So I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now. Things have been going really good and we seem to get along really well. We have a lot in common and we tend to really enjoy each other.

One problem. Nobody knows. She for whatever reason refuses to tell anyone. She doesn't want my or her friends knowing, family etc. At first I said okay fine I understand since we are just dating but lately its been more serious. She is now starting to refer to me as her boyfriend and me calling her my girlfriend. Yet for whatever reason it has to be in secret. How much longer should I put up with this? Shes really great but lately I have been thinking maybe she is hiding something?

 

Could be a number of reasons...

Personally, I think she is just not that into you.

 

That is awkward. Maybe she doesn't want anyone to know because she plans to kill you and doesn't want any link back to her?

Yea I'd be like 'whytehfuknot tell neone?' WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO HIDE??? :hmm

 

very weird. she's hiding something

 

So it seems the consensuses is drop her?

 

She's ashamed of you and what you represent.

 

i'd find out what her deal is and then decide if you should drop her

 

I thought that could be an issue as well.

 

Yea I wouldn't drop her just like that. I would first ask her seriously, wtf are you hiding? why can't i tell anyone we are dating? if she says she has like the herp and chlamydia and stuff then drop her. but yea first ask her wtf is up.

 

She has another boyfriend...

 

I would say if "break up" with her to see if that changes her mind. There should be no reason why unless its something that she doesn't want her family to know.

 

If she has another boyfriend I think shes hiding him as well. Her facebook says single so he would have to be in the same spot as me.

 

weird man, definately call her out..

 

Women are sneaky like that. Gotta figure if she's doing it to you, she could possibly be doing it to others. You should change your facebook status and see if she confirms the relationship. If she's still shady about it, keep her on the back burner and move on.

 

She actually specifically said she didnt want me to change my status yet. I have yet to actually try asking her though.

 

it's evident that she doesn't wish to be seen as committed to you yet. either it's too early (and 3 weeks is somewhat premature IMO) or she has a harem of mens she is using in the same way....

 

It could be she has absolutely nothing to hide, but is somewhat afraid of the relationship itself. Perhaps if others are aware that you and she are dating, she sees this as some sort of commitment. Maybe she was involved in a prior relationship that didn't end well, and has concerns about becoming involved again.

Personally I would continue to see her if you think you both have mutual feelings for each other, and don't pressure her to make others aware of your relationship. Discuss it with her in time, and then perhaps she will let you know her reasoning.


Terry

 

I think you guys might be onto something. I am going to see her maybe friday and absolutely on Saturday night. So I will try and see what she says. I know she said she broke up with her last boyfriend because he transferred schools. I will see what I can get out of her this weekend.

I just hate having to tip toe around the whole thing.

 

She probably isn't over him. Non-emotion based breakups means they probably still have feelings for each other upon which they cannot act. She probably isn't over him and doesn't want to end that chapter in her life by starting a new one with you just yet. Time will tell.

 

x2 on her having another man.

she doesnt want anyone else to know because if word gets out about you 2 then the other will find out. you, my friend, are the man on the side.

 

Maybe she has a psycho ex and doesn't want you killed


But seriously...did you try just asking her why??

 

so just man up and let her know how u feel and see what she says. dont need to be asking the forums, u shouldve already knew what we were gonna say

 

Did you hit it yet?

 

ok fine, since noone else has said it yet....Pics so we can have a better idea of what were dealing with?

 

She is probably still communicating with the other bf, too. Just changing schools doesn't equal, a breakup (from the standpoint of emotions and such).

She's still unsure what to do. whether she should completely move on from the other guy and cling to you, or just stay in the middle, or go back for the other guy when situations permit.

 

See I have asked her before. She normally reponsds with "I just think until we are more serious we should keep it this way." or something like " We are happy this way no need to change it yet." I have been afraid of pushing too hard but I plan on it this weekend when I see her.

No which is one of the reasons I dont think I am the other guy. Normally the other guys are for sex. Unless I am the normal guy and there's another guy for sex.

I was surprised it took this long. I need to figure out how to get my blackberry hooked up to the computer.

I really hope not but if that's true I guess its better to find out now than later.

 

Honestly, why would anyone need to know? It's only been three weeks and you want everyone to know? Slow down, it hasn't even been a month. If there's nothing wrong with the relationship then why bring it up... that's high school.

I didn't run home and tell my parents why I was officially dating my girlfriend. Heck, they didn't find out until a few months later.

 

X2 on the high school drama, 3 weeks is nothing when your done growed up.
Maybe she is just more mature than you?

 

as usual, what terry said.

it's only been 3 weeks. there could be a number of reasons why.

i think it'd be natural to be frustrated, and i can understand that. just ask her about it. maybe she just wants to take it slowly, which is good for you or anyone, in my opinion.

 

I'd ask her about it point blank and see what she says. I'm not saying that it needs to be announced that you're seeing each other, just not hidden. Its a bit dishonest to your friends to tell them you're single when you're not, isn't it?

 

She's a man, man...

 

After about 3 months you should start being suspicious. If she doesnt want anyone to know thats beneficial to you because you can still see other women and claim to be single. Technically keeping them on the backburner if all falls thru with this one. Also Im sure if started to see other women writing on your fbook she'd want to claim you. Women want what other women want.

 

@ the Facebook being the official place to confirm relationship status.

Divorce just got a whole lot cheaper.

 

 

when my gf and i started dating, we kept it on the low for a few weeks. just because we were trying to get to know each other and make sure it was something we both wanted to pursue.

heck, i remember her telling me several times "we're not bf/gf yet" and thinking wtf is the difference? but we were taking it slowly, and looking back, it was smart.

 

soooooo any update? did you ask her? plz dont turn into a dope thread lol

 

I kept a secret relationship from my parents and it was that much worse when I finally told them. If you 2 are good together, there's no way you can keep if from your friends, and I cetainly wouldn't keep from family. Ask her straight out why it needs to be a secret, then decide from there

 

Maybe she's going to break up with secret boyfriend soon but hasn't gotten around to it?

 

I really dont care that I cant tell anyone. Hell I have told a couple friends anyway to get her opinion. Its just I really hate how I am not really even supposed to approach her if I see her in public. I know its really hard to describe but its just the attitude behind the whole thing. As far as keeping it from her parents I really dont know much about them. I am going to have to find out more about them.

Its hasnt even been 24 hours. I will see her maybe tonight and diffidently tomorrow. Poor dope.

From what I understand is shes telling her friends shes single. Of course I never talk to them so I cant really confirm that.

 

Your girl makes absolutely no sense.