Wills and Won'ts in bed...
#1
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Wills and Won'ts in bed...
I was talking to a buddy of mine (my best friend of almost 20 years) & he was expressing frustration with his inability to gauge exactly what his sexual partners (saying 'girlfriends' made it sound like he has several at one time) will allow him to do & what they'd be willing to do for him. I agree that a lot of times you're afraid that if you suggest something out of the ordinary to someone you've been with for a long time, that they'll stop what they're doing, look at you like you're insane, & refuse to ever touch you again for being an absolute freak.
I'm sure there are lots of folks - guys & girls alike - that have s/o's that would probably be willing to fulfill sexual requests if asked, but won't if the person is too afraid to ask.
What we agreed is that it would be really nice if there were some sort of checklist - of sexual acts from mild & mundane to questionably legal - that rated said activities from, say, 0 to 5:
0 = "no, I'd never do that ever ever ever"
1 = "because you're my husband/wife..." or " because I love you so much, we can do this on occasion"
2 = "I might be open to this on a semi-regular basis, but you'll have to work pretty hard to make it nice"
3 = "I'm game if you are - I could see this being fun"
4 = "Yeah, I've always liked the idea of this...let's try do fit this in [no pun intended] as often as possible"
5 = "Let's interrupt this survey to do this...twice."
It could take all the guesswork out of exploring your options, help you avoid a really embarrassing situation (or several of them), and open a whole new set of doors to an already good relationship.
What do you think of the idea, and if anyone knows of anything like that, I'll offer +1 and about tree fiddy (USD).
Cliff's:
- it's frustrating to ask a s.o. if they want to _______ in bed with you, only to get the face.
- can there be a checklist of bedroom activities & your willingness to do them?
I'm sure there are lots of folks - guys & girls alike - that have s/o's that would probably be willing to fulfill sexual requests if asked, but won't if the person is too afraid to ask.
What we agreed is that it would be really nice if there were some sort of checklist - of sexual acts from mild & mundane to questionably legal - that rated said activities from, say, 0 to 5:
0 = "no, I'd never do that ever ever ever"
1 = "because you're my husband/wife..." or " because I love you so much, we can do this on occasion"
2 = "I might be open to this on a semi-regular basis, but you'll have to work pretty hard to make it nice"
3 = "I'm game if you are - I could see this being fun"
4 = "Yeah, I've always liked the idea of this...let's try do fit this in [no pun intended] as often as possible"
5 = "Let's interrupt this survey to do this...twice."
It could take all the guesswork out of exploring your options, help you avoid a really embarrassing situation (or several of them), and open a whole new set of doors to an already good relationship.
What do you think of the idea, and if anyone knows of anything like that, I'll offer +1 and about tree fiddy (USD).
Cliff's:
- it's frustrating to ask a s.o. if they want to _______ in bed with you, only to get the face.
- can there be a checklist of bedroom activities & your willingness to do them?
#3
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Knowing how long it takes a woman to choose shoes or a sweater, I'd probably be limp and/or asleep by the time she finished reading the list and decided on which of the options was appropriate.
#4
Go Giants
Im just happy enough to get normal sex....
#5
Most girls will try anything at least once, unless its like urinating or taking a dump on there chest.
Then again, if you request to do this, somethings wrong with you and she should give you a strange look.
Then again, if you request to do this, somethings wrong with you and she should give you a strange look.
#6
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I'm usually in the 0/1 camp. Whenever I pursue non-traditional endeavors (butt, swallow, woody woodpecker), my S/O gives me an "you're nuts/perverted" expression and I begin to hear the Meatloaf song, "I would do anything for love ... but I won't do that" loud and clear.
#7
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I'm not sure why you can't talk openly about things. I tell me wife all the things I'd like to try and vice versa.
She'll try most anything once, but I suppose it helps that my requests aren't very crazy. Besides a threesome (which she goes back and forth about) she's receptive.
SHE wants to try anal, but she says it hurts every time we try, so we stopped trying. Maybe someday.
She'll try most anything once, but I suppose it helps that my requests aren't very crazy. Besides a threesome (which she goes back and forth about) she's receptive.
SHE wants to try anal, but she says it hurts every time we try, so we stopped trying. Maybe someday.
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#8
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^^ The method FTW
#9
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Every "S/O", "F/B", "G/F", "P", or "1nghtr" that I've Donky Kong'd has always given me a 2-5... a couple of weeks ago I had this chick with a valid V Card sice me wit the even when she said she was "saving herself"!!! LMAO
If you been with a girl for more than.... eh... 5 months or so and she keeps throwin the 0 or 1 at you then you jus gotta give her the and ... OOORRRR and then LOL
Gotta get that nut on!!!
If you been with a girl for more than.... eh... 5 months or so and she keeps throwin the 0 or 1 at you then you jus gotta give her the and ... OOORRRR and then LOL
Gotta get that nut on!!!
#10
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Originally Posted by MightySemen
Every "S/O", "F/B", "G/F", "P", or "1nghtr" that I've Donky Kong'd has always given me a 2-5... a couple of weeks ago I had this chick with a valid V Card sice me wit the even when she said she was "saving herself"!!! LMAO
If you been with a girl for more than.... eh... 5 months or so and she keeps throwin the 0 or 1 at you then you jus gotta give her the and ... OOORRRR and then LOL
Gotta get that nut on!!!
If you been with a girl for more than.... eh... 5 months or so and she keeps throwin the 0 or 1 at you then you jus gotta give her the and ... OOORRRR and then LOL
Gotta get that nut on!!!
#14
Originally Posted by MightySemen
Every "S/O", "F/B", "G/F", "P", or "1nghtr" that I've Donky Kong'd has always given me a 2-5... a couple of weeks ago I had this chick with a valid V Card sice me wit the even when she said she was "saving herself"!!! LMAO
If you been with a girl for more than.... eh... 5 months or so and she keeps throwin the 0 or 1 at you then you jus gotta give her the and ... OOORRRR and then LOL
Gotta get that nut on!!!
If you been with a girl for more than.... eh... 5 months or so and she keeps throwin the 0 or 1 at you then you jus gotta give her the and ... OOORRRR and then LOL
Gotta get that nut on!!!
#15
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Originally Posted by cibs
#19
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Originally Posted by L's TL
man just the laugh i needed today...if a chick isnt down for what im about to lay down then she can roll out
ah, the joys of taking the 'significant' out of 'significant other'.
yeah..being married changes things, but both for the good & the bad. The bad: if you're wanting to try drastically new things & you've been together a while, if she's not receptive, she may start to wonder what other bizarre things are in your head & question your...intentions. The good: in most marriages (mine included), the s.o. is truly dedicated to the marriage & will at least let you speak your mind w/o judging you & will consider doing things you want to do solely based on the affection they have for you.
Perhaps my original point was lost...the 'survey', if you will, was not meant to replace a discussion about this stuff, but rather to break the ice & begin the conversations.
edit: I see you lurking wndrlst...any comments from the other side?
Last edited by revitupwriteitoff; 08-23-2007 at 07:11 PM.
#20
Earth-bound misfit
So, would this be a first date kind of survey?
#22
Earth-bound misfit
Heyyy, I'm not lurking...I posted!
#25
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
It'd be me, sucka
#27
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Originally Posted by sonnyg80
It'd be me, sucka
Nu-uh. Yummy has manners. He'd at least ask first...you'd just start before she even got a say.
#28
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
Quite well, reading up on what i should or shouldn't do in the bedroom
Yourself...?
Yourself...?
#29
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by revitupwriteitoff
Nu-uh. Yummy has manners. He'd at least ask first...you'd just start before she even got a say.
#31
Originally Posted by revitupwriteitoff
Nu-uh. Yummy has manners. He'd at least ask first...you'd just start before she even got a say.
I think wndrlst would agree that YumChoo is the one who jumps to 3rd base on his first post
#34
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
I think wndrlst would agree that YumChoo is the one who jumps to 3rd base on his first post
Except when encouraged.
#36
Earth-bound misfit
Hmmm, I will work on this and get back to you.
For now, I've gotta go for a li'l run. BBL, promise.
For now, I've gotta go for a li'l run. BBL, promise.
#38
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
you didn't even fix my grammatical mistake
#40
Team Owner
You will get a lot more if you just do and don't ask.
By the time they are like WTF its too late.
By the time they are like WTF its too late.