Wills and Won'ts in bed...
08-23-2007, 08:38 PM
#44
Earth-bound misfit
So, what exactly is your question, Rev? Whether or not a woman would be open to participating in such a survey? Or are you trying to get a read on how common it is for certain things to be "allowed?" Wassup?
08-23-2007, 08:46 PM
#45
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well, ultimately I was hoping someone would point the way to such a survey - either that or make one themselves. It's also not directed specifically toward women - there are lots of women that want to try stuff that their guys may or may not, I'd imagine.
in the end, I'd imagine that this thread would end up being a discussion of the gap between what we all want to do in the bed (or wherever
)and what we actually get to do, & if there is such a gap with some couples.
in the end, I'd imagine that this thread would end up being a discussion of the gap between what we all want to do in the bed (or wherever
)and what we actually get to do, & if there is such a gap with some couples.
08-23-2007, 08:52 PM
#46
Earth-bound misfit
Certainly don't know of such a survey. You should take a stab at it. (Horrid pun intended. 
)
08-23-2007, 09:03 PM
#47
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Originally Posted by wndrlst
Certainly don't know of such a survey. You should take a stab at it. (Horrid pun intended. )I don't think I know enough (and I certainly don't have the energy) to create such a document.
08-23-2007, 09:14 PM
#48
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by revitupwriteitoff
I don't think I know enough (and I certainly don't have the energy) to create such a document.
08-23-2007, 09:34 PM
#49
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alright....let's go with 2 different ones: from a guy to a girl & from a girl to a guy. If you're homo, 
girl do to guy
- hand job
- oral sex
- finish in mouth
- swallow
guy do to girl
- breast sex
- oral sex
- sex toys (could be a section of its own...)
- anal sex
other ideas...positions, threesomes +, swinging, locations.
and I'm spent (yet another joke)
girl do to guy
- hand job
- oral sex
- finish in mouth
- swallow
guy do to girl
- breast sex
- oral sex
- sex toys (could be a section of its own...)
- anal sex
other ideas...positions, threesomes +, swinging, locations.
and I'm spent (yet another joke)
08-23-2007, 09:42 PM
#50
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not sure how many s.o.'s would really take a survey?? i can see many female s.o.'s getting upset at the fact you'd ask such things and that you don't 'know them' well enough after all this time that they have to take a survey. (just thinking how a woman would react) 
08-23-2007, 09:49 PM
#52
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
so in the end - a simple one-on-one convo between lovers would be much better than doing a cosmo survey 
08-23-2007, 09:51 PM
#53
Earth-bound misfit
BUT, I concede that every couple is different, so if some people need some sort of prompting to get a dialogue opened up, I can see where some guidance could be helpful. I guess. I'm told some people aren't as comfortable talking about such things. :P
I'm told some people aren't as comfortable talking about such things. :P
08-23-2007, 09:51 PM
#54
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
:shakehead
So sasha, what are your rules of 'engagement'
So sasha, what are your rules of 'engagement'
I used to be pretty open to everything before, but with my current S.O., threesomes are off the list. I'm not going to share him!
08-23-2007, 09:56 PM
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Originally Posted by wndrlst
BUT, I concede that every couple is different, so if some people need some sort of prompting to get a dialogue opened up, I can see where some guidance could be helpful. I guess. I'm told some people aren't as comfortable talking about such things. :P
I'm told some people aren't as comfortable talking about such things. :PI, for that matter, am very open to such talks
08-23-2007, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by sasha
The best way to figure out "the rules in bed" is to have an open dialogue with your partner about each other's fantasies and boundaries. Once they are laid out on the table, allow time to let the ideas sink in. You can then start the ball rolling by initiating fulfilling one of your partner's desires, all the while expressing how it pleases you to fulfill his/her.
I used to be pretty open to everything before, but with my current S.O., threesomes are off the list. I'm not going to share him!
I used to be pretty open to everything before, but with my current S.O., threesomes are off the list. I'm not going to share him!
. Not jumping straight into the unknown of one another's fantasies would make it harder vs. easing into it as you mentioned (again, no pun intended).
08-23-2007, 09:59 PM
#57
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Well...I completely agree w/you guys that used the 'open dialogue' line, but
1) there are a lot of people that would be more comfortable only using something like this since they feel weird saying and/or hearing these words and
2) I intended this type of thing to be the ice-breaker to get the two talking about what's on the list, to give ideas, and to open doors to discussions about stuff that might not even be on the list - a lot of people have fantasies they don't even know about yet
1) there are a lot of people that would be more comfortable only using something like this since they feel weird saying and/or hearing these words and
2) I intended this type of thing to be the ice-breaker to get the two talking about what's on the list, to give ideas, and to open doors to discussions about stuff that might not even be on the list - a lot of people have fantasies they don't even know about yet
08-23-2007, 09:59 PM
#58
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
Very true...
I, for that matter, am very open to such talks
I, for that matter, am very open to such talks
08-23-2007, 10:01 PM
#60
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by revitupwriteitoff
Well...I completely agree w/you guys that used the 'open dialogue' line, but
1) there are a lot of people that would be more comfortable only using something like this since they feel weird saying and/or hearing these words and
2) I intended this type of thing to be the ice-breaker to get the two talking about what's on the list, to give ideas, and to open doors to discussions about stuff that might not even be on the list - a lot of people have fantasies they don't even know about yet
1) there are a lot of people that would be more comfortable only using something like this since they feel weird saying and/or hearing these words and
2) I intended this type of thing to be the ice-breaker to get the two talking about what's on the list, to give ideas, and to open doors to discussions about stuff that might not even be on the list - a lot of people have fantasies they don't even know about yet
08-23-2007, 10:02 PM
#61
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
On the other hand, a fun lil survey could be something to chuckle about together and then frisky
...as rev said, could be...inspiring.
08-23-2007, 10:07 PM
#63
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
How do you get inspi...erm 
Don't make sasha come in here & give you the smackdown... :P
08-23-2007, 10:09 PM
#64
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Originally Posted by wndrlst
Don't make sasha come in here & give you the smackdown... :Pexactly what I was going to say...she's already threatened a
so no one else is going to intelligently add to the list?
08-23-2007, 10:12 PM
#65
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by revitupwriteitoff
Well...I completely agree w/you guys that used the 'open dialogue' line, but
1) there are a lot of people that would be more comfortable only using something like this since they feel weird saying and/or hearing these words and
2) I intended this type of thing to be the ice-breaker to get the two talking about what's on the list, to give ideas, and to open doors to discussions about stuff that might not even be on the list - a lot of people have fantasies they don't even know about yet
1) there are a lot of people that would be more comfortable only using something like this since they feel weird saying and/or hearing these words and
2) I intended this type of thing to be the ice-breaker to get the two talking about what's on the list, to give ideas, and to open doors to discussions about stuff that might not even be on the list - a lot of people have fantasies they don't even know about yet
08-23-2007, 10:19 PM
#66
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Originally Posted by sasha
You can always start off by playing one of those adult games you can buy from a sex shops like the sexual dice game. Loosen up with some drinks, play, and have fun!
08-23-2007, 10:20 PM
#68
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
hey hey, i've contributed much to this thread...a lil e- is ok
is ok 
08-23-2007, 10:25 PM
#70
Earth-bound misfit
Plenty of open dialogue. Always. No surveys. Did buy one of those games with an ex once. Ended up just reading through cards & um, playing, rather than actually following any of the rules of the game, lol.
08-23-2007, 10:30 PM
#71
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
So, the better question is has anyone done any of the above with their s.o. ?? (i.e. 'surveys', sex dice, straight up asking them)
In one case, an ex told me he has a surprise for me. He took me for a drive which ended at a sex shop. He let me browse around and said I can get whatever I fancy. I think it was an excellent move because I didn't feel pressured and he made me feel I was in control of the situation. We left the shop feeling we both won something.
08-23-2007, 10:33 PM
#72
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Originally Posted by sasha
I always talk openly with my partner...
In one case, an ex told me he has a surprise for me. He took me for a drive which ended at a sex shop. He let me browse around and said I can get whatever I fancy. I think it was an excellent move because I didn't feel pressured and he made me feel I was in control of the situation. We left the shop feeling we both won something.
In one case, an ex told me he has a surprise for me. He took me for a drive which ended at a sex shop. He let me browse around and said I can get whatever I fancy. I think it was an excellent move because I didn't feel pressured and he made me feel I was in control of the situation. We left the shop feeling we both won something.
you seem much more open to that sort of stuff, though - my wife doesn't care to go in a place like that at all, regardless of how much $ she has to spend.
08-23-2007, 10:36 PM
#73
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by revitupwriteitoff
you seem much more open to that sort of stuff, though - my wife doesn't care to go in a place like that at all, regardless of how much $ she has to spend.
08-23-2007, 10:37 PM
#74
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
So, the better question is has anyone done any of the above with their s.o. ?? (i.e. 'surveys', sex dice, straight up asking them)
08-23-2007, 10:39 PM
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Originally Posted by wndrlst
No fair....asking but not telling. :P
Honestly, i've been open with my exes as far as doing 'stuff' - so open dialogue but never went to a sex shop or played any type of game to get in the mood.
08-23-2007, 10:41 PM
#77
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by wndrlst
I remember you brought up a similar subject in the porn thread...about possibly encouraging her to watch with you. Have looked into any soft porn for her? Also, erotic literature is awesome for women. Maybe you could browse around the bookstore (or Amazon) for some quality erotic literature. It could be her gateway drug to porn.
I think women prefer erotica over porn.
08-23-2007, 10:42 PM
#78
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
Honestly, i've been open with my exes as far as doing 'stuff' - so open dialogue but never went to a sex shop or played any type of game to get in the mood.
I was younger & more inhibited.
08-23-2007, 10:42 PM
#79
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by sonnyg80
But, i'm definitely open to all of that
Just a clarification
Just a clarification
08-23-2007, 10:45 PM
#80
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Originally Posted by wndrlst
I remember you brought up a similar subject in the porn thread...about possibly encouraging her to watch with you. Have looked into any soft porn for her? Also, erotic literature is awesome for women. Maybe you could browse around the bookstore (or Amazon) for some quality erotic literature. It could be her gateway drug to porn.
yeah...that was the 1st and last experience with walking on the 'wild side'
I figured I'd give it a while before going for it again - we're moving toward more 'natural' means of extracurricular excitement rather than using things you can buy at stores (for now 
)