There was something brought up in a previous thread regarding a relationship between marriage and sex. I have a friend who got pregnant by a guy who shes been going out with for a month. Well, she wants to keep the baby, which I think is gonna be bad for her career. On top of this, the guy proposed to her, out of obligation I guess, and amazingly...she said yes. The thing is, I know for a fact that she doesnt love the guy, and that the only reason why she said yes was because she scared about going through the pregnancy and post pregnancy childcare by herself. So...is it really worth getting married when both people dont love each other? I feel that its fucking stupid on her part, and I want to tell her that shes making a mistake...but another side of me is telling me that If I mess with the situation...there is good chance that daddy is gonna go MIA and I dont want her to deal with that. Teh g\f and I are willing to volunteer to help her through the process...in case she does decide to change her mind...but shes gonna need some persuasion.

Discuss

 

nah! Stay out of the way. She has nothing to lose, esp if he has a decent job/insurance. Who knows, they may make a go of it.... Odds are against them, but at least they are giving it a go.

just my 2 cents..

 

gutterball!

 

Bitch...I dont care what you say...its related.

 

but really, Eggplant is right. She has already decided to keep it and that is the only decision you you could really make a difference in. Meddling in her relationship now that she has decided to keep it is pretty much like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

If she marries this guy, whats the difference. Either way, her life is forever changed. Might as well let her try and make the relationship work. If it doesnt, what's lost? 2-3 years maybe on a life that was fucked for at least 10 years as it was.

 

If it were me, I wouldn't say a thing about her decision unless she asks. It seems like you and your girl are good friends to help her through this. I don't know how old she is, but i'm sure she knows the upside and down side of her decision. Telling her you don't agree or think it's wrong may just add to her angsiety. If they are going to wait until after the baby is born to get married, then you still have some time to tactfully discuss your feelings with her. Who knows, after the baby is born, she may figuer it out on her own. If not, you may have to cross your fingers and hope for the best. If you do decide to talk to her, do it early or do it after the baby is born, just because her emotions are going to be going in 15 different directions after 2-3 months into it. I don't know if that helps, but it's just my .......good luck.....

 

Might as well let them see if it will work Some people fall in love that way and make it work. It seems really old timey but that's why the world goes 'round (also why it's disfunctional). People do things differently.

 

So are you trying to hook up with this girl? If not, stay out of it.

 

dont say anything. if the father leaves, let it be of his own accord. If its because you said something, she will always blame you for being a single mother.

 

Tough spot, if you both like the woman a lot..... the challenge may be to provide her with support, either with or without the reluctant hubby. Being a single mom is challenging, but being a married mom in an unhappy marriage is pretty lousy, and the impact on the kid is significant.

If you think you can risk it, you could suggest to her that you would support her decision however she wants to play it - and then follow through. You may need to hold back if she stays with the guy, but your patience and support may play out in the long run.

 

I knew I would marry Scott within a month after we started dating. Sometimes it just happens that way. Maybe they're lucky?

 

ABORT ABORT!!!!!!!!

Xen, i know she's your friend and it may be cluttering your judgement a bit. You know that this will be detramentle to her career. This guy who she barley knows could go postal, MIA and the list just goes on. She is gonna be financially fucked if this guy bounces and all the possibilities. It would be better to hear her bitch about being broke than guy problems. I would pay some of my friends to shut up if I could afford it.

Start persuading NOW. The clock is ticking.

 

yea, and abortion isn't gonna make things worse for her physically and emotionally

 

Do what the Jatt would do.....

I'd stay out of the decision making process and just support her in whatever she chooses to do.

 

Xeno, just found this post now, I had a friend go thru a similar situation. May 1 of last year she moved to the bay area from LA. May 15 she meet a guy. A month later he moves in with her. Come July of last year she gets preggy, decides to keep their "love child". October they get married, and this past April she had my god-daughter. This past weekend they have a huge blow up and he hits her (this hasn't been the first time) and she calls me and his parents to come break shit up. Before she even got preggy I knew this guy was a psycho, controling, dick. But she wouldn't hear about it and chose to ignore my warnings. Bottomline is there isn't much you can do except be there for them when the shit hits the fan.

Right now my friend hasn't gathered the courage to leave her abusive, psycho, husband. She has a warped way of thinking how she wants her daughter to know her daddy and have him be part of his life. Sorry to hijack this thread, but I'm also not sure what to do for her, I've tried to be the supportive friend but there isn't much else I feel I can do.

 

I wouldn't say anything to her. It would be like throwing gasoline on a fire. She's already neck-deep in shit; the last thing she needs is you telling her what you think. The best thing you can do for her is be there to support her. Unless the guy is abusive physically or mentally, don't say anything.

 

I'll have to remember to use that

 

Did he know?
You two hit it off that well huh?

 

WTF...this thread is still going.

I thought about it...and you guys were right.

I'm just gonna support her decision, and help her out. She even asked if I could go with her to her appointments with the doctor. I agreed because I heard its not good to turn down a pregnant womans request.

 

Sounds like the right choice, that's what I did with my friend that was preggy, I was there for her when she found out the sex and all that stuff. You really can't say no to a preggy person!

 

Just posting my farewell to Drake see ya around buddy.