Up for sale is a beautiful princess cut 1.24 carat diamond ring. This ring will make your fiancee's friends go ape shit over how small and crappy their Walmart engagement ring looks compared to this one. I paid $5500 for it. I only want $3900 or will trade for something of equal value that I can use to pick up hot chicks with. No rusty camaros. Seriously. This ring comes with a warning. It will make your life great at first. You will get a lot more sex and maybe some of the dirty porn style sex you've been wanting to try but didn't know how to ask. Once you move in with the ring, it will turn into a total heartless, self loving, uncaring bitch. You will be blamed for it, but it won't be your fault. You will make it breakfast in bed and keep the lawn mowed. The ring will be lying in bed bitching because the mower is loud. You will take the ring on nice vacations where it will dress up in a hot mini skirt and those tall boots and eat great food and drink lots of expensive drinks, but at the end of the night, the ring will have a headache. The ring will also begin to have a period three weeks a month. I know, I don't get it either, but it's true. You will build the ring a half a million dollar house complete with a bar and home theater. The ring will wait until you are gone, then throw a party for a bunch of other rings that come over and spill wine on your shit. The ring will make you late for everything staring at its aging old ass in the mirror. Just when you are beat down and have no self confidence, the ring will stay out late with someone else's ring. They will talk about how shitty they have it living in a nice home with a caring, responsible, sexless partner then laugh and touch each others junk. Email me if you would like this ring to be a part of your life. I would like it out of mine. It comes with both a yellow gold or white gold band. Oh yeah, it is indecisive too. Good luck and best wishes!
P.S. I don't want to trade for anything. I could use the cash to get a hooker. A really good hooker. If I can't go through with the hooker thing, I might use it to buy back some self respect. Don't they sell that at Costco? Maybe Kirkland brand self respect. I'll stick with the hooker. I would trade for a Harley. I think chicks like Harleys. Or a GTO. Not one of the new crappy looking GTO's. The old ones. The ones that were made when satan was born as a woman.

I have the International Gemmological Information card (IGI) that comes with. It has a photo of the ring and the specifics....Color: Colorless(F), ClarityI(1) Pol/SYM Good/Good It shows replacement value at $6260 as of 12/13/2002.

Key words: bitch, diamond engagement ring, misery, princess cut, princess wife, wedding, glad I didn't buy her fake tits, white gold, cheater, yellow gold

Update: Thanks for the feedback. Yes, the ad is real and yes, I would like to sell this thing. I would consider a discount to someone willing to hook up with her for a short period of time. What I'm getting at is I left some stuff at the house I would kinda like back....a cordless drill battery (those things aren't cheap), a really comfortable lawn chair, my dvd collection consisting of Band of Brothers and Rick Steve's Europe (yeah, he's a pot head), and a grease gun. I know it isn't much, but if you were to see her for maybe a month, tops you could grab the stuff a little at a time. I don't care if you sit in my home theater chair without pants, I just don't want to hear about it. Make sure she pays every other time you take her out....tell her you forgot your wallet or something....maybe you are paying for some surgery for your cat. Tell her she's pretty whether you mean it or not....you know what to do.

For you guys out there in love who can't seem to pull the trigger....I get it. You were up late last night watching Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull thinking this thing has some bad ju-ju that a whip and a kick ass hat can't fix. This glittery wonderland has less of a bad thing going on than eating sushi from a gas station reach in cooler. If it makes you feel better, I'll go halfsies on a priest with exorcism experience or a gypsy woman with some magic dust.