dustbuster4

The sex is FANTASTIC!!!

I haven't met any woman my age who can compete. I'm young at heart, and find myself very comfortable with her. We like similar music, enjoy hanging out, and frequent the same places during our free time.

Problem is . . . I'm not used to the "friend with benefits" kind of a relationship. I come from the "old school" thinking that sex HAS meaning and sorta puts a couple into an exclusive kind of a bond.

Maybe I just need to resign myself to that fact that I can't get used to this. I'm having a hard time with this "new" way of thinking.

Any suggestions that can help me keep this "relationship" ongoing?

I admit; it's hard being a part from her. I really enjoy the intimacy (which is apart from the sex).

o00oCmCo00o

dame Fresh Mean taht all it matter. Like They say After 12 is Lunch But Dessert Is when uR ass iN Jail.

o00oCmCo00o

Pic?

ferizzo

damn homie...act your age!!!!

Just kidding...I envy you! nothing better than an 18 year old that will do anything for you! does she take it in the pooper??? Don't answer (and don't take offense) if you really like the girl!

95gt

How the hell can you have anything in common with an 18year old? I am 26 and feel like they are 13 year olds when i talk to 90% of them. Either way enjoy it while you can because that aint normal.

And can we please ban that 000cmc000 retard? Christ type in english

jimcol711

i have to agree with this. dustbuster, youve talked about your past here, and your career, you seem to have a thing for walking on shakey ground. there is a definate issue here. its not right or normal for this type of relationship to exist. there is no possible way you should be able to connect on any level with an 18 year old unless you yourself have some deep rooted issues. and there is no way an 18 year old would want to connect with someone your age unless she has some deep rooted issues. i dont mean to come down on you, im just stating facts, this situation is fragile, abnormal, and morally questionable. you are walking a tight rope rigiht now with no safety net. im quite surprised, a person with your background and current career wouldnt know better than to avoid this sort of thing.

slo007

I agree.

amisconception

heh

it wouldn't be an issue if he was just banging IMO

but intimacy? sharing? exhanging ideas and connecting on an intellectual level? that's questionable

no offense

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

Do you help her with her Algebra? It just doesn't seem right.

Red-CL

Red-CL

LoL

I'm 26 and feel the same way.
It seems like I can't even talk to chicks that are younger than about 23.

kevin79925

kevin79925

well then send em my way mister! kuz ill hit it!

1killercls

20 years age diff is a tad extreme IMO.

Gilgamesh

At 23 I can't talk to 18, 19, 20, and some 21 year olds. There are rare exceptions, I have a friend who is 19, but she is more mature than even some 25 year olds I know.

dustbuster4

Point well taken.

Your assessment is a little harsh, but not outside the realm of how most of society would respond. I don't think it's an issue of "knowing" right from wrong, but rather how one acts on their feelings. I question my actions, everytime I think of her (or when I'm with her). I think this is why I posed the issue.

Ultimately, I know this relationship won't last, but I think my original query remains: How do you guys cope with the "sex without relationship" dynamic? It's not new to me in knowledge, but it is VERY new to me on an emotional level.



BTW: Is 20 years age difference unacceptable to most (or is it just the fact that she's 18)? Personally, I don't think it matters much after age 35 to 40.

ferizzo

wow, you guys are being harsher than I expected. Then again I can't say I disagree but I was looking at it as just a fuck buddy.

Personally at 27 I would lean more towards the MILF side and a good 28-35 year old...but alas I am a married man

dustbuster4

I guess another thing I forgot to mention is that MAYBE I should just be approaching this person as a "fuck buddy".

However, that thought sickens me.

When I'm involved with someone, it's never viewed (by me) as a quick fuck or something of that nature. That's not my style.

So, in an attempt to come to terms with this current relationship, I am viewing her as a equal, as someone I care for, and as someone whom I just don't fuck. It's hard for me to even think of her as a "fuck buddy". That's my age showing. I guess I need to relax and get with the times.

I always knew that I was a little "different!"

Always Dirty

Hate to bring it up in this thread, but this girl is closer in age to your daughter than to you. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.

I think the whole sport fucking/fuck buddy scene is great if it stays that way, but it rarely does. One side or the other almost always pushes to take it that next step and then things get ugly.
In the meantime, good work DB - when are the pics coming?

ferizzo

you almost redeemed yourself with that last line but I must say I was disappointed in reading something that didn't make me laugh and the fact that I was actually reading a serious post from you in this section of the forum!

jimcol711

how does a 38 year old even approach or attempt to seduce or touch an 18 year old and not feel dirty, ashamed or feel like a criminal. i mean think about it, less than a few months ago, doing this would land you in prison for years and destroy your career, life, and everything youve worked for and everything youve overcome. at 24 years of age, i would almost feel bad touching an 18 year old, like i was taking advantage of a situation in which she should know better. much like this situation. both of you should know better than to do this. this girl is looking for a father and was probably abused in her past. this type of behavior is common among young girls who were abused sexually or physically. normal 18 year old girls would never look at a 38 year old man and think "sex". and no offense here whatsoever, dustbuster, but youre not exactly george clooney or brad pitt, so its not like shes head over heals smitten with your looks. there are some psychological issues at hand. major ones at that

Always Dirty

And if/when her parents ever find out they'll be looking for blood.

Always Dirty

Shit. My bad. I had attached a captioned picture that must have somehow been deleted. Here it is:

Dust and the little lady on their first date-

ferizzo

much better dirty! aahhhhhh!

Hey, its not like anyone busts Hefner's balls so why bust on Dustbuster?

dustbuster4

Too many peeps here are adding their own issues into the thread.

Obviously I have NO issue with the age thing. That's not the point of the thread. GET OVER IT!!!!!! :P

All I wanted to know is how you guys deal with the body buddy/fuck buddy issue. It's new to me, and I'm not sure how to handle it!

Always Dirty

The best you can do is to play it cool. Don't get too attached (calling each other non-stop, getting jealous, etc) and just take things as they come. And definitely make sure you are absolutely sure she is 18, even if it means getting licenses out to look at each other's pictures or some other excuse.

wipe0ut

yeh i dunno man.

whatever y0u do, dont start falling for this girl. she will change over time and want different things. she is teh y0ung. y0u are teh old.

continue to hit it. then hit her friends. hit it one more time. then hit her friend's friends.

ferizzo

I'm sure the resident pimps can better answer but what I would do is not hang around and do too many social things, just enough to keep on fucking. The more you hang the more one of you might get attached. If you start spending too much time together then it starts getting serious.

ferizzo

finally get the friends to hit each other and make sure you get your cock involved...or at least get to watch!

as a matter of fact ask her if she would be with another woman for you!

jimcol711

i dunno man, its not fair to just disregard the fact that this situation is really messed up. it doesnt matter if you can turn a blind eye to the fact but think about it from another perspective. her parents would try their damnedest to have you incarserated no doubt, at the very least, absolutely forbid her from ever seeing you. think of what your freinds and family would say, most would probably be ashamed. you have a daughter, how would you feel if a 38 year old grown man was sleeping with her after she just turned 18, you woudl think he was a sick pedophile, a pervert. dustbuster, i gotta say, given the information youve been forthcoming with about your past and your life, im really surprised you are going down this road, and seemingly enjoying it no less.

ricecake

I'm not entirely sure that an 18 year old can grapple with the issue of separating emotions and sexual intimacy, fwiw. At least not in the same terms or with the same complexity that a 38 year old who usually has had more relationships and more sexual experiences. Girls at 18 have a ways to go emotionally because they generally have not had that many experiences. the fact that you are pressing the issue of what you should do to mentally divorce and deal with sexual intimacy vs. emotional connection--and that you are blowing off other people's concerns with the age gap--tells me that you are not accounting for a lot of important factors (which other people are alluding to) that may come back to haunt you in the end.

mantis23

jim is at it again. gotta love the guy.

2003type-s6

Ummm, don't mean to hate, but as a "Therapist/Addictions Counselor" I would think you would know better. Girls like this have mad mental issues, and have usually been abused as children. Most likely the longer you keep this thing going the worse the outcome will be. She is definately tweaked in the head. You better just keep it sexual and don't lead her on otherwise. You should get some counseling too.

TypeSAddict

Dude, that's nasty. I'm 18 and get chills thinking about one of my female friends having sex with someone my father's age.

anothercls

I would think if your happy, go for it, only you and her have to worry about it, and maybe her parents, as they may not like it so much. You should get some family history though, if her father wasn't around, there is a very good chance she is replacing her dad with you in some ways, not many from what your saying, but a couple possibly.

I am not sure how to keep a relationship going like this, but as time passes you will find ways.

Enjoy it and don't worry about anyone else, your choice.

Python2121

x100000

Python2121

im sorry, like jim, i cant even answer your question before questioning the relationship

its not normal, think about that. there is a reason its not normal

people said you had a daughter, which would make it more fucked up because then you would at least be able to relate to what her parents would say

pianoman41

Are you taking her to the prom?

DarkSithCL

iTrader: (1)

[QUOTE=dustbuster4]I guess another thing I forgot to mention is that MAYBE I should just be approaching this person as a "fuck buddy".

However, that thought sickens me.

When I'm involved with someone, it's never viewed (by me) as a quick fuck or something of that nature. That's not my style.

So, in an attempt to come to terms with this current relationship, I am viewing her as a equal, as someone I care for, and as someone whom I just don't fuck. It's hard for me to even think of her as a "fuck buddy". That's my age showing. I guess I need to relax and get with the times.

I do NOT think you should "relax and get with the times"...it is just this kinda thinking that is ruining our society. I am not messed up by you dating a younger woman...my best relationship was with a woman 11 years younger than me...but anyway, God presents different women to you, it is up to you to decide with His help which one is right for you...just as long as she doesn't go psycho on you, you might have the best relationship of your life...I still wish I had gotten us closer to God and had the sense to marry that younger woman...
:'(

98CLChick

I'm close to the girl's age (I'm 19) and I couldn't even imagine being with a guy who is over the age of 30, let alone 38. I thought the age difference between my bf and I was pushing it (he's 23). It's an interesting situation, to say the least.