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BIGG problem... got a girl pregnant

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Old 08-21-2004 | 11:40 AM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by ghost_masterCL
If I'm fertil enough to get someone pregnant while they're on bc from just pre cum then I sure the hell ain't gonna risk it again.
Actually I heard pre cum has a higher concentration of spermies than the regular load.
Old 08-21-2004 | 11:44 AM
  #42  
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Abortion is legal in ALL states.......Roe v. Wade, anyone? THe reason that people go to a 'mom and shop, abortion chalet' is because some states require people under the age of 18 to have parental consent and what not. Since you are both adults, go to Planned Parenthood and get a list of abortion providers.
Old 08-21-2004 | 12:36 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by GeishaGirl
Dna testing can be done before birth with amniocentesis right that was my understanding...so I didn't think I was making a contradictory statement
Why you getting all 'college' on us??? Using school words and shit, niggas like us don't understand that shit....
----------------------------
Originally Posted by fast_daddy_car
whatever you do, do not marry her for the child. that is the worst thing for everyone, including the child (you would end up hating her, everyone would hate the child, and you would end up divorced anyway). its up to her if she wants the child or not. no matter what she decides, just be supportive (and don't say the "i love you" phrase). you may want to contact a lawyer to find out the child support laws for your state. paying child support will be much better for you rather than marrying her (since you earlier stated you are not looking to marry her anyway).
with just child support, you can still finish school, get into a good career, and still spend time and support the child.
fuckin I think he speaks from experience, eh???
------------------------------
Originally Posted by CLpower
condoms aren't 100%
Yeah, we already deciphered that, but thanks for playing.....
------------------------------
Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
Actually I heard pre cum has a higher concentration of spermies than the regular load.
Are you serious??? I might have post a thread similiar to this in a few days....
------------------------------
rezurex, just like everyone says:
1. Makeup with her, this will calm her down,
2. Act supportive, even if the your not.... the last thing you want is anger involved
3. Find out if the kid is your (tactfully)
4. Talk to her about options and try to convince her that abortion might be a solution. (for your sake, I hope she older than 18, you don't need a parent's permission then)
5. NOT RECOMMENDED, but if this happened recently, she might beable to take pills that may induce abortion unknowingly....ask around...
Good Luck playa, do what i am going to start doing, wear protection and duct tape that shit so that shit don't ever slide off....
Old 08-21-2004 | 12:44 PM
  #44  
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damn your 21 and your having a kid, if she doesnt get an abortion

to the rest your fun life
Old 08-21-2004 | 03:07 PM
  #45  
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Originally Posted by Chinisimo
all these talks about abortions is making me sick
deal with it. It is a safe and LEGAL option...
Old 08-21-2004 | 03:15 PM
  #46  
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http://phyld.ucr.edu/Mechanics%202/M-10K.jpg
Old 08-21-2004 | 03:20 PM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by jimcol711


Thats so wrong, yet so funny.
Old 08-21-2004 | 03:32 PM
  #48  
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thanks for all your advice guys... well i had a LONG ass talk with her last night... we made up and everything so everything is much calmer now. she still didnt tell her parents about it.. neither did i. if she does tell her parents about it, she's pretty damn sure she can't have an abortion and we would probably have to get married (strict catholic parents... ). the other route would be to have an abortion... which i found out costs a good amount of $$. she's still not committed to the idea of an abortion but she's warming up to it... she kept asking me if push came to shove would i be able to marry her. i gave her a non-commital answer, but the talk of marriage is making me really uneasy and makes me want to just run away from this whole situation. how can i at 21 have a kid and wife?!

anyone know how much an abortion is in NY? there goes my plans for a SC this fall...

thanks for your advice guys.

-rez
Old 08-21-2004 | 03:40 PM
  #49  
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400-500 bucks for an abortion at planned parenthood. mommy and daddy never even have to know it ever happend
Old 08-21-2004 | 03:41 PM
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i know this raises the whole pro-abortion/ pro-life issue, and this is just my OPINION

but you guys made a kid, you stated that there were several times where you pulled out.

I really think both of you should own up to your responsibility. She WILL regret it later in life that she killed her child, I have yet to meet one woman who had an abortion that didnt regret it later. I really think it is irresponsible and immature to just run away from what you did by killing the child. And you need to make sure it is truly yours before you pressure her into killing the fetus.

Bottom line is BOTH of you made a child, a living creature (or soon to be for those that are all technical, whatever) and because you cant "deal" with it, the kid is gonna die. I personally know people who have had kids and sucessfully finished college and lived happily with a child.

Now tell her that youre not ready for marriage, and thats it. you can still be a supportive father (if you choose to go that route) without marrying her. She's still worrying about her parents. Her parents are her problem and theyre going to have to deal with her being pregnant. you shouldnt have to marry her to keep her parents from getting mad.
Old 08-21-2004 | 04:17 PM
  #51  
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Did you or did you not bang her raw and pull out occasionally?
Old 08-21-2004 | 04:22 PM
  #52  
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damn.. I am willing to donate for an abortion. You guys are WAY tooo young.
Old 08-21-2004 | 05:09 PM
  #53  
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what about giving it up for adoption?
Old 08-21-2004 | 05:14 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by TypeSAddict
Abortion is legal in ALL states.......Roe v. Wade, anyone? THe reason that people go to a 'mom and shop, abortion chalet' is because some states require people under the age of 18 to have parental consent and what not. Since you are both adults, go to Planned Parenthood and get a list of abortion providers.

Thanks for clearing that up Do you know if there is a limit to how many months you can be when they do the abortion? I have a friend in a BAD situation, possible drug baby etc, and she is saying that she can't find a doctor that will do it because she is kind of far along. I am not trying to push her into getting one or anything, its her life, but just for informational purposes.
Old 08-21-2004 | 05:17 PM
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normally its illegal after the first trimester.
Old 08-21-2004 | 07:46 PM
  #56  
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silviagto i definitely understand what you mean... if in the end the baby gets born i won't run, i will own up to the responsibility of my actions.. i already told her whatever happens i wont leave her just because of this situation.. its not like she got pregnant by herself, or that she wanted this to happen or anything. i would rather not have the child... but we'll have to see how things play out. in the end the decision is really hers. after all its her body, i can't and won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

a question i have for you guys is, how can i tactfully ask her to check if the baby is really mine? i dont want to offend her in any way... but i think that should be a first step before i go out and start dropping money for an abortion.. its been a little difficult to bring up the subject when we talk, i dont want her to get upset again... her mood has been a real rollercoaster lately, with good reason...

thanks for all your advice.
Old 08-21-2004 | 07:48 PM
  #57  
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^ if you end up keeping the baby, tell her your parents are insisting that their is a DND test...
Old 08-21-2004 | 07:50 PM
  #58  
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Rez, did you use a condom 100% of the time you had sex with her or not? Answer my question and we'll take it from there.
Old 08-21-2004 | 08:20 PM
  #59  
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sorry batin i meant to address your question but i forgot to.. the answet is i did use a condom but sometimes i would take it off and shoot it...
Old 08-21-2004 | 08:26 PM
  #60  
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Originally Posted by rezurex
sorry batin i meant to address your question but i forgot to.. the answet is i did use a condom but sometimes i would take it off and shoot it...
Then you did not use the condom properly. You should always bust your load in the condom, not on her body. You just increased you chances of being the daddy according to your actions, but I'd still make sure you were the only sex partner she had. One sure fire way of finding out is to hire a private investigator, he can find out anything for you, past or present.
Old 08-21-2004 | 08:35 PM
  #61  
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shyt, thats messed up....

my mom threatened me with death if a girl ever came over to her home and said she was carrying my baby..

those small Indian moms can kick ass...

anyway, i am 36 and i have never had a scare like you are having... i would make sure the kid is your by whatever means it takes... chances are its your, and then you guys gotta decide what to do...

it does surprise me that abortion is such a free and open option though...i have known a few women that have had abortions and to this day they are mentally screwed up over it...

i know keeping the kid isnt an option for you guys either, but i would think long and hard before doing anything drastic... i understand that where dollars and cents are concerned that $400 for an abortion is cheaper than a lifetime of payments and stress, but do you know for sure that after the abortion that you and the girl will be guilt free??

i mean it is a life after all... i am pro choice, so do what you gotta do... but this should be a huge wakeup call for those that take sex too casually...it can f*ck your life up literally...

i will pray for you and the girl and hope that you guys make the best choice for yourselves...

peace and good luck...

Kumar
Old 08-21-2004 | 08:36 PM
  #62  
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condoms are not 100%
they DO fail!!
Old 08-21-2004 | 09:01 PM
  #63  
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sigh... if anything this is a wake up call to the young'ns out there on a-cl... ALWAYS USE BC AND RUBBERS.. seriously.. this shit can happen to you... you seriously dont want to be in this situation.. i've been stressing the fuck out these days can't fucken sleep..
Old 08-21-2004 | 09:08 PM
  #64  
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Condoms are 95% effective when used properly. Your chances of being the daddy are pretty slim. Did she rub your load on herself or something?
Old 08-21-2004 | 09:15 PM
  #65  
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Originally Posted by rezurex
hey fellas (and ladies)... i've been pretty stressed these past few days. I've been dating this girl i met at school for the past few months.. she was a virgin the first time we had sex and we've been doin it pretty hardcore for the past few weeks she was not taking BC but i've been careful to keep my tool wrapped just in case... well. the other day we got into a big fight over something stupid and we didnt talk for a few days... i call her a couple days later and try to talk it over but she still acted like a psycho and so i said that we should take a break for awhile. then she drops the bomb and tells me she missed her period and that she took a pregnancy test and that she was pregnant immediately i thought she was pulling a fast one on me due to the timing of her telling me... well i took her to a ob/gyn the other day and its confirmed that shes pregnant... im not sure what to do.. we're not fighting anymore and the situation is a lot calmer... there's no way i can have a kid now, likewise with her, but she has issues with abortion and i can use some advice.. thanks

-rez
I am relaying a message from dark..he said when he gets back in town and settled, he was to talk with you about your situation and med school....
Old 08-21-2004 | 09:28 PM
  #66  
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Originally Posted by ABreece
Take her to six flags or cedar point and have her ride one of those "power tower" rides 6 or 7 times. No more baby problems
or a hot tub for a couple of hours
Old 08-21-2004 | 09:29 PM
  #67  
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I don't think I will ever bareback it again. Last time I barely got out before I busted, and I also think and am pretty sure I'm a dripper. Hopefully I won't have any scares in a few weeks with a kid on the way. As to peeps reading this thread who don't want to be put in a situation like rezurex.... Sex Can Wait Masturebait.
Old 08-21-2004 | 09:30 PM
  #68  
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Originally Posted by ABreece
Take her to six flags or cedar point and have her ride one of those "power tower" rides 6 or 7 times. No more baby problems
Oh god that's terrible. Honey there's a baby in the toilet.
Old 08-21-2004 | 10:38 PM
  #69  
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Originally Posted by SilviaGTO
i know this raises the whole pro-abortion/ pro-life issue, and this is just my OPINION

but you guys made a kid, you stated that there were several times where you pulled out.

I really think both of you should own up to your responsibility. She WILL regret it later in life that she killed her child, I have yet to meet one woman who had an abortion that didnt regret it later. I really think it is irresponsible and immature to just run away from what you did by killing the child. And you need to make sure it is truly yours before you pressure her into killing the fetus.

Bottom line is BOTH of you made a child, a living creature (or soon to be for those that are all technical, whatever) and because you cant "deal" with it, the kid is gonna die. I personally know people who have had kids and sucessfully finished college and lived happily with a child.

Now tell her that youre not ready for marriage, and thats it. you can still be a supportive father (if you choose to go that route) without marrying her. She's still worrying about her parents. Her parents are her problem and theyre going to have to deal with her being pregnant. you shouldnt have to marry her to keep her parents from getting mad.
You hit it right on Sylvia. Sorry to hear, but you should have made sure your GF was using BC too. Abortion can cause permanent damage to the woman, along with mental anguish and guilt years down the road. Good luck.
Old 08-21-2004 | 10:50 PM
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Originally Posted by rezurex
silviagto i definitely understand what you mean... if in the end the baby gets born i won't run, i will own up to the responsibility of my actions.. i already told her whatever happens i wont leave her just because of this situation.. its not like she got pregnant by herself, or that she wanted this to happen or anything. i would rather not have the child... but we'll have to see how things play out. in the end the decision is really hers. after all its her body, i can't and won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

a question i have for you guys is, how can i tactfully ask her to check if the baby is really mine? i dont want to offend her in any way... but i think that should be a first step before i go out and start dropping money for an abortion.. its been a little difficult to bring up the subject when we talk, i dont want her to get upset again... her mood has been a real rollercoaster lately, with good reason...

thanks for all your advice.


i cant help you with asking her for the dna test though. cause in all honesy, if it were me, and i hadnt been sleeping with anyone else, and my boyfriend asked me that when iw as carrying his child, I would be SUPER pissed.
dont know what to tell you
Old 08-21-2004 | 10:57 PM
  #71  
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silvia thats exactly what im afriad of... i dont want to accuse her of anything shes been nothing but very straight with me.. not sure how i will handle that one..
Old 08-21-2004 | 10:59 PM
  #72  
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Originally Posted by TypeSAddict
Abortion is legal in ALL states.......Roe v. Wade, anyone? THe reason that people go to a 'mom and shop, abortion chalet' is because some states require people under the age of 18 to have parental consent and what not. Since you are both adults, go to Planned Parenthood and get a list of abortion providers.
I believe that the laws you are referrring to merely require that the parents be informed. There is no law which requires parental consent.
Old 08-21-2004 | 11:05 PM
  #73  
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I'm not going to get into the whole pro-choice/pro-life issue. I will say that I was in a similar situation about 20 years ago. We decided to abort. We continued dating for another year or so and broke up for other reasons (she made a career choice and moved). We are still friends and in contact to this day. We both have families and I can tell you that the subject has come up on a few occasions and there is not a thread of regret or guilt whatsoever on either side. We were too young. Period.

As far as anyone advising you to keep the child, I'd suggest you demand that they open a bank account and begin depositing money immediately so that they can help finance its' care and feeding. Take it from one who knows...it isn't cheap. It's very easy to give advice like this when one isn't writing the checks. And relying on your local clergy for help after delivery will be like looking for a floor worker at Home Depot on a Saturday. Be rest assured that despite having millions of dollars to send to anti-abortion lobbyists, houses of worship have no intention of subsidizing your little mis-adventure either.

IF (and that's a big "if") you're planning on marrying, keeping the child may be a viable consideration. But whther anyone likes it or not (and at the risk of some folks disliking me on this board), I will tell you that abortion and adoption are very legal and very legitimate options in this country. If you are not willing to get married and make this a team effort (that means sharing the joys AND the heartaches, as well as the expense), I suggest you consider them both.

Please think it through carefully...and good luck.
Old 08-21-2004 | 11:17 PM
  #74  
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it really depends on the woman, whether or not she can live with (or not regret) having an abortion, i know a couple girls...well, women actually, who have each had an abortion and it is absolutely no issue with them at all, no regrets, nothing but happiness that they made the right choice for them at the time. some women are just capable of realizing that it was the best thing to do and have no problem living with that. others may sit around and dwell on it forever and regret it.
Old 08-22-2004 | 12:07 AM
  #75  
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its just intresting to me that abortion was mentioned on this thread, long before adoption was. Also the ratio of abortion suggestions to adoption ones tell a sad tale of society today. murdering bastards!!
Old 08-22-2004 | 12:23 AM
  #76  
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Abort! Abort! Abort!

http://www.abortion.com/abortion_cli...ate=New%20York
http://www.plannedparenthood.com/

Good luck. From your posts it does not sound like either one of you are ready for parenthood. Next time consider a better method of birth control.
Old 08-22-2004 | 12:52 AM
  #77  
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damn rez, i cant imagine being in your sitation at this age

ay, pm me if a need any help coming up with some $$
Old 08-22-2004 | 01:04 AM
  #78  
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Originally Posted by GeishaGirl
Thanks for clearing that up Do you know if there is a limit to how many months you can be when they do the abortion? I have a friend in a BAD situation, possible drug baby etc, and she is saying that she can't find a doctor that will do it because she is kind of far along. I am not trying to push her into getting one or anything, its her life, but just for informational purposes.
in texas there are 2 clinics that will do it up to 24 weeks.
Old 08-22-2004 | 01:33 PM
  #79  
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sorry about your situation. IMO the bottom line is there are other options besides keeping it and aborting it. just make sure you research all your options. you'll know what's best in the end.
Old 08-22-2004 | 02:07 PM
  #80  
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Originally Posted by ericrox
...just make sure you research all your options. you'll know what's best in the end.
In the end, you have no options. It's her choice whether or not you become a father, and whether you have financial responsibility or not. You are SOL when it comes to the bottom-line decision.


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