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Sex Question - Frequency

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Old 06-21-2006 | 10:05 AM
  #161  
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Originally Posted by 1killercls
I have been married nine years. It takes a little work sometimes to keep the home fires burnin', but if you keep thing interesting ...
farm animals?
Old 06-21-2006 | 10:56 AM
  #162  
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Originally Posted by CrockPot
farm animals?
Old 06-21-2006 | 11:54 AM
  #163  
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Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
How can you turn down head??? Considering that's one of the only ways to put a lid on the for a few minutes. Plus you don't have to do anything, and can say she "sucked" it all out of you and you don't have any energy left for sex.



This man speaks the truth!


"good job honey, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Old 06-21-2006 | 03:05 PM
  #164  
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I've been there and here were my causes:

1. Boredom with the relationship
2. Deep Depression
3. Because of #2, medication made me impotent (but not enough for a little PC Pr0n and self satisfaction)
Old 06-21-2006 | 03:18 PM
  #165  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
Your best friend married the wrong person .

He sounds like he's way too high-strung and stressed out to be married to someone more laid back. From your description it doesn't sound like she's ugly at all.

Turning down a BJ from one's WIFE is retarded! He freaking married her, so what the hell is wrong with getting a BJ from a fairly good looking girl who also happens to be his wife.

I can see a few legitimate reasons for turning down intercourse:

1. Lots of effort
2. Just not in the mood
3. Performance Anxiety


But the only reasons I turned a BJ from someone I was dating was:

1. Sore cock from jerkin it too much.
2. Was drunk or had severe allergies/cold from pollen outside.


That's about it.

YOU, my gay friend, are an idiot
Old 06-21-2006 | 03:20 PM
  #166  
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Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
How can you turn down head??? Considering that's one of the only ways to put a lid on the for a few minutes. Plus you don't have to do anything, and can say she "sucked" it all out of you and you don't have any energy left for sex.
I meant having her around at all


If she is with me this is all I get:
Old 06-21-2006 | 03:22 PM
  #167  
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BTW, where the hell is Cali with the updates
Old 06-21-2006 | 03:26 PM
  #168  
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Isn't it usually guys who wants it more then girls?
Old 06-21-2006 | 03:53 PM
  #169  
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Originally Posted by Newplay1
Isn't it usually guys who wants it more then girls?
Yes, unless they're bored and/or cheating and/or gay.
Old 06-21-2006 | 04:38 PM
  #170  
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Originally Posted by ludachrisvt

YOU, my gay friend, are an idiot
Outline anything I said that was stupid, please. I don't understand what's wrong with my post.
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:08 PM
  #171  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
Your best friend married the wrong person .

He sounds like he's way too high-strung and stressed out to be married to someone more laid back. From your description it doesn't sound like she's ugly at all.

Turning down a BJ from one's WIFE is retarded! He freaking married her, so what the hell is wrong with getting a BJ from a fairly good looking girl who also happens to be his wife.

I can see a few legitimate reasons for turning down intercourse:

1. Lots of effort
2. Just not in the mood
3. Performance Anxiety



But the only reasons I turned a BJ from someone I was dating was:

1. Sore cock from jerkin it too much.
2. Was drunk or had severe allergies/cold from pollen outside.


That's about it.
There you go.
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:09 PM
  #172  
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Maybe I was a little harsh calling you an idiot. You are just misinformed maybe?

HE IS BORED.
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:22 PM
  #173  
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Originally Posted by Newplay1
Isn't it usually guys who wants it more then girls?
Absolutely dude, but notice that it took her 2-3 weeks to notice that they hadn't done it in a while. A guy would notice in 2-3 days.
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:27 PM
  #174  
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Not much to update... they had another "talk" and apparently she got some lovin' but who knows how it will go in the future... that may have been a "pity fuck" for all I know. However he did say he's real stressed from looking for a new job, and when he gets home he's just tired and not in the mood, and figures she's okay with it since they have the rest of their lives to fuck like bunnies.

I'll keep you posted in a few weeks.
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:34 PM
  #175  
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Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
There you go.
i woulda highlighted the LOTS OF EFFORT part... not that much effort when you think about it...

1. just get nekkid
2. lay there
3. she goes to werk on you!!!

you really dont do shit!!!
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:36 PM
  #176  
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Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
Maybe I was a little harsh calling you an idiot. You are just misinformed maybe?

HE IS BORED.
he needs to be bitch slapped!
Old 06-21-2006 | 05:50 PM
  #177  
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To answer the original question... my thoughts (sorry if any of these have been discussed before, I did not read the thread).

He could be simply bored with their sex life.

He could not find her attractive anymore. Maybe getting married and living with her has brought things to light that he didn't realize before. Maybe she stopped trying to look good for him.

It could be non-physical things that cause this lack of attraction. Maybe she nags him too much. Maybe she leaves dirty dishes out and it pisses him off.

Maybe he is uncomfortable with himself. Did HE put on weight or anything?

Maybe they have worked their way into a 'friends' relationship. I've found that if I spend huge amounts of time with my girlfriend she becomes more of a best friend and companion and the sexual aspects get ignored.



Originally Posted by Newplay1
Isn't it usually guys who wants it more then girls?
Usually, I guess, but not always. I think the guys that want it substantially more than their girlfriends aren't giving their girlfriends anything to want.

Old 06-21-2006 | 09:38 PM
  #178  
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Originally Posted by BEETROOT
I think the guys that want it substantially more than their girlfriends aren't giving their girlfriends anything to want.

Never thought of it that way.
Old 06-21-2006 | 10:26 PM
  #179  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
Your best friend married the wrong person


That's actually quite laughable to me! They're going through a dry spell and you think they obviously shouldn't have married?! Pff! How did you come to that conclusion?

IMO, two reasons why the divorce rate is so high: People don't do their homework before getting married, and couples are lazy or aren't committed enough to work through some of the tougher times. So many people give up at the slightest sign of a problem, whereas I believe most issues can be resolved if both people actually put in some effort and dedication. Everyone has a 'bad day' or tough times, and when you consider you spend every day with your spouse, you're bound to be there when he/she experiences a few of 'em.

Old 06-21-2006 | 11:20 PM
  #180  
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Originally Posted by Street Spirit


That's actually quite laughable to me! They're going through a dry spell and you think they obviously shouldn't have married?! Pff! How did you come to that conclusion?

IMO, two reasons why the divorce rate is so high: People don't do their homework before getting married, and couples are lazy or aren't committed enough to work through some of the tougher times. So many people give up at the slightest sign of a problem, whereas I believe most issues can be resolved if both people actually put in some effort and dedication. Everyone has a 'bad day' or tough times, and when you consider you spend every day with your spouse, you're bound to be there when he/she experiences a few of 'em.

I said that because there is a lack of the C-word, communication, in that marriage, and it's only 8 months into it. How is a couple supposed to last if they can't even communicate well in the first 8 months? That's just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

I agree with your comment about issues being able to be resolved with enough effort and dedication. That is a true statement and I'm watching my parents go through that very thing because people change over time.
Old 06-22-2006 | 05:30 AM
  #181  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
Your best friend married the wrong person .
He sounds like he's way too high-strung and stressed out to be married to someone more laid back. From your description it doesn't sound like she's ugly at all.
Originally Posted by youngTL
I said that because there is a lack of the C-word, communication, in that marriage, and it's only 8 months into it. How is a couple supposed to last if they can't even communicate well in the first 8 months? That's just my opinion, feel free to disagree.
He's too high-strung, she's laid back, and they're having trouble communicating after 5 years of dating/8 months of marriage. They should definitely throw in the towel - he married the wrong person.....They'll never last.

Cali:

Sounds like he's already told his wife what's bothering him: being unemployed/searching for a new job. That's a major stressor for him, and IMO, completely understandable. Once there's not as much stress and chaos with that aspect of his life, and when he feels settled and at ease again (internally), I bet things'll relax a lot at home. I wouldn't worry.

Just my
Old 06-22-2006 | 05:40 AM
  #182  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
I agree with your comment about issues being able to be resolved with enough effort and dedication. That is a true statement and I'm watching my parents go through that very thing because people change over time.
That's awesome, and a rarity these days (so it seems). I hope everything works out in a way that makes everyone happy.
Old 06-22-2006 | 03:45 PM
  #183  
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Originally Posted by Caliadria
She's going to stay at a hotel for a couple of days and see if absence makes his heart grow fonder... she's thinking it's an issue of familiarity breeding contempt. If not, then I dunno what the next steps are... she'll be thinking that over in her lonely room, I suppose. Anybody living in St. Louis willing to "cheer her up"?
Old 06-22-2006 | 04:21 PM
  #184  
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^^ That reminds me... on your advice, I nixed the hotel idea and so she went home that night, which is when they had their last "talk." Thanks, guys.
Old 06-22-2006 | 04:58 PM
  #185  
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Good to hear. If she ever needs cheering up, I'll glady volunteer my time.
Old 06-22-2006 | 06:49 PM
  #186  
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Originally Posted by Caliadria
^^ That reminds me... on your advice, I nixed the hotel idea and so she went home that night, which is when they had their last "talk." Thanks, guys.
I think it's a great idea that they communicate with each other as well as possible to work through this. There's nothing worse than "guessing" about your partner and trying to make decisions with little information.

If he really is a good guy and he's stressed about finding a new job she might want to help him in his search. Her helping him find another job and eliminating that stressor will help both of them achieve their goals quicker.

I wish her well.
Old 06-22-2006 | 10:41 PM
  #187  
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if stress is the true problem,

then suggest to them to make love in the morning, BEFORE he goes out job hunting. therefore, he'll start his day off with a bang... less stressful.. and probably have better luck.

but regardless of what happens, this guy sounds like a total fag.
Old 06-22-2006 | 11:59 PM
  #188  
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Originally Posted by the_Osk
but regardless of what happens, this guy sounds like a total fag.


Mike
Old 06-23-2006 | 12:23 AM
  #189  
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Awwww ... less talks, more excuses for me to make a trip down to St Louis next time. Was it a nice hotel, or just a 'Super 8?' The beds @ Red Roof are really nice. Actually, that's why I'm awake right now. Dead tired, but "furnished apartment" mattresses are awful.

Caliadria threads are like Disney movies, except the ending is really disappointing!
Old 06-23-2006 | 12:45 AM
  #190  
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Originally Posted by Caliadria
That actually reminds me... he DOES wack off, and that's why she's so confused. If he wasn't wacking off either, then that'd be one thing, obviously a physical problem on his side, but he has a pretty healthy self-love schedule, apparently.

So why would a man suddenly prefer his hand to a warm piece of poontang?
she needs to accidently fall on his dick sometimes!
Old 06-23-2006 | 09:33 AM
  #191  
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Originally Posted by asianspec
she needs to accidently fall on his dick sometimes!
What's she supposed to say then? "Whoops, my pussy slipped!"
Old 06-23-2006 | 03:33 PM
  #192  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
What's she supposed to say then? "Whoops, my pussy slipped!"
if she told me that.. that would be a valid excuse to me.
then again i like sex
Old 06-23-2006 | 03:42 PM
  #193  
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Originally Posted by PimpCL23
if she told me that.. that would be a valid excuse to me.
I would be ok with that.
Old 07-03-2006 | 01:55 PM
  #194  
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Originally Posted by Street Spirit
So many people give up at the slightest sign of a problem, whereas I believe most issues can be resolved if both people actually put in some effort and dedication. .



So damn true!! It seems like some couples will have a problem and they just run thinking that some other person wont have that same problem. Perhaps that true, but that other person will have other things that will drive them equally crazy. everyone should just work on their issue which every couple has and stop looking for outs. Dedication, staying the course, realizing that you may be wrong, being unselfish.... these are lost qualities it seems nowadays
Old 07-04-2006 | 07:33 PM
  #195  
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I'm a little late in this thread, but something's definately wrong. I don't care how long they've been together, how stressed out he is with work, or whatever other bullshit excuses he has. They need to separate for a while until he gets around to his senses. It seems to me that he's either playing for the other team, or he's with someone else on the side (both which have been mentioned numerous times here), but bottom line, let them separate for a while and see what happens.
Old 07-05-2006 | 11:23 PM
  #196  
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Unhappy

Originally Posted by Caliadria

Good friend, recently married. Her husband just doesn't want to have sex with her anymore. She says he's never really been very horny , so she didn't really notice at first that they hadn't been doing it that often until she sat back and realized it'd been like 3 weeks since he even touched her, and probably a month before that. So she apparently tried to reconcile with him and explain to him that she has "needs", and he laughed and agreed with her and promised to be more attentive, but now it's been another 2 weeks and they only did it that one day that they had the conversation.

She really doesn't think he's seeing anyone else or cheating on her in any capacity, because he's pretty religious and very dedicated to the marriage itself. But for some reason he's just not interested in her sexually.

What could be some reasons for this? She hasn't gained weight or nagged about wanting children, or any of the obvious things. Is it possible that he just doesn't have a sex drive? Are any of you like that? Is there anything you can suggest that she could do to entice him into bed with her? Is this retarded that she even has to ask these questions? I'm really at a loss here... I don't know what to tell her.
suggestions for your friend:

1. why don't you suggest that they both join a gym together, and lift weights, as a couple. Testosterone is the hormone of desire for both men and women, and the only way to increase it naturally in young people is exercise. if they pump iron for 3 months, they'd be fucking each other like rabits in no time

2. The only other thing I can suggest is for the wife to ambush him with the whole porn thing. I advise her to go to a local video store, and check out the different categories of dvds that are out there. Let her find a genre or topic that intrests her(doesn't have to be lesbianism ). Then after renting a few from that category, she should tell the husband that she has wants to stay in bed and watch some "movies", with him. He'll be shocked straight to discover that they are filfth. They should then proceed to watch it together, and see if it turns them on. She should also suggest, that since she is now into the whole porn thing, they should watch it together, whenever he feels horney, and gets the urge for a solo session!
Old 07-06-2006 | 09:43 AM
  #197  
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any updates on this situation yet Cali?
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