Guys I'll reply better when I get to a computer again. MOPAR is here this weekend so at the track.

Gypsygirl: thanks for the super hot stories in that pm. ;P

 

Of course sex and love are seperate! You're probably lying if you say that. They are seperate for all of us at times. Maybe you're just too young to have really thought about it.

I'm pretty sure that all of you have had sex with someone that you didn't love and enjoyed it immensly. Then you went your seperate ways. No? Yeah sure.... You're offering to do it with his wife, right? Common' now...

It takes a very close couple to want to share and watch the sexual experience of the other. Banging the guy down the street is cheating. Swinging is something that a couple shares together. Not even close to the same thing. I'm sure that the OP would be very upset to find his wife emotionally entwined with another man.

Maybe SHE wants to do this. Most of the couples that I have known have been brought into that lifestyle because the wife wants another woman.

Please folks, just because you may not have thought this out, doesn't mean it's wrong for everybody. Actually, I'd be willing to bet that if your wife or girl started to whisper in your ear about you touching her while she's touching another woman, you'd be right into it.

I'm not saying that this worked out for me or didn't. I'm just saying that under the right circumstances, adult playtime may have it's place. It may not be an unhealthy place for everybody either.

 

Just put your dick in another chick bro, let your wife get hers filled with other dicks. Bang boom, shit be popping.

 

I am curious what the OP and his wife will move on to once swinging no longer has the same thrill to it...

 

Maybe they'll simply grow out of it. Not everything has to get larger and larger. There are lots and lots of things that we just don't do anymore as we get older. It doesn't mean everything has to be replaced.


Boy do we love to stand Holy and judge in this place sometimes. I'm pretty sure that's not what tolerance is all about. If they live their lives from a place of love, not harm, and they remain in that love, then what does it matter?

Sounds to me like they are very confident in their sexuality and their relationship.

 

or they could do drugs like one of our gang suggested........ wow.

 

Lol. Who doesn't enjoy a J at the day of the day?

 

All I am saying is that they indicated they are looking for excitement, and often people looking for that find it, but then the thrill wears off and they have to go looking again.

 

Whatever floats yer boat. However, people being judgemental will come with activities that are considered on the fringe of normal activity (for our society). Its just human nature.

But if you and your wife are down, I'm more wondering why you don't just commit to the activity already....you sounded more on the fence before. Just go for it, who cares what people think.

 

Should have known.

trmRq.jpg

 

Haven't seen John Smith in a while.

 

Need to get out the bio hazzard suit......that right there is some straight up BULLCRAP on your part. If your marraige was so sacred to you, one would not be etertaining the thought of letting multiple dudes bang your wife while you are doing multiple chicks....

like one of the previous posters mentioned I hope you like the taste of dick......

 

Just because it's not everyone cup of tea doesn't make those individuals narrow minded.. As stated before by others, to some this is a fantasy for most guys, but when push come to shove it's not just shoving your penis into a strangers vagina and then afterwards saying "Ok, it's over now everything is back to normal". Like I said, It's not for everyone, more power to those that enjoy this lifestyle, not for me though and that's perfectly fine. Just is what it is. Best of luck brotha.

 

You need god on your relationship and in your life. Sad you have everything good life and good gf/wife I didn't read all your post. y'all should have more respect for each other too.

 

No offense, but this post is simply not helpful. It is material like this, that makes is hard for Christians to spread the word of God. I would suggest, if you want to recommend they look to the Lord, you elaborate on why they should look, what the Bible says and the path to salvation. All the above accomplishes is the perpetuation that Christian's judge people, drop God on people and look down. (not to mention the horrible grammar - which some of your comments do not make sense)

Ghandi - "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ"


OP - I have read the entire thread. My opinion is that I would never engage in this kind of activity. I could not imagine the thought of my wife or myself with another person. I believe that marriage is a bond between two people and they become one flesh. I also made a commitment to my wife that she was my focus, forever. I try to not let things distract that focus, although I am human and do lose focus at time. (No, I do not cheat - just am selfish at times - golf, fishing, etc.)

I do feel there is strong advice in this thread about the pitfalls, warning signs and etc. It sounds like Gypsy has some experience, so one could argue her advice is very strong. I also agree with the advice on talking to a counselor first. What harm could it cause? Be open with the counselor and tell them why you are there. They could help validate your relationship is ready to stand the inherent challenges and/or expose something you all need to work on.

 

Wait what? that poster is ABSOLUTELY correct.......the OP does need God in his life and he should have more respect for his wife (and himself for that matter). Do you think for one moment that you are honoring God when you think about having a swinging marriage? To be Christian means to repent of your sins and accept Christ as your savior and live your life accordingly. Keep that in mind when you start to chastise others who are pretty much telling the guy up front what he should be doing instead of swinging....without being rude about it. Do you think for one moment that if you went up to Jesus and asked Him if it was ok to be swinging He would be saying "aww that's OK" or do you think He would say that you need to get your act together?

 

Lol

Who knows? Is it not normal to become dull to things after a while? Although I will say this, I can name off 100s of scenarios within it that can be tweaked, performed, role played, amplified, exaggerated, exploited. Some of which would blow all your minds. So, it's very likely but not for a while.

On the other hand. We could share ONE experience. And let that ride for YEARS. I know many couples that only do it like once a year or years, and let the memories carry them for a while.

Refer to above.

Well it is a big step you know. I wasn't ever on the fence before. I came here to get some random 'normal' opinions. The reasons we haven't yet is we wanted to be completely certain this is for us. Plus, we aren't jump right in type people anyways. Especially with something of this magnitude.

Again, legendary.

Really? You're telling me I don't love my wife? Or that our marriage isn't sacred? Get your head out of your socially molded ass, go see the world a bit, and you'd realize that is a very narrow minded statement.

And again, not sure why some of you think any of this is anywhere near a homosexual act.

Lol. Who said we don't have God in our lives? You know, you would be completely shocked, and apparently appalled, if you knew how many swingers are die hard Christians. Lol

Thanks. Yes, that is the mentality that gives Christianity a bad rap. Christians more so then others feel like theirs is the only truth, if you aren't in that truth then you're wrong, and I'm going to try and force that truth down your throat until 'I' know you're saved.

Let's say we are one flesh. And this one flesh will be playing together, as one. Grasp that for a while! Lol

And there is no need for a counselor. My wife and I are fantastic. You know, I could see some of you saying no, I couldn't share, the thought of sharing makes me sick. I could see some of you playing the religious card and saying it's ethically and morally wrong. But I have no idea why some of you question our relationship.

Again, who says we don't have God in our lives/relationship? You know, and forgive the conceitedness, I could probably teach most of you a thing or two about Christianity. I'd put $100 down that I have read the bible more times, been to church more, been out of the country on missions more, or raised more funds for my church then 99% of you.

But for the sake of staying on topic, let's skip the religious talk.

 

Please read my post prior to quoting it and then commenting off base. NO WHERE in my post does it say the OP does not need God. It simply says the post I referred too inadequately laid out the rationalization for why he should turn to the Lord. To drop a few incomplete sentences and move on is, in my opinion, not what we are commanded to do in the scripture.

I chastised no one and would appreciate you realizing that when you read my comments. I simply stated the post was not helpful and he should elaborate on why the OP needs the Lord.

 

I am not questioning your relationship at all, that is not what you asked us to do. I was simply stating that vetting the idea with a relationship professional could NOT hurt anything. That is an opinion of several people on the forum that I happen to agree with. For what it is worth, this type of reply is what makes people comment that you are defensive about the idea.

I do have a question though - did you come to get true opinions or did you just want to inform everyone that you and your spouse would be engaging in this? The reason I ask is that your mind seems made up to me. Ken commented the same earlier that you seem set on doing it, might as well take the plunge. There have been multiple concerns raised and instead of asking for any clarification or acknowledging they may be correct, you have a thought out response on why that point is not valid.

I disagree that bringing the religious focus into the conversation is diverting from the topic at hand. You asked for opinions on the matter. A person who is a Christian will have to bring the religious direction into the conversation. It is that direction that guides the decisions and actions of Christians. My .

The Bible is very clear on this topic. The reading is in Genesis, Leviticus, etc.

 

Please for the love of everything sane in society STFU with the religious bullshit.

 

Good to see some things never change.

 

I'm just playing devils advocate with my responses. My responses may not necessarily reflect our actual stance on the topic at hand. I just thought it would be beneficial for the discussion to make some counterpoints to some of the replies.

And play nice kids. He is right. Religion plays more of a part in peoples responses then anything else. I guess I just don't like hearing it. I guess I wanted to hear more of people opinions on the social ramifications, etc. Funny how no one has said "what if they find out at work" or "what if your parents find out?".

BTW, if we were to do this, it wouldn't be a lifestyle. A previous poster is wrong. You don't have to do it often, or even make a habit of it. You don't even h ave to do it more then once...

 

Find yourself here, then.

 

I honestly can't find a spot for us anywhere in there... Lol

Edit: Although a key party would be a thrill and a half...

 

I'm getting to an age where I don't even think about s*x all the time anymore and it's freaking me out a little!

In theory, the idea of others etc seems fun. But I couldn't swing it...especially with the girl I love and I'd like to think I'm pretty open minded. Shoot, at one point when I was much younger, there was this girl we were friends with...everyone was doing pills or something at the time and they'd invite me to cum along and join a "party" with her and her friends (let's say she is Vida Guerra hot...no exaggeration). I turned it down because I've never been into that sort of thing.

I hope it works out for you, have a few friends that have dissolved their relationship because of swinging...my finance's old boss though has been swinging for years now. We have a couple of couple friends that I sometimes get the impression are hinting at getting into something like this...but both of us always feel like it would be a bad idea.

I'd love for you to keep this thread updated and honest with what ends up happening, either way. Always interested in hearing other people's perspectives and stories.

 

^Will do man. I'll have it retitled "Maharajamd's Progession Thread". LOL!

 

I just found this in the link I posted at the start and thought it would be good to post.

 

That'll work...have one for your car, and one for your marriage!

PS...will also mention that although you put this out there and were pretty prepared for the expected reaction, you've been a champ at taking the criticism and sometimes extremely raunchy and nasty things people are saying to get a rise out of you. Well done...maybe your skin is thick enough to pull this off after all.

 

If that really is your wife in those pics, & you 2 are each others 1sts....Your not going to be keeping her if you do this. Both of you have no idea how different lovers really can make you feel physically & emotionally. You been together a long time. I hate to say it but it's not going to work. Try it by all means, don't be surprised when it fails & ruin's your marriage.

And keep in mind condoms are not 100%. What happens in that off chance she gets knocked up? It happens.

 

Sorry Maharajamd, didn't mean to trivialize it. It seems to be akin to losing your virginity, but as a couple. I guess in some weird way, that's one way for your relationship with your wife to evolve.

Like I said, go for it man, but be smart. I have to state that I would personally have a problem with it happening in my own life, but that shouldn't (or won't) stop you. Best of luck to you.

 

Let me know how it goes, maybe she will find a better dick than yours and she leaves you for that one. Good luck buddy

 

confidence is the biggest d*ck in existence.

 

Well said RS.

I have enjoyed reading your thread and your knowledgeable level headed approach. Before my wife and I married we were pretty wild. On a few occasions we had some fun with a good friend of mine and his girl. It was set in stone that he wouldn't touch my girl and I wouldn't touch his, but the two girls did enjoy pleasuring each other. It was very exciting having sex with my girl and also watching my friend and his girl. While we would not do this again, I really feel it was a great learning and growing experience. No one really knows if this will work for you. You and your wife are the only ones that know for sure. Good luck.

 

Agreed. Condoms do not prevent herpes and/or HPV(genital warts) either. Just be smart and safe. Get lots of testing done. I hope it all works out and you two enjoy yourselves.

 

I think its a close tie with money

 

money gives confidence but not vice versa!
it still wins!

 

I feel bad for you if you think that's the only thing a man brings to a relationship.

 

You're a big boy now so you can take this:

1. Man Up! Stick to your commitment and stop looking for cowardly ways to cheat your vows you made before you wife, God an family. Dude, listen to different folks if you want call it "swinging" "consensual swapping" "open marriage" yadda yadda yadda, all just different names for cheating and adultery. Don't let folks try to wrap up trash in a pretty box and make it seem like it's treasure. Be realistic and view things for what they REALLY are.

2. I bet you in 99 percent of the cases, the male is the one who introduces or brings this up FIRST to his wife. Sad but makes sense, as he is more prone to be driven and influenced by his sexual desires and women are more emotional.Rarely does a wife approach a husband coming home from work and say "hey honey, i was thinking about swinging with another couple so that you could enjoy another woman and me another man." If you did introduce this to your wife and somehow convinced her that this will strengthen your marriage and she gives in because of emotions and wanting to keep you happy, you are a sad excuse of a man and family head. You are no different from a man who leads his family into pain,turmoil and financial debt because of HIS bad decisions. Man Up! Be the man that your wife can respect and look up to for support, guidance and comfort. Not a man that she will lose respect for because he wants to sacrifice years of a perfect marriage for an orgasm?

And if your wife was the one that happened to introduce this first, communicate with her and listen to her feelings of why she feels the need to introduce someone else into your marriage. Something is lacking. It's your job to discern what it is. Be a man and build her up and find other ways to enjoy each other, add enrichment to each others lives. Traveling, volunteer work, helping less fortunate kids, some activities that involve giving time and energy to make others happy and will bring you guys closer together as well.

3. Man Up! Stop trying to rationalize something wrong into something right. Listening to your mind and following your heart is not always going to lead you on the right path. "Millions of people are swingers"? Okay, millions of people are drug addicts and criminals. Wise lifestyle to follow?
Age has nothing to do with it. There are people who are 50 and 60 years old who will give you bad advice and make terrible mistakes and there are folks in their 20's and 30's who make sensible grounded decisions.
"There are alot of swingers statistically who have happier marriages" just like the more money you have, the happier you'll be, everyone in Hollywood who is a celebrity lives the lavish life and smiles on camera so they must be genuinely happy behind the scenes and don't resort to drugs or suicide.
Stop listening to reports. The worlds propaganda will lead you to unhappiness.
"Buy a home, live the American Dream!"=Watch the housing market crumble and owe more on your house than what it's really worth.

4. Man Up! You got something good, keep it. Don't trade in your diamond for a rock. Don't cheapen your marriage, add value to it. Marriage is more than just sex.


By the way, i'm only 26, and have only been married for 3 years.

 

Thanks for the kind words. I knew what I was getting into when I posted this thread. Quite honestly it's been more tame then I would have expected. I knew made it into Rambling until last week and I've been here a while now. I was shocked at some responses. Especially in the dating forum.

That is my wife. Behind her is Rodney Bay, St Lucia. Sandals Grande. And being able to experience different lovers is one of the goals here.

As for pregnancy. Hmmm. Condoms plus her BC should be fairly adequate. If it were to happen, well we would either raise the child or abort it. Not like it wouldn't be loved if we kept it...

Thanks. Yea in a, weird to most, way it would be evolving and growing together. I know it's hard for some to visualize that but that's honestly the truth.

I'll probably get flamed for this but...... I hope she does? Not leave me of course but why wouldn't I want the best for my wife? Lol. I know sounds crazy, but the way I see it is I want her to have the best. If she is going to leave me because of a good lay then she doesn't deserve me anyways.



Thanks for the short and thanks for the kind words.

Honestly STDs are one of the biggest concerns. Thanks.

Amen.

 

Thanks for the great reply though. And again I hope I don't come off as defensive. I'm just rebutting responses to drive the convo.