Much like in "Sideways", I drank and dailed. I called up my ex-girlfriend, who I broke up with back in January. Up until recently, I had been doing well. But I had thought about calling her for about the last couple of weeks. Friday night, I finally did it.

I wasn't all that drank, I was "feeling good". But I was relaxed enough to call her. I made a complete ass of myself. She didn't recognize my voice (I had blocked out my number), and she asked if there was any specific reason why I called her. Based out her tone and line of questioning, she did not look like hearing from me. It seemed like she wasn't giving me the time of day.

In order to save a bit of face, what do you think I did? I bring up the letter I wrote to her a few months ago, and how she responded to it. I referred to her response, in which she stated she had forgiven me. Well, she really hadn't, because she alluded in our phone conversation that she didn't want to have anything to do with me.

It was all downhill from there, as we got confrontational with each other. Ultimately, she hung up on me. All the hurt and heartache that I had been feeling came rushing back. Why the fuck did I do this to myself? How do I get over this quick?

 

Convince yourself that it never happened.

 

So you broke up with her but just decided to give her a friendly call? How or on what terms did you guys break up? I hope you get over this quickly, its been a while and unless you want her back there is no need to keep putting yourself through this kind of thing. That is, unless of course it was a 10 year relationship, sometimes if you're with someone a long time it takes a while to forget about it. Good luck

 

I have addressed the nature of our breakup in a previous thread (it was entitled "Getting Over an 18-Month Relationship"). She actually broke up with me. It was not amicable, but acrimonious. There were many things said that perhaps shouldn't have been said. However, I am a person that will ultimately forgive, and the letter that I wrote her sometime ago was conciliatory in nature. Her response to the letter, in letter form, was far from conciliatory. She pretty much implied, "I wish you the best, but I don't want to have anything to do with you." I felt like I had extended an olive branch, only to have it thrown back in my face.

The call Friday evening was an extension of another olive branch, and it was thrown back in my face again. I don't really understand why she has so much anger and hostility toward me. I recall, in her letter, that she said that she had forgiven me. Apparently, she has not forgiven me for anything.

 

when you drink, leave the phone with someone else...don't do this anymore....

 

I'g go plant your olive tree somewhere else. Sounds like the ground in that relationship is pretty completely leached with acid, and noth'n ain't gonna grow there. She's said no.

We're logical beasts, and when there is a breakup, there is always a deisre to figure out the rational reasons why (he doesn't like blue, she doesn't like watching Sylvester Stallone movies, whatever). and no one likes being rejected, it is a fundamentally unpleasant feeling at best. But, in truth, the only reason for a breakup is if one partner doesn't want to play any more, and ultimately, their thinking doesn't have to be logical, or consistent, and you don't have to agree with her logic or even her feelings. Frankly, I suspect her "take" on the relationship is very different than yours, and for her, your "forgiveness" may be irrelevant, or a non-sequiter. But you do have to respect her feelings, however much you may disagree with them.

I'd cut my losses, scratch her number out of your black book, kill it from automatic dial, and move on. Six months from now, after the pain of rejection has healed a bit, you can go and do an internal post-mortem, and maybe learn about yourself and her. Right now, you are still so pissed at her for breaking up with you that you can't see straight. Talking with her is only going to piss both of you off, and unless you enjoy being a masochist, I'd drop it. Next time you're in a reflective mood (or more accurately, a combative one) and want to call her, call a good friend and talk about the impulse, work out exactly why you want to do this with her. My guess is you are still really, really pissed at her dumping you. Talking with her ain't going to fix that, talking with friends will at least get you sympathy.

 

They're ex's for a reason bro, you were relaxed and missing her. You were trying to go back to what you know. Next time, have a few drinks, and try talking to a girl in the bar.

 

I think a lot of us have done it in the past. Plus, what's the big deal. She wasn't going to take you back before and she won't now. What changed? You learned a leason and will be less likely to repeat this. So, I see it as being a good thing.....you got it out of your system. Next time, just drink enough so you pass out before you call anyone.

 

Were you still drunk when you wrote this?

 

what's dailed?

 

bailed... if you are dyslexic

 

I think he meant dialed. I assume he was drunk while typing the initial post .

 

ahhhhh drunk dialing

 

guys, i wasn't drunk when i wrote my initial post. it was just a small typo. i also wasn't that drunk when i made the phone call. i was "feeling good". however, i had enough alcohol to have the balls (or stupidity) to call.

 

Since you broke up on bad terms, stay away! You are NOT friends with her, and for whatever reason she doesn't like you. I know it's really hard to let go of it all, but for your own good you have to. Delete her numbers from everywhere they are saved. Rip out pages of booklets that you have her number on, and destroy any references of her. It's the only way. THEN, you go out, and you go talk to another girl who likes you for YOU!

 

Drink some more next time before you call her and you wont even remember how bad she blew you off..

 

I'm still reeling from what I did over the weekend. I was doing really well before the "incident". I guess it just shows that I hadn't let go 100%. Because I was with her for a while, I have had trouble filling the "void" in my life. Granted, I work full-time and go to school, but I have these moments thinking that I'll never get past what has happened.

 

sounds like you're getting a grip on why you did what you did. Continue to fill your time with other tasks, other "stuff". Spend time with friends, try to avoid a lot of lonely down time. Next time you have the impulse to call her, write her instead, then don't mail the letter..............

 

Keep busy man. Get a hobby, play some sports, hang out with friends, sleep with her best friend. Let us know if you do the last one.

 

Next time you drink and call her....have another woman on your lap!

 

haha I agree with Nicky.. screw her best friend, but don't talk to her!

 

Meh, just delete the number out of your cell.


Wonder if im the only one who doesnt remember numbers. Im soo dependant on my phone

 

I don't know most of my good friend's numbers thanks to speed dial!

 

I suck with numbers too:
Officer "Do you know how fast you were going", Andy "I don't remember, but did you just meow", Officer "Did you just call me fat", Andy, "Are you from Chicago?"
Officer, ":handcuffs:"