tonio

How important is it to you? I'm having a bit of a dilema with dating.. having grown up with 3 older sisters who are very smart.. I guess it set a standard for me in what I look for in a woman.

I'm willing to sacrifice on looks (slightly) if I could find a woman that can carry an intelligent conversation, but lately the women I meet seem to be narrow minded.. clubs, reality shows, etc. Is it asking too much to want a woman that is willing to pick up a book every once in a while? (A book with a non fiction theme to it)

GIBSON6594

It's very important to me. I stopped seeing a girl once I found out she didn't graduate college.

mrsteve

iTrader: (1)

that's a bit extreme IMO.

However, my most recent ex was too fucking stupid to hold any sort of meaningful discussion on any subject other than Grey' Anatomy.

GIBSON6594

Of course its all based on individual ideals. But I took at as not only a lower level of intelligence, but also as an example of her lack of motivation and defeatist personality.

godfather2

intelligence is a key factor in my book

sasha

Go to your local library or bookstore and check out the women

Whiskers

The dummer the better...

michimonster

haha 'dummer'---^

einsatz

I dated a woman a few years back that had a college degree, but I have no idea how she got it. She didn't know basic things a high schooler should know. For instance, she didn't know that only males had prostates. That's basic biology. Her degree was in African American studies and she could talk about all sorts of social issues, but when it came down to science, it's like she dropped out of school in 4th grade. We didn't stay together long.

With that one exception, all of the women I've dated in the past 2-3 years have either been grad students, or had at least one post-grad degree.

darksom1

By "intelligent", do you mean competent? Or is it a matter of them graduating with collegiate accolades? In other words, a woman who has a lot of book smarts, or a good understanding of how to express herself and receive others?

This is a hot topic wth my gal pals. My single most argument about women is lack of intelligence and/or competency in a given situation. A woman who can understand my point, and relay hers. I have dated collegians who could not do that effectively. So college is appreciated, but not required. I may desire intelligence (makes us more of an equal), but I will settle for a good balance of competency and intelligence. Meaning we can have pretty broad conversations, plus she knows how to communicate her thoughts, and she has a firm grasp on how to navigate life and love.

Can you give an example of what you are talking about that you have encountered?

JJ4Short

Feels like me, I don't have an AFA degree but my cousin's husband was a Bio major at UF so whenever something sciencey comes up he acts surprised when I don't know. AP Biology was the last real science class I took and I am happy about that. Although I know what a prostate is and mitochondria are other then that I am lost.

When it comes to a chick she has to be able to talk about normal stuff. Rarely does science or math come up except when they are doing homework. If you can't have a normal conversation about normal shit you gotta go.

tonio

Thats pretty much it right there, I just want the ability to have a conversation about something more than say.. American Idol. I'm a news addict so I realize it would be hard to meet a woman that carries my interest but having the ability to converse about things going on in the world, and being able to learn from each other since I don't know it all... that has been difficult.

I have a friend in her 30's who couldn't understand why I went to canvass for the candidate I support without being paid, she really cannot rationalize how or why the political process matters but will quickly call me about her weekend at some party or question why she cannot find a good man.

arstraub

I think you should care about how smart she is; and graduating shouldn't be a factor. My mother's super smart and she didn't go to college, while one of my friends is an idiot and she graduated. Keep in mind, some people graduate in 4 years, and some go to a 4-year college for 8 years & still graduate, but failed half of their classes the first time around.

My bf doesn't make the best grades, but he sucks at taking tests; he's the smartest guy I've ever met and he's not going to graduate in 4 years. I'm not an idiot, but I'm not very "street smart," I've got the books down. Think of it like I do: if you date someone with the possibility of marrying them later in life, make sure your kids would have a chance of being normal (height, skin color you like - I'm pale as hell, he's dark, so we'd have 'normal' kids, and smarts- he's 1/4 book 3/4 street, I'm all book).


*Don't blow off a girl because of what she first says to you - first thing I said to my bf: 'I want to have sex with your car" hahaha

darksom1

Where do you go to find/meet women? Birds of a feather flock together...

GIBSON6594

do you really think that way?

tonio

That friend I just met at work, I don't do the whole club thing if that is what you're getting at.

darksom1

No implications. Basically I was thinking that if you want to find someone of that caliber, you should go where there may be an abundance of them. Like a political convention, library, open mike or even a coffee shop.

Good luck!

GrandeInter10

How is a lower level of education considered a lower level of intelligence? That's the kind of ignorance we talk about in Logic all day long. Our society is media fed and conditioned to think that someone who graduated from Harvard is smarter than someone who only has a HS diploma. Intelligence is one thing, but what you refer to as intelligence in terms of "she didn't graduate college" is talking about knowledge. There's people out there who are much smarter than most of the guys on this forum and I know there's some intelligent guys on here. Knowledge ("education") isn't intelligence...

Sorry for the rant. But to the OP, I feel ya. I'm sick of bitches yapping about blazing and "Oh my god on friday i got so wasted." Not looking for the love of my life but damn...are girls getting dumber or are the smarter ones hiding?

tonio

I truly appreciate it, yeah I've been getting more involved in the community (not only for those reasons) and hopefully things will turn around.

GrandeInter10

darksom1

That was very well stated. Very well indeed!

arstraub

Initially no, but over time while we are dating, I do think about kids and what they'd be like. It's one of those things; I've always been made fun of for being so pale, why would I want that for my kid? I wouldn't, and it just so happens that the guy I'm interested in has dark skin, so that's perfect! I don't use that as criteria to find someone to be attracted to, that just happens or doesn't. I'm just saying it's nice when things seem to fall into place that way.

darksom1

Hahaha...I see you stacking the odds in your favor. I hope you get the luck of the draw. You know how those things can go in the gene pool. I don't know a lot about genetics to comment one way or the other, but when my ex and I would talk about it, I always told her that my daughter got her intelligence from me and my side of the family. As for her looks, we split it!

GIBSON6594

Because she was an idiot

arstraub

Nothing can be perfect as far as genes are concerned. I'd love for my kids to have my strawberry hair and blue eyes, but if I marry my bf and we have kids, he has black hair and brown eyes. I'm full of recessive traits while he's full of dominant, so they may be white kids with black hair and brown eyes - nothing I can do about it. I'm not looking for perfection, just a fair shot haha

GIBSON6594

You do realize that you're thinking doesn't really work that along those lines. You can both be midgets, and your kid could be 6'10''

arstraub

Of course I realize that; I might not even be able to have kids when that time rolls around, I was just stating the ideal situation.

eclipse23

I simply can't date a girl without ambition to achieve more intellectually & financially. I work hard at what I do, constantly read/learn my trade better and better. I guess I feel that in a relationship that should be reciprocal.

SakiGT

Common sense and drive is important to me.

Education is important, but it doesnt weigh too heavily. It just so happens the guys that have gone to college have also been mentally quicker than the ones I know that havent. As a general rule, of course. I wouldnt say you can just someone based on their degree.

Shalooby

I think it's imperative that you choose someone who is intellectually compatible with you. I'm not looking for someone who is like me, who shares the same interests as me. That would be kind of boring. I mean, I already know me, right? I want someone who shares the same type of activity, be it sports, reading, theater, etc. but not necessarily the same ones I do. I want to be able to learn from her and for her to be able to learn from me. That way we get the best of what we both have to offer to each other.
There is no rule that says I have to like what she does. If I don't, no big deal. I think it's important to have separate interests and if I choose not to participate I certainly won't try and discourage hers.
Book smarts are one thing. Life experience is something completely different. I have coping mechanisms and skills that cannot be taught, but were acquired from simply living through the experiences that they evolved from.

Will Y.

x 2.
College degrees do not define intelligence or adaptability. I value common sense over "education." My wife does not have a degree (did not complete college), but has common sense. She doesn't read books, but fortunately reads the newspaper as well as tabloids (US Weekly?! ) and can carry on an intelligent conversation (even when I don't want her to ).

Shalooby

Keep in mind though that intelligence is only part of the equation that makes a good relationship. Type of personality is a substantial factor to consider as well.

It would do me no good to attempt a relationship with someone who is not a outgoing, adventurous, spontaneous, see the humor in everything and live life to the fullest kind of person. Life isn't planned, it's experienced, and we get to choose them.

CUNextTuesday

Agreed.. Educated =/= Intelligent

What the fuck? If you're all book smart, wtf books you reading?

savage

I like girls with a balance of book smarts and street smarts...

savage

i think hiding...

but I completely agree with what you said, some kids I know from Harvard are best described as "the dumbest smart people" I know.

Mike 350Z

Smart girls aren't allowed to go out and get wasted?

Gee-TR

I like them smart and ghetto ahahah

Trackruner228

iTrader: (1)

If I can hold a conversation with them thats good enough for me.

Whiskers

I don't even need that much...

wndrlst

How important is intelligence in a mate? Absolutely mandatory.

I'm not an education snob at all. I would date, and have dated, someone without a college degree; but a solid awareness of the world around you, and the ability to navigate that world competently are musts. Pay attention. To world events, human nature, what's happening around you - how these things influence you and how you influence them. I also think a person's intelligence is reflected in their sense of humor....or lack thereof.