I need a drink
07-25-2009, 09:04 PM
#1
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
I need a drink
I wont make this long....I have a hard time opening myself up to women because I always get hurt. You know typical loser type shit. So I met this woman a yr ago. Educated, had a job, her own place, extrovert, fun personality etc. She was into me but I gave her the cold shoulder out of fear. She chased me for a few months before she finally gave up and decided to pursue someone else.
She met another guy at a club. Long story short, they begin a relationship 2months later. It lasted a yr before she broke it off for whatever reason.
Her ex was the persistent type though. He called her, text her etc. Pretty much harrased her until she took him back. Me, not realizing she was actually single for a small period of time, never let her know my true feelings until it was too late. She had already got back with the guy.
We continue to talk though and says it was me she always wanted. So she decided to try and break up with the dude but he wasn't having it. She tried calling it off twice without telling him about me and he wasn't convinced. He kept saying how he needed her in his life and doesn't care if she calls the police, he isn't going away. Eventually, she finally she told him the truth about how she was really interested in someone else. Of course he flipped and starting making threats to about how he'll have his "people" find me and put me underground
So today she finally tells me to go away for good. She tells me over and over how she loves me and wants to be with me but its not worth the trouble. I pleaded with her to reconsider. I'm not too concerned about my own safety. Its her I'm more worried about. This guy has been to prison before. He's not the type to think straight.
She told me she would be happier with me and was excited at the thought of starting a life with me. As soon as he starts making threats she drops me from her life. Im pretty sure she's doing it for my protections seeing as this guy knows my name and where I work. But this is bothering to the point where I cant eat or sleep.....Not sure what to do, if theres anything I can do at this point....Time to "Blame it one the Henney"
She met another guy at a club. Long story short, they begin a relationship 2months later. It lasted a yr before she broke it off for whatever reason.
Her ex was the persistent type though. He called her, text her etc. Pretty much harrased her until she took him back. Me, not realizing she was actually single for a small period of time, never let her know my true feelings until it was too late. She had already got back with the guy.
We continue to talk though and says it was me she always wanted. So she decided to try and break up with the dude but he wasn't having it. She tried calling it off twice without telling him about me and he wasn't convinced. He kept saying how he needed her in his life and doesn't care if she calls the police, he isn't going away. Eventually, she finally she told him the truth about how she was really interested in someone else. Of course he flipped and starting making threats to about how he'll have his "people" find me and put me underground
So today she finally tells me to go away for good. She tells me over and over how she loves me and wants to be with me but its not worth the trouble. I pleaded with her to reconsider. I'm not too concerned about my own safety. Its her I'm more worried about. This guy has been to prison before. He's not the type to think straight.
She told me she would be happier with me and was excited at the thought of starting a life with me. As soon as he starts making threats she drops me from her life. Im pretty sure she's doing it for my protections seeing as this guy knows my name and where I work. But this is bothering to the point where I cant eat or sleep.....Not sure what to do, if theres anything I can do at this point....Time to "Blame it one the Henney"
07-25-2009, 09:45 PM
#3
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Sounds like unnecessary drama and baggage. Take time away from this woman. If she can be so easily influenced then it will only cause trouble in the future.
If you were unwilling to open up at the time, then you were just not ready - for whatever reason - there does not need to be a justification.
I say move on with the knowledge gained from the experience.
If you were unwilling to open up at the time, then you were just not ready - for whatever reason - there does not need to be a justification.
I say move on with the knowledge gained from the experience.
07-25-2009, 09:53 PM
#5
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
I hear what your saying but the drama isn't necessarily her fault either. If I had told how I felt in the beginning she wouldn't have even met this guy. Now he is going to ruin her life. She really is a great person and doesn't deserve this. Im sure she has feelings for him but he is trying to make her mind up for her and the fact that he is making threats is what scares her. I didn't mention it but we work at the same place. Now that her bf knows this, it would definitely be a problem.
I live in Jamaica Queens btw
I live in Jamaica Queens btw
07-25-2009, 10:03 PM
#6
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I hear what your saying but the drama isn't necessarily her fault either. If I had told how I felt in the beginning she wouldn't have even met this guy. Now he is going to ruin her life. She really is a great person and doesn't deserve this. Im sure she has feelings for him but he is trying to make her mind up for her and the fact that he is making threats is what scares her. I didn't mention it but we work at the same place. Now that her bf knows this, it would definitely be a problem.
I live in Jamaica Queens btw
I live in Jamaica Queens btw
At this point - there's nothing you can really do - she knows how you feel, she has expressed her feelings - however she is still not ready to let go of her boyfriend.
Now, before any relationship is involved your already conflicting work/ and relationship drama. All it takes is one angry BF to show up to have you lose your job.
She may not deserve it - but she's allowing it .....
07-25-2009, 10:22 PM
#7
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
Yea your right, she is allowing it. For many reasons. We both don't want to lose our jobs. Your definitely right about that but trust me, she is definitely wiling to let him go. She did it already, twice. He keeps coming back, crying, begging, and now threatening. Yes I agree she should put her foot down and that's why I created this thread but I know where she would rather be and thats with me.
She even admitted that when he came over, they both started crying. Only difference, she was crying because she knew she'd lose me in this process. She may not be handling it in the best way but she is 'sort of' trapped in this situation right now. She knows he's nuts.
Shes not perfect, but I cant expect you to understand her like I do. She wants to leave but is taking what she believes is the easy route. She wants to keep him calm and not escalate any drama between the 3 of us.
Its sad, I read in the paper almost everyday about how a woman has a restraining order on her ex bf but he still finds her and shoots her dead at her job, home etc. Im terrified of this happening to her. Being a GOD fearing man, all I can do is pray...
She even admitted that when he came over, they both started crying. Only difference, she was crying because she knew she'd lose me in this process. She may not be handling it in the best way but she is 'sort of' trapped in this situation right now. She knows he's nuts.
Shes not perfect, but I cant expect you to understand her like I do. She wants to leave but is taking what she believes is the easy route. She wants to keep him calm and not escalate any drama between the 3 of us.
Its sad, I read in the paper almost everyday about how a woman has a restraining order on her ex bf but he still finds her and shoots her dead at her job, home etc. Im terrified of this happening to her. Being a GOD fearing man, all I can do is pray...
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07-25-2009, 10:28 PM
#8
I wont make this long....I have a hard time opening myself up to women because I always get hurt. You know typical loser type shit. So I met this woman a yr ago. Educated, had a job, her own place, extrovert, fun personality etc. She was into me but I gave her the cold shoulder out of fear. She chased me for a few months before she finally gave up and decided to pursue someone else.
She met another guy at a club. Long story short, they begin a relationship 2months later. It lasted a yr before she broke it off for whatever reason.
Her ex was the persistent type though. He called her, text her etc. Pretty much harrased her until she took him back. Me, not realizing she was actually single for a small period of time, never let her know my true feelings until it was too late. She had already got back with the guy.
We continue to talk though and says it was me she always wanted. So she decided to try and break up with the dude but he wasn't having it. She tried calling it off twice without telling him about me and he wasn't convinced. He kept saying how he needed her in his life and doesn't care if she calls the police, he isn't going away. Eventually, she finally she told him the truth about how she was really interested in someone else. Of course he flipped and starting making threats to about how he'll have his "people" find me and put me underground
So today she finally tells me to go away for good. She tells me over and over how she loves me and wants to be with me but its not worth the trouble. I pleaded with her to reconsider. I'm not too concerned about my own safety. Its her I'm more worried about. This guy has been to prison before. He's not the type to think straight.
She told me she would be happier with me and was excited at the thought of starting a life with me. As soon as he starts making threats she drops me from her life. Im pretty sure she's doing it for my protections seeing as this guy knows my name and where I work. But this is bothering to the point where I cant eat or sleep.....Not sure what to do, if theres anything I can do at this point....Time to "Blame it one the Henney"
She met another guy at a club. Long story short, they begin a relationship 2months later. It lasted a yr before she broke it off for whatever reason.
Her ex was the persistent type though. He called her, text her etc. Pretty much harrased her until she took him back. Me, not realizing she was actually single for a small period of time, never let her know my true feelings until it was too late. She had already got back with the guy.
We continue to talk though and says it was me she always wanted. So she decided to try and break up with the dude but he wasn't having it. She tried calling it off twice without telling him about me and he wasn't convinced. He kept saying how he needed her in his life and doesn't care if she calls the police, he isn't going away. Eventually, she finally she told him the truth about how she was really interested in someone else. Of course he flipped and starting making threats to about how he'll have his "people" find me and put me underground
So today she finally tells me to go away for good. She tells me over and over how she loves me and wants to be with me but its not worth the trouble. I pleaded with her to reconsider. I'm not too concerned about my own safety. Its her I'm more worried about. This guy has been to prison before. He's not the type to think straight.
She told me she would be happier with me and was excited at the thought of starting a life with me. As soon as he starts making threats she drops me from her life. Im pretty sure she's doing it for my protections seeing as this guy knows my name and where I work. But this is bothering to the point where I cant eat or sleep.....Not sure what to do, if theres anything I can do at this point....Time to "Blame it one the Henney"
But............
You don't need a drink. You need to realize that this woman you are so enamored over isn't worth the time and effort. You claim she to be educated, secure, financially stable, and an extrovert. Judging by her behavior towards you, I wound definitely add selfish to that list.
How can someone claim to want to be with another, but choose to stay with someone who is abusing her. I don't believe for a second she's more concerned with "your" safety. She's more concerned with being able have you at arms length, but not quite secure enough to leave her current relationship. If she really wanted to be with you entirely, the two of you could work it out together how to deal with her past relationship.
Move on, be thankful for the good memories, but be prepared to open up to someone else. You WILL meet someone else. Someone who appreciates you and will care for you, and only you.
And incidentally, the person you refer to above will contact you again. And will undoubtedly tell you what you want to hear. What you decide to do is up to you. Most others would walk away. And rightly so.
Terry
07-25-2009, 10:41 PM
#9
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
You know what, dont answer that.
For what its worth, she really believes he would make good on his promise to come after me. I want to walk away, and if the situation were a little more stable it would be ALOT easier to. I know I cant fix everyones problems but this is one im having trouble getting over. Im 100% positive he cannot be trusted. He sounds like the mentally unstable type. I'd really kick myself if she ended up in tomorrows paper.
....Thanks for the feedback guys...getting this off my chest is helping a little...
07-25-2009, 10:44 PM
#10
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
Oh and for the record I've never seen any evidence of past abuse. I asked her about it (whether you want to believe is up to you) and she said he's never laid a hand on her. Its just after this situation, Im not sure he'll be able to restrain himself...
07-26-2009, 07:16 AM
#12
Team Owner
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Christ. I hate fucking drama.
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
- People that refer to themselves as losers need to work on their self esteem.
- When your first 3 attributes of a woman is "Educated, had a job, her own place," then maybe you are targeting the wrong women.
- Women that stay with a guy that says he isn't going away even if she calls the cops are BAD NEWS. No better way to put it. You're in NYC....there are single women all over the place.
07-26-2009, 09:40 AM
#13
dumber than a box of hair
Whether he physically abused her is not the point. Acting the way he has when she tried to leave him, and his threats toward you, all constitute emotional abuse, and that's just as destructive and dangerous. Whether or not she can extricate herself from that situation is entirely up to her. I know quite well that an order of protection won't necessarily keep him away, but if she really wants to leave this guy, she'll get one. If she does end up growing a spine and getting a protection order, you should get one too.
07-26-2009, 09:46 AM
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Christ. I hate fucking drama.
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
Good luck. Start going into Manhattan and leave the Queens women alone.
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
Good luck. Start going into Manhattan and leave the Queens women alone.
07-26-2009, 09:48 AM
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Funny, a friend of mine said the same thing. I dont take any offense to your post. The past is the past. We both made our mistakes but if you put yourself in her shoes for a sec, would you really risk your job, home, someone you care about to pursue another guy?
You know what, dont answer that. For what its worth, she really believes he would make good on his promise to come after me.
I want to walk away, and if the situation were a little more stable it would be ALOT easier to. I know I cant fix everyones problems but this is one im having trouble getting over. Im 100% positive he cannot be trusted. He sounds like the mentally unstable type. I'd really kick myself if she ended up in tomorrows paper.
....Thanks for the feedback guys...getting this off my chest is helping a little...
You know what, dont answer that.
For what its worth, she really believes he would make good on his promise to come after me. I want to walk away, and if the situation were a little more stable it would be ALOT easier to. I know I cant fix everyones problems but this is one im having trouble getting over. Im 100% positive he cannot be trusted. He sounds like the mentally unstable type. I'd really kick myself if she ended up in tomorrows paper.
....Thanks for the feedback guys...getting this off my chest is helping a little...
your giving her to much credit. I agree with Terry on this.
Stop making excuses for her. If she loved you, she would be with you. The fact that she's going to live a miserable life to "protect you" from a standard quick-tempered Ex seems extremely childish.
07-26-2009, 10:07 AM
#16
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Christ. I hate fucking drama.
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
- People that refer to themselves as losers need to work on their self esteem.
- When your first 3 attributes of a woman is "Educated, had a job, her own place," then maybe you are targeting the wrong women.
- Women that stay with a guy that says he isn't going away even if she calls the cops are BAD NEWS. No better way to put it. You're in NYC....there are single women all over the place.
07-27-2009, 08:00 PM
#19
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
Christ. I hate fucking drama.
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
Agreed, but Im sure doesnt really want to stay. She's thinking of her options while keeping him calm...
Good luck. Start going into Manhattan and leave the Queens women alone.
It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong type of women. She has issues and if she is telling you to move on, then maybe you should move on.
Also, I read some stuff in your original post that you may want to address....
- People that refer to themselves as losers need to work on their self esteem.
My self esteem may not be great but it has come a long way, trust me on that. I wasnt neccesarily refering to myself as a "loser" per se. I just know that my attitude about dating used to be really bad... - When your first 3 attributes of a woman is "Educated, had a job, her own place," then maybe you are targeting the wrong women.
Actually those werent "targets." More like pluses. The physical attraction was there and as we got to know each other we realized we really liked each other... - Women that stay with a guy that says he isn't going away even if she calls the cops are BAD NEWS. No better way to put it. You're in NYC....there are single women all over the place.
Agreed, but Im sure doesnt really want to stay. She's thinking of her options while keeping him calm...
Good luck. Start going into Manhattan and leave the Queens women alone.
Im in Manhattan every weekend and she is not from Queens. She came to this country alone when she was 18 and has been on her own ever since...
Whether he physically abused her is not the point. Acting the way he has when she tried to leave him, and his threats toward you, all constitute emotional abuse, and that's just as destructive and dangerous. Whether or not she can extricate herself from that situation is entirely up to her. I know quite well that an order of protection won't necessarily keep him away, but if she really wants to leave this guy, she'll get one. If she does end up growing a spine and getting a protection order, you should get one too.
100% agree
lol
07-28-2009, 11:30 AM
#20
I'm Down Right Fierce!
Hmm. So you gave her the cold shoulder, essentially pushed her onto this crazy guy she's with now, and now you want her to leave the crazy guy?
07-28-2009, 01:11 PM
#21
You should run as fast as you can away from this woman. Seriously.
It sounds like there is one thing she wants in her life more than anything else and that's drama. How do you know that what she's telling you about this other guy is even true? Hell, she could be telling him something very similar about YOU! Just so she can have him as ramped up as she has you. For all you know, she's got him believing that you're some persistent co-worker that won't leave her alone. But not to do anything about it, yet, because he's fairly harmless and meek. That may be why "he wants to send his people after you".
Sounds unbelievable? It's not. There are some pretty incredible whack jobs out there man. You may be under the spell of one of them now. Get away. Get far away.
It sounds like there is one thing she wants in her life more than anything else and that's drama. How do you know that what she's telling you about this other guy is even true? Hell, she could be telling him something very similar about YOU! Just so she can have him as ramped up as she has you. For all you know, she's got him believing that you're some persistent co-worker that won't leave her alone. But not to do anything about it, yet, because he's fairly harmless and meek. That may be why "he wants to send his people after you".
Sounds unbelievable? It's not. There are some pretty incredible whack jobs out there man. You may be under the spell of one of them now. Get away. Get far away.
07-28-2009, 02:00 PM
#22
You should run as fast as you can away from this woman. Seriously.
It sounds like there is one thing she wants in her life more than anything else and that's drama. How do you know that what she's telling you about this other guy is even true? Hell, she could be telling him something very similar about YOU! Just so she can have him as ramped up as she has you. For all you know, she's got him believing that you're some persistent co-worker that won't leave her alone. But not to do anything about it, yet, because he's fairly harmless and meek. That may be why "he wants to send his people after you".
Sounds unbelievable? It's not. There are some pretty incredible whack jobs out there man. You may be under the spell of one of them now. Get away. Get far away.
It sounds like there is one thing she wants in her life more than anything else and that's drama. How do you know that what she's telling you about this other guy is even true? Hell, she could be telling him something very similar about YOU! Just so she can have him as ramped up as she has you. For all you know, she's got him believing that you're some persistent co-worker that won't leave her alone. But not to do anything about it, yet, because he's fairly harmless and meek. That may be why "he wants to send his people after you".
Sounds unbelievable? It's not. There are some pretty incredible whack jobs out there man. You may be under the spell of one of them now. Get away. Get far away.
It was nothing but a game for her. Not saying this is what's going on with the OP, but if you think it sounds unbelievable it's not.
07-28-2009, 11:34 PM
#24
Burning Brakes
Thread Starter
You should run as fast as you can away from this woman. Seriously.
It sounds like there is one thing she wants in her life more than anything else and that's drama. How do you know that what she's telling you about this other guy is even true? Hell, she could be telling him something very similar about YOU! Just so she can have him as ramped up as she has you. For all you know, she's got him believing that you're some persistent co-worker that won't leave her alone. But not to do anything about it, yet, because he's fairly harmless and meek. That may be why "he wants to send his people after you".
Sounds unbelievable? It's not. There are some pretty incredible whack jobs out there man. You may be under the spell of one of them now. Get away. Get far away.
It sounds like there is one thing she wants in her life more than anything else and that's drama. How do you know that what she's telling you about this other guy is even true? Hell, she could be telling him something very similar about YOU! Just so she can have him as ramped up as she has you. For all you know, she's got him believing that you're some persistent co-worker that won't leave her alone. But not to do anything about it, yet, because he's fairly harmless and meek. That may be why "he wants to send his people after you".
Sounds unbelievable? It's not. There are some pretty incredible whack jobs out there man. You may be under the spell of one of them now. Get away. Get far away.
This is not a war over a woman. I really have no direct beef with this dude and I dont intend to encounter him at all. If he comes looking for me thats another story....This is about her safety. No matter how crazy most of you think she is I am still concerned. Sorry I cant help that at the moment but I do care about her well being. Im not pleading for a way for us to be together. Im mad that if this is the dangerous situation I feel it is, then theres nothing I can do about it.
07-29-2009, 08:59 AM
#25
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Yes
You would have a valid point BUT Ive seen some of the texts he's sent her. Even IF she is lying to both of us (Which im not ruling out completely, anything is possible) he's still a psychopath....
This is not a war over a woman. I really have no direct beef with this dude and I dont intend to encounter him at all. If he comes looking for me thats another story....This is about her safety. No matter how crazy most of you think she is I am still concerned. Sorry I cant help that at the moment but I do care about her well being. Im not pleading for a way for us to be together. Im mad that if this is the dangerous situation I feel it is, then theres nothing I can do about it.
You would have a valid point BUT Ive seen some of the texts he's sent her. Even IF she is lying to both of us (Which im not ruling out completely, anything is possible) he's still a psychopath....
This is not a war over a woman. I really have no direct beef with this dude and I dont intend to encounter him at all. If he comes looking for me thats another story....This is about her safety. No matter how crazy most of you think she is I am still concerned. Sorry I cant help that at the moment but I do care about her well being. Im not pleading for a way for us to be together. Im mad that if this is the dangerous situation I feel it is, then theres nothing I can do about it.
I've seen this so many times before - even with the showing of the text messages - not everything is what it seems. I'm just not getting a good feeling about this chick.
If she is really worried - have her go to the police. I bet you she still loves him enough not to do that.
07-29-2009, 12:48 PM
#27
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
run muthafkr run...
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