Official Baseball Thread
01-10-2006, 06:13 PM
#642
Senior Moderator
Ok, the baseball hotstove has cooled off a little bit, but my little brother sent me this baseball joke:
A New York family of Yankees fans heads out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday present. While in the sports shop, the son picks up a Red Sox jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."
His big sister is outraged by this, promptly whacks him upside his head and says, "Go talk to mother!"
Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother.
"Mom?"
"Yes, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him on the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"
Off he goes with the Red Sox jersey in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?"
"Yes, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son in the back of his head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
Later they're all in the car heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today."
The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."
"Good, son, what is it?"
The son replies,
"I've only been a Red Sox fan for an hour, and I already hate you Yankee bastards."
A New York family of Yankees fans heads out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday present. While in the sports shop, the son picks up a Red Sox jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."
His big sister is outraged by this, promptly whacks him upside his head and says, "Go talk to mother!"
Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother.
"Mom?"
"Yes, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him on the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"
Off he goes with the Red Sox jersey in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?"
"Yes, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son in the back of his head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
Later they're all in the car heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today."
The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."
"Good, son, what is it?"
The son replies,
"I've only been a Red Sox fan for an hour, and I already hate you Yankee bastards."
01-10-2006, 10:29 PM
#644
101 years of heartache...
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i got one...
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Sox fan."
Then, asks the teacher, what are you?
"Why I'm proud to be a Chicago Cubs fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cubs fan.
"Well, My Dad and Mom are Cubs fans, and I'm a Cubs fan too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a drug dealer. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Sox fan."
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Sox fan."
Then, asks the teacher, what are you?
"Why I'm proud to be a Chicago Cubs fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cubs fan.
"Well, My Dad and Mom are Cubs fans, and I'm a Cubs fan too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a drug dealer. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Sox fan."
01-12-2006, 12:06 AM
#645
Senior Moderator
Tavarez goes to the BoSox...not a bad signing...prolly will be approved by the Massholes...
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
01-12-2006, 07:22 AM
#646
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Yumchah
prolly will be approved by the Massholes...
Don't be too quick with that... I think it's a good deal, but there are people who are going to mention Bellhorns HR in the WS (Tavarez had a great year in 2004, but he had difficulty with the sox) and the fact that the guy has some issues. Didn't he punch a wall and hurt his non-pitching hand ?? At least he wasn't as stupid as Kevin Brown who messed up his pitching hand punching a wall...
01-12-2006, 08:59 AM
#647
Originally Posted by GreenMonster
Don't be too quick with that... I think it's a good deal, but there are people who are going to mention Bellhorns HR in the WS (Tavarez had a great year in 2004, but he had difficulty with the sox) and the fact that the guy has some issues. Didn't he punch a wall and hurt his non-pitching hand ?? At least he wasn't as stupid as Kevin Brown who messed up his pitching hand punching a wall...
I was watching the game when he punched the dugout wall and all I could think of was what a shithead the guy was. He even looks like a douchebag. But hey, if he can pitch. 
01-12-2006, 09:11 AM
#651
Originally Posted by JimmyCarter
What the hell are we giving graffanino $2 million for? What's that gonna work out to, $200K a game
Graffanino is the man.
01-12-2006, 09:14 AM
#652
likes it raw
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Keep talking and we'll trade you to clublexus.com for a set of 'genuine' altezzas.
Graffanino is the man.
Graffanino is the man.
And he is the man, though I'm still smarting from Game 2 of the ALDS
01-12-2006, 09:37 AM
#653
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by mc_yanzo
Motha fucka looks like Freddy Krueger.
That's exactly what I said to my boss this morning... I said "the sox signed : Fred Krueger", and he knew exactly who I was talking about
01-12-2006, 09:41 AM
#654
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by Always Dirty
Graffanino is the man.
It's funny how the sox thought he'd sign with another team, and we've got him for another year...
We've got some depth at some positions, so he could be used for trading come July...
I've got a login @ clublexus
, so I'll ask 1sicklex (mike), what he'd give us for JC
01-12-2006, 09:45 AM
#655
Originally Posted by GreenMonster
I've got a login @ clublexus , so I'll ask 1sicklex (mike), what he'd give us for JC
, so I'll ask 1sicklex (mike), what he'd give us for JC
01-20-2006, 10:46 AM
#657
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by CL Platano
I am surprised Greenmonster and AD aren't doing cartwheels about the news of Theo's return.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
01-20-2006, 10:56 AM
#660
Senior Moderator
Great to have him back, yes...but, most of the decisions have been already made in the offseason by the organization, no? So, not sure what he can do now...
01-20-2006, 12:00 PM
#662
Team Owner
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Yumchah
Great to have him back, yes...but, most of the decisions have been already made in the offseason by the organization, no? So, not sure what he can do now...
01-22-2006, 08:14 PM
#666
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by CL Platano
Well the Sox traded Guillermo Mota and Marte to the Indians for centerfield Coco Crisp. Theo comes back and they get a Centerfielder..damn
Alex Gonzalez might be the solution to our shortstop problem...
http://www.boston.com/sports/basebal...xtras/thebuzz/
01-22-2006, 09:11 PM
#667
Senior Moderator
Baltimore acquires Benson from the Mets...but, the bigger news is that Baltimore now gets his wife too.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
01-22-2006, 11:14 PM
#668
Team Owner
Thread Starter
That BMore rotation is looking better and better. Julio is a nice reliever if he has the year he had when he was the closer. He's setup/insurance for Looper.
01-23-2006, 08:18 AM
#669
My Garage
Originally Posted by Doom878
That BMore rotation is looking better and better. Julio is a nice reliever if he has the year he had when he was the closer. He's setup/insurance for Looper.
And Julio has gotten progessivly worse the past 3 years, but the fact that Benson was not one of Minaya's deals and that Benson's name doesn't end in an O or Z means that he is going to be traded.
I guess he still sees potential in Julio even though he's an hermano. I guess Wagner is too. 
01-23-2006, 09:44 AM
#671
Tristate ViP Crew
Originally Posted by Yumchah
Baltimore acquires Benson from the Mets...but, the bigger news is that Baltimore now gets his wife too.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200....ap/index.html
01-23-2006, 10:49 AM
#673
Safety Car
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Originally Posted by GreenMonster
Only a rumor... and supposably contingent on the Indians finding an out fielder... but the teams have allegedly aggreed to the trade.
Alex Gonzalez might be the solution to our shortstop problem...
http://www.boston.com/sports/basebal...xtras/thebuzz/
Alex Gonzalez might be the solution to our shortstop problem...
http://www.boston.com/sports/basebal...xtras/thebuzz/
01-23-2006, 03:22 PM
#675
Team Owner
Thread Starter
He's not all that bad. He occasionally gets timely hits but his hitting is average at best. IF he hits power he'll bat .230, vice versa if he bats .280. But his glove is automatic.
01-24-2006, 11:13 PM
#678
Senior Moderator
The Barry Bonds show?!????
Well, I guess it'd make for good TV for some...?
==============
A Barry strange idea
Posted: January 23, 2006
If you thought Being Bobby Brown was a train wreck, just wait till you see what ESPN is hoping to bring its viewers this baseball season. The network reportedly is working out a deal to air a weekly documentary-style show that follows Barry Bonds in his quest to become the all-time home run leader. Cameras would be with him on and off the field.
It's difficult to imagine who in the Bonds camp thinks this a good idea. It could play out disastrously for the bitter, often angry, media-hating Bonds. Of course, that would make for some must-see television.
Kara Yorio is a staff writer for Sporting News
01-25-2006, 08:49 AM
#680
Tristate ViP Crew
I think all the sports writers needs to stop yanking Bonds willie mays if I was him I wouldn't play in the tournament either after coming of an injury season. Why risk immortality when you know you are gonna lose to the Dominicans anyway 
