Embarrassing sex moments.
07-18-2005, 03:57 PM
#41
Interesting. Interesting.
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
That's not a "blumpky" - that's a "blumpkin" 
Sheesh.
Sheesh.Canadians don't know much about poo sex.
07-18-2005, 04:12 PM
#45
Who's the masta?!...I AM!
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1. Consistently coming too fast.
I was having sex with this girl for the first time and her cooch was like magic, I beleive my high mark for the night was 5.............strokes.
2. Not being able to get it up.
Poor chick was giving it her best shot, sucking my dick with whip cream and everything but I just couldn't get hard. I think it was because I felt guilty about cheating on my girlfriend of the time because that was the only time I ever had that issue.
I was having sex with this girl for the first time and her cooch was like magic, I beleive my high mark for the night was 5.............strokes.
2. Not being able to get it up.
Poor chick was giving it her best shot, sucking my dick with whip cream and everything but I just couldn't get hard. I think it was because I felt guilty about cheating on my girlfriend of the time because that was the only time I ever had that issue.
07-18-2005, 04:12 PM
#46
Originally Posted by nicholbr
eww and eww.
only been stricken a couple times thank god...but whiskey dick is the worst
only been stricken a couple times thank god...but whiskey dick is the worst
Whiskey dick sucks, but not as bad as having to act drunk because your dick goes on strike out of disgust at what you're trying to stuff it in.
07-18-2005, 04:18 PM
#47
Me: "Yeah baby, I guess it must have been that bottle of Jack I got up to drink at 3AM while you were asleep. Yeah, I know it's 9AM, but I'm totally smashed right now - that must be the problem. This has never happened to me before."
Her: "Grrrrr.....ruff!"
Her: "Grrrrr.....ruff!"
07-18-2005, 04:19 PM
#48
Suzuka Master
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Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Whiskey dick sucks, but not as bad as having to act drunk because your dick goes on strike out of disgust at what you're trying to stuff it in.
been there...trust me...it goes like: IF number of teeth chick has <= how many nipples i have, THEN peepee != work
07-18-2005, 04:22 PM
#51
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Astroboy
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
Been there, just fake it.
07-18-2005, 04:47 PM
#61
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Originally Posted by Always Dirty
07-18-2005, 04:50 PM
#63
Interesting. Interesting.
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Waddy
The one on the right looks kinda feminine, the one on the left looks way more macho even with the long hair.
"macho"
07-18-2005, 04:51 PM
#64
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i think its just hard period for a guy to fake a orgasm, condom or not, nothing came out.. 
07-18-2005, 04:55 PM
#65
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by Mizouse
i think its just hard period for a guy to fake a orgasm, condom or not, nothing came out..
You can still have an orgasm with no fluid. Have you never had a dry orgasm? Only those who have sex a lot or masturbate too much get them.
07-18-2005, 04:58 PM
#66
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Her-
My freshman year in college I was hitting it doggy style and she started "pussy farting" uncontrollably. I was laughing so hard that I woke up the next morning and I was still laughing. She was very embarrassed and then got pissed the next day because every time I looked at her I just started laughing.
Me-
Being a one pump chump, not being able to cum
My freshman year in college I was hitting it doggy style and she started "pussy farting" uncontrollably. I was laughing so hard that I woke up the next morning and I was still laughing. She was very embarrassed and then got pissed the next day because every time I looked at her I just started laughing.
Me-
Being a one pump chump, not being able to cum
07-18-2005, 04:59 PM
#67
Pit Stop?
Originally Posted by youngTL
You can still have an orgasm with no fluid. Have you never had a dry orgasm? Only those who have sex a lot or masturbate too much get them.
And I'm not changing my avatar because everytime I try to upload a new one it says it's too big WHEN IT'S FUCKING NOT so I give up.
07-18-2005, 05:02 PM
#68
Originally Posted by Astroboy
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
...And there is nothing you can ever say to make her feel better either...how do I know? ....LOL
07-18-2005, 05:06 PM
#70
Originally Posted by Mizouse
i think its just hard period for a guy to fake a orgasm, condom or not, nothing came out..
I'm LMAO....sorry y'all
07-18-2005, 05:24 PM
#72
Senior Moderator
Up, please.
I was taking my then g/f home to her apt in Chicago after a night on the town. Her roommate was home so we couldn't do it in her apt. 
She lived on the 18th floor. We got on the elevator and then got it on in the elevator. I told her I could get off before we got off (so to speak). We were standing up and I had her pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator.
I hadn't figured on anyone pushing the up button before her floor. However, the elevator stopped abruptly around the 12th floor and two church ladies with copies of the Watchtower in their hands got a sight they will not likely forget.
I'm sure it confirmed their theology that the end was at hand.
So that I didn't have to have my end in hand, I just said, "Oh, well..." and finished her off before the 18th. I won the bet but the competition was its own reward.
She lived on the 18th floor. We got on the elevator and then got it on in the elevator. I told her I could get off before we got off (so to speak). We were standing up and I had her pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator.
I hadn't figured on anyone pushing the up button before her floor. However, the elevator stopped abruptly around the 12th floor and two church ladies with copies of the Watchtower in their hands got a sight they will not likely forget.
I'm sure it confirmed their theology that the end was at hand.
So that I didn't have to have my end in hand, I just said, "Oh, well..." and finished her off before the 18th. I won the bet but the competition was its own reward.
07-18-2005, 05:29 PM
#73
Senior Moderator
Variation of the Buffalo Wing.
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
One time I was giving my fiancee, the love of my life, a cleveland steamer and accidentally hit her chin. 
EDIT:
07-18-2005, 05:46 PM
#78
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Originally Posted by virtualbong
and I've encountered the pussy fart as well and we both started to die laughing.
we both started laughing so hard...I ended up losing wood cause I couldnt stop.
07-18-2005, 05:50 PM
#80
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Originally Posted by wstevens
Laughing kills sex.
