took over her thinking processes. She made the initial step to leave, let her think it over. It has to be her decidion to return without influence from you. She was already aware how you felt - nothing you can say to her now.

jupitersolo

Sorry to hear, but don't blame yourself for anything, it takes two to have a life together. If shes unable to talk to you about it, don't blame yourself.

Mike 350Z

I don't know if that was the straw that broke the camel's back, I mean couples fight and argue, it's part of life. It doesn't mean that she has to pack up and leave. There's probably a deeper reason or a combination thereof. It's hard not to over-analyze at this point but try not to.

subinf

x2

And if it was then there was something else going on

SG81

iTrader: (1)

sorry to hear. go spend some time with the guys and clear your mind

gypsygirl

You sent her home when the mood struck you. You sent her away when she just wanted to share something as easy as a dog. You gave her nothing but pipe dreams about making the committment of marriage. You led her on by talking about it, but not doing it. You say you were inseprable, but you didn't want her to give up her condo so that you could get rid of her when you get annoyed... rather than problem solving....and at you age, you still wonder why she left??? I'm sure she has her issues too, but by now you should be able to figure this one out.

Hormones??? Oh please! Drop the blame game. He doesn't need to fix what she did wrong. He needs to fix what he's doing wrong, so that next time it won't happen.

I'm sorry you're in pain, friend, but if this isn't the first time this has happened, maybe it should be looked at. Take some time to self explore. Be honest with yourself. Doesn't really matter what you tell us, just be honest with YOU!

I'd love to hear you telling us all about a true sharing and loving relationship at some point. It will happen for you someday, I'm sure.

Souljah

Hey Evolicarus,

First of all, it is beyond "sucks". I want to say I know what you are feeling right now.
Ended a two year relationship right before Thanksgiving. It sucks when everything reminds you of her. To this day, I still think about her.

What has helped me move on is to actually delete her number from my iPhone and email from Outlook.

EVOLICARUS

i wanted her to sell her condo since she was never there. I told her i would help her get it cleaned up and ready to sell.. she just never wanted to go home and do it..i believe she could've been in love with the idea of marriage and not truly in love with me. who really knows. i told her in oct/nov i would marry her soon.. i didn't think that getting a ring in the next month was the plan, i told her i'm commited 100%. i'm not saying i'm perfect, i'm not, she isn't either...but we didn't have to make it work, it just worked. i am blaming myself alot here, i'm overthinking everything..she has my support! i have told her i'm here still for her, and my phone is always open. she texted me back saying, 'your the only one that understands me" and "thanks for believing in me when i can't seem to" so i'm there still even though i'm hurting!

EVOLICARUS

yeah, i want to keep her number only because i truly love her and want her to get happy again with or without me. i don't want her to feel completely isolated if she calls and i don't answer to help her. i did delete facebook to protect her and me for exposure to each others comments from other people or what i'm up to now..

paz840

iTrader: (2)

That sucks James, but it's probably for the best. Sounds like there was a lot more giong on than just dog issues. She needs some time to get her mind right. Let her go and move on for your own sanity.

EVOLICARUS

i do honestly want to move on, but this is the hardest part since she works in the same building as me.. it really sucks...its a lose lose situation.. all my friends and family are an 1hr to 3hrs away...

EVOLICARUS

i asked her what was wrong with me, she said i'm bad about answering my phone when she calls. (i don't answer 100% of the time) i usually call right back though.. and that i changed my password on my PC. (but i told her the PW after i changed it). she says she been struggling with work lately and has some health issues with her type 1 diabetes. i told her i understand but not to shut me out and lose some support if you need some help getting through these tough times.. i said don't quit this just because some things are tough.. this just made me think she gives up way to easy and there is no way she could handle marriage. she did leave me last summer for 4 months when i became sick with lyme disease.. i didn't want to bring this up, but like before, we both aren't perfect.. but she left me at my weakest point last summer when i was deathly ill.. and i forgave her, and now i'm here for her if she needs help.. i honestly think i'm the one that has given everything, you can't rush things, i felt alot of pressure really quick on the engagement. and it did stress me out.. its a long road ahead i know it..at least i have my dog

subinf

For her to just up and leave though? That seems a little extreme. Surely you can't focuses solely on him as being the issue - seems like she has some deep seeded issues or something beyond just him dropping one or two things which might have been taken the wrong way.

Whiskers

Go find her and get her back! Go!! GO!!

subinf

Can paypall help with this?

Mike 350Z

She left you when you had Lyme disease? Wow....

Whiskers

Just call them....

jeffd1985

Keep your head up man! there is always one person listening weather or not your talking to him!!

EVOLICARUS

she did! i needed her most then..i was going through a month of hell. i wanted her to go with me to see LLMD (lyme literate medical doctor) 2 hrs away, because i wanted some support.. she didn't answer her phone and the next day she dumped me because she said i had to many health issues.. i was broke already and then my tests came back positive for lyme..and she wasn't there, she was out partying and having sex with a rebound guy, in the meantime i was going through some major stuff..


i was 100% commited like before.. i told her i bought this house for our future! she went with me when i was looking at houses, she went to the offer table, and helped me move in, helped set up stuff, moved some of her stuff in... a ring is a promise forever, but you have to give me some time to get settled into a new house and a few months the ring would come...

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

and you took her back? Wow! i think this is the best thing that could have happened to you.

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

and your crying over her. WTF!

ASASN21

You took her back after that?? Damn...

EVOLICARUS

yeah, i was the fool! i got played! talking about this and seeing this from someone else perspective is more of an eye opener than family and friends that are bios

EuRTSX

Damn.. sorry to hear. But time will only heal past wounds.

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

a woman who would leave you at your most weakest point is rediculous. what if you married her, she probably would have divorced you after she found out. like i said before this is a blessing in disguise.

piggydog

Dude I know it sucks but for reals any woman who would bail on you at that moment is not even someone I would consider a friend much less someone who you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. Sometimes I think honor is something only a few men, and dogs know about. Not sure women even understand it.

(Cj)

MOVE ON !!!!!!!!