Dating out of my "league"
#81
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Better Neighborhood, Arizona
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I'm in for a PM, why not? It's Friday.
#83
Go Giants
stupid family vacation...
#85
2016 Acura TLX
#87
Team Owner
#89
Turd Polisher
iTrader: (1)
Wow, a Dating & Relationship thread that actually pulled through with pics!
Good work!
Good work!
#91
Turd Polisher
iTrader: (1)
^ She must be a stripper with a fan page on Facebook?
#93
Your Friendly Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2007
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#94
Drifting
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Stockton, California
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Well the first date went awesome, all 21 hours of it. And the best part, we didn't even kiss, and I'm perfectly ok having to wait because this girl is absolutely amazing, I've never had someone who I got along with quite so well.
#95
Your Friendly Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2007
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21 hours What did you guys do?
Congrats though, sounds like a perfect date.
So... would that be considered a success? Because you said...
Congrats though, sounds like a perfect date.
So... would that be considered a success? Because you said...
#96
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
21 hours and no kiss.. puahahahaha!!
Friend Zone
Friend Zone
#98
no girl is out of your leauge. if you project confidence and can make her smile/laugh...you've already won. it's not all about looks or money or what category you're in. i've seen some of the ugliest/dorkiest guys with the hottest A-list women. they're together because he treats her right, makes her laugh, and they have a good time together.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
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#103
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#106
Senior Moderator
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
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21 hrs?
#107
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
Moar pics!!!!!!
#108
Oliver!!!
Damn you and your underlining! I thought that was a link for a second.
Anyway, congrats! Sounds like it went pretty well. Hope the flame doesn't blow out before the 5th date, which could be by the end of the week...... I'm just sayin'
Anyway, congrats! Sounds like it went pretty well. Hope the flame doesn't blow out before the 5th date, which could be by the end of the week...... I'm just sayin'
#109
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
#110
Boy I miss this section of the forum. Lots of silly advice abounds.
Sorry, that's nonsense. There are girls with way more options than some guys could ever compete with. That's just a reality, just like there are several guys with options that are so hot, they would rarely dumpster dive for fattys.
Confidence only works, in the medium to long term, if it's genuine. You can fool a girl for a little while, if she's an idiot or you're slick, but if you don't project genuine confidence (and you don't seem to be), then relying on shallow cockyness is only going to get you so far before she figures you out. And by the way, she will be trying to figure you out, girls do this without thought, it's built into their DNA and socialization further develops the skills. The key is to give her as little bit of that "bad stuff" as you can before laying the pipe down. Don't talk about yourself so much, ask her questions so that she can ramble on, and pick up on key points that you can follow up on with more questions (this is rapport building). Eventually, if you do it right, she'll think you're interesting (because she's talking about herself, confusing I know but don't think too much about it).
This is fairy tale stuff. Very rarely is an ugly, poor guy with an attractive girl because he's got a fair sense of humor, is a gentleman, or he's a great mini-golfer. Attractive girls, especially the younger ones, are absolutely bored by this type of behavior. Sense of humor is important, but not if your sense of humor is 100% dick jokes, although throwing out some good one liners definitely gives you an edge. Conversely, if your jokes are all about silly kid stuff, like cartoons, you won't win points that way either. Projecting the "cool, relaxed, confident, funny guy" image is really more about your internal state that a series of tricks or tips, but it's a longer term project. Being absolutely outcome-dependent, for this one girl, is what will cause you to stammer, stumble, sweat, and become frustrated if you don't simply keep up whatever illusion you feel you need to project and then protect.
I agree with this sentiment, but keep in mind that, his self-conscious / self-esteem is what is driving those questions. You can tell a lot by the fact that he's already looking at this girl from the perspective of her being out of his league that he will thinking about all of the "what-ifs". He's probably already jacked off to her sucking his dick or whatever, and she may be thinking it's just some casual date. Again, this is outcome-dependent behavior. This is what dooms guys into making fatal errors, their desperation comes through, and it kills any sort of sexual attraction she may have had. This is why it's important to get a TON of experience under your belt, primarily because having options is the best way to manage, internally, all of these concerns.
That's good advice, but don't get bombed and make a fool out of yourself. Let her get as drunk as she wants, but don't lose control, and definitely don't drink and drive.
Sorry, that's nonsense. There are girls with way more options than some guys could ever compete with. That's just a reality, just like there are several guys with options that are so hot, they would rarely dumpster dive for fattys.
if you project confidence and can make her smile/laugh...you've already won.
it's not all about looks or money or what category you're in. i've seen some of the ugliest/dorkiest guys with the hottest A-list women. they're together because he treats her right, makes her laugh, and they have a good time together.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
#111
Your first date shouldn't have been dinner to begin with, that should be reserved for girls you're already having sex with. But it was scheduled so I didn't offer any advice to the contrary.
Now that the date is over though, an analysis is in order.
You don't want to spend 21 hours on your first date together because 1.) it sets up the false pretense that you don't have better shit to do 2.) it sets up the idea that you do not control the dynamic 3.) her hamster brain works best with intermittent doses of you, spread across time away from you 4.) and in this case, you resigned to spending time with her without any sort of sexual contact
What you have here is the potential for the friend-zone, if that's not already a foregone conclusion.
#112
SHE made the decision not to fuck you until the fifth date, you just agreed.
The sad part is that if she felt that there was any way you might lose interest in her and find someone else before then, she wouldn't put that out there. She's confident you're not going anywhere, and you're probably not very exciting to her as a consequence.
She might use you for a casual fuck, because she thinks you're cute, but you're emotionally involved already and I don't see this ending well.
I suggest you try to make her jealous ASAP, you need to change the power dynamic into your favor.
This all probably sounds ridiculous to you but believe me there's a method in the madness.
#114
Your Friendly Canadian
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I think you've made a few mistakes:
1.Thinking that people have to "fake" confidence long-term. You don't think positive reactions boost confidence? This is of course, assuming that it's fake to begin with. OP seemed to do fine and had a good time.
2. Assuming all good-looking girls have the same preferences/personalities.
3. Ignoring the fact that she also wanted to spend 21 hours with him. It wasn't a one-way thing.
IMO your advice is good for getting action, but I don't think it would work in a relationship. How can you think a girl will catch on to ingenuine confidence, but not on to a sudden change of behaviour, because he would try to make her jealous or change some mysterious power dynamic? What if they just had a good time with each other?
1.Thinking that people have to "fake" confidence long-term. You don't think positive reactions boost confidence? This is of course, assuming that it's fake to begin with. OP seemed to do fine and had a good time.
2. Assuming all good-looking girls have the same preferences/personalities.
3. Ignoring the fact that she also wanted to spend 21 hours with him. It wasn't a one-way thing.
IMO your advice is good for getting action, but I don't think it would work in a relationship. How can you think a girl will catch on to ingenuine confidence, but not on to a sudden change of behaviour, because he would try to make her jealous or change some mysterious power dynamic? What if they just had a good time with each other?
#115
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
Here's what you do.
1. Push her to the ground.
2. Stick a funnel in her butt.
3. Pee in her but.
1. Push her to the ground.
2. Stick a funnel in her butt.
3. Pee in her but.
#116
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Mis..
#118
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
#119
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Maker..
#120
I personally don't agree that his input indicates he is a very confident person, and he probably doesn't have a lot of experience, that part is normal given his age, but to tell him that he just needs to be confident is not the best advice. Confidence is attractive because it's not very common, at least when it comes to women, and it's mostly attractive because of what it tells a woman about him.
2. Assuming all good-looking girls have the same preferences/personalities.
3. Ignoring the fact that she also wanted to spend 21 hours with him. It wasn't a one-way thing.
IMO your advice is good for getting action, but I don't think it would work in a relationship. How can you think a girl will catch on to ingenuine confidence, but not on to a sudden change of behaviour, because he would try to make her jealous or change some mysterious power dynamic? What if they just had a good time with each other?
You don't address how a man deals with women only based on one girl. You build on multiple experiences. It's about breaking bad habits.
If they "had a good time together", that's fine, but that statement doesn't define or even attempt to describe the psychology of the encounter, and what is best in terms of getting laid and escalating the relationship after the fact. Because guess what, unless they're Mormon/Muslim/Orthodox Jews, they will never be BF/GF until they fuck first. And believe me, she's either a tease or she likes to fuck, regardless she's showing off her body like that because it draws male interest and attention, that part is obvious. Plus her jaw is fairly masculine, which leads me to believe that she has heightened levels of testosterone, and that's typical of girls who like to fuck without much commitment.