Dating & Relationships Love sucks. Now you can cry about it…

Embarrassing sex moments.

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Old 07-26-2005, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by dom


What about the chocalate dip?
We're in the process of getting the "chocolate dispenser" as loose as the "cherry-dip dispenser" so it doesn't wreck that soft serve spiral when you go to dip it.
Old 07-26-2005, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Always Dirty
We're in the process of getting the "chocolate dispenser" as loose as the "cherry-dip dispenser" so it doesn't wreck that soft serve spiral when you go to dip it.

I hear Mexican food helps in that regard
Old 07-26-2005, 11:54 AM
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:tryingtothinkofgoodjokefor"butterscotch":
Old 07-26-2005, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by wstevens
:tryingtothinkofgoodjokefor"butterscotch":
I'm saving her bacne (back acne) for a whipped cream reference, but you're SOL on butterscotch methinks.
Old 07-26-2005, 11:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Always Dirty
I'm saving her bacne (back acne) for a whipped cream reference, but you're SOL on butterscotch methinks.



butterscowned.
Old 07-26-2005, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
about the poo smell ... maybe she farted?
OR maybe she Sharted!!!!
Old 07-26-2005, 03:19 PM
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this thread just went down the tubes thanks to you pws ...
Old 07-26-2005, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Always Dirty
I'm saving her bacne (back acne) for a whipped cream reference, but you're SOL on butterscotch methinks.

simply

Old 07-26-2005, 04:35 PM
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Well i have two neither involving me....

First a guy i used to play baseball with told us a story about giving this girl some butt love and all the sudden he got a whiff of some shit (literaly), he said he keep going and finished but when he was done he had poo and blood all over his junx. I believe that was the last time they hooked up.

Another guy from Senior Week in Ocean City MD...

He was from ireland and was hooking up with this real hot chick. Well it was her time of the month and he went down on her and said he thought she was really wet but turns out that wasnt quite the case.
Old 07-26-2005, 05:51 PM
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Originally Posted by BlackTSX
when he was done he had poo and blood all over his junx.
The Neapolitan! (with his own contribution added to the mix)

Originally Posted by BlackTSX
He was from ireland and was hooking up with this real hot chick. Well it was her time of the month and he went down on her and said he thought she was really wet but turns out that wasnt quite the case.
If she knew it was that time and let him go down there anyway she deserves a backhanding.
Old 07-26-2005, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Count Dracura
The Neapolitan! (with his own contribution added to the mix)
Old 07-26-2005, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by BlackTSX
He was from ireland and was hooking up with this real hot chick. Well it was her time of the month and he went down on her and said he thought she was really wet but turns out that wasnt quite the case.
i think i almost threw up
Old 07-26-2005, 11:11 PM
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man you guys ruined this thread
Old 07-26-2005, 11:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Count Dracura
The Neapolitan! (with his own contribution added to the mix)

Old 07-26-2005, 11:41 PM
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heard my girlfriend queef for the first time last night. much louder than i expected, we both started laughing really fuckin hard. that is all.
Old 07-27-2005, 12:58 AM
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this happened to my friend. so he was hooking up with this girl. they get into it and decide to hump. so he sticks it in once and thats it, pulls out and busts all over her thigh. when he told me i couldnt stop laughing
Old 07-27-2005, 01:00 AM
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Originally Posted by NYZGREATST
this happened to my friend. so he was hooking up with this girl. they get into it and decide to hump. so he sticks it in once and thats it, pulls out and busts all over her thigh. when he told me i couldnt stop laughing
WTF....I didnt even know that was possible.
Old 07-27-2005, 02:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Xenogen
WTF....I didnt even know that was possible.
Old 07-27-2005, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Teh Jatt
Old 07-27-2005, 12:09 PM
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Thumbs down Unfit

This thread has devolved into the most disgusting, gross thread E V A R!

I was going to lock it and ban everyone who contributed to this OT garbage disaster!

But, instead, I'm going to declare it: UNFIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION!

:wink:
Old 07-27-2005, 12:18 PM
  #221  
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Fyi

There are still some relevant stories being contributed so this thread will remain open, unless significant amount of whoring occurs again.
Old 07-27-2005, 01:07 PM
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Started dating some chick and the first time we slept together.. the fire alarm at the hotel goes off. Talk about blue balls.
Old 07-27-2005, 02:50 PM
  #223  
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Hotel? Sure this was a "date?" You weren't in Las Vegas were you?
Old 07-27-2005, 03:11 PM
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I plead the 5th!
Old 07-27-2005, 03:49 PM
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I was making out with this dude named Cory in the back of my mom's car (hey, I was 17, I didn't have my own car!) and we locked hte doors, and accidentally set the alarm off, and couldn't figure out how to shut it off! It took us about 5 minutes of thumbing through the instruction manual! It turns out we had to turn the key in the lock on each door, then the ignition. To make things worse, a cop came up to us and we had to explain to him exactly what we were doing to set the alarm off. We just explained at first that we had locked ourselves in the car, but he kept pressuring us for why. Then he laughed his ass off when he found out and told me to be more careful next time.
Old 07-27-2005, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by youngTL
I was making out with this dude named Cory in the back of my mom's car (hey, I was 17, I didn't have my own car!) and we locked hte doors, and accidentally set the alarm off, and couldn't figure out how to shut it off! It took us about 5 minutes of thumbing through the instruction manual! It turns out we had to turn the key in the lock on each door, then the ignition. To make things worse, a cop came up to us and we had to explain to him exactly what we were doing to set the alarm off. We just explained at first that we had locked ourselves in the car, but he kept pressuring us for why. Then he laughed his ass off when he found out and told me to be more careful next time.
Pretty good, but it would have been better if it was your parents coming instead of the cop and you were still in the closet.
Old 07-27-2005, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Whiskers
Pretty good, but it would have been better if it was your parents coming instead of the cop and you were still in the closet.
I was at that point. Too bad we were a good 20km from my house heh! I came out in October 2002 at the Halloween dance in grade 12 when some nasty girl asked me to dance and I told her my boyfriend wouldn't like that (she cried, liked me for 2 years apparently). It didn't spread around the school though, for some weird reason. So I let it slip during math 31 (calculus) during a work period. It spread like wildfire.
Old 07-27-2005, 04:21 PM
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20km? that's like 45 yards right?
Old 07-27-2005, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by mrsteve
20km? that's like 45 yards right?
More like 12 miles.
Old 07-27-2005, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by DarkSithCL
BAAWAWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



















He's right...How do I know?....
So, how do you know???
Old 07-27-2005, 10:38 PM
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Originally Posted by youngTL
More like 12 miles.

Old 07-28-2005, 08:24 AM
  #232  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
I was at that point. Too bad we were a good 20km from my house heh! I came out in October 2002 at the Halloween dance in grade 12 when some nasty girl asked me to dance and I told her my boyfriend wouldn't like that (she cried, liked me for 2 years apparently). It didn't spread around the school though, for some weird reason. So I let it slip during math 31 (calculus) during a work period. It spread like wildfire.

How and when did your parents find out?
Old 07-28-2005, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by dom
How and when did your parents find out?
They were the LAST people to find out. My mom, I told her while she was driving and she almost crashed (bad idea!). She's cool with it though. She said, "Moms know these things." She was just pissed off that she was essentially the last to know.

My dad found out when me and my then-boyfriend took them to a real chinese restaurant (cause my dad loves chinese food, and so do we). We told them we'd been going out for three months. My dad spit bubble tea out his nose, and said, "Oh..!" My mom just said she already knew.
Old 07-28-2005, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by ItalianStallion
heard my girlfriend queef for the first time last night. much louder than i expected, we both started laughing really fuckin hard. that is all.
Where you hittin it doggie style?????
Old 07-30-2005, 06:35 PM
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yup
Old 07-30-2005, 07:48 PM
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^ I think that's pretty common.
Old 07-30-2005, 07:58 PM
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my ex whore...uhhh i mean GF... took me to her house for the first time when we started dating and we wound up upstairs in her room. well thinks are going good when she gets up and moves to the end of the bed, sticks her ass up in the air and says F me from behind-and i was just about to when her mom came walking on in the room, to ask her a question, not knowing i was there. she's face down ass up-in her moms face- im standing there wishing i wasnt standing there and her mom looks st me, looks down, smiles, leaves and the GF goes, come on F me before i get dry!?!?!?!?!

the next day i come to the house and her mom answers the door and the first thing she says is, oh don't worry, i didn't see too much, but i did see!
Old 07-30-2005, 08:09 PM
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Cool mom. You should have asked her if she wanted a turn on your Pole of Love.
Old 07-30-2005, 10:57 PM
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Originally Posted by SDCGTSX
Cool mom. You should have asked her if she wanted a turn on your Pole of Love.

she was hot too but unfortunately the apple doesnt fall far from the tree and i dont have love for the hoe's.
she (the GF) got weird for a month and didnt want any part of me sexually, she went to the DR and found out she had herpes-and I'm clean as a whistle, had a feeling she was crooked, well that was over -thank god she had enough courtesy to not "share" and hence the WHORE in my first post

wonder if she is kicking herself now since i'm rolling in it!!

Oh well she probably has the HIV and deserves it
Old 07-30-2005, 11:16 PM
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Originally Posted by m&b6speed
she was hot too but unfortunately the apple doesnt fall far from the tree and i dont have love for the hoe's.
she (the GF) got weird for a month and didnt want any part of me sexually, she went to the DR and found out she had herpes-and I'm clean as a whistle, had a feeling she was crooked, well that was over -thank god she had enough courtesy to not "share" and hence the WHORE in my first post

wonder if she is kicking herself now since i'm rolling in it!!

Oh well she probably has the HIV and deserves it
Maybe she got herpes from her ex. In that case, that doesn't make her a whore.


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