Originally Posted by JesusJuice

Well I knew "why your ex is your ex" would catch up to me eventually. So her ex wrote something to her on one of those online college sites and I acted like I didn't care at to one point I didn't but I know deep down she still likes him and the reason they aren't together is because of him. Well I decided to do something I promised myself I wouldn't do and that is check her online college site messages. I know it's fucked up but I needed to know. So she writes him a message saying how flustered he made her and how he still has that effect on her and how she wants to gobble him up like cheesecake. I don't know what to do here since technically I shouldn't know this information. I mean do I confront her and end it or do I leave it alone and see what happens? I dunno feeling like you are number 2 kinda sucks and I am trying to do the straight and narrow thing so I went back to her to see if we could fix it. But right now I am having mixed emotions.

Originally Posted by Lister00169

So I assume it's over - If so, then good job It takes courage to split off from someone who you still care about, but, as you mentioned, it's the long run that matters.

Hug?

Originally Posted by JesusJuice

Everytime I try to help someone they give me lip.

Originally Posted by JesusJuice

lol

Originally Posted by Caliadria

Scott often tries to "help" me with little suggestions, and it drives me up the fucking wall. I'm not three years old, I can clearly see the car that's passing, and I feel that I am a safe distance from said car. If I haven't figured out by now how to avoid speeding vehicles, then I deserve to die anyway.

It sounds to me like she thinks you're nagging; when you shoot down her ideas by suggesting "improvements" to them, it sounds to her like you don't trust her to be smart or mature enough to make her own decisions, and often, her own mistakes. You can't wrap her in cotton batting, and you can't be with her 24-7. What do you think she does when you're not around? Goes prancing about in busy streets? I seriously doubt it.

She's a big girl. I know you're trying to help, I know you have nothing but good intentions, and that is why I deal with it when Scott really starts to piss me off. But you have to look at it from her side, too. She can take care of herself. She has a boyfriend so that she has a companion, not a daddy. If she wanted a daddy, she'd be dating older men. Trust me.

Originally Posted by mfkitson

take out insurance on her and let her walk where she wants?

Originally Posted by s_jack

I completely agree!! I have actually broken up with many guys over this one. I don't need anyone reminding me of anything. I have been an independent adult for quite a while and am completely capable of taking care of myself. I have found that the guys that try to help the most are the ones that don't seem to be able to take care of themselves OR they want a girl that they can take care of OR they have had very dependent ex-girlfriends (ones that depend on the guy not only emotionally but financially as well). Guys take note: we are no longer living in the 50s and not all women want to get an Mrs; therefore, let her take care of herself.

Originally Posted by kurt_bradley

I'm just taking notes here.

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

You brought her to the site??
Do you really want her to see what you're like here???

Originally Posted by kurt_bradley

Yeah. I told her about this place and how it's habit-forming. She already knows about me on here too. Yes, even about Stiffy.

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

And she's still around???!!! Don't let this one go!


Though the gratuitous "I'm sooo in love with this new girl" posts are starting to make more sense now

Originally Posted by kurt_bradley

Yeah. I told her about this place and how it's habit-forming. She already knows about me on here too. Yes, even about Stiffy.

Originally Posted by kurt_bradley

Basically, I was this stupid leghumper that had a continual joke going on in here. I still find it funny that people thought that she and I had a thing going on (which we didn't). It was a little joke.

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

We never thought you had a thing going on, we just thought you were trying really hard to start one
*cough* name change *cough*

Originally Posted by Caliadria

I maintain my previous statement. Scott only nags me about one or two things, too, and it's still frustrating as all hell. Lay off, just don't say anything. If you don't like the way she drives, then you should drive; I rarely EVER drive when I'm with Scott; he just automatically takes the wheel. When you're walking with her, just automatically step to the curbside. If she makes a big deal out of it, say, "fine, okay, get splashed by mud if you want, I tried." Also, if it makes her feel better to call tech support, why not let her? Does it cost money? If it's costing something then I can see the problem, but just because the call centers are overloaded with idiots doesn't mean one more can't call; that's what phone tech support is for. Those people are paid to deal with idiots. Consider it not your problem.

Basically, what I'm saying is that even though you may not think your tone is condescending, if she's insecure about these things (or more importantly, if she's sensitive about them NOW because they've been issues in the past, and especially if these are issues you mention frequently), she will take what you say the wrong way 9 times out of 10.

One major thing women need to learn is that men rarely use verbal nuances; it's very rare for a guy to say one thing and mean another. However, girls often say things they don't mean literally, and they expect everyone to speak in the same way, so if you say, "Hey, don't drive like that," she hears, "I feel very unsafe with you, you're a terrible driver, you suck at life, and I will never stop nagging you about it." What you meant was literally, "Hey, don't drive like that." It took me a LONG time to figure that out; I used to think Scott was just a total asshole, but I finally learned to take what he says with a grain of salt, or take it at face value, whichever way hurts me less.

Cliff notes: Even though you don't think you're talking down to her, she probably thinks you are, so my previous statements still stand.

Originally Posted by ludachrisvt

not even going to read the responses ... DONT BE A FUCKING IDIOT. LEAVE HER ALONE. INCOMPATIBLE PERSONALITIES. Live it, learn it, love it. Just accept it. You are not compatible with this girl. She has a chip on her shoulder. Leave her alone. Stop calling her and go get some strange. Oh btw, she is prolly banging or wants to bang other guys. I think (hope) ...