Embarrassing sex moments.
07-22-2005, 11:15 AM
#165
Moderator Alumnus
Originally Posted by Astroboy
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
But it also sometimes let you do stuff they wouldn't normally! muhahaha
Also sucks for us when it happens...
tequila usually does it for me...
07-22-2005, 11:16 AM
#166
Corpretty
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Originally Posted by bigman
Because i live with her now. Back then i didnt care. Now i feel bad writing about it. 
07-22-2005, 11:19 AM
#167
'Big Daddy Diggler'
Originally Posted by Count Dracura
That story rules. And life is all about the stories you collect along the way. Does she know about it now?
If she finds out, i can bet my life on getting a KY'ed finger in the ass during a BJ.
07-22-2005, 11:21 AM
#168
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by bigman
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If she finds out, i can bet my life on getting a KY'ed finger in the ass during a BJ.
If she finds out, i can bet my life on getting a KY'ed finger in the ass during a BJ.
Could have been worse for her. If she was dating wstevens he would have nutted in her mouth and forced her to swallow.
07-22-2005, 11:23 AM
#169
'Big Daddy Diggler'
Originally Posted by dom
Could have been worse for her. If she was dating wstevens he would have nutted in her mouth and forced her to swallow.
07-23-2005, 12:39 AM
#170
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We were in a public bathroom in a pretty busy restruant in Dallas and we were in one of the handicap stalls in the womens restroom...I propped my leg up on the toilet paper dispenser and it fell off the wall. The lady in the next stall was like "what was that?" Come to think of it, we have knocked off several toilet paper dispensers.... 
07-23-2005, 12:50 AM
#171
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Originally Posted by bigman
The worse thing that ever happened was actually to my girl. When we first hooked up, we would wait for my parents to go away to their upstate home for the weekend before we got our freak on. The only problem was that she only felt comfy having sex in my room. Now i have to mention this before i continue. I had a shark in a bottle, (some of you may know what that is) on the ledge of my headboard. This thing was like 24 inches long with a shark in it and filled with water. it was pretty heavy as well. Back to the main story. So we were going at it hard for a while and i was ready to bust. When i know i am gonna cum i start going nuts, pumping away. I guess i pumped to hard because the shark in a bottle fell off the head board onto my girls head, knocking her straigh out. I was right "there" and didnt want to kill my big O. So i kept pumping as she started making weird moaning noises, with her eyes all partially closed and rolled back. Sadly, i busted my nut on her face and cleaned her up before she woke up.
Talk about not being distracted for nothing........
07-23-2005, 01:10 AM
#172
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This was actually a blessing in disguise.....
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1. But right before I was gonna get my d*ck wet, my roommate came back to the dorm from class and started to unlock the door. I leaped-frogged over the ex-gf and re-locked the door so he couldn't get in. Well me and the ex-gf got dressed quickly and then let the roommie back in. Here's the kicker..........
My roommate walks in and says real loud, "What is that smell? It stinks.
" Inside I was laughing sooooooooo hard. You can't mistake the smell of ass. By coming home early he save me from making a huge mistake. I'm gonna go 
now.
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1. But right before I was gonna get my d*ck wet, my roommate came back to the dorm from class and started to unlock the door. I leaped-frogged over the ex-gf and re-locked the door so he couldn't get in. Well me and the ex-gf got dressed quickly and then let the roommie back in. Here's the kicker..........
My roommate walks in and says real loud, "What is that smell? It stinks.
" Inside I was laughing sooooooooo hard. You can't mistake the smell of ass. By coming home early he save me from making a huge mistake. I'm gonna go now.
Last edited by txathlete; 07-23-2005 at 01:14 AM.
07-23-2005, 01:19 AM
#173
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Originally Posted by txathlete
This was actually a blessing in disguise.....
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1. But right before I was gonna get my d*ck wet, my roommate came back to the dorm from class and started to unlock the door. I leaped-frogged over the ex-gf and re-locked the door so he couldn't get in. Well me and the ex-gf got dressed quickly and then let the roommie back in. Here's the kicker..........
My roommate walks in and says real loud, "What is that smell? It stinks. " Inside I was laughing sooooooooo hard. You can't mistake the smell of ass. By coming home early he save me from making a huge mistake. I'm gonna go now.
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1. But right before I was gonna get my d*ck wet, my roommate came back to the dorm from class and started to unlock the door. I leaped-frogged over the ex-gf and re-locked the door so he couldn't get in. Well me and the ex-gf got dressed quickly and then let the roommie back in. Here's the kicker..........
My roommate walks in and says real loud, "What is that smell? It stinks.
" Inside I was laughing sooooooooo hard. You can't mistake the smell of ass. By coming home early he save me from making a huge mistake. I'm gonna go now.
07-23-2005, 01:21 AM
#174
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Originally Posted by txathlete
This was actually a blessing in disguise.....
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1. But right before I was gonna get my d*ck wet, my roommate came back to the dorm from class and started to unlock the door. I leaped-frogged over the ex-gf and re-locked the door so he couldn't get in. Well me and the ex-gf got dressed quickly and then let the roommie back in. Here's the kicker..........
My roommate walks in and says real loud, "What is that smell? It stinks. " Inside I was laughing sooooooooo hard. You can't mistake the smell of ass. By coming home early he save me from making a huge mistake. I'm gonna go now.
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1. But right before I was gonna get my d*ck wet, my roommate came back to the dorm from class and started to unlock the door. I leaped-frogged over the ex-gf and re-locked the door so he couldn't get in. Well me and the ex-gf got dressed quickly and then let the roommie back in. Here's the kicker..........
My roommate walks in and says real loud, "What is that smell? It stinks.
" Inside I was laughing sooooooooo hard. You can't mistake the smell of ass. By coming home early he save me from making a huge mistake. I'm gonna go now.
!!
07-23-2005, 01:29 AM
#175
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Originally Posted by supermegaglossy
her ass smelled and it was only doggy? gross. i thought you were going to say you did anal or something, at least. that's really nasty.
Dude if it smelled that bad on the outside, why would I want to stick it in? I think I enjoy having a dick more then losing it to a nasty funkafide flesh eating bacterial shit in her anus. Then again, that's just me.
07-23-2005, 03:37 AM
#176
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by txathlete
Dude if it smelled that bad on the outside, why would I want to stick it in? I think I enjoy having a dick more then losing it to a nasty funkafide flesh eating bacterial shit in her anus. Then again, that's just me.
07-23-2005, 11:13 AM
#178
Burning Brakes
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It should be mandatory to clean your genital area before sex no matter what the situation. A condom should come with a wetnap wipe kit. Trojan! Are you listening?!? I'm giving you a multimillion dollar marketing idea!
07-23-2005, 12:47 PM
#179
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by Xenogen
How do you know she just didnt take a huge dump before ? 
07-24-2005, 06:15 PM
#180
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Originally Posted by youngTL
Even if she did, she should have showered or something, or WIPED HER DAMN ASS BETTER!
Many years ago, on my first trip to Paris, one of the gals in my group thought it was to wash her pantyhose in. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.
07-25-2005, 10:05 AM
#181
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by jdone
This is why the Europeans have that strange thing called the bidet.
Many years ago, on my first trip to Paris, one of the gals in my group thought it was to wash her pantyhose in. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.
Many years ago, on my first trip to Paris, one of the gals in my group thought it was to wash her pantyhose in. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.
I know, my grandparents on my dad's side have one (they're Italian, except my nonno is dead now). My little brother thought it was a water fountain! (he was 6 at the time).
07-25-2005, 10:24 AM
#182
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My girlfriend thought it would be a great idea to have sex on her trampoline outside in late july. Sounded good at the time. getting the rythym down was a little tough, but then I relized my biggest problem. the fucking mosquitos!!! They bit the shit out of my ass and nuts. We were both scratchin for like a week.........Sucks....
07-25-2005, 11:50 AM
#183
'Big Daddy Diggler'
Originally Posted by lodi781
My girlfriend thought it would be a great idea to have sex on her trampoline outside in late july. Sounded good at the time. getting the rythym down was a little tough, but then I relized my biggest problem. the fucking mosquitos!!! They bit the shit out of my ass and nuts. We were both scratchin for like a week.........Sucks....
07-25-2005, 12:39 PM
#184
50? you must be kidding!
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Originally Posted by dom
At your age? You better have been drunk.
Happy to say I havn't had that problem just yet
Happy to say I havn't had that problem just yet
07-25-2005, 05:33 PM
#185
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Originally Posted by lodi781
My girlfriend thought it would be a great idea to have sex on her trampoline outside in late july. Sounded good at the time. getting the rythym down was a little tough, but then I relized my biggest problem. the fucking mosquitos!!! They bit the shit out of my ass and nuts. We were both scratchin for like a week.........Sucks....
07-25-2005, 05:51 PM
#186
Community Architect
robb m.
robb m.
the only shitty thing about proper trampoline sex, is the inevitable carpet burn you get on your knees and/or elbows.
07-25-2005, 05:55 PM
#187
Go Giants
Im lost....Are you lying on the trampoline dick up and the girl jumps as high as possible and try to land a perfect mount???
07-25-2005, 06:35 PM
#188
Interesting. Interesting.
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by txathlete
So back in the college days, I was about to fuck my ex-gf in my dorm room. I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees and got her into the doggystyle position. Right before I was about to stick it in, the smell of her ass singed my nose hairs. Right at that moment, I had three thoughts: 1) Do I breath out of my mouth and just fuck it, 2) Do I flip her into missionary position, or 3) fuggetaboutit and tell her to go take a fucking shower and wash that asshole while she is at it. I was horny so I took option 1.
Best
Sex
Story
Evar
07-25-2005, 06:51 PM
#189
Registered Abuser of VTEC
Originally Posted by wsklar
Im lost....Are you lying on the trampoline dick up and the girl jumps as high as possible and try to land a perfect mount???
https://acurazine.com/forums/dating-relationships-14/im-hurting-309620/
07-25-2005, 08:05 PM
#190
Who Dis Is?
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This one is pretty grose..... and it just happened this morning. For about 4-5 days I've been blue-balling since it's that time of the month for my gf. Well, I went to bed pretty late last night since her and I were partying till about 3am. I didn't take her home so she ended up sleeping at her house and coming over at about 9 today since she was "supposedly" through. I like to get her legs on my shoulders most of the time and while I was I looked down and there was fucking blood on my dick 
I was so fucking grosed out I almost lost my wood right then, but then I just put her legs down and tried not to think about it.
I was so fucking grosed out I almost lost my wood right then, but then I just put her legs down and tried not to think about it.
07-25-2005, 08:11 PM
#191
Community Architect
robb m.
robb m.
^^^ pussy.
07-25-2005, 08:53 PM
#192
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Originally Posted by wsklar
Im lost....Are you lying on the trampoline dick up and the girl jumps as high as possible and try to land a perfect mount???
went like this..
1st) her on top, to much air, probable dick breakage
2nd) me on top, weird bounce thing goin on, no fun
3rd) doggy style, ehh, not feelin it
4th) fuck this, my balls are mosquito food, let go inside, get drunk, and fuck mosquito free
07-26-2005, 11:28 AM
#195
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Originally Posted by Tunaboy
This one is pretty grose..... and it just happened this morning. For about 4-5 days I've been blue-balling since it's that time of the month for my gf. Well, I went to bed pretty late last night since her and I were partying till about 3am. I didn't take her home so she ended up sleeping at her house and coming over at about 9 today since she was "supposedly" through. I like to get her legs on my shoulders most of the time and while I was I looked down and there was fucking blood on my dick I was so fucking grosed out I almost lost my wood right then, but then I just put her legs down and tried not to think about it.
I was so fucking grosed out I almost lost my wood right then, but then I just put her legs down and tried not to think about it.
OMG That's the nastiest thing I've EVER HEARD OF! 
Grow up, sparky.
07-26-2005, 11:43 AM
#197
Interesting. Interesting.
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
about the poo smell ... maybe she farted?
not necessarily. sometimes, if you don't wipe your ass well, you can smell the poo just by cracking open your ass cheeks.
07-26-2005, 11:48 AM
#199
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
When my girl is juicin' I like to go get a soft serve ice cream cone and cherry-dip that F'er myself!
What about the chocalate dip?
