I came to the realization that I don't think I ever want to get married. I love my GF, but I just don't want to get married. I'm 28...and I still haven't ever had the disire to even think about taking the plunge. My current GF is great...she is what one would call marrige meterial, but I just see it happening...or atleast anytime soon. Am I fucked up?

 

no not at all... it is okay to not want to get married at 28 you are still young. You may change your mind you may not. the thing is though as you get older you will find that most women do want to get married. But right now no you are fine you are still young.

 

I don't want to get married, but that may change. I also don't want to have kids but that also might change.

 

I don't think I want to either. If it happens it happens, but I'm not gung ho about it anymore. I used to be. Things change.

 

Nicky... are you 'anti' marriage because you don't want to commit to a woman, or because the institution of marriage doesn't mean much?

Personally, as an atheist and a libertarian, marriage doesn't really have much appeal to me, other than a few financial benefits.

 

I don't know. I guess I figure if I want out...the loss would be minimal. Its not the fear of committment...The whole idea of a rediculous wedding...inviting people you'd rather push down a flight of stairs then have a meal with. Dealing with shitty family other then mine....and being legally tied to anoter family....its seems like a big waste. If your dating...exclusive...and happy...I think marrige would throw a monkey in the wrench!

 

Who cares what it means to you. If you really love this woman, and that's what she wants, then you make the sacrifice for her, and both your family's. Otherwise you're waisting your time.

Now on the other hand, if she's perfectly content with never wanting to go through it herself, then bonus.

All I have to say is that if you plan early, budget properly, things go as smooth as they can. And once the day arrives, everything that leads up to it makes it all worth it.

 

I agree 10 years too late.(Marrried for 10 yrs)
Really it is a concession if she wants it and if not then co-habitate for life but missout on the financial benefits.

 

Better to figure that out now than after you get married. If there's any doubt, you probably shouldn't. You'll know if and when you're ready. It's not fair to anyone if you rush into it - especially if kids get into the picture.

 

Nicky, are you proposing to us

 

While I have similar beliefs, I wouldn't have any objection to getting married one day. I agree it is more for the tradition, and I guess as a sybol, right or wrong, of "devotion."

I, however, would like a small wedding, hell, I wouldn't have an objection to doing it in Vegas.

Mike

 

I think I'm about ready I better be, I'm buying a ring this week

I love her, I want to be with her, and most importantly, she's the only person I've slept with in the last three years, so that must mean something! Right!?

In all seriousness, you're not ready because you haven't found "it" yet...
When you find it, you feel it and you know you are ready. I thought I MIGHT have been ready in past relationships, but I clearly was NOT.
Your reasoning is that you have an easy out if you want break it off...you clearly are not ready to get married. However, when you're truely in love, you don't think about making sure you've got a clear path out...all you think about is making it work and doing what you have to do to keep her. Just because you're not ready now doesn't mean you never will be...it's like Michiraces2much said earlier..."things change"...and sooner than you realize.

 

I didn't think I wanted to be married, either. Heck, I still don't know if I want to be married, but I want to be with my wife and I can't have one without the other, so...

 

I guess I'm being selfish!

....but still, I can't see myself doing it anytime soon!

 

Hell no, but then again, I'm 22 so I shouldn't be anyway!

BTW there is no real finding "it". "It" is make believe. You may find someone you can make life together work with but there is no true "it". That's folklore. Chances are if you could make marriage work with one person there are other people out there that you never even met that you could have made it work with too. It's a matter of compatibility, not not meant-to-bility. Nobodies relationship is really special, you just tell yourself that when you are in love because the feeling of being in love is a strong narcotic that fucks up your mental process.

 

Then don't! Is someone holding a gun to your head or something? Do whatever makes you happiest in the stage of life you're in now. No one can predict how you'll feel in the future.

 

True, but I know me.....I'm not sure its something I'll ever do!

 

Again -- then don't! What's the big dilemma? Don't worry about it. Not everyone's meant to follow the same road in life. Do whatever feels best for YOU.

 

If that's what you (don't) want, then stick to it. Just be upfront with whoever you are dating and make sure they are on the same page. Most likely, she will assess the situation to see how firm you are in your belief. If she can't change your mind (which she will likely try to do), then she will leave.

 

Yeah dude, don't sacrifice your personal happiness for some broad. Look at it this way, if it isn't really what you want you will reap the consequences of that later in terms of your happiness. If you feel forced into it you will regret it later and blame her and she will be unhappy in the marriage too. You'd be hurting both of you. I think you should keep doing what you are doing man.

 

Not to be depressing, but, no matter who you marry, their will statistically always be someone much better looking who would be much more compatible with you out there. Of course their is one pinnacle person, based of the "statistics" rule, but statistically you are not with them, even if you lead the seemingly perfect life 'till death with them.

Just thought I'd share.

P.S. BJSm1th, congrats, I hope you are the only one she has slept with in the past 3 years. JK, congrats again.

Mike

 

I want to get married so i can have cheaper insurance and be part of a DINK.


But yea, not anytime soon.

 

eventually. don't really know why though. i guess so i can say "im married" i don't get all obsessed about the "tradition" of marriage or any of that other crap that is being spread around now.

 

eventually ill get married...i just really dislike the whole bast@rd child concept...maybe its just me....still got plenty of time though, so ill enjoy msyelf...

 

I am planning on getting married within in the next 2 years. I don't want to have kids when I am over 30 and, like JW, I don't like the whole bastard child thing.

 

"i'm not really big on this whole marriage thing, i love women too much to get married, you know what i mean? cause if you love women and then you get marriend, then you love woman and i dont know if im ready to do that yet"

"im scared of that disease to you get when you're married, onegina, i dont wanna get stuck with onegina the rest of my life"

i love that russell peters

anyways, im not even thinking about marriage right now, probably won't consider it until im like 30+

 

Depends on the situation. If your woman doesn't want to get married then it is fine. However, if your woman wants to get married you are just wasting her time and you should cut her loose.

 

i have zero intentions of getting married, and even less of having children

 

I second that. At least im with a guy that is exactly the same way.

 

I want huge wedding and I want my pretty dress

but not until I have my career established and am finacially stable. So yeah, it will be a while. A def. NO on the kiddies tho...that is why I have cousins and a sister...I can "borrow" their kids.

 

I wouldn't stress too much about it. Your still young and seems your very happy with your current gf. I'd say just go with the flow. time will always tell

 

lol no doubt...... marriage is tough, it takes a lot of work to be responsible

 

Don't count yourself out. Keep in mind while the current GF may be marriage material, she may just not be marriage material FOR YOU. You know, kinda like my TL is GREAT, but I know there are other cars that I may like even for or may be a better fit for long term. What I'm trying to say is don't use your current GF as the benchmark for marriagability. Based on her you may NOT want to get married, but there's probably someone out there who could change your mind. I hope that all made sense. If you picture yourself javing kids, don't wait forever. Being an OLD parent is not my idea of fun, and those littel fuckers require some energy on your part!

 

While I'm at it, I'll add this: don't do the kids out of wedlock thing; WAY too much complication. You'll find yourself linked for WAY too long for chicks who are DEFINITELY not marriage material.

 

11 years here, but there are more benefits than financial. There are medical benefits (if she's in an accident, a boyfriend can't authorize surgery or treatment, but a family member/husband can) and other obscure stuff like that. It can be a pain in the neck when you're NOT married, which is why gays want those rights. Shacking up isn't the same, in more ways than financial. I don't want to sway anyone, just to be sure you account for everything in the decision process.

 

Hopefully this coming year

 

DId you get laid yet?

Marriage is good if you don't like change, but to me variety is the spice of life and it's what gets me up every day.

If being legally obligated to fuck the same hole for the rest of your life sounds like your thing I suggest you get married. If not beat the shit up til you're bored then find something new to use.

I've been seeing this chick for a few months and she's awsome, but I'm getting tired. I may have to bounce before the holidays so I can get myself a few extra toys.

 

Well, I think you're being a bit unfair here. "It" DOES exist, but not the way you describe it, as a single entity. "It" is a cocktail of trust, personality, attraction, and miscellaneous stuff that combines when a certain two people hook up, and THAT is what eventually leads to marriage.

 

Too late....that IS depressing! But we can't stop too long to think of the shoulda woulda coulda's of life.

 

I really want to get married