Dating out of my "league"
05-22-2012, 01:21 AM
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Dating out of my "league"
Hey guys, just need some quick advice. A friend from high school has agreed to a date this Saturday, which quite frankly caught me off guard. I just got out of a 14 month relationship about a month ago and as such have been desperately trying to move on. The only problem is this girl is an absolute stunner, by far one of the most attractive girls I've ever personally met. How do I make sure she wants a second date? I am really attracted to her and the fact that we will be doing drinks and sushi amazes me, although I don't want to come across as over the top as far as making a good impression...
05-22-2012, 01:23 AM
#2
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Be normal. Be cool. Be yourself.
If the conversation is going somewhat well, maybe bring up how nervous you were. Call it an icebreaker. Just don't overdo anything
If the conversation is going somewhat well, maybe bring up how nervous you were. Call it an icebreaker. Just don't overdo anything
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05-22-2012, 07:04 AM
#6
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Ill need the borderline NSFW pics for better advice.
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05-22-2012, 07:46 AM
#8
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no girl is out of your leauge. if you project confidence and can make her smile/laugh...you've already won. it's not all about looks or money or what category you're in. i've seen some of the ugliest/dorkiest guys with the hottest A-list women. they're together because he treats her right, makes her laugh, and they have a good time together.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
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05-22-2012, 08:16 AM
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Just be glad that she agreed to go out with you and don't try too hard, just be yourself.no girl is out of your leauge. if you project confidence and can make her smile/laugh...you've already won. it's not all about looks or money or what category you're in. i've seen some of the ugliest/dorkiest guys with the hottest A-list women. they're together because he treats her right, makes her laugh, and they have a good time together.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
05-22-2012, 08:42 AM
#10
This.
This.
This.
This.
OP, be confident, chicks love confidence.
no girl is out of your leauge. if you project confidence and can make her smile/laugh...you've already won. it's not all about looks or money or what category you're in. i've seen some of the ugliest/dorkiest guys with the hottest A-list women. they're together because he treats her right, makes her laugh, and they have a good time together.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
don't go into the date thinking about all the "what-if's"...just be yourself and have a good time. don't try so hard.
suggest some sushi that you like that she may have not tried, do some saki bombs, have fun. you know this girl from high school, so you already have a boat load of conversation starters right there.
good luck.
OP, be confident, chicks love confidence.
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05-22-2012, 09:04 AM
#13
Dear Quasimodo,
Break the ice with a joke at your expense, laugh, have fun, eat, drink, and then go do something funky or just take a nice stroll.
If the connection is not there, you'd know. Just have effen fun, will you? Damn.
Break the ice with a joke at your expense, laugh, have fun, eat, drink, and then go do something funky or just take a nice stroll.
If the connection is not there, you'd know. Just have effen fun, will you? Damn.
05-22-2012, 09:26 AM
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05-22-2012, 09:31 AM
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05-22-2012, 09:41 AM
#16
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Amazing. I'd probably go in seizures and convulsions and spasms just looking in her general direction.
Yeah -- the way you opened up this topic... puts you at an extreme risk of failure. Stop fricking thinking what YOU think and worry about what SHE feels. And what I mean by that is: if you come off as not at or above her level, especially by telling her you are nervous or telling her she is out of your league (you may think it's a compliment but it is just dumb) you will systematically turn all of HER attraction circuits off. Girls are genetically programmed to be attracted to someone who is above their level, thus the "asshole" gets her -- because he isn't afraid to lose her because he can easily replace her, so he treats her as if she is easily replaceable, which triggers her circuits of attraction "oh this guy is a level above me because he can afford to lose me because he must have options" (this is all at a subconscious automatic level)
Try to let out your personality, be fearless, joke without caring if it causes her to frown from time to time from being too over-the-top (thus showing you are not beneath her worshipping), and above all act like it is normal and obvious that a girl of her level is out with you
Yeah -- the way you opened up this topic... puts you at an extreme risk of failure. Stop fricking thinking what YOU think and worry about what SHE feels. And what I mean by that is: if you come off as not at or above her level, especially by telling her you are nervous or telling her she is out of your league (you may think it's a compliment but it is just dumb) you will systematically turn all of HER attraction circuits off. Girls are genetically programmed to be attracted to someone who is above their level, thus the "asshole" gets her -- because he isn't afraid to lose her because he can easily replace her, so he treats her as if she is easily replaceable, which triggers her circuits of attraction "oh this guy is a level above me because he can afford to lose me because he must have options" (this is all at a subconscious automatic level)
Try to let out your personality, be fearless, joke without caring if it causes her to frown from time to time from being too over-the-top (thus showing you are not beneath her worshipping), and above all act like it is normal and obvious that a girl of her level is out with you
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05-22-2012, 09:58 AM
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I'm sure once you both have had a couple you'll loosen up and be fine. Nothing to worry about.
05-22-2012, 10:07 AM
#20
heres what you do, its simple. get in the mindset that its her privilege to go on a date with you, not yours. you just got out of a 14 month relationship, she should be grateful you're giving her the time of day. be yourself, smile, look at her dead in her eyes, give her signs of interest without touching her. do subtle chivalrous acts. talk more about her than you. if you can think and act like that you're set
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05-22-2012, 10:16 AM
#21
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heres what you do, its simple. get in the mindset that its her privilege to go on a date with you, not yours. you just got out of a 14 month relationship, she should be grateful you're giving her the time of day. be yourself, smile, look at her dead in her eyes, give her signs of interest without touching her. do subtle chivalrous acts. talk more about her than you. if you can think and act like that you're set
also -- if you havent already done so...make a chivalrous "play" that you will pick her up. you could get her more drunk, and you will have the sanctuary of the car to potentially fool around. if sushi -- do sake bombs.
05-22-2012, 10:54 AM
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Amazing. I'd probably go in seizures and convulsions and spasms just looking in her general direction.
Yeah -- the way you opened up this topic... puts you at an extreme risk of failure. Stop fricking thinking what YOU think and worry about what SHE feels. And what I mean by that is: if you come off as not at or above her level, especially by telling her you are nervous or telling her she is out of your league (you may think it's a compliment but it is just dumb) you will systematically turn all of HER attraction circuits off. Girls are genetically programmed to be attracted to someone who is above their level, thus the "asshole" gets her -- because he isn't afraid to lose her because he can easily replace her, so he treats her as if she is easily replaceable, which triggers her circuits of attraction "oh this guy is a level above me because he can afford to lose me because he must have options" (this is all at a subconscious automatic level)
Try to let out your personality, be fearless, joke without caring if it causes her to frown from time to time from being too over-the-top (thus showing you are not beneath her worshipping), and above all act like it is normal and obvious that a girl of her level is out with you
Yeah -- the way you opened up this topic... puts you at an extreme risk of failure. Stop fricking thinking what YOU think and worry about what SHE feels. And what I mean by that is: if you come off as not at or above her level, especially by telling her you are nervous or telling her she is out of your league (you may think it's a compliment but it is just dumb) you will systematically turn all of HER attraction circuits off. Girls are genetically programmed to be attracted to someone who is above their level, thus the "asshole" gets her -- because he isn't afraid to lose her because he can easily replace her, so he treats her as if she is easily replaceable, which triggers her circuits of attraction "oh this guy is a level above me because he can afford to lose me because he must have options" (this is all at a subconscious automatic level)
Try to let out your personality, be fearless, joke without caring if it causes her to frown from time to time from being too over-the-top (thus showing you are not beneath her worshipping), and above all act like it is normal and obvious that a girl of her level is out with you
05-22-2012, 11:04 AM
#23
Eh I don't believe that girls are "genetically programmed" is even remotely true. Just like anyone, men and girls like each other more if they were more in the middle. They're to many guys that are passive and worried while they're some guys that are aggressive and reckless. Either one works well one night, but not the other. The best advice is to always be balanced and in the middle in everything.
Never EVER think you're not good enough for ANYONE. Believing that is preposterous and not good for your self-esteem in (any) future relationships (let alone your life).
Never EVER think you're not good enough for ANYONE. Believing that is preposterous and not good for your self-esteem in (any) future relationships (let alone your life).
05-22-2012, 11:16 AM
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^ And don't slash anyone's tires on your date
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05-22-2012, 11:35 AM
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05-22-2012, 12:28 PM
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Like the others said, relax and be yourself. Show some confidence and don't think of her as out of your league. Maybe grab a beer with buddies before leaving to take the edge of but keep it to A beer. Don't show up drunk and make sure to pop a piece of gum in.
RELAX
RELAX
05-22-2012, 12:45 PM
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Last girl I dated I definitely thought was out of my league, turns out, I'm out of hers 
05-22-2012, 01:04 PM
#28
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All I can say is... if you want to be informed of what I am very confident is the truth, you ought to google "attraction is not a choice" one day. It's not like it doesn't apply to men just as well (genetic programming) it's just that we have different cues. Physical appearance and reproductive value (youth) which can be evaluated almost instantaneously -- while a woman is more based on survival value, which takes longer to evaluate (to prevent liars that pretend they are wealth etc., to observe actual social status rather than take a guy's word for it that he is a leader of men etc.)
Eh I don't believe that girls are "genetically programmed" is even remotely true. Just like anyone, men and girls like each other more if they were more in the middle. They're to many guys that are passive and worried while they're some guys that are aggressive and reckless. Either one works well one night, but not the other. The best advice is to always be balanced and in the middle in everything.
Never EVER think you're not good enough for ANYONE. Believing that is preposterous and not good for your self-esteem in (any) future relationships (let alone your life).
Never EVER think you're not good enough for ANYONE. Believing that is preposterous and not good for your self-esteem in (any) future relationships (let alone your life).
05-22-2012, 01:06 PM
#30
Pro
Arousal tip:
Invite her into your house. When she gets in, shut the door behind her, then grab her by the neck and slam her into the back of the door. Begin make-out. Works great!! Remember fear and excitement are the same emotion, as soon as you release her neck and she realizes you won't butcher her, the fear transmutes into arousal
Invite her into your house. When she gets in, shut the door behind her, then grab her by the neck and slam her into the back of the door. Begin make-out. Works great!! Remember fear and excitement are the same emotion, as soon as you release her neck and she realizes you won't butcher her, the fear transmutes into arousal
Last edited by parasitius; 05-22-2012 at 01:07 PM. Reason: big typo
05-22-2012, 01:16 PM
#31
Hey guys, just need some quick advice. A friend from high school has agreed to a date this Saturday, which quite frankly caught me off guard. I just got out of a 14 month relationship about a month ago and as such have been desperately trying to move on. The only problem is this girl is an absolute stunner, by far one of the most attractive girls I've ever personally met. How do I make sure she wants a second date? I am really attracted to her and the fact that we will be doing drinks and sushi amazes me, although I don't want to come across as over the top as far as making a good impression...
Oh wait, she said she'd go out with you and you didn't do all the things I listed? Cool. Scratch all that nonsense. You can just be yourself.
Now about those NSFW pics
05-22-2012, 01:44 PM
#33
Now please tell me more about Hello Kitty in your avatar or point me to more pics
05-22-2012, 02:03 PM
#34
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Arousal tip:
Invite her into your house. When she gets in, shut the door behind her, then grab her by the neck and slam her into the back of the door. Begin make-out. Works great!! Remember fear and excitement are the same emotion, as soon as you release her neck and she realizes you won't butcher her, the fear transmutes into arousal
Invite her into your house. When she gets in, shut the door behind her, then grab her by the neck and slam her into the back of the door. Begin make-out. Works great!! Remember fear and excitement are the same emotion, as soon as you release her neck and she realizes you won't butcher her, the fear transmutes into arousal
Or you'll get a knee to the groin and the cops called on you...
05-22-2012, 02:39 PM
#38
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yolo
