It’s kind of a fucked trip... I’m going with my folks

Thing is... I haven’t been back to the homeland in 22 years. That, and my grand parents are all dead, and my aunt and uncles are either dead, or far removed from Poland. I only have one cousin remaining there, but he deals with mental illness, so not likely the best person to be visiting. my folks are getting up there in age, also. This will be one of my last chances to travel with them, which I haven’t done in 15 years. So yeah... looking to reconnect with the homeland, a bit. I will break away here and there, for day trips, but otherwise doing stuff with my folks,

We've gone over this. I’ve already proposed and signed her for half of everything I own. What else would I do around the six week mark?

Hmmm... I’ve come to realize some interesting things thus far, in Poland.

1. blonde hair, blue eyed bishes are everywhere. I always thought polish chicks more often than not were brunettes with brown eyes... but man, they seem to be somewhat of a minority here. Blue eyed bishes every fucking where. And I’m a sucker for blue eyes!!!

2. If I remember reading correctly, at least in buttfuck Edmonton, there’s a higher guy to girl ratio. Here seems to be quite the opposite. I’m blown away how often i see just a pair of chicks hanging out, on the tram, walking, whatever. I mean, it happens back home, but here, I can’t look in a single direction without seeing two girls together. No, not in a lesbo kind of way. Sorry.

3. Which has a guy thinking ()- I feel like I can just walk up to any pair of chicks here and start chatting them up. Something about being a foreigner here and not giving a fuck. I dunno why I feel differently back home. I get the feeling if I approached ten pairs of chicks and suggested a threesome, at least one would eventually say yes not gonna lie, Polish chicks are known to be major whores.

4. A slight problem though- waaaaaay too many chicks here smoke. Instant deal breaker. But you know what they say- if they smoke, they poke. Hmmm....

5. I keep wondering if I have mustard on my face or something rather (semen). Bishes keep looking. I’ve come to realize Polish guys are generally shorter than what I normally see back in Edmonton. I stick out like a sore thumb, here. Is it because they want this dikdik, or are they thinking I’m just an awkward looking motherfucker? Probably the awkward looking motherfucker. Shiiiiet.

6. And because I’m here with my folks and princess wakanda is back home, I’ll just go back to furiously masturbating, cuz ain’t nothing gonna happen here

7. Oh, and lots of early 20s looking chicks, pushing baby carriages around. Again, I see it back home, but the number I see here is insane.

8. I hate this place. I need to stop thinking about da womenz. Seriously, of all fucking things to do here, why am I looking at da womenz?! Sigh. I’m an idiot.

I’m just looking at the menu, I’m not ordering anything

What's the Canadian equivalent of a green card. ??

Yumcha, you must have had your balls cut off a very very long time ago. I cannot help but look at womenz. Not looking for trouble... but if I’m looking at architecture, I’m looking at the womenz too!!!

uh, yeah.. that’s what I did first and foremost. That’s why I noticed the guys seem a bit shorter than back home

We just apologize profusely to one another, for a few minutes. If any apologies are deemed questionable, you get banned for life.



Ludacris told me something about being in a different area code... And he drives a sick Acura Legend, so I figure he must know something.

youre doing it wrong!!! This is Poland- the złoty is 1/3 of the Canadian dollar... I’m fucking rich here!!!

that was the old system. Please refer to the apology method, as stated above

I dunno... something about Karma, for starters.... well that, and seriously J?!

Dually noted. On my penis. As it enters my anus.



Close enough

judging by how people drive here, you’re not far from the truth.

by the way, first cab I took here... newer Audi A6 wagon... diesel... 6MT... cloth seats. Fucking loved it.

Driving down the the highway from the airport, we,re doing 150km/h... we get passed by a Macan S that easily must’ve been doing 200km/h... cut us off on an otherwise deserted highway... didn’t even signal. No wonder there’s a ton of traffic fatalities here. Polish drivers are considered some of the worst.

Fuck, me too. If I were in the market for a mini suv, I’d strongly consider one.

We also got passed by a MB wagon... it was a c220...base as fuck... motherfucker was easily doing 200 also

Good morning, my fine sloring gentlemen.

It’s 2:30am here and I can’t sleep. Someone start rambling already