I'll post two and these were the easiest to access right now as my iMac is in at Apple, for the fourth effing time, to get the lcd replaced. Anyways...





And no not yet.

 

Don't believe you, take out the blur!

Ashamed of your girlfriend?!

 

Look, I'm going to try real hard to be constuctive here so please take this as my attempt to give you some hard things to consider. But I'm not going to pull any punches either. I think you are about to make a life-long mistake.

So what's the real issue here driving you to this decision? Because I don't think it's because you and your wife didn't get enough partying in. Are you that bored with each other sexually? Are you that unexcited with each other? So point number one is I think there is an issue here in your marriage that you are attempting to cover up with sex with strangers that will still be there when you are done. Eventually sex with strangers will get old. Whatever you are avoiding dealing with now is going to be there. Don't say you need excitement. I can fill this page with exciting things couples can do and remain faithful to eachother. You want to get laid by someone other than your wife and you want it to be guilt free. At least start by calling it what it is.

Think this through to it's logical conclusion. You need a thrill, this seems like a good idea, but eventually it will get old. Then what? You'll be right back where you are now, but you'll have the memories of all these other people competing with what you should be feeling for your wife.

Point number two: you are changing your marriage forever. I think how this ends up will depend on what you are expecing from your marriage when this is all said and done. Do you think you'll one day give this up and you'll live happly ever after? What about a family? Do you continue swinging with kids? Do you give it up and pretend it never happened? There is no going back from this one. You are about to fill your head with images and memories you will remember forever. So are you prepared to never again have the relationship you have now? Because it disappears the minute you "pull the trigger".

Last point. I've been married 21 years, like you we were both our "firsts". But I've been at this long enough, and I'm old enough to start to see the changes when it comes to our physical relationship. Believe it or not, one day sex will not be the center of the universe. But that's what you are making it right now. So what happens then? Back to point number one - do you really want to share a life with this person? If so, work on your life WITH this person. Need some excitement? Make things exciting with HER. You and her are a team now, and if you want to stay together that bond is absolutely essential. Man up and fight for your relationship - don't run away and get laid just because you missed a few frat parties and you want some guilt-free sex.

Back to quesiton one. I've never seen a successful definiton of love and respect in a marriage that involved sex with strangers. I've never seen the bond of marriage grow stronger by seeking physical intimacy outside marriage. Sex will bring emotional drama whether you think it will or not. Do this if you want to, but don't kid yourself about the fact that for the rest of your life this relationship you have now will be changed.

I would urge you, in the strongest possible way, to think about what your life looks like at 50 years old, and think about whether what you are about to do is going to be something you cherrish or regret. You never have to regret an action you didn't take.

 

No. Like I said those are two pics we have online already for this purpose. My iPhoto DB is on a backup and on my iMac, which is not here.

You can go look at faces in the 3G members photos thread.

And wife, not gf. Believe it.

 

Oh, and now I've seen the picture, if you aren't 110% satisfied with THAT for the rest of your life you are a fool. Sorry, but you've got to be kidding that you get to come home to that every night but still wish you could hook up with strangers.

 

Quality advice.

 

You know it's not always about me. Some of you keep referring to it as me wanting a piece of ass. That's really not how I see it at all.

Thanks for the kind words.

 

Where are your boundaries?.. you don't have any. Normal people don't want other guys fucking their wives or having a dick shoved in her mouth. If you're open to that I'm sure sucking a guys dick isn't far off.

You talk about statistics, but how many swingers have only had one sexual partner and are married to that partner. The minority.. probably the same minority that get divorced. You think you can handle it now, maybe your wife too, but trust.. it'll eventually rip you two apart.

 

So sweet..

z44Ox.png

Now.. Remove OP's hand, insert some guys dong, remove ring.

 

Dude, even if you're taking her feelings into consideration, I would still put my foot down. I would never share a girl like that with anyone & wouldn't think twice about letting her swing unless she wanted to throw away our relationship.

 

I would think most satisfied married women would think the same thing about not wanting to be touched.

 

Jeez. The OP wanted the publics opinion on this subject, but some of you are taking this beyond the locker room. People in general do crazy shit. It's not like the mofo believes in incest and asked to take his cousin thats he having relations with to a swinger club. Let him be and move on.

 

Looks like OP's mind is made up.

Enjoy your fuck, report back afterwards.

 

It makes total sense...

 

Hello this is Peggy..

 

I mean, your statement earlier suggests that you and your wife do not believe that you should remain monogamous or exclusive to one another when you decided to get married, right? If that's the case, then it would shed light to your openness to swinging. I think a lot of people think that swinging breaks your marriage vow to "forsake all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live", but it appears you both don't see it that way. Perhaps you both believe there is a difference between making love with your spouse as opposed to having sex with others, no?

 

Hey, I have nothing against sexual fantasies. It just feels wrong to think about being intimate with another man. I just don't want anybody else to touch me except for my husband. My body is his alone.... In a way, this thread makes me glad that I "explored" before I got married. I was in my late 20's and my husband in his early 30's by the time we met. By then, we have had our share of fun.

Maharajamd, if you guys have been considering swinging for the past 3 years and even went as far as checking your local club, what's stopping you then? What are your concerns? On other hand, how do you think this will benefit your marriage?

 

Well, they could have been kinder. Normally I try to stay more civil and less personal. Sorry if it got that way.

Anyone who has seen my posts in D&R know I'll almost always defend marriage. Because, aside from this one issue, it seems like you have a good one.

Sure this may be both of your decision, but I'd be very surprised if you led her in another direction that she'd fight you on it. You can still change this direction.

The curse of youth (and 27 is still youth) is that seeing the long-term ramifications of your decisions is difficult. Because a 20-something can't see what it's like to be 40, or 50, or 60, and how your marriage changes and evolves. What seems like a good idea now may not be.

But simply put, take careful stock of what you envision your relationship to be with her 20 years from now. Are there kids? Do you still want to be married? What happens if times get tough? What if she gets cancer? What if something changes and she needs you, not sex? Then ask yourself if what you are about to do strengthens your ability to get to to that place.

Final thought. The simple definiton of love is its the decision to act in the best interest of another, even when its not in your own best interest. Any woman will respond to a man who will stand between her and the world and let no harm come to her without going through him first. But it seems like you are not only letting harm come to her, your carefully organizing it and mutually justifying it. Because I think this lifestyle has a much longer list of consequences than it has benefits.

 

I say go for it. Out doesn't sound like there is any stopping you.

With that said, I don't think its a smart thing to do. in the end, someone eventually gets hurt for the reasons everyone else has stated.

 

Everyone I'll post some lengthier replies when I get on a computer.

 

Dude, I really hope your being sarcastic. One is a homosexual act, one is not. One has to do with me, one does not. That logic makes zero sense.

You're talking statistics here yourself, with nothing backing you up. In my experience, a LOT of 'one and only' couples do this. And it only makes sense, right?

You're google skills are legendary. Your humor not so much.

That's unfortunate because that's way off. Listen, we are not monogamous creatures by default. Say what you want but that is true, it's biology. And believe it or not, women specifically have a built in drive to mate with the most superior male. Obviously we have advanced so much to control this, but it's still there.

And it's also been proven that women's fantasy lives far surpass their male counterparts. We just wear our pigishness on our sleaves.

Thanks

That's cute.

Kind of. You have to define what truly makes your spouse your spouse. There is a very clear difference to us between emotional involvement and physical involvement. The thread right beneath this is a prime example. His GF 'cheated' on him. Not that she slept with her ex, but she confided in him before her primary partner.

Yes, very clear difference. Think about it. If you had a fling with someone else. Would the situation, feelings, sex be anything like you have with your spouse? I hope not.

My wife is my soul mate. When we make love we are joining souls. Not just simply joining bodies. There is a clear difference to us between making love and 'sport' fucking. One is backed up by emotion, love, deep feelings. One is simply the journey for an orgasm.

Well people here aren't far off. Obviously keeping emotions at a check is a real concern. And our activities will have to be tailored to help with that. Not being sexist here but that is harder for the female then it is for the male. STIs, pregnancy, social impact are real concerns are well.

We have taken our time and took it slow. Small steps, small discussions. We didn't want either of us to feel like the other is pushing. We took every step mutually and with diligence.

You know believe it or not it can help a lot of things in a marriage. I guarantee happy activate swingers have more honest, more open, communicative relationships then their vanilla counterparts. Plus, it's fun! It a fun activity together, right?

We have a "plan" for children. I think I even listed details earlier in this thread. That's 6-7 years away for us. Of course, we will grow old together. Don't times get tough for everyone? Again I see no reason to question my love for my wife here. Of course I would stay with her. Wth does cancer have to do with this? You think if in 10 years my wife gets cancer, I'm going to leave her for the cute blonde I fucked the Friday night before?

Your posts are fine man, no problems here.

 

You're so level headed on this topic it's scary. I hope your wife is the same. I really don't see this working out but wish you two the best. How can you not believe having intercourse with someone, locking eyes and kissing doesn't involve deeper emotions than an orgasm? I think we've all put in our two cents here.. in for the lulz.

 

From your replies and defensiveness on several topics, it sounds like you've already made up your mind. Go for it

 

 

I may have lost sight of the original intention of this thread. It wasn't so you can all persuade me in one direction or the other. I just wanted to hear people's opinions on the matter in general.

 

And I hope I didn't come off as defensive. Not what I was going for at all. Just playing devils advocate here.

 

So here is why I brought all that up.

Here you are, a seemingly healthy, attractive couple without what appears to be too many difficult issues. So you have this one issue. Rather than work on it as a couple, and grow together as a result, you are seeking a temporary fix outside your marriage.

My wife doesn't have cancer, but she has a long list of significant medical problems. In many respects cancer would be easier than what she deals with. You can say all you want that if things got tough you'd stand by her, but you have a tough situation now, and you're not solving it. You're distracting yourself from it. So what's going to change 10 years from now if something really hard comes your way? Why do you believe you will have what it takes to make the right decision later on? You have that chance now, and you're not taking it.

And let me tell you, dealing with a real problem like the ones I listed will put a strain on your relationship like you can't imagine. You can say you'd stand by her, but that's just the right thing to say. Go 2 years with a situation that changes her into someone else and you'll be begging to find relief elsewhere. And in my opinion, you are just establishing a pre-made outlet to run to when things get hard. You say now you won't be banging that blonde, but again that's just the right thing to say. I think when things get hard you'll find your lifestyle choice to be a much larger temptation than you are giving it credit for.

I'll leave it at that. You asked for opinions and you have mine. I believe the bond that a husband and wife create by relying on each other, dealing with issues together, placing the needs of the other ahead of their own, and protecting each other from harm is the stuff that keeps people married a lifetime. I believe that what you are considering will undermine all of that and you are working very hard to convince yourself that it won't. If you say you love her, then love her enough to protect your marriage and preserve the bond that the two of you share as husband and wife. Love her enough to say she's the only one for you - mind and body. Love her enough to not send her into the arms of someone else's husband.

I think you are fooling yourself if you believe this story ends with you growing old together with a bunch of grandchildren at your feet. I think you are buying into that myth to justify your actions.

Nuff' said.

 

I haven't seen this brought up yet but if my wife was having this discussion with me as you are with your wife and us for that matter I would have some real issues here....its one thing to think about
how it would be to sleep with someone other than your significant other than to actually go through with it and the other know ab it, even if both are participating...there would be questions asked ab the experience or maybe not but always a "i wonder if it was better than what we have" in someone's head that could cause regret or resentment even if it was "ok" before the fact...I'm just not coming up with a good enough reason to go through with this other than for selfish reasons on someone's part

 

We all pretty much think it's a bad idea. Go for it and let us know how it goes...

 

OP - If you and your wife wants this then go for it. Personally it is not for me.

 

I am reading 1Louder's posts with interest. I work with a guy who is a swinger, along with his wife. From the conversations I have had with him (I apparently must be easy to talk to), he does seem to love his wife, although she sounds like she's slowly becoming a shut-in. He seems to have no desire to leave her and is constantly trying to get her to get out and do things with him.

So, at least for some people, it might seem that love and sex can be managed separately. That said, it's not for me. My "number" is ridiculously low and I'm glad I'm past the point in my life where I thought that was a deficiency.

My only input, which might have been mentioned by someone else, is that swinging is a lifestyle, not a hobby, not a game. You are, or you are not. It's a different circle of friends and you will very likely have to leave all your old friends behind.

 

if your life is boring go out to parties, try drugs, make some new friends, pick up a fetish or a hobby...don't go out and fuck strangers.

i do not agree with it, but i think that you and your wife must find out WHY you want to have sex with others, maybe you can work on pleasing each other better.

this will not end well.

 

ill also say that you may have influenced her decision on this. There is no way in hell that i can see a happily satisfied woman wanted to sleep with other people.

if you claim she is happy then why would you want to change that? don't forget how much an influence you have on her, im sure she would agree to anything if she believed it would make you happy, no matter how miserable she may be for it.

 

Glad I made it in here!!!! OP, I don't see you as defensive at all. I see you as exploring a real option for you and your wife that is very contriversial in mainstream America. Yes, there are millions and millions of people that do this happily and successfully within their marriages for years and years. It does happen. And it happens a lot.

I personally try not to judge anyone on their beliefs, whether I agree with them or not. I think calling you a dick sucker, etc..., is very immature. I also wont' judge your charachter, nor hers. Monogamy is not for everyone. Quite a bit of the world does not practice monogamy. We egotistical Americans tend to forget that we are the prudes. LOL

If you ask a conservative group like this a very liberal question, You'll get what you should expect. Most of our guys are machisimo.

I know others, and have participated personally in swinging. I'm sure that won't shock some of you. I won't say how long ago, nor will I say for how long. My partner was NOT bi-sexual. I definitly am. DO NOT ENTER THIS IF YOU ARE THIN SKINNED. You must have a VERY strong relationship, and rules MUST be followed no matter what kind of sensuality may be coaxing in other directions. You are your wifes protector. That is your primary rule. She can not see everything that is happening. Condoms must remain in place at all times. That is YOUR responsibility. Never separate under any circumstances. Everything starts and ends with her and you, no matter what. Plan to spend alone time the day after. I would reccomend that no contact be made with any other couple afterwards, and by that I really mean NONE. You don't need to know the names of their children to have the experience of watching your wife in extasy.

This can destroy relationships quickly. Beware.

PM me if you want further discussion.

 

no PM's! keep it open!

 

Love you Phee, you horney bastard.

 

I think you said it best.

It's easy to say you will stand by someone when the time of hardship or trials comes, but this situation as it is, is already a trial. I think it's naive to think this will end well. Statistics or not, just because some couples grow old together swinging doesn't mean it will be the same for you.

 

100%

OP your wife's hot. Why on earth would you allow someone else to bang her?

Personally, I think sex is emotional as well as physical. To think that the two can be completely separate is foolish IMO. This will only lead to future problems as 1louder has already mentioned.

 

This goes far beyond just catching up on what you two believe to have missed out on (crazy college years). Im in college now and I assure you .. you didnt miss much as far as those crazy stories go. All that shit gets old quick... but thats just me. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but something has to be missing to have ever seriously considered this IMO.. jeopardizing years together for an orgasm.. IDK how that could ever end well. But good luck with your decision nonetheless.... one question before I post this though.. just out of curiosity.. so if you walked in on your wife getting smashed by another man you'd be ay ok with that? What do you do in that situation.. shake his hand and introduce yourself? Just curiosity, honestly.

 

But on a lighter note.. she does look pretty hot. Im the man for the job... get this figured right out for you