I was reading about how some guy's wife became a quadriplegic after a car accident years ago, and then the husband and his wife together became active in a foundation for paralysis and they are still together now. For some reason the fat wife thread came to me and I remembered how people said they wouldn't be able to deal with having a fat wife.

What if your significant other, who lets say you've been married to for several years and have known/dated for much longer became paralyzed in an accident? They are still attractive physically and they still have their personality, they're just confined to a wheelchair. Would you inevitably leave them or be there to support them?

 

You have to be really shallow to ditch your wife because she's fat. I doubt most of the people here would stick with a wife thats disabled

 

I meant every word I said during the exchange of wedding vows. The words were short and simple, but they embodied such a big promise of commitment that I got really overwhelmed after the first line and I started crying...

... which reminds me, we'll be celebrating our first year of marriage in about 3 weeks! So far, so good!

 

congrats, Sasha!

 

I am not sure anyone can really answer a question like this until it happens to them. Most people probably feel like they would do the right thing, until 5 years later and they can't deal with it anymore.

 

<Not married, but absolutely I would be there to support her in the long term. Even if we were not married, but intended to be. Just because someone is confined to a wheelchair doesn't make them any less of an individual. The fat thread you are referring to is a different situation for me, as that is something the individual has the power to correct. Someone involved in a debilitating accident or illness and losing mobility is not.


Terry

 

Tzar has a point, but I think I would be one that supports my wife and family.

I married my wife because I love her. If something like this were to happen, she didn't change. She is still the same woman I married.

 

Man this would be a tough situation to be put into. As much as you love somebody not being able to do normal things together would probably put a strain on the relationship sooner or later. This is a good morale question but at the same time its really hard to say unless you are put into that situation.

 

id be more inclined to leave someone because they were fat rather than paralyzed. You can change being fat and if you dont want to change for me then you must not love me that much and we don't need to be together. You cant help being disabled.

 

I'm with Terry on this one. If it was some sort of uncontrollable accident, I would stay with her. If she totally let herself go and became a pig, that's a completely different story and I would not accept that. She'd be out.

Hopefully I won't have that problem because I'll be looking for someone who is not lazy and who works out and treats themselves well.

 

Lots of folks here still are loyal to their Acura's long after the transmission failed them... Why not stay loyal to a SO?

Seriously though. I would like to think I would continue to provide that support. A relationship based on love and trust breaks down when one of those foundations are broken. Very few relationships have their foundation in a working pair of legs.

 

Edit: Double post

 

I agree with some of the sentiments but hypothetically, I don't think I could stay with them for an extended amount of time; 5 years or more I guess. I guess I am just too much of a horn dog but I'd feel guilty committing infidelity. and there's a point where jacking off would get old jokes aside. As you guys say who knows maybe I'll grow up and my feelings will be different once I actually get married and have kids. Then again, I personally am not someone who really believes in marriage so much as I just see it as a necessity due to how taboo it is to be unmarried and have a child.

I would fully support them but I think at a point it may be time to move on.... I figure this is especially true if you're younger.

That was wrong, but I laughed.... I drove other cars even though my transmission never failed me

 

^^^who's to say you cant have sex with them? I have a buddy in a wheel chair and he injects sumthn in his penis that makes it erect. His girl just does her thing with it LOL And the chick/wife would just lay there or love to give head and get beat in the legs with a bamboo stick like in "Freddy Got Fingered"

 

Yeah the lack of sex would probably drive me crazy.

 

I'd have to be in the situation to make a decision. It's hard to "plan" for something like that.

On a related note, just because they may not be the same person they were when you married them doesn't mean you don't care for them anymore. That means physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Personal case in point: Sorry on the pseudo-hijack.

I pledged solemn vows to my wife a while ago. All that "in sickness and in health" stuff. But now, if I thought I could get away with it......, just kidding. I'm doing my best to make this woman my ex-wife as fast as I possibly can. I just want to rip my head off or pound it repeatedly into a wall until I'm bleeding profusely every time I have to discuss something with her. Do I still care about her? Am I still concerned with her well being? Yes I am.

Maybe that's just human nature though. We as humans, and even other animals, have a basic sense of compassion for others. I mean, some people get sad when they see a squashed squirrel on the side of the road. Me? I see something to grill.

 

^haha man you should start another post so we can get some details daily on this.

 

I think it goes to how you viewed your wedding vows. For me, I stick with her, as she would also stick with me if it were reversed. Not saying it would be an easy life by any means, but I promised her "for better or worse", not "for better or until it becomes too inconvenient."

 

Details? None required. All you need to know is that all women are crazy.

Currently looking for the next ex-wife.

Or were you talking about the squirrel / grilling thing......

 

I've been married 3+ years and couldn't envision not supporting my wife or leaving her if something like that happened...and I know she would do the same for me.

 

+1

 

My dad's boyfriend/partner/whatever has stayed with him through 22 years of debilitation caused by MS. The man (not my dad) is a saint. His disease is so much more complicated than being paraplegic, but otherwise healthy. Seriously, a medal is in order here. I am eternally grateful to him.

I suffered an injury that essentially ended my marriage. I guess it's pretty different from what you asked, though. I wasn't just physically debilitated, and the physical part wasn't permanent. I don't think my personality change alone was enough to cause us to split; but my memory problems, and the change from husband/wife to caregiver/patient were ultimately detrimental. Were there other underlying problems? Sure - no marriage is perfect, but I believe we'd still be married, and happily, today, had my head injury not occurred. C'est la vie. We're both finding our ways - separately - just fine.