All of my best friends either stayed back in San Jose, or went to schools a few hours away from me. As of late, which is pretty much this last year I've been becoming more and more of a recluse.

It's definitely not normal for me, I'm a pretty social guy. Its just been really hard lately, I've been feeling burnt out with school, and I don't really have any friends here. Not that I'm not trying, I go to a really artsy school (film school), I don't fit in with anyone there and it's really cliquey, I probably should have gone to a normal college. There's almost no girls at my school, no clubs to join, no one to hang out with. All the relationships with my old friends pretty much got destroyed over the time being here by working with them on projects, or we chose different majors and don't have class together anymore. I live by myself in my own apartment so I just go to school and then come back to my empty home. I don't have time for a job either.

I feel like it's finally just starting to be more then I can bear. I spend way too much time on the internet to get some kind of human interaction and smoke a pack a day or more to make myself feel better. I don't really have much to complain about, I've got a nice car, some spending money (which usually gets blown on cigarettes), pretty much set future wise, I'm a pretty good looking guy and have got a really good personality. I dont know whats wrong with me. Where I live is a small town with little to nothing to do socially. You all know how hard it is to meet people, and its especially so when you don't know anybody.

lol Before you ask, its not like I don't have any game. I've gotten enough hot girls, and that was before I've been as good shape as I am now (I do think I have BDD though). All the girls I know and could hook up with are all hours away, so that unfortunately pretty much doesn't even count.

Its hard for me to type this out, I'm kind of reserved in that sense and in real life you would never know anything was bothering me.

I dunno if I should just stick it out and hope things get better when I graduate in 09, or what . I need another cigarette...

 

transfer to a bigger school with more girls and more people you can make friends with

 

I can't exactly do that. I've already put like 60k in already, and my GPA wasn't that hot in highschool so I wouldn't be able to get into USC which has a good film program. =/

 

Put down the stogies and pick up the SoCal equivalent to "The Wave." You're from the South Bay so I'm sure you know what magazine I am talking about.

In there you will find listings of clubs, restaurants, popular hang outs, and other social or community events. I know you must have some friends at this school, invite them with you to check out a few clubs or restaurants.

I believe you when you say it gets boring, I drove down there a few times for parts trades and meet up some girl that use to go to PHHS up here that moved down. If I was still in contact with her I'd drive down and see her tell her to bring a friend and hit you up since I'm single, but I lost her number and her AIM name isn't the same. Just put yourself out on a limb and go out. You're young.

Good luck.

 

Man, at 19 I was city-hopping, show stopping and hoe-hopping! But then again, your boy Dark has always been a force to be reckoned with!

What the fuck is this down syndrome you guys keep experiencing?? At such a young age too! You are sweating the small shit way too much! Go out and enjoy yourself before you start getting older at 19, because you will have plenty of time to do that later!

Peace2fingaz!

 

what's a BDD

 

Where is your school? Ventura or San Jose?

 

In Ventura, its beautiful out here but not much to do. I should take up surfing or something.

 

As someone who goes to school here





I can understand the problem of not having a whole lot to do.


It sucks sometimes, and can feel a little claustrophobic. Couple that fact with the type of slugishness that can come with having to pretty much reinvent your circle of friends, and you can easily end up an introvert to the extreme.

What about working on campus? Things like a job on campus were great ways for me to meet and interact with a lot of new people that even if you don't really become best of friends, are nice to have as familiar faces. Classes can often be sit, listen, get up and leave. Working for different campus organizations or departments are much more interactive and actually make you meet your classmates instead of just sitting next to them.

 

Okay, I just noticed that you said you don't have time for a job. Because you're carrying a big course load? You say you are going to graduate next year, but you're only 19.....carrying a big course load and trying to rush a 4 year degree might be the problem here.

And living alone? When your lease is up, have you considered trying to find someplace with roommates? When I moved off campus, I moved into a house with three other people I had never met before. I know it was a huge risk, but it couldn't have turned out any better in reality. I'm by nature very introverted myself, and it's nice having people around to talk to and interact with even if we aren't best friends. I don't spend a lot of time just chilling with my roommates, but I don't really need to.....Moving into an apartment with other people (even strangers) might be a risk worth taking.

 

I just came across this and thought it might be interesting to the OP:

I too went to school for art and too smoked a pack a day. Smoking can pass the time, but it also can cause you to not do the things you probably should be doing to pass the time, like surfing or something physical. I know it's not as easy as just saying okay I'm not going to smoke anymore, but just try cutting back a bit and finding another way of passing the time. I know I know, it's all artsy and stuff to be a smoker. Eh, it's not, and it's terrible for the social scene now-a-days. I hear those Cali girls are all about the good health; looking good but just as importantly feeling good.

Another thing is just think of this as a time in your life that you have all the oportunity to look introspectively at yourself and what you're about. You might as well since you don't have much other simulii around. Start reading books that you might have thought about reading once but passed up, watch some bizzaro movies like Eraser Head or Plan 9 from Outer Space, start filming things that you might have always had thought about filming in the back of your mind but thought eh I'm too lazy to get up and do that right now, I'd rather just smoke this butt. Put the butts down, pick up the camera and start doing some weird crazy shit. I don't know, just some ideas since it's not like you can just pack up and move back home.

 

You definitely should get into surfing! Ventura county has some sick spots: santa clara rivermouth, silver strand (kinda localized), or head up the coast to rincon, el capitan, or jalamas.

dude you're only a short drive from s.b. why don't you hit up isla vista or downtown s.b.? tons of hotties and super fun. i'm sure the central coast betties will be on your schlong like donkey kong

 

Yeah man, if your in Ventura, get out to SB, and if you can't make friends there, well, dunno what to say....

 

*Update*
Well I've been keeping myself busy with class and the documentary I'm working on. Actually on Saturday morning, a bunch of church groups came out to help the homeless by handing out clothes/food etc. I had woken up maybe an hour or so before and came out of the tent to see what all the commotion was.

I was shooting some stills and I met this really cute girl (20, 5'6ish, blonde, kinda petite, green eyes) who was out as a chaperone for her group. I had seen her earlier and we smiled at each other, and when she caught up with me we started talking about advertising/film which is what we're both apparently in school for. We hit it off and I ended up talking with her for like an hour, she gave me her number and next time I'm in the area and if she's not working we'll go out. She's kind of shy but it's cute, we'll see where that goes. She comes to where I live sometimes too for camping/beach stuff.

And there's this other girl from class I'm kind of working on, I just need to get her away from her friends. They're like a fuckin wolf pack.



I think the main reason I made up this thread is because of the girl I can never have. She's really amazing, we really like each other and are like best friends. I think about her all the time but long distance relationships never work. There's another girl I've known for a while, in sort of the same thing. She's probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, she's got a great personality and she is really into me. I went to go visit her last summer, I spent some time with her and we ended up messing around. I still really have feelings for her, we were more intimate and close then any of my old gf's ever were. LDR yet again though... People ask all the time if they can be in love with two people, thats how I feel about the two of them. Stupid I know.

The whole situation gets me down if I dwell on it, but I've been working on getting over them so I can find some women I can actually see. It's been better lately though.



And my ex is a fucking crazy dirty cumdumpster whore.

It feels good to get that off my chest