Intelligence
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 88,888
Likes: 11,846
From: Waffles, BU
On a serious note, If your mate compliments you on an emotional / spiritual level, laughs with you and at you, is your best friend and loves you unconditionally.. getting all hot and bothered about discussing issues in the world that you have no impact or influence on is asinine.
In my opinion, share your thoughts whether they agree or understand. But remember.. no one gives a shit what you think, just be fortunate you have someone who is willing to listen.
I have friends who are brilliant and I have friends who are dumb as a bag of rocks (think: you guys). It doesn't keep us from being good friends. If it's your mate, it shouldn't matter either.
In my opinion, share your thoughts whether they agree or understand. But remember.. no one gives a shit what you think, just be fortunate you have someone who is willing to listen.
I have friends who are brilliant and I have friends who are dumb as a bag of rocks (think: you guys). It doesn't keep us from being good friends. If it's your mate, it shouldn't matter either.
Needs more Lemon Pledge
Joined: Mar 2005
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From: Phoenix, AZ
Thanks guys, I don’t want to make this seem like an ever present issue or one that is catastrophic, but it seems to sit a little below the surface and rears itself from time to time…
1StGenCL – totally agree the age thing has something to do with it. I try to, and she is receptive to doing stuff that ends up becoming an exploration, be it a hike, a museum, etc.. I like the paper idea, we actually watch the national news together most nights, but she tends to tune out quickly and I don’t think she sees beyond the layer that is being reported on. I try to show her how curious I am about stuff, make a point of me learning about something a “us” activity. Hopefully she will catch on more and more.
1Louder – You are correct, I do not want to further the “one of us is not good enough for the other” mentality. She mentions that sometimes. I love the idea of meeting with others on my own, may need to make that happen. I would love to find a way for her to meet friends who are intellectually challenging to her as well. Funny thing is, she has a job where she really needs to know about current events, but often defers questions to others rather than getting deep into an issue and understanding it well enough to converse about it. Give her talking points and she can regurgitate them, but has difficulty taking them to a further logical discussion, extrapolating ideas and consequences, etc…
mdkxtreme – I certainly understand and am not going to try to change her in a month or two. You have slowly met your challenges (and will continue to I am sure) for a lifetime, and I think I am in that same boat. I have always been a “figure it out myself” person and have a hard time when I encounter a “try twice and give up or wait for someone to do it for me” person. Unfortunately, she was allowed to be that way for her entire life and I think it will take small, slow course corrections over a long time to change that even a little without causing too much friction.
Will Y. – We do not have similar interests, although we are developing them, and she is more open to trying things like mountain biking, hiking, etc than I ever imagined. We have a great time together, canhave conversations, etc. I just feel like she has no desire to intellectually improve herself, and I don’t go a day without learning something new or figuring something out… It’s who I am.
No I will not post
pics. They are real, they are big, and they are nice.
1StGenCL – totally agree the age thing has something to do with it. I try to, and she is receptive to doing stuff that ends up becoming an exploration, be it a hike, a museum, etc.. I like the paper idea, we actually watch the national news together most nights, but she tends to tune out quickly and I don’t think she sees beyond the layer that is being reported on. I try to show her how curious I am about stuff, make a point of me learning about something a “us” activity. Hopefully she will catch on more and more.
1Louder – You are correct, I do not want to further the “one of us is not good enough for the other” mentality. She mentions that sometimes. I love the idea of meeting with others on my own, may need to make that happen. I would love to find a way for her to meet friends who are intellectually challenging to her as well. Funny thing is, she has a job where she really needs to know about current events, but often defers questions to others rather than getting deep into an issue and understanding it well enough to converse about it. Give her talking points and she can regurgitate them, but has difficulty taking them to a further logical discussion, extrapolating ideas and consequences, etc…
mdkxtreme – I certainly understand and am not going to try to change her in a month or two. You have slowly met your challenges (and will continue to I am sure) for a lifetime, and I think I am in that same boat. I have always been a “figure it out myself” person and have a hard time when I encounter a “try twice and give up or wait for someone to do it for me” person. Unfortunately, she was allowed to be that way for her entire life and I think it will take small, slow course corrections over a long time to change that even a little without causing too much friction.
Will Y. – We do not have similar interests, although we are developing them, and she is more open to trying things like mountain biking, hiking, etc than I ever imagined. We have a great time together, canhave conversations, etc. I just feel like she has no desire to intellectually improve herself, and I don’t go a day without learning something new or figuring something out… It’s who I am.
No I will not post
pics. They are real, they are big, and they are nice.
Senior Moderator
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 31,897
Likes: 7,251
From: Austin, TX
What Majofo said. I rarely get challenged mentally outside of work. My wife has helped me to appreciate the little things in life that academics can sometimes take for granted. Your other half should balance you, not mirror you.
Joined: Jan 2005
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From: ShitsBurgh
Needs more Lemon Pledge
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 52,768
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From: Phoenix, AZ
Safety Car
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 4,442
Likes: 214
There needs to be a base level of intelligence. Me personally, it's a deal breaker if she has the spelling skills of a 2nd grader. Even if it's a drunk text at 2 AM, there's no excuse for "Lets go to a restrant tomarrow and buy alchohol n laiter you can fuck my pussey"
Sanest Florida Man
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 45,966
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From: Florida
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/d...mgopdkppkifgno
Don't have to worry about that or the invalid security token issue anymore
or if you're lame and still using FF
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/fir...form-recovery/
You're welcome!
Senior Moderator
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 31,897
Likes: 7,251
From: Austin, TX
Psst... for next time.
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/d...mgopdkppkifgno
Don't have to worry about that or the invalid security token issue anymore
or if you're lame and still using FF
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/fir...form-recovery/
You're welcome!
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/d...mgopdkppkifgno
Don't have to worry about that or the invalid security token issue anymore
or if you're lame and still using FF
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/fir...form-recovery/
You're welcome!
Intermediate
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 34
Likes: 17
From: Overland Park, KS
iLost...
But seriously, I think intelligence is important, but as others have said, I think it comes down more to if she is able to express herself, and if she has some level of "street smarts." Being as young as I am, most chicks (and guys for that matter) just want to get blackout wasted every weekend. If the only conversation you can have with me when you're sober is how much you want to get drunk, and when you're drunk how much you wish you were sober and high, it ain't gonna work dear. I'm not saying she's got to have a PhD, but know how to handle yourself in the world and in public.
But seriously, I think intelligence is important, but as others have said, I think it comes down more to if she is able to express herself, and if she has some level of "street smarts." Being as young as I am, most chicks (and guys for that matter) just want to get blackout wasted every weekend. If the only conversation you can have with me when you're sober is how much you want to get drunk, and when you're drunk how much you wish you were sober and high, it ain't gonna work dear. I'm not saying she's got to have a PhD, but know how to handle yourself in the world and in public.
Safety Car
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 4,442
Likes: 214
thats probaly an excuce. not every body has autocorect on there smart phones or divises i would ossume there just bad at speling.
actually I always thought autocorrect was only useful at replacing properly spelled words with completely different words that make no sense.
actually I always thought autocorrect was only useful at replacing properly spelled words with completely different words that make no sense.
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 88,888
Likes: 11,846
From: Waffles, BU
A girl I know would often talk about her dating adventures (before settling down). Some guy she met started courting her. She thought everything was cool, until they started texting each other. His spelling was so horrid, she let it go (before autocorrect).. not before putting him on blast with everyone she knew. 
Earth-bound misfit
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 31,704
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I dated (briefly) one of those guys who made up words. Not in one the silly, intentional way, but more in the "I'm really hot, but that's about it" kind of way. Sue me, I was freshly divorced and shallow. It made me grit my teeth. I was worried I might turn into that bitch who corrects people out loud if I stayed around much longer. I couldn't even sleep with him. I realized I was a snob.
Then I married the next person who used "feigning" correctly in an email.
Then I married the next person who used "feigning" correctly in an email.
Who doesn't? 
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