Embarrassing sex moments.
07-18-2005, 11:22 AM
#1
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Thread Starter
Embarrassing sex moments.
is this a repizzle?
Mine:
1) Had sex on the floor after eating Chinese food. I had grains of house fried rice in my pubes, which ended up making my wife (gf at the time) bust out laughing.
2) Farted in the middle of the action, tried to pass it off as the sound my leg was making against the sheets. I thought it was working until the smell came....
Name one or two of your's.
Mine:
1) Had sex on the floor after eating Chinese food. I had grains of house fried rice in my pubes, which ended up making my wife (gf at the time) bust out laughing.
2) Farted in the middle of the action, tried to pass it off as the sound my leg was making against the sheets. I thought it was working until the smell came....
Name one or two of your's.
07-18-2005, 11:34 AM
#6
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Thread Starter
One time, very early on in my sex life, I tried to "hint" that I wanted a BJ by guiding (read: pushing) this chick's head down toward my crotch (smooth, eh?).
Anyway she said, "OWWWW YOU"RE HURTING ME!!!" No joke, she had a stiff neck for like a week and everyone at school was asking her how she hurt herself.
Anyway she said, "OWWWW YOU"RE HURTING ME!!!" No joke, she had a stiff neck for like a week and everyone at school was asking her how she hurt herself.
Last edited by wstevens; 07-18-2005 at 11:36 AM.
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07-18-2005, 11:35 AM
#8
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Thread Starter
Originally Posted by dom
At your age? You better have been drunk.
Happy to say I havn't had that problem just yet
Happy to say I havn't had that problem just yet
I had that problem once. I panicked. The more I thought "god, please get this thing going..." the softer and more shriveled it became. God hates me.
07-18-2005, 11:39 AM
#9
Registered Abuser of VTEC
I was making out with my ex when my brother started opening my door to get a CD from my room. I ran (naked) to the door, opened it quickly and tossed the CD out. Stupid move in retrospect. For the 0.5 seconds the door was open he looked like a deer in headlights. I didn't talk to him for a week I felt so awkward.
07-18-2005, 11:41 AM
#10
Community Architect
robb m.
robb m.
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
07-18-2005, 11:44 AM
#11
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Astroboy
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
Gets very awkward doesn't it.
07-18-2005, 12:34 PM
#13
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A week or so ago I was crushin' it from behind and I got the worst charlie horse i've ever experienced in my entire life. It was like God himself had grabbed a hold of my leg and decided to twist and turn my muscle like some perverted game of Indian rug-burn.
I think we stopped having sex right then and there and just got ourselves off.
I think we stopped having sex right then and there and just got ourselves off.
07-18-2005, 12:38 PM
#15
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Originally Posted by mrsteve
A week or so ago I was crushin' it from behind and I got the worst charlie horse i've ever experienced in my entire life. It was like God himself had grabbed a hold of my leg and decided to twist and turn my muscle like some perverted game of Indian rug-burn.
I think we stopped having sex right then and there and just got ourselves off.
I think we stopped having sex right then and there and just got ourselves off.
07-18-2005, 12:52 PM
#19
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It was a couple of years ago and I was having sex with my ex on the top bunk bed in her dorm room. Her roommate and her Parents and little sister came in. She banged her head on my chin trying to get up so fast that I fell off the bunk bed onto the chair that i used to get up there in the first place. the second embarrassing moment was dropping this girl when i was holding her up having sex. Her head hit the wall kinda hard.
07-18-2005, 01:00 PM
#20
Go Giants
Originally Posted by Astroboy
i think the most embarassing moments are the times when it becomes impossible to finish for whatever reason. I haven't met a women yet who didn't take that kind of thing personally...
Mine would probably the times when Im too drunk to get it up.
07-18-2005, 01:30 PM
#22
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me:
i was on top, i sneezed.... bad. i mean REALLY bad. it was like i spit on her face (which i actually kinda did).
her:
she was on top. when we we finished, she got off and started to fart... pussy fart that is. i swear to god that was the funniest shit eVar! i never thought it was possible until then and she had no control over it. the look on her face was priceless as well.
i was on top, i sneezed.... bad. i mean REALLY bad. it was like i spit on her face (which i actually kinda did).
her:
she was on top. when we we finished, she got off and started to fart... pussy fart that is. i swear to god that was the funniest shit eVar! i never thought it was possible until then and she had no control over it. the look on her face was priceless as well.
07-18-2005, 01:41 PM
#24
I shoot people
..... I hate it when you're on top (missionary), and perhaps... it's a little hot in the room and both are sweaty... and you're skin on skin... but because of the sweat, there's a "suction" causing a fart sound... an actual fart is ackward, but after a couple of chuckles... if that... you're over it, and you continue... but my last g/f... the only way she can cum is through missionary position with very firm "grinding"... so, sometimes... the fart sound continues... talk about ackwardness...
07-18-2005, 01:42 PM
#25
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Originally Posted by car_lost
me:
i was on top, i sneezed.... bad. i mean REALLY bad. it was like i spit on her face (which i actually kinda did).
her:
she was on top. when we we finished, she got off and started to fart... pussy fart that is. i swear to god that was the funniest shit eVar! i never thought it was possible until then and she had no control over it. the look on her face was priceless as well.
i was on top, i sneezed.... bad. i mean REALLY bad. it was like i spit on her face (which i actually kinda did).
her:
she was on top. when we we finished, she got off and started to fart... pussy fart that is. i swear to god that was the funniest shit eVar! i never thought it was possible until then and she had no control over it. the look on her face was priceless as well.
on the sneezing part and I've encountered the pussy fart as well and we both started to die laughing.
07-18-2005, 03:25 PM
#29
likes it raw
Went upstairs with the gf for an afternoon session after she flew in from out of town...
We go back downstairs afterwards and find a room full of people in my living room (directly beneath my bedroom) all looking at us like
We go back downstairs afterwards and find a room full of people in my living room (directly beneath my bedroom) all looking at us like
07-18-2005, 03:29 PM
#30
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I had a girl (no not Michele) try and stick her finger up my ass while giving me head once. I totally wasn't expecting it so I practically jumped up off the bed and my legs both hit the sides of her head really hard.
07-18-2005, 03:46 PM
#32
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Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
One time I was giving my fiancee, the love of my life, a cleveland steamer and accidentally hit her chin. 
:looksupclevelandsteamer:
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07-18-2005, 03:50 PM
#34
Senior Moderator
Cleveland Steamer 
EDIT:
1. Cleveland Steamer
The cleveland steamer is far more specific than the listings I have seen here. A sexual act by nature (fetish) the cleveland steamer is when one person craps on another person's chest and (very important) then sits down and rocks back and forth like a steam roller.
Billy had just gotten out of the shower, so me and John gave min a cleveland steamer.
EDIT:
1. Cleveland Steamer
The cleveland steamer is far more specific than the listings I have seen here. A sexual act by nature (fetish) the cleveland steamer is when one person craps on another person's chest and (very important) then sits down and rocks back and forth like a steam roller.
Billy had just gotten out of the shower, so me and John gave min a cleveland steamer.
07-18-2005, 03:51 PM
#36
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Thread Starter
(N)a.)The act of dropping stink nuggets on someones chest before during or after sex (can be used as a punishment, break up tactic or fetish act)
b.)a way of telling your kids that you hate them
b.)a way of telling your kids that you hate them
Must be a masshole thing - it's one of the originals, along with dirty sanchez. 
07-18-2005, 03:53 PM
#38
Senior Moderator
Don't get confused now....
8. cleveland steamer
To the person who said that a Cleveland Steamer is when you receive a BJ on the crapper whilst droping the Kids off at the pool, To you I say, wrong sir. That is called a Blumpky. A Cleveland Steamer is most definatly a poo sport for the emotionally retartedans socially inept.
Why waste perfectly good poo on a Blumpky when you can share the fun of a Cleveland Steamer with your insignificant other.
8. cleveland steamer
To the person who said that a Cleveland Steamer is when you receive a BJ on the crapper whilst droping the Kids off at the pool, To you I say, wrong sir. That is called a Blumpky. A Cleveland Steamer is most definatly a poo sport for the emotionally retartedans socially inept.
Why waste perfectly good poo on a Blumpky when you can share the fun of a Cleveland Steamer with your insignificant other.
