Ok so I really don't date that much, I normally the hit and quit bar guy. But 5 months ago I started dating a girl that was a friend of my group of friends. Well this weekend we split up and I guess I'm okay with that. It was her idea, and if I had it my way we would still be together. But that is not in my hands.

Question being is she said that she needs her space and we were hanging out to much and she was getting alittle wary of the situation. (she wants to be single and mingle basically) Since then she has been emailing me 15-20 times a day while I'm at work just like we never split up. I did really like this girl and I'm finding it hard to get over her if she keeps acting like we are still together.

What should I say to her, that I can continue to be friends, but I really don't want to be good friends.......just go back to being acquaintances like we were before. Is that possible. I just don't want to make this uncomfortable feeling in my group of friends. Any help is appreciated

 

the level of 'uncomfortableness' will all have to do with both of your personality types... i don't have a problem hanging out with people that i've dated with after we've broken up 1- cuz usually i break it off, and 2 - i just don't care enough to make it awkward...

just ask her if you're just acquaintances how come she e-mails you 15-20 times a day, does she e-mail all her other acquaintances 15-20 times a day?

and then just tell her what you wrote here, you dont' want to be friends with her cuz of the feelings you have etc, so you'd rather just be acquaintances... and seeing as she's the one that broke up with you she shouldn't have a prob with that...

 

Its a lost cause, things will never be the same again.

 

Tell her that as much as you want to remain friends with her, you first need space and some time for things to cool off. Given that you belong to the same circle of friends, explain that you can still hang out from time to time but that doesn't mean that she should expect that things will still be the same as if nothing happened. She's the one who broke up with you so she may not know how difficult this is for you right now.

She might get pissed with you initially, but hopefully, she'll later understand where you are coming from.

 

Yeah I know.

I know she doesn't email all her friends like that. She had my email before we dated and I never got one.

See the problem I didn't really put in my first post is. When we did break up she left it as either 1)we should just break up 2)or take it alot slower. I told her I didn't want to back off and I wouldn't so its over on my side. So for some reason I think she is trying to still leave the avenue open just in-case she changes her mind and she canmake a play to come back in. Its actually a pretty good idea on her part, but I'm the one getting played now and it sucks.

I've never actually went through a breakup with a person I cared for so this is kinda messing with my head.

 

Well, as an addendum to what sasha said, I think you should also be weary of this ex-GF. She doesn't want the commitment and yet wants the attention/service you gave her...sorry, I don't think it should work that way as it's not fair to you.

 

Well I haven't replyed to her emails from yeaterday or today. She tried to send me a few texts last night and I just responded that I was out with friends and have been busy at work. I just wanted a few opinions and ideas before i spoke to her again.

 

Agreed. Tell her to leave you the fuck alone. It isn't your job to be her emotional tampon while she sluts it up with a bunch of other dudes.

 

She is playing with your head (read: No Respect). Dump her ASAP. She should get the message when you didn't reply her emails.

 

Don't see that happening since she really isn't that way. She doesn't do that stuff and is completely against it. She has been best friends with my roommate since middle school and he said that she has only been with 4 or 5 dudes counting myslef. And there are that really close type.....since he is gay and all.

I just don't want to be that easy target, since I do still have feelings for her and I'm sure I will for awhile. I know she could find a way to sweet talk me back if she really tried hard enough and I don't want that to happen!

 

But that makes things awkward in the "circle of friends".

 

yup

 

Find new friends?

So, if she's not the slutty type than I'm sorry but she just doesn't like you in that way but instead see's you as a friend. Live with it and nicely stop asking her to stop e-mailing you.
If you can't live with being friends than you may seriously have to find new friends.

 

I will get accustomed to it, so I don't think it will get to the point of "having to get new friends". I'm sure that after this little slump in my ego I will get back out to the bars and after a few more SoCal girls I will forgot everything that happended with her. And by that point I will not be willing to give up my bachelor lifestlye again, knowing what might happen.

 

Are SoCal girls really that easy?

 

Tell her she needs to make up her mind. All or nothing. Cut all the strings.

 

I guess, I consider myself an attractive guy.......so getting girls has never been that hard for me. Sorry not trying to toot my own horn. But, to me yes girls in the beach communities around where I live are easy for the most part. You do have to shoot for a certain demographic if your looking for the random hook-up though. It was alittle more difficult in the Midwest to hook up with the same caliper of women.

 

Tell me about it.

 

I lived in Indianapolis for a year after graduating from Indiana University and man was it hard to find any women over a "6" that would be promiscous in any way. It was disappointing. Now here in San Diego a "6" here is what an "8" would have been in Indianapolis..........except that they are easy here.

 

I second that, delete all of her e-mails don't even read them. She dumped you, you didn't dump her so just don't have any contact with her until you are comfortable with just being her friend or just being acquaintance.

 

Yup thats what I've been doing. She called me twice this weekend and I just sent the calls to voicemail and deleted before listening to them. She did get to me by posting a comment on my myspace. I just can't delete her from my friends list, cause that would just be immature in my opinion. I plan on talking to her tonight after work and telling here she needs to let me figure out how I want her in my life. In other words don't call me I'll call you.

 

You could just ignore her and cut her off...you know, as if she had died and you didnt care.

 

send her emails to the junk mail folder

 

you took a shit right on your plate, good going dumbass.......

that bitch should be dead to you.

 

I say, call her up, go out with her, take her home, bang the hell out of her, and then promptly get up, and leave telling her to NEVER call you again. If she doesn't get the picture after that, then you my friend will have a stalker.