I get asked a lot about what do I do when this happens or what do I do when she acts like this, or how do I approach this situation in a relationship. So I decided to create this "Rules of Engagement" for guys who want to go to a central source for answers to common questions. Instead of creating a whole thread about it each time it happens repetitively! It can be about anything concerning relationships: problems, sex, dating, etc.

So feel free to add your own rules and ask questions so that guys and yes, ladies too, know what's up! I'll go first so you understand the method to my madness! Humor is cool, but this is a real "Help Section", so try to help at the same time ok!

Oh yeah...I think we should maintain a topic numbering system, so we don't have to type what topic we are referring to when we respond to questions. Like say in your post what topic number it is about so the person that is reading knows!

Ok...let's go guys, and remember to try to keep it on topic!

 

How do I approach a woman to ask her out on a date?

Well...it depends. But one thing is for certain...you must feel confident!

It may sound crazy, but I feel that it is far easier to break the ice by simply just going up to someone and starting a conversation. Anything instead of a "pick-up line".

Like, if you work with her, strike up some conversation with her about the job. It always helps to have a common ground. Then just wait for the proper flow of conversation to get to the point. If along the way you said something funny, you know showed a sense of humor, it would help.

Now, for someone you don't know out in the street, it's a little trickier, but same principle. The woman you are approaching has something about her, or the place where you are, that you can talk about. Everyone and everything does. Just look for it, pick it out, and go with it. But the person you are hitting on will smell thru the BS if you don't look the part, so at least TRY to look like you are really interested in what you are talking about. Just transition smoothly, at some point, into the "purpose"! Could be quickly or slowly, you will know if the conversation clicks! But also know when to fold.

You can always, if you feel really confident about yourself, just go up to the person and ask them out right on the spot! But this is straight up hit or miss if she doesn't like you right away - so I don't advise this for the "faint at heart" with minimal "game" if you really want the prize!

Good luck!

 

How about a shy girl that you are interested in but have never spoken to and is in your class but you have assigned seating and are on the opposite side of the room?

 

That's easy...when the bell rings...use Topic #1! You have plenty to talk about and you have a lot in common - whatever the class subject is! Ask her what her opinion is about what you discussed in class that day. Being in the same class with someone is instant conversation dude!

 

^^^ Sounds like topic #1 ...you can find your answer there.

 

Yeah, I've tried to time it where we both would be getting out at the same time, but havent been smooth about it yet. Unfortunately the class is boring as shit and the girls that i've met aren't so intellectual at uf. Doesn't help that I'm shy as well, but one of these days I gotta step it up.

 

Okay people, let me help you guys out! There are certain ways you can approach a female without sounding cocky or too forward and you'll get a good response from the receiving end! I don't gaurantee that this will get you laid (haha), but it will prevent females from snubbing you or think of you as a perv/jerk/etc.

This actually happened years ago. So, take note! haha

There was this one guy, who out of nowhere, came up to me and gave me one of thee most genuine and sincere compliments! Then again, it could've been part of his "game", but regardless if he was sincere or not, he definitely didn't turn me off!

It's as simple as saying, "Hi, I'm not trying to bust a move on you, but I just wanted to tell you how beautiful your smile was." Then he proceeds to walk away. The fact that he walked away made me think, "okay, he's not asking for anything more..." and so I walked towards him and told him "Thank You". Bare in mind that this was a guy who wasn't really my type, but the fact that he was courteous and respectful in his approach, if I wanted....I would've talked to him even more! But since I was with friends, I didn't engage in an elaborate conversation. So, the fact that I was actually willing to chit chat with him for a bit despite him not being my type was telling that this guy was cool!

So, the lesson is....be respectful and genuine when complimenting and approaching a female! Believe me, it's all in the APPROACH! Pulling a girls arm, grabbing their butt, or saying something asinine will NOT get you that second glance! hahahaa I've seen it and experienced it and it's not pretty!

And if you can get the attention of someone who is not your type, then at least you can build a friendship on that! Don't be disappointed if it doesn't develop into anything romantic. Just be grateful that the other person even gave you a second look! Besides, at least you meet a new friend and if she has other cute friends, then she can help you out! Don't miss the oppurtunity to meet new females just because the person you were interested in wasn't into you. Believe me, you won't lose out on a thing....if anything you gain so much more! Who knows? Maybe her friend would be a better match for you anyway!

 

off topic..sorry
but your at UF too??

 

Good stuff Nightwalker!

Renegade: That's right, get your confidence up! Then you will find that it is easier to come up with conversation because you will be more relaxed. Check this out for an intro, based on what you said in your last post:

You: Hey, how are you?
Her: Ok (cuz she's shy)
You: Question: Is it just me, or is this class boring as heck?
Her: "chuckle" (yeah, you have to do all the work here), or she actually says something in response to help you
You: First, respond according to what she said. Then, "Hi, my name is ___". I sit on the other side of the room from you and I noticed you never fall asleep. How do you do that?
Her: chuckle or response and name
You: Say something complimentary about her that you notice right there.
Her: Thanks (smiles)
You: Hey, I was right.
Her: About what?
You: You really are pretty down to earth. Well, pretty and down to earth that is. I always wondered if you had a nice personality since you never really say anything. Good to know you're pretty cool. (shake her hand softly)

The smile or the type of response you get let's you know if the girl wants you to go away, or thinks you are "ok". All you need is "ok" to build on. You don't need the home run right away (nice if you do tho). At some point you are going to have to separate to go to the next class or wherever, so ask if you can talk later. Offer her your number, remember she is shy so don't ask for hers. If class is over for the day, offer to get a bite to eat with her and some laughs. If you managed to hold her attention this long, you are in there! Good luck!

 

@ darksom.. that is some good stuff, but that last line sounded a bit cheesy

 

Thanks dude! But wanna know something funny? I never practice what to say to someone. I just walk up to them and start talking. It's innate! Trying to tell someone what to say can sound corny at times because when you are reading it, it sounds like a line. I'm much, much better impromptu! I have a cheetah's mentality!

 

I feel so sorry for people with no game. Life must suck.

 

Just walk up to her and say "So . . Wanna F*k ? ".

 

*in joey voice*

"how you doooin?"

 

I lost my game in the 80's

 

I think it's like a sliding scale. I have no game compared to some of my friends but look like Don Juan compared to others. I found a few years back that trying to develop "game" is a futile effort, but finding something mutual to talk about and just working from there can work wonders. That's pretty much how i met my gf. I never really "spit game" at her.

 

That's what I always say about myself dawg! I don't call what I do "game"...I just call it being me! I just walk up to a woman and be me!

 

^^yeah homes but you being "you" is like kobe being "kobe" that's all good, i just be bron-bron

 

Good advice but I feel I should add:

Just don't make the focus of your conversations the class material.

The whole point is to get to know her, maybe even intimately, assuming she's cool.

Sure, you can bring up the class, but if you don't at least indirectly express your interest in her she'll assume you're just another guy trying to play nice because you're too scared to make a move. She'll classify you as a chump and erase you from her memory all together.

Most women want men, not scared boys. Men know what they want and they go for it - even if they stumble, fail, and look stupid.

Keep it all in perspective.

 

Sincerity is definitely a great tool to use.

But, that does not mean that full disclosure is necessary or warranted. Just because a woman finds it attractive that you were able to be sincere about something doesn't mean you should spill your guts. Especially if she doesn't feel a certain way about you.

Sincerity, for the most part, should be reserved for times when you have built some rapport and know that it's not wasted on someone who isn't going to see you ever again anyway.

The guy that walked up to TSX, sure he was a cupcake sweetydoll babyface, but he didn't get her number, didn't get laid, and will never have anything to do with her ever again. Sure, he boosted TSX's ego a bit, but it's not our jobs as men to boost women's egos. It's our biological imperative to find attractive women that want to sleep with us (at the very least) or have a great relationship with.

If you're not results oriented, then what are you?

And TSX's advice about girl "friends" is pretty good. Just realize that you will have to spend substantial amounts of time with that girl "friend" you just made before she starts handing you off to her girlfriends.

That time could be spent in the gym or with your boys going out finding girls that really do dig you on your terms.

 

Damn right!

Amis man...that's why we are cooler than the other side of the pillow! I couldnt've said it better myself!! But you know what though? The less people that are like us...the greater our volume of selection (women)!

 

1. Ignore them.
2. When they start conversation with you ask them if they want to fuck.

 

Well, the reason why I feel that sincerity is good in ALL aspects doesn't mean it should be taken to a level where you bare your heart and soul! That's a totally different time and place.

All I'm saying is that a man should be able to talk to a woman with genuineness and sincerity because we don't want a bunch of LINES being said to us! What's the point of talking to a woman or ANYONE for that matter if all you say is BS! You can't go on life trying to BS your way through everything! No one is ever going to take you seriously! It's like not being able to TRUST anyone! What's the point if you don't trust anyone when it's the very thing that enables you to start any kind of relationship with anyone whether it's romantic or any kind of relationship! You NEED to be able to trust people regardless if you have been burned in the past! I admit, as much trust issues I have come across in my life you would think that I would be one of those people (or woman) that would NEVER trust anyone! Yeah, there was a time where I felt that way, but I realized that I can't go through life not being able to trust anyone! I take trust very seriously and when that is taken away it is very hard to gain that back with me! I'm cautious on who I trust, but the bottom line is...I DO trust people to a certain degree and when they earn that trust, I give it my all to trust them completely!

When I speak my mind about things, it's not all about the dating world....I talk about the WORLD in its entirety! How it will affect you as a person and your everyday life! The dating world is a small fraction of what life has to offer you and if you can't learn how the world works then you are SCREWED! That's why I incorporate everything that I talk about when it comes to relationships because it encompasses every facet of our lives!

So, when I say "come correct" I expect....let me rephrase that....I demand RESPECT! You are not gonna go up to a woman like (assuming that I am every bit of the ideal woman: intelligent, classy, sexy, down to earth, humorous, etc) me and get me to give you a second glance by grabbing my a$$ or busting some sorry a$$ line! If you're gonna do that, don't even bother stepping up to me! The difference between me and the rest of the woman out there is that my HEART is the ruler of my being and I don't judge or completely disregard any man just because of their looks, height, stature, etc. I guess you can say I'm an equal opportunity employer! hahahaha I'm attracted to humor, intelligence, everything little thing a man can offer that brings a smile to my face!

Case in point, I liked this guy who at first was just a friend and as I got to know him he was soooo coool and such a sweet AND nice guy! One thing you might notice is that he's not really the type of guy I normally would go for PHYSICALLY! He was a bit chunky, okay looking, and not tall at all....but what stood out to me about him was his HUMOR, the way he carried himself and of course his love for MUSIC! I mean this guy is a world famous dj who was such a humble and talented guy and I was completely into that! He exuded the kind of aura that I respect in a guy and most importantly he respected me! He may not have been the best looking I've been interested in, but he made up for it in so much more! It was obvious that we were both into eachother, but I think the only reason why he rejected me is because he had a history with his ex! They were broken up at the time and I was a friend and helped him through it and eventually developed some kind of interest! But when he decided to give their relationship another chance (eve tho she's cheated on him so many times) he couldn't let go of the HISTORY they had together, so I cared about him enough as a friend to allow him to do what he thought was best for him! And even though they're married and have a kid, we're still pretty good friends!

So, my point is......there are woman out there who really can open up to men who may not be their type! It's just a matter of trying to get to that point in the beginning is what's important! You can't develop trust and friendship when a guy that steps up to a woman and comes of abrasive! You won't get ANYWHERE that way! If every man out there was in "hunting" mode, imagine how hard it would be for a woman to see them for WHO they are! It's a scary thing for a woman to put herself out there and get all these guys wanting to pounce her! That's not the way to go about it! I have known guys who have been that way, but when they are really into a woman they will change their approach and show them RESPECT! I'm telling you, I'm like one of the guys so I know how most men are! Believe me, I knw the tricks of the trade! That's the reason why I know whatsup to a certain degree how a man is! I have guy friends who are straight players and when they're really into a chick, they change their approach! It just depends on what kind of impression women give to men, but for the most part...just RESPECT a woman! It's the easiest way to get to where you want and like I said even if it doesn't work out...who cares....learn from your mistake and just give it another try! Rejection is every part of anything that humans do and if you can't come off that a better person then you will never make it in this world!

And this is coming from a woman who is knows what she wants and who is open and honest about everything! I know it may seem cliche but I KEEP IT REAL! If you're not real to others, then you are not who you really are to people and you don't want to start off a relationship with a LIE! Even on the net, I'm real! There's no reason for me to lie! BEsides, I'm a bad LIAR! haha

So, keep that in mind the next time you feel that it's not worth creating a friendship as a foundation! It's not about hooking yourself up...it's about your overall take on LIFE!

 

What you guys don't get is that you ASSUME there's nothing that will come out of something so innocent as meeting people on a certain level different from the dating world! Why not expect a friendship that can blossom! If your mindstate is to constantly want to sleep with a chick, then you're on a wrong road! Yeah, women think the same thing...we say to ourselves, "can I picture myself kissing this guy?" in order to determine if they're someone we would consider romantically! So, you guys aren't the only ones that think that way! We wonder those things too, but we put that in the back of our minds until we get to know them enough to be build on what we started! And naturally, things will fall into place! You either get the girl or you don't...but regardless....you just roll with the punches and continue looking for the right girl to come along! Not everyone is going to be that special.....but I don't want people thinking that it's not possible to find someone who is! It'll happen when it's meant to happen! Just don't go into a situation thinking with the WRONG head! hahaha

 

Did you expect me to read all of this?

 

Yo doopstr and Shalooby, seriously, have you ever gone up to anyone you didn't know and straight up asked them if they want to fuck? No intro, no nothing, just straight like that? Just curious fellas...

 

As a matter of fact...is there anybody besides myself, who has actually done this? What did you say and what happened? I would never do that again (because I've been drinking milk since then), but here is what happened when I did...yeah, yeah...you know ya boy Dark has a "Tale from the Darkside" for all his shit:

So I go in this house party with my boys one night, place is live and the women are flowing. I always can tell when a woman likes me, and I saw one looking my way with that same type of look in her eye...like she wonder what I fuck like! Well, at least that's what "I" was thinking! Me and my lizard! LOL! Don't fuck with me ya'll, you know how I do - Imma be true to you!

So I go over to her (cuz fuck all this looking and what not - you can't strike out from the dugout!). She was sitting on a lil barstool kind of thing, and as I approached her "Mack-a-dai-mianly", I saw her smile at me like she knew I was coming. I was smiling too, but not for that Sam-Sausagehead shit, but because the rack was exact! I fucking love titties! I'm a mess in some breasts! No doubt! I lean over to her ear, and I said "With all due respect, I wanna fuck your brains out! Now, I was over there looking at you, looking at me, and I could've swore you were thinking the same thing! Was I wrong?" I grabbed her hand softly to pull it close to me, and allow it to run the length of my print, (I was close, so no one else could see). She said damn you are bold huh? BUT SHE DIDN'T PULL BACK! You know what I was thinking - GOT ONE!

So I pulled her to her feet and I politely led her to the middle of the room to shake dat ass, but smoothly, so that we stayed in one place because I wanted to get in back and rub my dick between the crack of her ass! Now I KNOW I'm not the only one who does this on the floor! So we dancing and what not and she looks at me with this weird look on her face. I said what's up? She - no joke - grabs both of my shirt collars and buries her face in my chest and takes a deep breath! She said damn baby, what is that you're wearing?? Don't get me to lying, cuz I don't remember what the fuck it was. LOL! I told her and she just smiled at me and I said let's go!

So we get outside to leave in her car, and her car is gone because her sister has the keys and went somewhere and hadn't come back yet! I rode with my crew, SO WE WERE SHIT-OUT-OF-LUCK!!! I was mad as fuck! So she just chilled with me for a little while longer til my crew got ready to bounce, and gave me her number to call her the next day. I did, and a fucking kid answered the phone, with another one in the background! Kid was like MAAAA!! I was laffin, and I just hung up. I didn't get down like that at the time, so I was like whatever...pussy come, pussy go, but a house full of kids? Hell No!! LOL!

CLIFFS:
1) Went to house party
2) Saw a nice broad who looked at me hard
3) Went over and asked to fuck her
4) Danced a little with my dick in the crack of her ass
5) Left out to go fuck
6) Her car was gone (her sister), I rode with fellas so didn't have mine
7) Shit out of luck that night
8) Call her next day and she has at least two kids
9) I bounced

 

Basically, yes. I mentioned it once before here, but I'll tell it again.

Girl at work that I never paid any attention to one day makes an off the cuff comment to me that she is tired and wants to go home to bed. I asked, "Can I come too?" I wasn't serious at all with my question but I got a positive out of her. I her after work that day. Got two more night out of it before she couldn't handle the F-buddy arrangement. Tells me that she wanted to dump her BF for me.

So, if you really don't give a rats ass about her go ahead and ask. It may just work.

 

I actually remembered, after posting, that there were at least two more times I said that. I have no recollection as to what happened though. But I will go on record as saying I didn't fuck, because I probably would've remembered that. At least my first time was gonna net some ass so not a total waste of practice. Your mentality was definitely the mentality I had at the time though.

 

Absolutely...

There are those off the cuff circumstances where the timing was/is just right. Personally, I have never been lucky enough to encounter situations such as what was mentioned above or in the previous post, but here in MoCo MD chances like these are few.

 

Re: Topic 1
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius

 

^^Well, he'll probably be the same dude that's thirsty, because one of those robed fops also said:

"You can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make him drink!"

 

come on now! i have no game. but somehow ive had girlfriends and plenty of hookups. right now im in a relationship of a year ( on jan 26) and savin up for a nice engagement ring.

ive been told by friends its my looks that gets them but when i actually started a conversation it was always helpful to be urself and sound and act unrehearsed. lines dont work.

emit confidence in urself.


luther

 

Hahaha...no game huh? Are you like big Luther, or lil Luther? (Vandross)

No game...must be lil Luther! hahahahaha! (j/k playa)

 

haha i have a friend that refers to me as lil luther cuz im slim. funny though!

lil luther

 

Hahaha...it's cool if the bros call you "Lil Luther", as long as the women don't playa!

 

 

Like in my over elaborative statement...LINES DON'T WORK!