Embarrassing sex moments.
07-18-2005, 05:57 PM
#81
We were on a let-out couch bed with me on top and we got too close to the top and the whole thing tipped over with us both on it...I hit my head on the floor as she slid past me...we laughed about this just last week...
Were were in a really little, "one man" public bathroom with her leaning over a sink (from the back) and she hit her head on the faucet with one of the thrusts...
I think those are the worst...but I'll ask her to post others if she thinks of a better one...or two...
Were were in a really little, "one man" public bathroom with her leaning over a sink (from the back) and she hit her head on the faucet with one of the thrusts...
I think those are the worst...but I'll ask her to post others if she thinks of a better one...or two...
07-18-2005, 05:59 PM
#82
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by Xpditor
I was taking my then g/f home to her apt in Chicago after a night on the town. Her roommate was home so we couldn't do it in her apt. 
She lived on the 18th floor. We got on the elevator and then got it on in the elevator. I told her I could get off before we got off (so to speak). We were standing up and I had her pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator.
I hadn't figured on anyone pushing the up button before her floor. However, the elevator stopped abruptly around the 12th floor and two church ladies with copies of the Watchtower in their hands got a sight they will not likely forget.
I'm sure it confirmed their theology that the end was at hand.
So that I didn't have to have my end in hand, I just said, "Oh, well..." and finished her off before the 18th. I won the bet but the competition was its own reward.
She lived on the 18th floor. We got on the elevator and then got it on in the elevator. I told her I could get off before we got off (so to speak). We were standing up and I had her pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator.
I hadn't figured on anyone pushing the up button before her floor. However, the elevator stopped abruptly around the 12th floor and two church ladies with copies of the Watchtower in their hands got a sight they will not likely forget.
I'm sure it confirmed their theology that the end was at hand.
So that I didn't have to have my end in hand, I just said, "Oh, well..." and finished her off before the 18th. I won the bet but the competition was its own reward.
07-18-2005, 06:35 PM
#86
Community Architect
robb m.
robb m.
one time i passed out unconcious on top of a woman in the middle of the act.
I woke up in the morning with my pants around my ankles asleep on her bed. She was curled up on the floor sleeping. I let myself out. it was ackward for teh rest of year since we lived on the same Residence floor
I woke up in the morning with my pants around my ankles asleep on her bed. She was curled up on the floor sleeping. I let myself out. it was ackward for teh rest of year since we lived on the same Residence floor
07-18-2005, 06:36 PM
#87
Yeehaw
I've been walked in on a bunch of times but this one time stands out... I was going at it doggystyle in this girls dorm room and heard a noise so I stopped and kind of leaned back to see what it was. It was the door, as her roommate had just walked in. There were no blankets or anything left on the bed so I just kind of froze. Me in all my glory and the girl with her ass in the air... the roommates jaw just dropped and she gasped, and froze for a second taking it in. After a second she just turned and ran out.
Found out later the roommate was a virgin, had never really hooked up with any guy at all, and there was a good chance I was the first real live naked dude she'd seen.
Oh yeah and once I was going down on this random black girl in the middle of the day for some reason and 3 of my friends showed up from out of town and just busted in on me.
Damn now I keep thinking of them... another time I woke up after a party at this girls house and the girl was completely stripped naked laying on the floor at my feet. Some other girl was sleeping on my lap... and this was in the living room so when other people woke up they saw this... I swear to this day I didn't touch either one of them but I've never been able to explain what happened.
Found out later the roommate was a virgin, had never really hooked up with any guy at all, and there was a good chance I was the first real live naked dude she'd seen.
Oh yeah and once I was going down on this random black girl in the middle of the day for some reason and 3 of my friends showed up from out of town and just busted in on me.
Damn now I keep thinking of them... another time I woke up after a party at this girls house and the girl was completely stripped naked laying on the floor at my feet. Some other girl was sleeping on my lap... and this was in the living room so when other people woke up they saw this... I swear to this day I didn't touch either one of them but I've never been able to explain what happened.
07-18-2005, 06:37 PM
#88
1) It was in High School and we both were virgins and since we didn't have our own place she would always give me head in public on some backstreet or $50 for a room at the HOJO. Well we decided to "do it" in a parking lot of an abandoned supermarket. Well I was trying to get it in and both seats were set all the way back, a rent a cop rolls up and goes by us and then turns on his flashing lights. Before he could turn on his lights and before my girlfriend knew what was happening I bolted over to my seat butt naked and hit the gas. My seat back was down so I had to hold onto the steering wheel for dear life...it was the funniest shit ever (but never got to pop the cherry).
2) Fingering my current girl at my parents house because we werent supposed to have sex in my parents house. She started moaning and all I heard was my door slam shut then my mom walk back into her room. LOL I was rolling laughing and she was scared as hell.
2) Fingering my current girl at my parents house because we werent supposed to have sex in my parents house. She started moaning and all I heard was my door slam shut then my mom walk back into her room. LOL I was rolling laughing and she was scared as hell.
Last edited by JesusJuice; 07-18-2005 at 06:39 PM.
07-18-2005, 07:28 PM
#89
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: NYC and Tysons
Age: 44
Posts: 4,578
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
#1
When I was in HS, it was common for me to bang bitches at their house because I didnt need them knowing where I lived. Anyways, I was always a little too nervous about doing that because there was always the possibilty that their parents....especially their father might come home and walk in on the act. One night I was with this chick and we started fooling around on the living room floor which eventually lead to the bedroom. Anyway, were both in mid-fuck, and the door to her bedroom springs open. I LEAP off the bed, trying to hide myself, and due to bad planning, SMASH MY FUCKING HEAD INTO THE NIGHT STAND...and take down the lamp with me. I'm in a haze, my head hurts, I feel like an ass to look up; there, on the bed with her, WAS HER FUCKING CAT...that jealous animal apparently wanted attention, which she was giving to me.
#2
One night...I was in NoVA for a visit and my parents were suppose to be at some christmas gala for my Mom's company. Well, I hooked up with an acquaintance and took her back to my place because I thought it was "safe". Im fucking her...and I swear my dad HAD to have known what was going on, but he walks in...I immediatly stop doing my business, he looks to see what the girl looks like...she says "Hi, Mr Ramalho", Im irritated right now so I simply say "Yah Dad, whats up ?" He tells me to move my car and park his up when Im done. The acquaintance starts to laugh and says my dad did it on purpose. I couldnt look my Dad in the eye the next morning.
#3
In my previous apartment, my cousin and I use to live next door to each other...so it would be common for him be in and out of my place. One night Im fucking on my couch...he walks in, goes to my fridge, pours himself a drink...and leaves. Im saying to myself WTF was that?
#4
A couple of times Ive told chicks alot of BS they wanna hear to get them into bed only to not remember their name and not seal the deal.
#5
Since Im a little unorthodox when it comes to sexual positions....I was doing one that involves putting your foot on your nightstand. Well simply put...Hardwood floors + Condom Wrapper + Uneven balance + the wrong foot movement = Falling on your ass.
When I was in HS, it was common for me to bang bitches at their house because I didnt need them knowing where I lived. Anyways, I was always a little too nervous about doing that because there was always the possibilty that their parents....especially their father might come home and walk in on the act. One night I was with this chick and we started fooling around on the living room floor which eventually lead to the bedroom. Anyway, were both in mid-fuck, and the door to her bedroom springs open. I LEAP off the bed, trying to hide myself, and due to bad planning, SMASH MY FUCKING HEAD INTO THE NIGHT STAND...and take down the lamp with me. I'm in a haze, my head hurts, I feel like an ass to look up; there, on the bed with her, WAS HER FUCKING CAT...that jealous animal apparently wanted attention, which she was giving to me.
#2
One night...I was in NoVA for a visit and my parents were suppose to be at some christmas gala for my Mom's company. Well, I hooked up with an acquaintance and took her back to my place because I thought it was "safe". Im fucking her...and I swear my dad HAD to have known what was going on, but he walks in...I immediatly stop doing my business, he looks to see what the girl looks like...she says "Hi, Mr Ramalho", Im irritated right now so I simply say "Yah Dad, whats up ?" He tells me to move my car and park his up when Im done. The acquaintance starts to laugh and says my dad did it on purpose. I couldnt look my Dad in the eye the next morning.
#3
In my previous apartment, my cousin and I use to live next door to each other...so it would be common for him be in and out of my place. One night Im fucking on my couch...he walks in, goes to my fridge, pours himself a drink...and leaves. Im saying to myself WTF was that?
#4
A couple of times Ive told chicks alot of BS they wanna hear to get them into bed only to not remember their name and not seal the deal.
#5
Since Im a little unorthodox when it comes to sexual positions....I was doing one that involves putting your foot on your nightstand. Well simply put...Hardwood floors + Condom Wrapper + Uneven balance + the wrong foot movement = Falling on your ass.
07-18-2005, 11:48 PM
#91
Originally Posted by Xpditor
I was taking my then g/f home to her apt in Chicago after a night on the town. Her roommate was home so we couldn't do it in her apt.
She lived on the 18th floor. We got on the elevator and then got it on in the elevator. I told her I could get off before we got off (so to speak). We were standing up and I had her pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator.
I hadn't figured on anyone pushing the up button before her floor. However, the elevator stopped abruptly around the 12th floor and two church ladies with copies of the Watchtower in their hands got a sight they will not likely forget.
I'm sure it confirmed their theology that the end was at hand.
So that I didn't have to have my end in hand, I just said, "Oh, well..." and finished her off before the 18th. I won the bet but the competition was its own reward.
She lived on the 18th floor. We got on the elevator and then got it on in the elevator. I told her I could get off before we got off (so to speak). We were standing up and I had her pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator.
I hadn't figured on anyone pushing the up button before her floor. However, the elevator stopped abruptly around the 12th floor and two church ladies with copies of the Watchtower in their hands got a sight they will not likely forget.
I'm sure it confirmed their theology that the end was at hand.
So that I didn't have to have my end in hand, I just said, "Oh, well..." and finished her off before the 18th. I won the bet but the competition was its own reward.
07-18-2005, 11:50 PM
#92
2004 Euro Cup Champions
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: nj
Age: 40
Posts: 2,885
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Astroboy
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
ouch.
I'm just lurking, but that never goes over well.
07-19-2005, 12:18 AM
#93
Safety Car
Originally Posted by Gixxster
Her-
My freshman year in college I was hitting it doggy style and she started "pussy farting" uncontrollably.
My freshman year in college I was hitting it doggy style and she started "pussy farting" uncontrollably.
07-19-2005, 12:43 AM
#94
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
So not only were these two Watchtower-carrying "church women" riding an elevator up from one floor to another between the first and 18th late at night, but you were able to get started and "finish her off" before you made it to the 18th floor? And you had time to get a good look at what they were reading?
Onwed by teh dteails
07-19-2005, 01:36 AM
#97
No pics w/thread= garbage
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: In the desert... Cali
Age: 40
Posts: 773
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by samkws
fell completely asleep when she was doing oral for me
I have to agree with this, and not being able to finish afterwards.
She musta been loose, cause the other girls I finished off. 
07-19-2005, 03:10 AM
#98
I was riding the crimson wave, actually she was on top, then when she got off to switch position it looked like she took a crap on me. I've never seen period-blood so thick like mollasses before.
07-19-2005, 03:26 AM
#99
That's Racist
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: San Diego native. UCLA resident. =)
Age: 38
Posts: 5,634
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by dom
Cleveland Steamer 
EDIT:
1. Cleveland Steamer
The cleveland steamer is far more specific than the listings I have seen here. A sexual act by nature (fetish) the cleveland steamer is when one person craps on another person's chest and (very important) then sits down and rocks back and forth like a steam roller.
Billy had just gotten out of the shower, so me and John gave min a cleveland steamer.
EDIT:
1. Cleveland Steamer
The cleveland steamer is far more specific than the listings I have seen here. A sexual act by nature (fetish) the cleveland steamer is when one person craps on another person's chest and (very important) then sits down and rocks back and forth like a steam roller.
Billy had just gotten out of the shower, so me and John gave min a cleveland steamer.
07-19-2005, 09:27 AM
#100
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
So not only were these two Watchtower-carrying "church women" riding an elevator up from one floor to another between the first and 18th late at night, but you were able to get started and "finish her off" before you made it to the 18th floor? And you had time to get a good look at what they were reading?
And, yes, I was able to finish ME off before the 18th floor. (Not proud of it, BTW).
, but hey, whatever.
07-19-2005, 09:56 AM
#104
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Hey - what's gay about taking an interest in some guy in his 40s recounting/fabricating his sexual escapades for a bunch of guys half his age? 
. It just seemed like a couple of fags in the club trying to outdo one another, hence the :gheyfight: rather than the :ghey:
07-19-2005, 09:57 AM
#105
Originally Posted by youngTL
Heh, nothing . It just seemed like a couple of fags in the club trying to outdo one another, hence the :gheyfight: rather than the :ghey:
. It just seemed like a couple of fags in the club trying to outdo one another, hence the :gheyfight: rather than the :ghey:
07-19-2005, 10:02 AM
#106
One time my girlfriends mom walked in on us. I could sense that soemone was comming down the hall and jumped up up and ran towards the bathroom. Her mom said all she remebers is walking in to the room and seeing my naked butt jumping through the air in to the bathroom.
07-19-2005, 10:05 AM
#107
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
How do they try to outdo each other? Dance-off? Are there fights in gay clubs often? Do they need bouncers to break up slap fights?
That reminded me of Zoolander (the part with the walk-off). The really femmy guys will get all in each others faces over cheating (which happens a lot with them). If it starts getting physical or too loud and disturbing the other patrons, the big lesbian bouncer named Marjorie will escort them out.
I've seen a few big fights though. This one muscle dude named Brendan got really upset at this old guy who grabbed his boyfriends ass and slammed him into the wall. Apparently the old guy was a repeat offender and was banned forever after that. But generally people are nice to each other. A lot nicer than in straight clubs. At least at the one I go to people talk to each other and don't act all choch-y. We get some straight people and couples that come sometimes (usually the girl wants to go and the guy clings to her for dear life!).
07-19-2005, 10:08 AM
#108
Originally Posted by youngTL
That reminded me of Zoolander (the part with the walk-off). The really femmy guys will get all in each others faces over cheating (which happens a lot with them). If it starts getting physical or too loud and disturbing the other patrons, the big lesbian bouncer named Marjorie will escort them out.
I've seen a few big fights though. This one muscle dude named Brendan got really upset at this old guy who grabbed his boyfriends ass and slammed him into the wall. Apparently the old guy was a repeat offender and was banned forever after that. But generally people are nice to each other. A lot nicer than in straight clubs. At least at the one I go to people talk to each other and don't act all choch-y. We get some straight people and couples that come sometimes (usually the girl wants to go and the guy clings to her for dear life!).
There's a whole world out there that I never get to see.
07-19-2005, 10:42 AM
#112
Senior Moderator
Take it or leave it.
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Hey - what's gay about taking an interest in some guy in his 40s recounting/fabricating his sexual escapades for a bunch of guys half his age?
Believe it or not; that's up to you, Mr. Cleveland Steamer.
07-19-2005, 11:40 AM
#117
Originally Posted by soopa
AD, why are you being such a dick? Can't take a joke? 
Good to see that he's still unable to deal with his own problems, though.
07-19-2005, 12:06 PM
#119
Interesting. Interesting.
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Apologies for the drama in this thread - I've taken my Paxil and things are back to normal for another 12 hours or so.
