Majofo

Majofo

Horreee shiettt Taco.. get it together..

Majofo

Hot sauce:

Majofo

Hero

thoiboi

Majofo

cu2wagon

Urinal user level: Alpha as Fuck --

thoiboi

free sanitizer?!!?

Majofo

I can still remember that redneck cuck asking that boywonder, this isn't a piss bucket is it??? LOLOLOLO yah man!

cu2wagon

It's "Taco used to be 5'9" (175.26 cm) before he met his amateur proctologist GF" complicated.

Majofo

Westside Tuesday

Majofo

mary jane wine, you probably never heard of it.. cuck!

cu2wagon

Mary Jane wine? Sounds delicious. I bet it goes well with an El Phallus-ende cigar. One of those big brown ones that have been hand conditioned to just the right size. Just stick to in your mouth and go to town on it. Cuck!

UlsterBoy13

dudes! i feel like that 50 tacos dude (and prob resemble him a little except his sneakers are cooler) but this morning i went off on my merry way to work and then had this gut feeling i had made a mistake, turned round and drove the couple miles back home and sure enough i was right, pulled into driveway and i had left the family car trunk open all fucking night long. got busy unloading groceries last night and then mini me #2 diaper and what not and i forgot to close the trunk.

thanks God nothing happened, and gut instinct FTW! earned itself a hamburger or something today, or 50 tacos!

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

UlsterBoy13

yeah we know J that would never happen to you cuz you would have noticed it while using a slide rule on the edge of your lawn at 2am to check that everything was on point!

Sorry to bore you! Thats what he said!

cu2wagon

I had that feeling once...

Had left the garage door open over night on accident.

Got robbed.

UlsterBoy13

sorry Culo! i was like oh shit, please tell me Mini me #1 little dvd player still there, please tell me car is still there! wife had a crap load of returns in the trunk too! and we been having a rash of thefts and break-ins around here lately.

thoiboi

Thieves probably saw it and be like, "OH SHIT, that's a trap.. way too easy. bait car.. PASS" Fool me once pigs... shame on you.

cu2wagon

Thankfully, the guy that robbed me was just acting on opportunity. Walked into the garage, grabbed a few plastic tool cases and walked out. Got a circular saw, a dremel, a multi-piece socket set, and a reciprocating saw.

I didn't think about it soon enough, but I found it all on craigslist later in the week. Was too late to do anything.

I learned my lesson about unpacking the truck, exhausted, after a long weekend away from home. And it's made me almost pathological about checking that the cars are locked, doors are shut, etc. before going to bed.

And boobie traps.

thoiboi

yeah definitely a crime of opportunity. Sucks though cul0 My only burglary case was when I was in FL going to a nearby mall (really close to @rockstar143's house, coincidentally). I walked in for 20 minutes and walked out and as I was walking toward my rental, i hear the alarm go off and the trunk open... WTF?! I run towards it and see a black dude go to the trunk, grab my work bag with laptop and everything and I yelled at him and chased him, he ran into his getaway car with the other friend (white Dodge magnum) and took off. In hindsight, i also left my iphone in the center console so whoops.. I know I locked the car so when I called the cops and told them what kind of car it was (Dodge charger) they said it was stupid easy to break into those.. really all you need is a flathead screwdriver or a pair of scissors into the keyhole, turn, open..


I did memorize the license plate and then called the PD and they ran the plates and said they would send a car to the place of residence but nothing came of it.. I kept an eye out for my laptop or bag on CL for the next few months but nothing came up. Luckily AmEx reimbursed me for the bag and work just gave me a new laptop though..


The insult to injury was when Hertz charged me to 'repair' the door lock.. asswipes.



/csb

cu2wagon

Oof. Charging you to repair the lock... That's just adding insult to injury.

I bet it really...

thoiboi

Yeah.. i was SHOCKED when I got the bill..


Needless to say, the potential for return bookings diminished quite quickly..

it was an electrifying experience though..





fucking nerds...

cu2wagon

Oh, my...

thoiboi

HI @*.jpg


Care to partake in our lame dad jokes?

thoiboi

I'm glad we're on the same wavelength with these jokes cul0..


They're shockingly hilarious..

cu2wagon

*.jpg

I do enjoy a good lame dad joke, being one myself.

cu2wagon

Oh, well hi lame dad joke... I'm dad.

No wait.

Did that work?

I'm not sure that worked.

Majofo

They didn't steal your spare shoes??!?!?!?!



I've left my garage open a few times by accident. Both cars get parked though..
..and I have a silhouette paper target hung up in the middle of the garage.
..center mass is hollowed out and head shot to shit.. cuck!
I'm sure in Houston, that's just an invite to steal the guns as well. fuck!

your savagery has no bounds..

Also.. don't leave your shit in the trunk or car ladiboi.
I told my co-worker the same before visiting Hawaii.
He had his laptop jacked as well.. his response.. but I left it in the trunk?!?! ULTIMATE CUCK!
In Hawaii.. we just take a long ass pry bar.. like 3 - 5 foot and leverage against the trunk.
Pops every time.

If it happens to you again.. just burn the car down cky style

Majofo

Thieves would jack a car in fucking seconds. Tourist literally pull off to a lookout, park and walk (lookout less than 200 ft)
The thieves who are prowling would then pop the trunk and be on the road before the tourist take their first pic.
Also, don't yell and give them a jump if they jacking you.. just run up and

Majofo

In Texas, you can chase a car thief and kill them.. legally.
Definitely don't fuck around here.

Majofo

Sec. 9.42. DEADLY FORCE TO PROTECT PROPERTY.

A person is justified in using deadly force against another to protect land or tangible, movable property:

(1) if he would be justified in using force against the other under Section 9.41; and

(2) when and to the degree he reasonably believes the deadly force is immediately necessary:
(A) to prevent the other’s imminent commission of arson, burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, theft during the nighttime, or criminal mischief during the nighttime; or
(B) to prevent the other who is fleeing immediately after committing burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, or theft during the nighttime from escaping with the property; and

(3) he reasonably believes that:
(A) the land or property cannot be protected or recovered by any other means; or
(B) the use of force other than deadly force to protect or recover the land or property would expose the actor or another to a substantial risk of death or serious bodily injury.

Majofo

Some homeless guy steals a pack of gum and fiddeee cents from your car..
Fucking crazy mang..

thoiboi

The one time I wish i was packing.. I was in FL too so it wouldn't have been a problem.


Oh well. lesson learned, go back to hotel and drop shit off before going anywhere

cu2wagon

Yeah, I got jacked in Phoenix. I live in the shittiest house with the most boro shit in my neighborhood.

All my neighbors are my theft deterrent now. No one wants to mess around with my hamburger when there is kobe beef right next door.

Majofo

hotel... shiet mang.
Duct tape it to your ass.

TacoBello

The only time I've spit in the urinal is if I was beyond drunk as fuck. You know, like, you need to use your head or arm on the piss stained wall to keep yourself steady. No loogies though. That's just savage.

thoiboi

I spit in urinals all the time..



guys.. mods are aware


HI ggesq!

TacoBello

Of spitting in urinals?