ACURA

Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead

AUDI

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW

Bavarian Money Waster

(Backwards) Waste My Bucks

Break My Wallet

Brings me women

Break my windows

BUICK

Built Using Inferior Car Knowledge

Butt Ugly Inefficient Chevy Knock-Off

CADILLAC

Certified As Detroit's Inadequate, Lumbering Luxury Auto Car

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

Competely Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

Cracks heads eats valves races only little electric trains

(CHEVY) Can't Have Expensive Vehicle Yet

Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

CHRYSLER

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair

DAEWOO

Da Awful Experience Was Owning One

Depreciation Always Eclipses Worst Of Others

DODGE

Dead On Day Guarantee Expires

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FERRARI

First Every Race Run, Always Really Incredible

FIAT

Fix It Again, Tony

Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD

Fixed Or Repaired Daily

Flips Over, Read Directions

First On Recall Day

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

Found on Road Dead

First on Race Day

Fouled out Rebuilt Dodge

Fucked on Race Day

Fucked over Rebuilt Dodge

Fun on Road Driving

For Old Redneck Dudes

(Backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

(Backwards) Don't Ride On Firestones

GM

General Malfunction

Generous Motors

Great Mistake

General Maintenance

Garbage Man

GMC

Got a Mechanic Coming?
Garage Man's Companion
General Motors Cashcow
Guaranteed Mechanical Calamity

GTO

Get Tools Out

Gas, Tires, oil

Garbage Truck Option

HONDA

Happy Owners Never Drive Angry

Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything

Happy Owners Never Doubt Acquisition

Had One, Never Did Again

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

INFINITI

It Never Found Its Niche, It's Truly Inconsequential

ISUZU

Is So Underpowered, Zooming Unlikely

JAGUAR

Just A Gorgeous, Underperforming Anglican Rip-Off

JEEP

Just Expect Endless Problems

Journey Eventually Ends Perpendicularly

Just Empty Every Pocket


KIA

Korea's Incompetence Amazing

LAND ROVER

Loud, Agonizing, Noisy Drive - Rattles On Virtually Every Road

LEXUS

Luxurious, Expensive, (a) Xenophile's Ultimate Score

LINCOLN

Large Income? No Class? Own Lincoln Now.

LOTUS

Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

MAZDA

Mismanages A Zillion Dollars Annually

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MERCEDES-BENZ

Mostly European Rich Can Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans, Beautifully Engineered, Notable Zippy

MERCURY

Most Engines Run, Contingent Upon Repair Yesterday

Mediocre Engine Revs Constantly, Really Yucky

MITSUBISHI

Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents

MOPAR

Mutilated Old Parts and Rubish
More Old Parts and Rust
Mostly Old Parts and Rust

NISSAN

No Inspired Styling, Still, Accelerates Nicely

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

Only Lemons Dealt & Sold, Misled Owners Bought Into Lousy Engineering

PLYMOUTH

Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

PONTIAC

Put On Notice To Improve A Car

Plenty Of Numbskulls Think It's A Cadillac

Product Overabundance Necessitates Traditional Incentive Application Constantly

PORSCHE

Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have 'Em

SAAB

Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Autos Always Breakdown
Sure Ain't A Bimmer


SATURN

Same American Trash Under Revised Name

Stickers Are Truly Unnegotiable, Rebates Nonexistent

SUBARU

Sport Utility Buffs Are Relatively Unimpressed

Sorta Useful, But Are Really Underpowered

SUZUKI

Samurai Upended, Zealous Underwriters Keep Insisting

TOYOTA

Truly Obvious You Overestimate This Automaker

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Automobile

VW

Virtually Worthless

Vice Wagon

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Very Old Loaf Ventricular Obstruction

 

hmm.. very creative.
some of those were pretty funny too.

 

Hahaha VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

So true.

 

Creative but every single one was something negative about the brand...

 

Those are great!

 

VW - Virtually Worthless

LOL

 

Not really..

FORD... Found On Road Dead

 

not really, someone needs to think of one to bash audi.

 

MITSUBISHI

Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents

 

Mopar = My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Mopar = Many Other Parts Are Required
Dodge = Dear Old Dad's Garden Equipment
Dodge = Dies On Day Gaurantee Ends
Alfa Romeo = Another Lousy Fucking Automobile Requiring Owner's Major Economic Output
Fiat = Failed Italian Automotive Transportation
(Chevrolet Camaro) IROC = I Reek Of Cologne
(Chevrolet Camaro) IROC = I Ran Out Of Cash
BMW = Bless my Warranty

I know a bunch of others but they will likely stir up a storm as they are less than politically correct

Jens

 

Last night I saw a Ford cabby engine blow up...water everywhere

 

This smells of repost...

 

 

I remember this from back in the day.... but, some are still funny regardless...

 

(Chevrolet Camaro) IROC = italian retard out cruising ( yes i'm italian)

i got some more, but are not politically correct at all.

 

BMW = Broke my wallet

 

AUDI
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.

 

Oh yeah, source: http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_454.htm

 

Hah, this one amused me...

PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

 

KIA = Killed In Accident