I just don't get it... she always beats me to them, i'm not lazy but I'm also not obsessed with the house being sparkling clean. When she says she is "hating the thought of doing the dishes right now" I walk over to take them on myself and I get yelled at and am told to put the f*ing dishes down... and then a 20 min lecture on why I should want to do the dishes with out being asked. I realize I have a duty to keep the house clean however why am I being shunned from even doing a minimal amount of work. I'd figure she'd be thrilled and say things like that all the time to get me to do them more often. It's not done out of pity or anything, its just that I need a reminder every now and then to do them because she came from a home where all of that was part of her family's daily routine.... my family always ate frozen pizza, micorwave dinners and take out so dishes we're seldom ever thought about... when the did become an issue, my mom got a cleaning lady to come in once a week. I'm not dismissing my responcability but maybe asking her for a little more patience with my "lack of taking the initiave" and help me through learn diffrent rather than tearing my head off and just doing them herself with a sequoia sized chip on her shoulder.

any comments/sugguestions?

 

maybe i'm over reacting... after all they are just dishes

 

Have you told her what you just told us?

 

Is this the 19 year old you plan on marrying..?

 

My wife bitches about laundry but then won't let me touch it. So I just let her bitch.

 

 

Stop being a slob

 

sounds like my mom - not with dishes tho I clean up after myself all the time...

but just in general if she asks me to do something it's a big deal cuz I should be 'psychic' and know what to do...



it usually doesn't get better

 

I cook, she cleans...no problem.

All I can say is just divvy up the work. I make dinner, vacuum and take care of the outside. She takes care of the inside cleaning. She never helps me with outside yardwork (she hates), I dont help her with the dishes (I hate).

 

she doesn't want you to do the dishes, per say, she wants you to tell her how much you appreciate what she does around the house. and when women wanna bitch, then they will bitch, whether its about dishes or not.

 

ahh yes i have considered this phenomanon

no i mean i've talked to her about this, im a pretty straight forward guy and dont like to leave conflict lingering. she is just going through a lot of hard stuff lately and i think its just frutrating for her because shes OCD about cleaning up and feels like shes the only one who ever notices its dirty. Maybe my standard of dirty as a guy is different but she always beats me to it and then when i try to help she doesn't think its genuine.

 

Welcome to the club. My wife is the same way. I will try to explain it to you. Well when you don't do stuff like dishes and clean up behind yourself women feel like they are your mother and are cleaning up behind your lazy ass. I guess it makes them feel marginalized.

Me personally I don't get why women get so pissed about dishes. I grew up in a house where my mom did the dishes and my dad did the lawn, bathrooms, trash, got gas for my moms car and repaired stuff around the house. I do the same thing and don't like being hassled by the dishes. In all honesty, i find doing dishes kinda gross.

 

"Wash the fucking dishes!" -Waiting

I hear ya man, I get nagged and bitched at all the time cuz I "do nothing" around my house, yet she's a bigger slob than me and I come home and clean up after her every night while she's at work. She's also a psycho about cleaning things except her own, will leave her clothes and shit everywhere but if I put a bill envelope on the counter because I intend to pay it, it magically disappears into a pile never to be seen again cuz it was "clutter"

 

And as Whiskers says, ???

Are you talking about putting the dishes in the dishwasher or washing them in the sink? It's easy to put them into the dishwasher right after use...

Otherwise, put together a routine if you can-- help her clear the table; do the dishes every other day, whatever works...

 

It could also be that time of the month, unless she always yells at you for "doing the dishes."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAuyLVPQ4Tc

 

Agree that each person puts the dishes they use in the dishwasher. That's what my family has always done

 

or



Mike

 

Help her?

Do it before she asks you. Then the dishes get done, she's happy, and you don't feel like you're being nagged and lectured. You both win.

 

god damn hilarious!

 

washing in the sink... she swears by it. I've tried loading the dishwasher but she sees them in there she makes more work for herself and unloads it and does it all by hand

 

I swear I kept referencing that scene last night while we were arguing about it... fuckin hilarious cuz I was playing MLB 07 the show on ps3 when she got upset.

 

we're on the same wavelength...I was going to suggest watching this same scene...

 

I think she has always wanted you to do the dishes more frequently than you thought but she couldn't tell you directly. It may sound weird (maybe not ) but some girls wish the guy can read their minds and offer help with household chores. I admit I was like that when I was much younger, but I have learned that I have to speak out my mind and stop having these expectations.

My fiancee and I agreed that if I cook, he'll do the dishes. And if he cooks, then I do it.

 

Totally agree!

Before splitting up the work, I used to be in the situation where I cleaned up everything and I felt like I got no help until I asked for it - which irritated me.

After awhile, we just decided that he would take care of the kitchen (b/c he likes to cook) and I would do laundry. Argument free about 'chores' for almost a year now!

 

Wow, I am not sure what she is thinking, but as for me. I love it when my husband do the dishes for me. I am really busy here lately for the pass year so him doing them is one less thing that I have to do. I really appreciate it a lot when he do something that make my plate less full. I don't know what is wrong with her maybe it is more than the dishes that she has a problem with you, and she is just using the dishes as and excuse instead of saying what is really wrong. That's my guess.

 

Well tell her that you're more than happy to do the dishes the way the rest of the industrialized world does it with the dishwasher, but if she feels the need to be OCD about it, let her go right ahead.

 

i am usually the only person to wash the dishes, i wash them by hand... he puts them in the dishwasher which annoys me, its just the 2 of us, no need to waste all that water! cooking and cleaning are 2 things i never complain about, but when i am done with them i want my "attention"

 

Buy more than 2 sets of dishes and flatware.

 

It probably takes less water to wash a full dishwasher of dishes in the dishwasher than by hand.

2 people live in my house and it takes about 2 weeks to fill up the dishwasher.

 

i hate dirty dishes, and plus it gives me something to do when i get home from work...otherwise i will just set around and be bored.

 

Wanna come be my maid?

 

Cuz, you're white.

Us Asians get beat if we don't do housework.







<----- Quite housebroken...house is spotless.

 

Its the opposite at our house.

Me - Becoming more and more OCD

Her - Doing less and less

It seems like im doing everything around the house. Im the good cook and enjoy it but would like my equal to help clean up. For awhile she would eat then fall asleep so id end up doing the cleaning since i can't stand a dirty kitchen.

We just bought a house and it really feels like im doing everything now. I cook, do the dishes, clean, take out the trash, check mail, walk the dog, take care of the yard...

Shes a HS teacher and a volleyball coach so she is gone 13 hours a day, while im gone 11. She wants me to do the majority around the house since shes gone longer and comes home and sometimes does more school work.

Im ok with doin more this time of the year but not EVERYTHING.

I might be crazy and overreacting but its driving me nuts. Im thinking assigning certain chores is the way to go.


Luther

 

I live with my older brother. We split responsibilities. One of my duties is the dishes. I do em everyday .... not such a big deal...especially since 95% of them are mine.

 

IMO, this topic is always going to be cause for some argument, but it is a retarded one. I refuse to get into a fight with my wife over plates in the sink. If it bothers me, I'll just do them. If not, she will get to them before bed. We try to never let them stay in the sink over night. For the most part we pick up the slack for the other one.

There are a lot of small things that gets an argument going. I'm no expert. I've only been married 4 years. But I just don't think dishes, cleaning, laundry or something like that is worth fighting.

For me, I am a decent cook, and I can do my own cleaning. I've lived on my own long enough. So, if something bugs me about cleaning, I just do it and move on.

 

except, she cooks most of the time and i clean up. when i cook, i also clean up.

 

Mostly the same at our house. But it's just not worth the argument.

 

youre a woman right?

sometimes women dont realize that we dont have an eye for this kind of stuff and we need a reminder. its not that we dont care, or think you should do it, we just fucking forget.

i feel the OP, its like youre damned if you do and damned if you dont. not only do you have to do what she asks you, but you have to do it when she asks, and with a smile.

theres no reasoning though.

trust me

 

:nazi: