So I've never really posted here or have ever had the urge to share this kind of stuff to anyone, but it's just been rough lately...

Well, I met this girl about two years ago and we talked for about a month before things got serious. Everything seemed to go well except for the fact that we argued every so often. Eventually we had the big one that ended it. Thankfully we were close enough to be friends for about 5 months before we got back together.

That didn't last too long so we were back to the close friends stage, but we talked regularly until school ended and we went our seperate ways for the summer. We didn't see each other for about 3 months, but we talked about once a week and everything seemed to go fine between us.

Since we started school though I had noticed that she had sort of talking to me differently and sort of trying to avoid me. I eventually asked her what was going on between us, and she says that she doesn't want to send me the wrong messages anymore. So this whole week we haven't talked and when we have seen each other it's been wierd.

I really don't want to lose her as a friend and really want to start having normal conversations that we had such as last semester and during the summer. I want to contact her, but also want to respect her space and give her time, but at the same time I don't want to act when its too late... She has been one of my closes friends I have ever had in my short life.

CLIFF NOTES
-Met this girl 2 years ago
-Dated off and on, but were always close to one another
-For the past few months we had been talking regularly, though we didn't see each other for 3 months
-School finally started, but she abruptly change the way she talked to me.
-I confront her and she says she doesn't want to send me the wrong messages.
-Haven't talked for a week
-Want to do something before I lose a close friend, but I want to respect her space and give her time, but don't want to do something when it's too late.

I'm not sure what to do? Talk to her no or give her more time.

Thanks for all the advice!

 

Dont call, even if she goes and fucks some other guy or makes a new friend if you ignore her she will come back. UNLESS she heard you did something crazy like raped a kid or something or that you eat ass or just something that disgusts her and changed the way she looks at you. Then she aint talking to you again.

But if it is just new dick in her life then leave her alone...they always come back if you have patience.

 

Let her go. Your feelings for her are too strong. You won't be able to handle being the friend while she is banging someone else. Believe me, she already is.

 

I'm torn at what to do. I really don't want to do something when it's too late. I mean we havent' dated or talked about dating since mid march. I really don't like us not being able to talk to one another....but if she's with someone else..then I guess have no choice.

My plan had just to give her time and space, and when we both get settled into school, then to try to fix the communication problem.

 

It seem that your relationship with her is very strong and for her to you is not. Your not willing to give up a mutual friendship but it seem she's not feeling the same way as you are. It's best to let her go, but before that let her know how you feel (did you do it when you confront her?) Maybe she lost interest in you and felt awkward dating you and don't want to become friend after that, so she gave u the "I dont want to send wrong message" speech. My guess is that she found someone else when school started or was talking to someone else while you two didn't meet for 3 months. You can talk to a person everyday for hours and not meet them for a long time is nothing special. Talk is cheap is the quote.

You say u want to respect her space, do it. It seem she wants you to respect your own space and move on. Friendship between you and her will always be there when there is trouble. Best advice: You won't lose her friendship in your time of needs, but don't expect a relationship out of it because she said she didn't want to send mix messages.

 

Solid advice. If I didn't know any better, I'd think this was some alt of mine posting.

There is actually a possibility (considering your ages) that you might actually form a fruitful relationship in the future (be it romantic or genuine freind) but it will not happen unless you cut it off for the time being.

The cool thing about cutting her off and moving on is you actually put the ball back in your court....if younever hear from her again...fine. And if on the chance some future contact starts up from her end...you have the option on how to act. When you tuck the sack back and react to her, it will be failure.

 

So I guess the general advice is to let go....I really, really don't want to leave it where it is now. When I confronted her we did talk about we each felt, but not real sure how well it soaked in. Maybe I'll give it a few more days and drop her an email to tell her how I feel and when she's ready to talk again as friends then she can contact me.

I don't want her to think that I don't care that we don't talk, cause in the past she always got mad at me for not taking the intiative for fixing things.

Thanks for all the advice!!!

 

BE A MAN! DO NOT EMAIL! Talk to her in person and if you can't see her, talk on the phone..voice is better than text

 

Good advice here. Her expectation for you to always take the initiative to fix things, is unreasonable, as well.

 

I want to talk to her in person too, but I was thinking I was going to drop her an email so that whenever she's ready to read it then she can.

Typically in the past we talked in person or over the phone, but every so often we would email each other whenever we wanted to tell each other something without being interrupted. For me at least, it allows me to gather all my thoughts and make sure I present them all without forgetting them.

I guess for soemthing as important as this I should make a list?

 

isay just drop it and move on.. no emails, calls, visits untill she makes the first move.. things have been strange becuase she is most likely dating someone else now, and us affriad of how you will react when yyou find out.. just let her be. focus on school and hook up with some hot girls in some of your classes.. thats just my