1. You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
2. You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
3. Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
4. You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
5. You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
6. DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
7. Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
8. A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
9. Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.
10. The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
11. Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1".
12. You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
13. You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
14. You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
15. Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
16. Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
17. You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
18. You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
19. Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...
20. The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
21. You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
22. You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
23. You install clear corner and brake lights.
24. You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
25. You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
26. If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
27. You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
28. If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
29. Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
30. You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
31. You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
32. You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
33. If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
34. You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
35. You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
36. If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
37. If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
38. If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
39. If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.
40. Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive.
41. You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
42. MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
43. The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes.
44. If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
45. If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape.
46. If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a modified engine.
47. If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed.
48. You think pushrods are a bad thing
49. Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
50. You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that everytime you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
51. You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
52. If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
53. You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
54. If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand
55. If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
56. If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ...
57. If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
58. You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp.
59. You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment
60. You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
61. You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
62. If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators
63. If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
64. If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™
65. If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool
66. If you think colored head lights work better
67. Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON!
68. If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it.
69. You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.
70. You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.
71. You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
72. Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
73. after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
74. you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate."
75. you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into."
76. You have to park your car across the road from your house because theres a little bump in ur driveway
77. You use your neibors driveway because yours is stone

 

is that all?

 

Sounds like the person who wrote this was quite anti-import with mentions of pushrods, corvettes, and camaros/firebirds/mustangs.........

 

I could have sworn a kid in an base RSX in the lane beside me was doing this last week.

 

it's changed alittle bit from the original.

 

69. You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.

I've heard that one a few times.

 

 

70. You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.

This pretty much applies to everyone that tries to race their cl.

 

22. You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot

damn....i guess im a ricer

69. You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.

classic line...heard that plenty of times

 

46. If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a modified engine.


Impressive, not really. Impressed if i could get my f23 to that NA, hell ya!

 

The muscle-only kid that wrote this did a lame job.

 

meh, there coulda been more to the list, and less.

 

I can't believe I've wasted this much time in here...

 

That is just ghey.

 

34. You think the Del Sol is a sports car...

you mean its not?!?! shit ..

 

yea the person who wrote that has a shitty stereo

 

i liek these

 

I bet if you took out all of the repetative ones you could get this list down to about 40. Most of them are pretty gay and old... and I'm glad I stopped around # 35.

 

some of those shouldnt be on there, 1/10

 

that hits home with some friends of mine.

 

so i guess ur a ricer than. Jk