This. PM

 

yeah right Justn.. it would be JMF in your case.

 

Ok. That was a close call justn :o

JMF?

 

Zero chance that I would. I see it as disrespectful to my wife.

 

Justn-Maharajamd-Female(not Mrs. Maharajamd)

 

I do have a thing for goatees and mommies boys....

 

Justn's not a mama's boy. He's more of a your mama's boy.

 

That's an interesting answer. It's her idea, so she's being disrespectful to herself?

My answer would initially be no, but I would relent if it was obvious that it was something she really wanted to do and not just a random, kinky idea.

My bigger fear would be that I would feel a bit used. That would depend on whether my wife wanted the threesome because she wanted to have a lesbian experience (which I consider safe) or if she wanted it because she was telling her friend "My husband is a great fuck, you gotta get in on this!" (that's disrespectful).

 

putting myself in your shoes STD/BABY and FALLING in LOVE are the 2 main obsticals. based on what YOU wrote you and your wife will most likely not have issues with anything else.

the more you know someone the higher the possibilty to fall in love

but i would advise against strangers.

i would also suggest swinging with a couple that have done it for a while. obv they know how to make it work for them. and can help you find how to make it work for you.

i dont think it would hurt your marrige if this has been a topic for YEARS. I think this type of thing would hurt if both arnt 100% that being said in gerneral guys are quick to say if they like/dislike something or an idea. a WIFE will agree to a lot of things that she doesnt like beacuse she want to make the husband happy.

also if you do this dont feel bad if you suck!!! you have only been with your wife and im sure you know how to do it to her liking, might not hold true for other chicks. ie she might not like it if you haul off and snatch her hair back. lol

you got your rules STICK TO THEM and you MUST post pics of chick you get and PM me nudes lol

No i dont swing, hand PLENTY of partners EARLY in life (probably too many) probably why i got married young. and no i dont the i would be down with someone boning my wife.

there was a question brough up about genitals and they have EVERYTHING to do with to me IF my wife was bi i wouldnt even consider it cheating if she got with other chicks. i would ask to watch once and a while and join everynow and then

 

Wow - I just read this whole thread and it's just WOW.

My wife and I are like the OP and his wife. Met very young, did the safe thing, grad school, good jobs. We did feel like we missed out on some stuff but our train of thought was very different on how we would fill that empty void. Now that we make good money....we just live out our partying days.

Since my wife is my best friend, we went on trips to Vegas/Aruba/Miami where we partied with our friends, drank til we puked, went to 3 clubs a night, and made new memories and filled the void that way. After you partied in different cities, it becomes the same thing .....and you're left with a nasty hang over on the beach/pool the next day.

Has this train of thought ever occurred to you OP?

 

Great post and I agree 100% with everything. Even down to the disrespecting me part.

Now this is the type of post that I expected here. He may not be into it, want it, etc, but he thought about it and gave some honest true advice.

He also demonstrated my pov that most men would not consider it cheating for their woman to sleep with other women. Which contradicts many peoples arguments here. Difference being most wouldn't perceive a woman lover as a threat to the primary relationship.

We've done all those things too. Traveled, in country and out, partied hard or partied mild. I think we are just adrenaline junkies. How many of you have jumped out of a plane with your wife? Lol

 

I think a lot of people would agree that there is a difference between getting to know and caring about who you're sleeping with and just sleeping with someone to give yourself satisfaction for the night.

The scenario you posted above though (and Gypsy, who originally mentioned it) is referring to doing that when you're single. The difference here is, you'd be doing this for personal enjoyment and satisfaction while you're already in a 'forever' relationship. I think that's where most people draw the line, and see the HUGE difference.

 

Depending on the circumstance and who the girl is...if my girl brought it up I'd consider participating in a threesome but in the back of my mind I'd think it probably isn't a good idea for me and her. BUT, the key to this answer is that she brought it up...I'm not against a boob or 2 so of course, 4 is better...but I wouldn't want to do it with a long term partner like a wife. BUT, I'm also not into stifling what other people want to be so if the person I'm with decides to do something I can either participate, say it ain't for me, or try and see where the chips fall.

 

In the end, I don't think anyone truly cares about what you and your wife choose to do -- after all, we don't know you personally and don't live your life.

I think creating threads soley to stimulate discussion can be a good thing and bring life into the forum... I don't think many people base life decisions on what some unknowns on a car forum have to say, so I doubt many of us expect you to take what we say with much more than a grain of salt - even if it makes you think of things you hadn't considered.

I'll just say that regardless of how simple (wanting to fill a void) or complex (?) your reasons really are behind doing this, no problem in marriage, or between two people in general, is ever really solved by going to others. Not referring to seeing a counsellor, talking things out with friends, etc... What I mean is, a marrital issue should be solved within the marriage for it to be remedied. Whatever you and your wife feel you need to change or feel you need to discuss, you need to work out with each other, and not involve other people or new people to the mix. Going outside the marriage for this may mask the problem or make things feel 'different' but the underlying issues aren't really gone...you've just made things more complex, that's all.

 

Sorry, folks - I suppose I missed the main event, but it seems I've arrived just on time for the afterparty.

I wouldn't even give momentary, fleeting consideration to the idea of having a threesome with my wife and anyone else, let alone one of her girlfriends. I wouldn't be offended at her request, but the answer would be no, definitively. That response stems from my own personal definition and understanding of what (my) marriage is. And that definition, and understanding thereof, includes a little thing called monogamy.

I'm not making a value judgement about your marriage or what it should be, because you and your wife are ultimately responsible for establishing the acceptable parameters and making the best decisions for your own marriage.
However, you asked if I would do it, and my answer is no.

Hypothetically, even if my wife and I decided to make an exception to fulfill her fantasy, the risks associated with doing the deed far outweigh the rewards. There would just be too many potential hazards to consider, and they all seem to lead in the same direction: damaged relationships between myself and my wife, my wife and her friend, or both. What if she finds out after the deed had been done that she wasn't as alright with it as she projected she would be? What if it leads to certain irreconcilable differences that manifest as seemingly permanent insecurity, chronic jealousy, or persistent feelings of inadequacy? What if my wife's friend actually 'catches feelings' for me, or for her? Either of these end results would far outweigh the memories created in the bedroom that night.

Yes, the thought of banging my wife and her sexy,willing friend may seem like fun in theory, but I wouldn't actually do it. Besides my personal feelings about regarding (my) marriage being a monogamous relationship , our nine-year (five years married), intact relationship is worth far more than an hour or two of thrills. And so is her longstanding relationship with her friend.

 

Girlfriend back in the day....YES.

Wife....Absolutely NOT.

I got married at 30. I had a lot of single fun in my 20's. I regret nothing. Both my wife and I were brought up to believe in the institution of marriage. Her parents are still together and my parents were only separated when my dad died. And 10 years later my mom is still faithful to my dad. That's devotion.

If I did not feel that way about my wife I would not have gotten married. I do not need one of her hot friends in bed with us to make me happy.

 

^exactly. Girlfriend and wife are very different.

You're being narrow minded, not us.

You made a thread already deciding on swinging, and expected opinions on it. You got it and everyone disagrees.

You seem to have everything at the moment, why would you risk all of it?

Sorry, but it Sounds like your insecure and spoiled.

 

I'm with JWhite. No way I agree to that (surprise).

I would view the mere inquiry as an issue with our marriage and I'd do everything I could to work on why she felt like she needed that from outside our marriage. I love my wife more than I love sex. Simple as that.

 

This might be the point Maharajamd is arguing. If your wife wants more sex or more varied sex than you can provide, does that mean she loves sex more than you? And if you do love your wife more than sex, would you deny her complete satisfaction by refusing to indulge her wishes?

Your answer seems to be consistent with what I imagine most in this thread would say - that if the wife wanted sex from other people, there's something wrong with her.

 

Hmm indeed. I guess when you're standing on that side of the line you could see it that way.

Good. At least you would decipher the situation and make an informed decision...

I'm not disagreeing with you. Nor am I passing judgement, like you are and have been. Nothing constructive coming from you here. Thanks for your time.

Thanks.

And is there? The guy above just said yes, if she proposes anything like this then there is an issue. And the way I read it more specifically an issue with HER. I would never view it like that. Again, completely open, freshly paved, two way street of conversation in our house.

 

OP-any chances of the wife joining in? (this thread)

pun intended

sad thing is there are probably some swingers who read this thread and wont post theier experience due to the comments in here. all the people on AZ im sure we have some swingers. if we dont we probably will by the end of this thread lol

 

I will try. Doubtful though as she doesn't even participate much on our swinger forums. Lol. She is on the computer all day so when she gets home it's usually either facebook or nothing.

And there are. I've had a few PMs. You all have to realize not many are so willing to throw it all out there like I have. Especially if said member is more interactive with you all in real life then I am.

Trust me if I was hanging out with you all I wouldn't have said a word. I can envision coming to a AZ meet now. Everyone is going to be macking on my wife.

 

^we would do that regardless of this thread....
AZ= leghumpers.

 

^^^

its funny cuz its TRUE

 

did those swinging pms cum before or after you started this thread

 

After. A random person would not message me their personal interests on a car forum for no reason... Lol

And yes, car forums usually are full of leg humpers. I'm one myself. Anyone ever seen guitarplayer's avatar? Wow is all I'm going to say. Lol

Once I get my accord fogs in (been sitting in a box for months) and do my weekend long detail (I've got the entire line of Griots stuff waiting), my wife is going to do a bikini photo shoot with my car (second wife). I'll make sure to post pics.

 

^i am an aspiring photographer with an uber cool camera.

 

To be quite honest I will need a camera man with decent equipment. :P

 

PAUSE!!!!!

in this thread this comment should be followed with "no homo"

 

I believe OP said he brought it up as a "joke" and then after a few more "jokes" it became a full fledged idea. I think he said it in one of his posts a while back.

OP, I get that you want your partner to achieve those feelings...I feel the same way when I'm with a gf BUT...why is it that you feel the need to seek attainment of these feelings by fucking another couple? Why can't you two achieve these emotional highs off each other? I feel that if you can't get to that point with your wife, then maybe you guys should re-evaluate why you got married? Not being offensive. If your wife can't get you to these new levels of excitement or whatever, maybe you guys aren't meant to be together forever?

If a GF offerred a threesome with her friend, I'd say yes...if my wife said that...I'd say no and wonder why she's even entertaining that idea since we're MARRIED.

 

Hahaha I meant to put that in red text. Doh! No seriously though I will def want an SLR of some sort and someone who knows how to take good pics.

 

Great post though man. Thanks.

 

i dissagree with you on the gf/wife issue there are things i would do to gf i wouldnt do to my wife and on top of that there are things i would do to a one night stand.

for example i wouldnt bust on my wifes face intentionally, gf? sure why not stranger hell yeah i would aim that shit up her nose!

i wouldnt piss on my wife or gf but if stranger chick wanted me too i would do that shit singing "pee on you"

 

I think we should just start posting "ditto" here and there...it's getting repetitive.

PS...starting to realize that an SLR is great for taking the quality you need to really mess with the picture but touching up for effect afterward is super important too. I plan to become very good at this in the future...although I have to warn you, my equipment is tiny.

 

If you can satisfy your wife in more ways then one...if she can satisfy you in all aspects...why look elsewhere? Bottom line is, there is ALWAYS going to be someone better then you at what you do (whatever it is, sports, sex, etc), but if you are both satisfied with what you can do for each other, why risk EVERYTHING on the off chance that someone can satisfy her in ways you can't. If you do end up finding someone who can do that to her, the next time you two fuck, she'll be thinking "oh...well that wasn't as good as that other guy..." and it's going to keep bugging her in the back of her mind till it eventually causes problems. I can understand how you want the BEST for your wife and you want her to achieve new levels of ecstasy and all but achieve it together and ONLY together. Opening your wife (pun intended) to other people is only going to lead to mind fucking. What if this..what if that...inevitably it'll cause problems. Like I said before...explore different sex toys. Try anal? Try different types of lube. Buy up everything at your local sex store...as long as its not another person. IF you somehow explored EVERY facet of sexual experience including any and all toys and you're still not satisfied with the rush they give, then I guess give swinging a try. And I'm going to say you have some mental issue of seeking thrills that can't be explained. (have you seen a doctor about potentially being an adrenaline junkie? being serious and not offensive)

Also, being a good lay is always going to depend on each person. One person can know how to get a woman off in less than a minute but give him a new woman and she may not like what he did to the other one. If you're looking for the "best lay" in the world...be prepared to way forever. There is no way you will ever be satisfied with what you find then.

 

what!? you mean my gf who loves my man juice on her face, will all of a sudden not like it when we get married?

 

You should just sign up for a few weekend retreats and classes on sensuality, new ways to do things, etc. There are lots out there and it would achieve the same end result....minus the strangers doing it for you and to you. If you're bored or want to reach new levels, go learn new things. You aren't the first people in the world who want to take things to a different level than you're at or want to find more excitement....there's lots of outlets to help couples in that area.

 

Nothing changes when you're married. Nothing, for better or worse.

 

Interesting thread...

 

I see what you did there.