Do I have a right to be frustrated?
03-26-2009, 03:39 PM
#1
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Do I have a right to be frustrated?
So I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now. Things have been going really good and we seem to get along really well. We have a lot in common and we tend to really enjoy each other.
One problem. Nobody knows. She for whatever reason refuses to tell anyone. She doesn't want my or her friends knowing, family etc. At first I said okay fine I understand since we are just dating but lately its been more serious. She is now starting to refer to me as her boyfriend and me calling her my girlfriend. Yet for whatever reason it has to be in secret. How much longer should I put up with this? Shes really great but lately I have been thinking maybe she is hiding something?
One problem. Nobody knows. She for whatever reason refuses to tell anyone. She doesn't want my or her friends knowing, family etc. At first I said okay fine I understand since we are just dating but lately its been more serious. She is now starting to refer to me as her boyfriend and me calling her my girlfriend. Yet for whatever reason it has to be in secret. How much longer should I put up with this? Shes really great but lately I have been thinking maybe she is hiding something?
03-26-2009, 03:45 PM
#3
Q('.')=O
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That is awkward. Maybe she doesn't want anyone to know because she plans to kill you and doesn't want any link back to her?
Yea I'd be like 'whytehfuknot tell neone?' WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO HIDE??? :hmm
Yea I'd be like 'whytehfuknot tell neone?' WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO HIDE??? :hmm
03-26-2009, 04:04 PM
#9
Q('.')=O
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Yea I wouldn't drop her just like that. I would first ask her seriously, wtf are you hiding? why can't i tell anyone we are dating? if she says she has like the herp and chlamydia and stuff then drop her. but yea first ask her wtf is up.
03-26-2009, 04:06 PM
#11
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I would say if "break up" with her to see if that changes her mind. There should be no reason why unless its something that she doesn't want her family to know.
03-26-2009, 04:20 PM
#14
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Women are sneaky like that. Gotta figure if she's doing it to you, she could possibly be doing it to others. You should change your facebook status and see if she confirms the relationship. If she's still shady about it, keep her on the back burner and move on.
03-26-2009, 04:23 PM
#15
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She actually specifically said she didnt want me to change my status yet. I have yet to actually try asking her though.
03-26-2009, 04:29 PM
#16
Burning Brakes
it's evident that she doesn't wish to be seen as committed to you yet. either it's too early (and 3 weeks is somewhat premature IMO) or she has a harem of mens she is using in the same way....
03-26-2009, 04:32 PM
#17
It could be she has absolutely nothing to hide, but is somewhat afraid of the relationship itself. Perhaps if others are aware that you and she are dating, she sees this as some sort of commitment. Maybe she was involved in a prior relationship that didn't end well, and has concerns about becoming involved again.
Personally I would continue to see her if you think you both have mutual feelings for each other, and don't pressure her to make others aware of your relationship. Discuss it with her in time, and then perhaps she will let you know her reasoning.
Terry
Personally I would continue to see her if you think you both have mutual feelings for each other, and don't pressure her to make others aware of your relationship. Discuss it with her in time, and then perhaps she will let you know her reasoning.
Terry
03-26-2009, 04:38 PM
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It could be she has absolutely nothing to hide, but is somewhat afraid of the relationship itself. Perhaps if others are aware that you and she are dating, she sees this as some sort of commitment. Maybe she was involved in a prior relationship that didn't end well, and has concerns about becoming involved again.
Personally I would continue to see her if you think you both have mutual feelings for each other, and don't pressure to make others aware of your relationship. Discuss it with her in time, and then perhaps she will let you know her reasoning.
Terry
Personally I would continue to see her if you think you both have mutual feelings for each other, and don't pressure to make others aware of your relationship. Discuss it with her in time, and then perhaps she will let you know her reasoning.
Terry
I just hate having to tip toe around the whole thing.
03-26-2009, 04:59 PM
#19
My Garage
I think you guys might be onto something. I am going to see her maybe friday and absolutely on Saturday night. So I will try and see what she says. I know she said she broke up with her last boyfriend because he transferred schools. I will see what I can get out of her this weekend.
I just hate having to tip toe around the whole thing.
I just hate having to tip toe around the whole thing.
03-26-2009, 06:02 PM
#20
contrarian in fashion
x2 on her having another man.
she doesnt want anyone else to know because if word gets out about you 2 then the other will find out. you, my friend, are the man on the side.
she doesnt want anyone else to know because if word gets out about you 2 then the other will find out. you, my friend, are the man on the side.
03-26-2009, 07:27 PM
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I think you guys might be onto something. I am going to see her maybe friday and absolutely on Saturday night. So I will try and see what she says. I know she said she broke up with her last boyfriend because he transferred schools. I will see what I can get out of her this weekend.
I just hate having to tip toe around the whole thing.
I just hate having to tip toe around the whole thing.
03-26-2009, 08:18 PM
#23
Team Owner
Did you hit it yet?
03-26-2009, 09:10 PM
#25
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She is probably still communicating with the other bf, too. Just changing schools doesn't equal, a breakup (from the standpoint of emotions and such).
She's still unsure what to do. whether she should completely move on from the other guy and cling to you, or just stay in the middle, or go back for the other guy when situations permit.
She's still unsure what to do. whether she should completely move on from the other guy and cling to you, or just stay in the middle, or go back for the other guy when situations permit.
03-26-2009, 09:18 PM
#26
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No which is one of the reasons I dont think I am the other guy. Normally the other guys are for sex. Unless I am the normal guy and there's another guy for sex.
I was surprised it took this long. I need to figure out how to get my blackberry hooked up to the computer. She is probably still communicating with the other bf, too. Just changing schools doesn't equal, a breakup (from the standpoint of emotions and such).
She's still unsure what to do. whether she should completely move on from the other guy and cling to you, or just stay in the middle, or go back for the other guy when situations permit.
She's still unsure what to do. whether she should completely move on from the other guy and cling to you, or just stay in the middle, or go back for the other guy when situations permit.
03-27-2009, 01:45 AM
#27
Honestly, why would anyone need to know? It's only been three weeks and you want everyone to know? Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.
I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
03-27-2009, 08:31 AM
#28
Suzuka Master
Honestly, why would anyone need to know? It's only been three weeks and you want everyone to know? Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.
I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
X2 on the high school drama, 3 weeks is nothing when your done growed up.
Maybe she is just more mature than you?
03-27-2009, 09:18 AM
#29
What Would Don Draper Do?
as usual, what terry said.
it's only been 3 weeks. there could be a number of reasons why.
i think it'd be natural to be frustrated, and i can understand that. just ask her about it. maybe she just wants to take it slowly, which is good for you or anyone, in my opinion.
it's only been 3 weeks. there could be a number of reasons why.
i think it'd be natural to be frustrated, and i can understand that. just ask her about it. maybe she just wants to take it slowly, which is good for you or anyone, in my opinion.
03-27-2009, 09:22 AM
#30
Oliver!!!
I'd ask her about it point blank and see what she says. I'm not saying that it needs to be announced that you're seeing each other, just not hidden. Its a bit dishonest to your friends to tell them you're single when you're not, isn't it?
03-27-2009, 09:24 AM
#31
Go Giants
She's a man, man...
03-27-2009, 09:48 AM
#32
Honestly, why would anyone need to know? It's only been three weeks and you want everyone to know? Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.
I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
as usual, what terry said.
it's only been 3 weeks. there could be a number of reasons why.
i think it'd be natural to be frustrated, and i can understand that. just ask her about it. maybe she just wants to take it slowly, which is good for you or anyone, in my opinion.
it's only been 3 weeks. there could be a number of reasons why.
i think it'd be natural to be frustrated, and i can understand that. just ask her about it. maybe she just wants to take it slowly, which is good for you or anyone, in my opinion.
After about 3 months you should start being suspicious. If she doesnt want anyone to know thats beneficial to you because you can still see other women and claim to be single. Technically keeping them on the backburner if all falls thru with this one. Also Im sure if started to see other women writing on your fbook she'd want to claim you. Women want what other women want.
03-27-2009, 09:51 AM
#35
What Would Don Draper Do?
when my gf and i started dating, we kept it on the low for a few weeks. just because we were trying to get to know each other and make sure it was something we both wanted to pursue.
heck, i remember her telling me several times "we're not bf/gf yet" and thinking wtf is the difference? but we were taking it slowly, and looking back, it was smart.
heck, i remember her telling me several times "we're not bf/gf yet" and thinking wtf is the difference? but we were taking it slowly, and looking back, it was smart.
03-27-2009, 11:58 AM
#37
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I kept a secret relationship from my parents and it was that much worse when I finally told them. If you 2 are good together, there's no way you can keep if from your friends, and I cetainly wouldn't keep from family. Ask her straight out why it needs to be a secret, then decide from there
03-27-2009, 02:39 PM
#38
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03-27-2009, 02:49 PM
#39
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Honestly, why would anyone need to know? It's only been three weeks and you want everyone to know? Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.
I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.
After about 3 months you should start being suspicious. If she doesnt want anyone to know thats beneficial to you because you can still see other women and claim to be single. Technically keeping them on the backburner if all falls thru with this one. Also Im sure if started to see other women writing on your fbook she'd want to claim you. Women want what other women want.
I will see her maybe tonight and diffidently tomorrow. Poor dope. 
03-27-2009, 04:10 PM
#40
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Your girl makes absolutely no sense.